Newbies Nest

[aquamarine]

Dutch - I definately get very shakey and panicky with too much caffeine. Can only have one cup of coffee a day. I haven't been on here very long so I don't know but do you work out much. I have found that a strong workout can really help those feelings. I have gone almost a year in the past AF and would still go through days of those type of feelings. I found they would eventually pass but tough to get through. Hang in there!

[LavenderBlue]

Dutch - Something that really helps me when I hit those days (and they're less common the longer I'm sober) is that other folks here have reminded me that out bodies and minds take time to heal. We spent how many years pouring AL into them, and it takes some time for them to settle back out again. I don't know if that helps you, but it helped me to see it as a part of the ongoing healing, and knowing that it would get better and pass in time. I suffered from anxiety and depression long before my drinking was more than once a month, I know it's a crappy thing to go through. I promise you that all of mine has gotten way better the longer I'm sober though and it was definitely getting worse the more I drank. Good thoughts and support your way!

[Rahulthesweet]

Hellos Nesters,

First of all would like to wish PAVITI and Jane for wonderful mile stones !! Both u girls rock ! Both you have been a solid inspiration for new bies and ppl like me who intend to stay sober for life.

But today I feel detached. Detached from everyone. I guess I was always like that even during drinking days. It used to be all about work, work, travel, booze and watching movies alone with my daily booze sessions on my tab. I was self sufficient , no need for friends or anyone. I had my drink and then work which was showing results and then all that travel to exotic places !!

But then booze took over and then I had to crush it ... Thanks to MWO out the beast is no longer in my life. But then I am still a workaholic, not exactly a successful team player (maybe that's why a get so stressed as I keep doing all things by myself).

Today feel as if I am detached from everyone else. Like even on MWO I am just not there ... That's the same thing in my social circle, or even in family (which my wife complained !).

With no AL to turn to , no friends I some time feel what life have I made for myself.

Kids growing, I love them but am not there for them ...

I need to get my priorities straight and start being more efficient then just a workaholic. I must start working on ... "Making friends ?" ...

I really don't know much about that ... (

[available]

Morning nesters

Overit, i am sending you hugs and strength and i hope your mum goes peacefully. I know you wont drink! You are too strong a woman!

Lil, god that sounds awfully painful, maybe some rest might fix it and Robert does call me "Dr Linda" now ha ha. I hope it feels better soon.

Byrd, you need a holiday girl. So many village idiots in the world we have to deal with, so very many.

LavB, i didnt listen to music for months and months. I associated it with drinking and having a good time but when i felt that it would not be a trigger i started listening to my favourites and now music is apart of my life totally again. I wont put any triggers into my life that i can control.

Hanna keep smiling till your face wants to split in half. As long as you dont drink it doesnt matter, you never know you may enjoy yourself sober, you can always walk away to take a few deep breaths.

Dutch as Lavb said it take time to heal emotionally. 39 days is a massive achievement but you are still very addicted to al. This is where you take it one day at a time and it will pass eventually. i think a lot of us alkies suffer anxiety, i know i do although not as horrendously as i did when drinking. My mantra was/is "i feel good, i feel good, i feel good, i feel great, i feel great, i feel great". if i say that 1 billion times i feel a lot better and distraction is a good method. I have a huge fear of flying and for the past week i have been manic some days but i know that i will definitely not drink, i distract myself as much as possible. I cant change how i feel until it passes.

Well today i have to pack, no idea since i am flying at midnight! i have to get on that plane! Robert is not well at all, very tired and feverish and this is not making me keen to go away at all so i will find time to go and visit him today. had a lovely family dinner last night and dug out a bottle of wine for mum that was a gift to me many months ago. she was suprised i kept al in the house and is still very very proud i am not drinking. Funny how if she visited before i would be fretting about wanting/needing/not having a drink and now it has become second nature to make a coffee or something.

Where have all the new faces disappeared to i wonder?????

Rahul, make time for your family now, you will regret it when they get older, they will remember every minute of time that you spend with them while they are young. i have never regretted the hours i spent with my children, i am paid back in so many ways with the closeness and love we have now they are older. i always remember the song "cats in the cradle" about a father and son and he never had time for his son and as the years past his son grew up just like him and never had time for him when he wanted it. Children are a gift given to us.

Take care everyone

PS Jane happy 15 months, you go girl!

[MossRose]

Overit - I'm so sorry to hear about your mom. I wish I knew the perfect words to say, but I don't, so just know that I'm sending love and hugs your way. You and your mom will be in my thoughts. Check in when you can, ok?

Lilbit - ouch!! That hurts. Take care of yourself.

Byrdie - :hug: I know your job can be rough at times. I vote that you take a vacation too. You have earned it. You work hard all day, and then work just as hard on MWO keeping all of us on track. Thank you.

Ava - "Village idiots". Oh my - you do have a way with words. LOL. That one made me giggle.

Well, I did it! I joined a Meet-up group, and I am going to follow through. It's an herb/foraging type group (surprise! haha). It has over 600 members and they are all in my area. There has to be a friend or two in there. So no more "I'm lonely" posts. I'm making this happen.

Have a good night, nesters. Glad to know you all.

[Matt M.]

Just Checking in, I'm doing ok, had a rough few days. Haven't been able to read Any post. Hope to get caught up this evening.

[Mr Vervill]

A quick check in tonight. Thought I had the day off, but work called.
Overit, So sorry about your Mom. Sending prayers and peace your way.

Ava, I'm distressed about Robert with you leaving. Hope things don't go the wrong direction while you're gone. You need the Vacation.

And speaking of Vacations, Byrdie? Sounds like time to get away.

Jen, Aqua, Hang tough, you're doing it.

Dutch, sorry to hear about the rough patch, Thankfully I don't suffer much anxiety, but my wife does, so I sure do have empathy.

Hanna, you're in the proverbial, stuck between a rock and a hard place. Yup, just paste that smile on and bully through. You got this.

Moss, good on you for stepping out of that comfort zone.!

Night all-V

[Byrdlady]

Aquamarine, congrats on your 8 days! That scores you a FULL MOON from us! :moon: thats a 2 cheeked salute for surviving a full week! Great job!

Jane, 15 months already?!! Girl! :welldone:You are rocking this thang. Thanks for all you do for us!

Over it, I'm wishing you strength and peace as you race to your mother's side. Hugs dear lady.
Hanna, I bet you tell your patients to visualize? Thats what I do when it comes to AL. Visualize success and you will have it. Remember, drinking is NOT an option. Adopting that Zero Tolerance policy takes the anxiety out of it! NO decisions to make! Try to enjoy the food! Be sure to eat something before you go, that helps, too. We mistake hunger for cravings a lot of times (at least I do). Eating will get you miles ahead. Good luck.

Rahul, there is only one way to feel less detached and that is to engage! You know you are loved here, so just post more! Same at home, engage with people and they will reciprocate! Work can, and WILL suck the life out of us if we let it. I have stood beside more than one person in the hospital as the end approached....I never heard one of them say 'I wish I had worked MORE'. Great to hear from you!

Hang in everyone...we didnt get here overnight and it takes a while to get out of it. All you gotta do is get thru this day! You can do that! B

Edit to add, thanks Mr V! I am taking an 8 day vacation next month and I cant wait. I DO need it!

[Lavande]

Good evening Nesters,

So many posts to catch up on....

Overit, I am very sorry to hear about your Mom. Sending you virtual hugs, we will all be here for you :hug:

Lil, sorry about your event & your shoulder!
I hope you can find some medical help. AL will not help this situation, but you know that.

Byrdie, geez it sounds like a tough week for you! Glad to be self-employed at this point, no one to deal with but myself

Dutch, it really does take time for us to heal & rewire our brains. Try some sort of relaxation/hypno recordings - helped me quite a bit.

Aquamarine, great on your 8 AF days!!!!
Things will be looking a lot different for you from now on - yay!

Hanna, try not to worry about stuff before it happens. I really learned well from Eckhart Tolle - 'The Power of Now'.

Rahul, what can you do to change your solitary life? I think it's important to connect with other human beings in some way at some point. We are not islands, right?

Jen, glad you are hanging in with us!

Greetings to everyone else & sending wishes for a safe night in the nest for all.

Lav

[KENSHO]

Hi Nest birds. I'm pulling some twigs up for a night of work. Got a lot to catch up on from a week gone. I seem to say and say how I just want to catch up, but then I take on more and more and then I need to catch up more. I get the cycle - need to work on doing less and enjoying now more.

Rahul, I often think of how very important it is to give my kids solid attention at their ages. I do like my work, and I feel it is ok to show them that having something that I strive for and want to achieve is fine, but I could also work on savoring that time with them more. I have heard many times that those who are dying regret not sharing more of themselves to others. After all, in the end, love is all that matters - not that we worked more hours. For me, that is easier said than done... I understand how you feel.

LAV, I love reading how much you are enjoying your family. I'm sure you wouldn't have had the time or maybe even the opportunity if you were still drinking. Makes me happy.

PAV, JANE - BIG congrats to you both! Thanks for paving the way and leading here.

Byrdie - sending YOU some mind peace. I'm sure glad you didn't strangle anyone today (I'm guessing you didn't...). It's funny how much we used to turn to alcohol to numb those situations. Now I recognize a desire for numbing as a need to cope differently - or just accept that there are lots of clowns out there and try to laugh instead!

LilBit, I have totally had those moments of it all just not falling together. Glad you didn't drink!

Hi Dutch. I also have found that since not drinking, I've switched to caffeine. I used to have half a cup a day of coffee, and now I tend to have 2-3 servings. It makes me irritable and anxious at times. I guess it's better than alcohol, but it's still another addictive substance and surely isn't helping me function - only giving me a "reward" just like alcohol did. Hmmmmm, another thing to quit?

Overit, sending good thoughts to you during this hard time with your mom.

AVA - have a FANTASTIC trip!! I've always wanted to see Thailand

I am finding that it has been really effective that I eventually associated alcohol with problems in my life. It's when I really, truly connected drinking every night with a whole host of problems that it became evil and something I didn't want any more. Sure, I crave things about it sometimes, but it doesn't take long before I look at it like a boyfriend I once had and say - thanks, but I'm not into you any more. Good feeling.

Happy almost end of the week!

[Lavande]

Good morning Nesters, happy Friday to all!

Raining here at the moment but that's OK. I think it's going to clear up enough so I can take my girls out somewhere today.

Kensho, glad you are back safe & sound!
You are absolutely right, I am grateful & motivated to keep my quit. I wouldn't want to miss a single second with my grandkids - this is just perfect

Have a terrific AF Friday everyone!

Lav

[aquamarine]

Day 9. Was going to start working out today but have a massive migraine. So frustrating because I can't really do much with it. I'm grateful it's not a hangover though so I don't have to be feeling guilty/angry etc.Overit so sorry about your mother. It must be a terribly difficult time for you. You are in my prayers. Kensho associating drinking with problems and negative outcomes is good. There is truly nothing good that comes from it. It's such a mind game to really let that sink in even though it is completely obvious. Hope everyone has a peaceful day.

[Overit-still]

Here with my mom, just checking in. Have s food day!

[Byrdlady]

Quick check in....
No, I have not choked anyone....but the day is young!

Aqua, funny you should mention associating bad things with AL, that's just what I do. Every negative connotation I can I tack on to it. AL is the enemy and in no way do I support it. I don't buy it, I don't like posts on FB that show it, and I darn sure will not drink it! That stuff tried to kill me! (and still would IF I let it!). So I think it's a good thing....I wouldn't play with a rattlesnake and Im not going to play with AL.

Hope everyone has a peaceful Friday....just another day of the week! Not a ticket to BoozeVille! Hugs to all....Byrdie

[Dutch1988]

Just checking in, feeling a bit better today. Have a appointment to check on our new little one, needed to get another ultrasound because last time he/she/it measured too small. I have a grappling tournament tomorrow that's mostly for fun, I haven't been training hard for it but I always get nervous for tournaments, and I would always go out for a celebratory/forget drink afterwards. Still having a stronger urge to drink than I have been for awhile, don't quite know why but I'm going to stay close to here to make sure I don't do anything stupid.