Newbies Nest

[available]

Afternoon nest,

Well its nice to feel human again. Mum is on the mend and will take her to the drs tomorrow, she is not an easy patient, then again she's not an easy mother!

Cowboy i really dont care now if people accept me as an alcoholic or not now i have been sober for awhile, it is what i am and it is a part of me. I have found in the most part that my friends are very protective of my sobriety. New people i meet if they ask if i want a drink i say no and if they are pushy i will ignore them or tell them straight out i am an alcoholic. i am not ashamed of what i am, i am proud that i am overcoming what a lot of people cannot do. I have become a better person for not drinking but i do think my tolerance is less. We are a work in progress!

Rahul and Pav, going to a concert and being sober is the best. It did bring back memories of so many concerts i dont really remember or appreciate and i was a bit sad about that aspect but if they are not dead i can always go and see them if they come to Australia again. Hope you feel better soon Pav.

Great work Lavb on the positive feedback. Its funny that we always thought we were with it when drinking but that was a far cry from the truth. I know i would have been screwed with mum on the plane if i had been drinking. I was actually very proud of myself that i was not a hysterical mess which i would have been drunk. There are no positives to being a drunk.

TMH, great work on the not drinking. It takes awhile for others to believe in us not drinking. it took me awhile to believe in myself also that i could not drink. We can do anything if we are determined enough.

Well i am off to tackle the unpacking of the holiday.

[treetops]

Just popping in to the nest today to say hello. I was never a fan of live music and am not about to start but for me the great treat in being sober has been good movies (and bad ones too). I always have loved movies but when I was drinking I often gave up half way through because I was wasted or couldn't be bothered. As for sub-titles - forget that when you have been drinking.
Now I can really enjoy movies with complicated plots, sub-titles - whatever - and remember the detail afterwards. I also take in a lot more of the whole production and the acting, cinematography etc when I watch movies.
Just one example of the good things in being sober.

[Dutch1988]

Just checking in real fast. Feeling better everyday and starting to think I am finally adjusting. Still felt like drinking the past two days at my usual restaurant with my wife and hanging out with family later. Here's hoping someday I don't feel like drinking even if it's around.

[Lavande]

Good morning Nesters,

It's Monday morning & I am gearing up for a full day with my younger grandson. It's going to be sunny & warm so we should be outside most of the day, yay!

Dutch, you are doing great & the drinking thoughts will decrease, little by little. One trick I learned was to push the thoughts out of your head as soon as you recognize them. Don't put any importance on them, don't let them take up any space in your head

Wishing everyone a good AF Monday!

Lav

[Byrdlady]

Good Morning, Nesters!
Lav, that's exactly the technique I used....just push those thoughts out. This is my 'go to' strategy 95% of the time....in those rare cases, where I might be feeling sorry for myself, I have to play the scene all the way out to the end. Between the two of those coping skills, I can move on from the event trigger. I have a couple of REALLY good memories to pull out it I need to... My ottoman here in the office that held (at one time) 37 empty, 1 liter boxes. I can pull out my memories of hidden bottles in my closet and 'allowing' myself 7 gulps at a time. I remember 2 parties that I had made appetizers for, and passed out on the couch with my husband glaring at me when I came to....my appetizers still sitting on the counter and the party long over. Of course, I ALWAYS have that morning that my hubs told me he was outta here....so I have plenty of 'good' fuel to keep me going. As Ava said above, 'there is nothing good about being a drunk'.

Dutch, you WILL get to the point where you are indifferent to AL if you keep it out. I thought this would NEVER happen and was convinced that I would struggle for the rest of my life, but it is a merciful phenomenon. There will be a point that it is second nature for you and you will even feel PITY (empathy?) for the hard partiers!!

TreeTops, one major side effect of getting sober IS remembering in detail. I had no idea all the stuff I was missing...I was getting an overview of LIFE and missing ALL the fine details of it. Now, like you, I pay attention to things and I'm fascinated by it all! (as if discovering it for the first time). Thank you for dropping by the nest!

Rahul, so glad to see that you and your family are ok. I was worried that you might have been directly affected by the earthquake in Nepal. GREAT to see you.

ToMyHealth, great job on passing up the AL! I was told that the past weekend was the biggest in sports history....every sport was having some sort of big Brew-ha-ha! You should be very proud of yourself for staying true to YOUR course!! Well done!!

Hope everyone has a an easy Monday. May the forth be with you....ehehehe....(that's getting old) Byrdie

[LilBit]

Morning Twigsters!

Cowboy, I like your take on living an AF life that transcends others' misapplied labels and expectations. That's a great answer to a deep problem.

Pav, I hope you're feeling better this morning. A long, steaming shower might be just the thing. We had that 3-week cold that's been going around recently at my house -- it's no fun. I also wish you an easy work week, and some tomato soup with cheddar bunny crackers.

Lav, a sunny day outside with your younger grandson sounds like fun. You're such a great grandma.

Byrdie, as always, your post was spot-on and described everything quite clearly. I cringed when I read about the appetizers. 'Have done similar things in the past. A friend and I have an expression for "things we wish would never see the light of day." We call them cockroaches. And yes, I can see the value in turning on the light and watching them scurry whenever AL temptation rears its ugly head.

I'm blessed with an unexpected day off today, which I really need after a very intensive workload last week.

Off-subject, if you have the opportunity to see "The Imitation Game," which recently came out on our cable service here, it's well worth watching. Favorite quote: "Sometimes, it takes a person whom no one thinks very much of, to do a thing that no one ever imagined."

[LilBit]

Still felt like drinking the past two days at my usual restaurant with my wife and hanging out with family later. Here's hoping someday I don't feel like drinking even if it's around.

Dutch, it's not surprising that we feel that "pull" when we visit places and people in/with whom we've long associated with AL. If you're like me, those places have decades of AL-immersed experiences that must be reframed with different behaviors & a fresh outlook by the new creatures that we are now. Byrdie explained the "how" better than I could, but I can see that reinventing our social and family life without AL will eventually sink in on a deeper level.

As a self-confessed nerd, I consider it this way: AL consumption is no longer supported (or needed) by the new operating system, which functions at a more efficient level.

[Ginger999]

Hi Nesters..... One year ago today I made the decision to tackle being AF with the help of MWO. I'd tried to quit on my own so many times I can't even count. I'd been lurking around MWO for at least a year without joining. Just reading and learning. I can honestly say that joining and participating here on this site was the fuel/tool I needed to get this quit started for the last time. I have met so many great people here. So many that I can't even begin to list them all.

If you are here and you want to quit, do this one thing.....every time you get the urge to drink, come here first. That's all you have to do. Don't take that drink then come here. Come here first; before you take that drink. Post here what you are thinking of doing. Give yourself 5 minutes to post your thoughts here before you take that drink. That's all you have to do. There are so many amazing people here poised to help you with your quit. Take there help. You will NEVER regret it.

THANK YOU for being here MWO peeps. You have changed my life.

[LilBit]

Ginger -- one year. Amazing, and so happy for you!!!

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[jane27]

Alcohol and Me: 10 Years Sober by Andy Mayer

'For 40 years I've planned booze into my diary, making sure it would be there before, after and usually during any significant event. Only very rarely have I excluded it.' Andy Mayer, The Guardian, 20.10.01.

When I wrote that paragraph I hadn't had alcohol for seven months and was mystified I was alive and feeling well. If you appreciate my bewilderment you're probably an alcoholic too. Failed attempts to stop me drinking destructively had led to the addiction unit at the Priory hospital, Roehampton. Pre-Priory I'd gone to any lengths to evade sobriety, convinced it would be as good for me as a month's waterboarding. Alcohol was my Siamese twin and I didn't want the separation job.
And so, with astonished disbelief, I wrote about my experience of alcoholism and how I'd got seven months clear of the compulsion to drink. I didn't think then that I'd make another ten years and I couldn't have guessed what those years might be like. Here's how it has been. If alcohol is causing you difficulties, read on. If you don't want to know more then your problem may be bigger than you think.

Full story: http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandst...lbeing-alcohol

[peppersnow]

That was inspiring and dead-on, as far as how much better life is without the fog. Thanks for sharing that.

[peppersnow]

And congratulations, Ginger!! Congratulations on living the first year of the rest of your life alcohol-free! :welldone:

[Byrdlady]

Ginger,
The Prize Patrol is being outclassed by the likes of Lil Bit (with her standing ovation) and Jane with her Huge One Year Coin (potentially chocolate-filled)! Alas, PP is reduced to giving her standard kudos.
:celebrate:
If you get out your magnifying glass, the banner DOES SAY ONE YEAR!
As always, thank you for your thoughtful post/speech! You have shown us that even being on perpetual vacation, it is possible to stay sober!!! It's a proud day for you and MWO, we are SO proud of you!

Byrdie (PP)

[Byrdlady]

Alcohol and Me: 10 Years Sober by Andy Mayer

'For 40 years I've planned booze into my diary, making sure it would be there before, after and usually during any significant event. Only very rarely have I excluded it.' Andy Mayer, The Guardian, 20.10.01.

When I wrote that paragraph I hadn't had alcohol for seven months and was mystified I was alive and feeling well. If you appreciate my bewilderment you're probably an alcoholic too. Failed attempts to stop me drinking destructively had led to the addiction unit at the Priory hospital, Roehampton. Pre-Priory I'd gone to any lengths to evade sobriety, convinced it would be as good for me as a month's waterboarding. Alcohol was my Siamese twin and I didn't want the separation job.
And so, with astonished disbelief, I wrote about my experience of alcoholism and how I'd got seven months clear of the compulsion to drink. I didn't think then that I'd make another ten years and I couldn't have guessed what those years might be like. Here's how it has been. If alcohol is causing you difficulties, read on. If you don't want to know more then your problem may be bigger than you think.

Full story: http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandst...lbeing-alcohol

Jane, that is such a good article that I've snatched it up and put it in my own personal Tool Box!! Thank you! B

[KENSHO]

Checking in. Everything is ok - had a relaxing weekend after perhaps the hardest week I can remember, work wise. In-laws were here last night, and wine was poured -- but not even offered to me. Helpful! Sounds like some amazing milestones here - big congrats to Ginger! Thanks for the article Jane. Have a good night everyone...