Newbies Nest

[Jeneeva]

Starting Again

Hello All,

I realize this is not a response to the last post, but I'm not quite sure where it should be posted. I did post the following message on "Just Starting Out" earlier today. Fortunately, I did get two responses suggesting I post it on "Newbie's Nest" and this is the only way I can see to do it. I am totally open to info to correct this if I need to post in a different manner.



Starting out again....

I have been here before, many times just to read and try to encourage my self. I had to set up a new account to get onto the boards since they are different now.
Today is my fourth start at trying to beat this beast. I first used Topamax & made it for over a year & a half (had a 45 year sober BF at the time) but the side effects got to be too much for me.
Tried again just using supplements, lasted 3 weeks, but when I posted that, I got no response and caved in. "Any excuse will work...." A couple of months later I started again using baclofen, but by the time I got to high dosage I could hardly walk and my insomnia was unendurable. Lo0p was so great, always encouraging me to try just a little longer. When he transitioned I just fell apart, and quit trying.
So, here I am half way through day one again, and I feel horrible. Hoping to get through 1 minute at a time. Also hoping to make some online friends. None of my large family or few friends
know I have this problem with alcohol, so I can't expect any support there. Have gone to some AA meetings, just not appealing or helpful, and a little scary. Some members were actually aggressive toward me, and at one I was told to sit at a table in a certain room and no one else ever showed up.

I am 67, work, and live alone in Michigan.
Hope I am not posting in the wrong area....
Best of hope and encouragement to all,

Be Well.

Jen

[daisy45]

Just took an Aware test on the Unpickled blog. 28 questions that tell you what your chances of relapsing are....the higher the per centage, you need to take a look at what you need to work on to prevent relapse....my score came out at a 90 per cent chance of relapse in the next 2 months. Shit, and I thought I was working hard!

[NoSugar]

Jen, your post is just right :hug:. There are no rules about responding to previous posts. Sometimes we do and sometimes we just say HELP!You've found a great place to get the support we all need to free ourselves of addiction. The first thing is a plan for what you'll be doing during the time of day you're in the habit of drinking. I hung out here, instead, but the Toolbox is full of other ideas. also, is all the alcohol out of your house? That is really important!

[MossRose]

Hi Jeneeva and welcome. I'm from Michigan (originally) too. I'm a transplant now, but I miss my home state. Anyway, sorry to hear about your previous experiences trying to get sober. It's not like that here. I promise you. Stay with us, tell us your story, and we'll stay by your side. One minute, one day, one week, one month - you can do this. I know it sounds impossible. But I was impossible, and I'm still here. Others will come along soon who have much more time. Please listen to their advice. I did and my life turned around.

Hugs. xx, Moss

[Guitarista]

Hey Jen,

Welcome back. You can post anywhere you like as far as i'm concerned, but here sure is a good place to begin. Congratulations on day 1 and deciding to stop the madness. The first few days are tough as you know. Stick it out and push through. Some distractions such as mindless movies, a walk, an old hobby perhaps, or reading up on something that inspires you......anything to keep your mind off booze while your body does the behind the scenes work and removes the poison.

Have you read our toolbox? Some very useful and inspiring stuff there. Here's the link below.

https://www.mywayout.org/community/showthread.php?24253-Tool-box

Good to see you here friend. Stick around. G

[Hanna]

Hi all-

Thank you for your responses. Well, I can certainly say I feel calmer after seeing the therapist, which is weird, because it is not as though hubby said anything indicating he is coming around. But, just sharing EVERYTHING with her was very helpful. We will be going back next week again, together. Get this...besides her private practice, she is the EAP coordinator for our local firefighters. If you don't know, that is the employee assistance program...basically responsible to help people who have been noted in the workplace to have an addiction program. So she really "get" it.

Any way, just wanted to fill you all in. It's a hell of a lot easier not drinking when I don't have that terrible pit in my stomach. It may be back tomorrow, but I am taking the relief when I can!

Night all

[Hanna]

Oh and welcome Jen!!!

[Lavande]

God evening Nesters,

Looks like it was a fairly busy day here - great!!

Ava, a big CONGRATS to you on 500 AF days, that's just awesome!
I am happy for you & wish you much happiness on your trip with your Mom. I would give anything to have had some more time with mine. Happy upcoming birthday to you as well.

Hello & welcome Jen!
Make yourself comfortable & stay in the nest as long as you like
This is a brand new quit for you so make a good plan. Be sure to address all your drinking triggers & plan ahead. You can do this, we are here for support!

Daisy, I don't know about the test you took - please just discard it & stay on your plan. You are doing great & staying positive is an important tool!!!

Hanna, glad your afternoon went well for you.
I also have a spouse who won't tell me what he's thinking. I've decided I'm not worrying about it anymore. My focus is remaining happy & AL free.

Greetings to everyone & wishing a safe night in the nest for all!

Lav

[Jeneeva]

Thanks, No Sugar. My hope is to be able to hang out here when I can. Frequently life is so overwhelming, I don't even eat, but I always drink wine....carry it with me most everywhere. What else are big purses for? have lots of changes to make for sure. And I know it will take time. The only AL in the house is a friend's beer & strange as it sounds I can't even think of actually drinking it. Still, guess I'll give it back to her when I see her. She lives 2 hours away. Or maybe I'll dump it and just pay her later.
I need to figure out how to put an icon on my iPhone so I can get here to read whenever there's an empty few minutes. Thanks for the reminder of the toolbox, should read it again. Truly appreciate you responding!!

Be Well,

Jen

[abcowboy]

Hi Jen and welcome! To get the icon on your screen, open safari, then go to www.mywayout.org then click on Our Community at the top, when it opens, at the bottom of the screen is a square with an "up arrow" click that, then click the button "Add to Home Screen, and then you're just one click away all the time!

[Jeneeva]

Hi Moss Rose,

Thank you for the encouragement! And thanks for letting me know someone will be there. It is not so much scary, as it sounds like such a different way to be. I have always been the "strong one" that took care of everyone else.
I believe we communicated a couple of years ago or so, something about herbs/natural remedies...And I know what it's like to miss beautiful MI. I've lived all over this country, but there's no place like home. I want to communicate as much as I can. need to set up an instant link on my phone. I am just not too techie, despite working on computers most all days.
Also love your name. Moss Rose, SO much prettier than portulaca, but it seems to be so happy growing anywhere & it's edible.....southern TX....98º & 98% humidity. But, I dither...
thanks you for you kind response.

Hugs back,

Jen

[Jeneeva]

Thank you Lavande!
Be Well.
Jen

[Guitarista]

Moss Rose is edible? Holy Risin' Raison bread!! :thumbsup:

[jane27]

Ava, Wishing you congratulations on your 500 days. Aside from the terrible sadness of Roberts illness you sound radiant. Am excited for your trip to Thailand with you Mum and look forward to hearing how things look from 1 years perspective. You really turned it around with her. It wont happen for me and my Mom, but it still gives me a big dose of faith and positive feelings with regard to relationships ability to evolve- that people aren't necessarily fixed in their position- that saying 'a leopard never changes it spots'. People aren't leopards and change is possible. Thanks for sharing about it with us. xo

[Lavande]

Good morning Nesters & happy Hump day to all

The rain has cleared out of here, I'm looking forward to some sun & warmth.

jane - is that 15 AF months I see in your signature line? Good for you!!!

Wishing everyone a great AF Day!

Lav