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    NS, Thank you for that post. I'm just so ashamed. I am such a much better person than this slob that I present to all of you.

    I hope everyone has a great day! I'm focused today.

    Is there a mobile app for this site? Otherwise staying connected on my Iphone is a pain unless I'm missing something.
    Last edited by Overit-still; May 12, 2015, 11:48 AM.
    The easy way to quit drinking?:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ow0lr63y4Mw

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      Thank you for your post NS. I went to an AA meeting today, and actually picked up a white chip. Humbling. It is interesting, in that today I feel like something has changed for me. I have been living in a constant state of anxiety for about 2 months, due to the huge threat to my marriage, but I think I have turned a corner maybe? I just can't live like that anymore. I am just going to focus on my quit. Period. Not sure I can keep this frame of mind, but I am hoping to. I certainly feel calmer at the moment.

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        Originally posted by Overit-still View Post
        Is there a mobile app for this site? Otherwise staying connected on my Iphone is a pain unless I'm missing something.
        Overit, You can logon to the regular site on your phone and go to the bottom left of the screen. You'll see a dropdown that says [Fluid] Morbid Blue. If you switch that to Mobile Styles -- Lightweight, it will change to a mobile version. I warn you though, it's pretty bad/hard to work with. I usually just use the regular site and enlarge it some. I've asked tech support about this but never heard back. I'd love a mobile version that would work on my phone! If anyone knows something different, please let us know.

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          Hi everyone. Once again thanks to all for helping me to get to day 56. I have been having a serious case of the blues lately. Sleeping way too much and low energy. One great thing is that though I have the big D right now at least I have little if any anxiety which is a huge plus. Like most I have regrets and family issues going on and I am pretty sure they add to the mix. This heavy feeling of depression is difficult to sit through. I always relied on drinking and exercise to cope with life's problems.. Now that drinking is not an option relying solely on exercise I don't believe is a balanced approach ( not that the two together were, they just worked or should I say got me through the day). Exercise surely is the door that will open my way out of this depression and allow me to find more enjoyment in life through other pursuits. I've always wanted everything fixed yesterday and alcohol let me delude myself into thinking life was O.K. Without the goggles it is truly a different story. ~ Guess this is just a part of the process and I am finding the only way right now to deal is with patience & compassion.
          Time to go for a ride and then walk the dog. My bike is always there waiting and the pup is pure love in disguise. For now I will concentrate on those two things and over time let this depression do what it will. ~~ AF & depressed is way better than hung and skewered with anxiety. I am thankful for another AF day.

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            Thanks Ginger999, away from the office I have no internet, except my phone
            The easy way to quit drinking?:

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ow0lr63y4Mw

            Comment


              Originally posted by Overit-still View Post
              Thanks Ginger999, away from the office I have no internet, except my phone
              Let me know what you think when you check out the mobile site.

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                Hi, All:

                Welcome back, Hanna. Grabbing hands with Overit and Kailey is great advice. I found that the social part NS is talking about was key for me. When I had drinking dreams in the early days most of the pain involved having to come here and admit to my friends and supporters that I had f'ed up. It takes a lot of courage to come here and ask for help - next time see if you can ask for help BEFORE you drink. We can be pretty persuasive (and there's always the Stella...)

                I am working from home today - that always seems to be an excuse to eat everything in the fridge. I guess I am lucky that I go to work most days...

                I have a lot of anxiety this past couple of days - I am not sure the origin. Maybe some stuff at work that is bad, maybe some exciting possibilities, maybe my son struggling, maybe my other son planning to be gone for the summer, maybe an ice cream sandwich for lunch... Whatever the reason, I am 100% sure alcohol would only make it worse. HyperN, I've never had actual depression, but I have found that exercise is very important to pull me out of the funks I get in. If I work out hard I sort of get a high now.

                My son who is in high school went to a party this weekend where, according to him, he was 33% of of the sober people. He played me a recording or conversation he had with a friend where he was saying how he liked to enjoy the great parts of life by focusing on everything that was going on around him - and he didn't think he could do that sober. Hallelujah! I hope that I am partly an example for him about how it could be...

                I am off to finish up my work. Hope you have a great massage and bisque, Lil. Hope you dig out from that mess, Matt. Hope you all have great, sober days.

                Pav

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                  TT, its warm here in Northeast USA. Funny but it helps me get through the winters here because its summer for you guys then. Ava'a posts about it being hot as all feck when it grim and my teeth are chattering totally lifts my spirits because it makes me think of summer. I think I recall you being from New Zealand- or maybe that's wrong but you're in a similar time zone as Ava. Both Australia and New Z are places I hope to visit one day. Millie* visited New Z. a few years ago and said that its the most beautiful place she's ever been. Here is what came up when I did a Google image search in Spring in New Zealand





                  * new nickname for MIL is Millie. I have plenty of nice things to say about her and don't want to restrict myself in posts by sticking her in a stereotype. Does that work for everyone? I'm not trying to push the envelope, but there really aren't a heck of a lot of people I interact with in person regularly- so I thought this might be a good fresh start for when I'm inclined to write about her (as a person/ not a MIL). Should I go with Sabrina instead? Can I get group feedback on name suggestions? Love u all

                  PS Ava, in the spirit of don't think about purple elephants I keep drifting off to thoughts of languorously lounging in your living room. With no socks on. lol


                  I meant to post this in Loamers. I don't know what happened. ?
                  Last edited by jane27; May 12, 2015, 07:08 PM.
                  AF since January 7, 2014 *Never, never, never give up. ~ Winston Churchill*

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                    yeah I live in a pretty beautiful place in New Zealand although not quite the scene you posted! Still I look out over the ocean.
                    Also here in paradise we still have our fair share of alkies and indeed alcohol abuse is a major problem - its not confined to any one sector either. Wine and beer is pretty cheap here and very easily available. We don't do in-house rehab much here and so look for conventional or alternative ways to quit.

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                      TT, I am not a big fan of rehap either. It is so costly, and I'm not even sure for what. I also know a handful of people who have been and fallen off the wagon (for the cost of a down payment on a new house). I am sure there are exceptions, but I don't consider it a realistic one for most people.
                      AF since January 7, 2014 *Never, never, never give up. ~ Winston Churchill*

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                        Private health insurance is still not the norm here because we have a state system (although thats changing). New Zealanders also have tended to be more reserved about opening up in talking or sharing type therapies. We have a state sponsored CADS (Community and AL Drug Service) which has helped a lot of people but its often dealing with those who are court ordered. There are some great GPs here and some are quietly OK about prescribing off-label. Also I don't think our regulations are as tight as in the US. But psychiatrists with AL expertise are as rare as hen's teeth. AA is of course widely available for those who want it - but because many places are small in population that can raise its own problems. The Salvation Army runs detox and AL support programs. There are a few extremely expensive rehab mansions for those who can pay $$$.
                        So I am grateful for MWO because it provided me support in my own way. I also used Antabuse at the start of my last quit and had the full support and monitoring of my GP for this. She had offered many other suggestions over the years including some of the medications folk here have tried such as Naltrexone and Topamax (she was aware of this and of Campral being used for AL relief several years ago). Not for me though.
                        I think that sums it up from this perspective!

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                          Originally posted by Pavati View Post
                          I am working from home today - that always seems to be an excuse to eat everything in the fridge. I guess I am lucky that I go to work most days...
                          Pav, when I was drinking, working from home was an excuse to drink any time during the day that I wanted to!

                          Sounds awesome to hear your son's views on drinking. I think my son feels similarly I just hope it lasts!!

                          Welcome back to those of you who recently realized they really truly need to stop this madness! So glad you are here - try to figure out what happened that made you drink again so you can help identify those triggers and avoid them next time. And of course get ready for just about anything because the smallest things can pop at any time. Ask people here what they did and how they did it - there is a lot of great advice here!

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                            Originally posted by frances View Post
                            Pav, when I was drinking, working from home was an excuse to drink any time during the day that I wanted to!
                            I second that one, Frances. I work from home full-time and, toward the end of my drinking, Mondays started becoming "part of the weekend." Scary! I didn't get over the hangover until Thursdays. Not good.

                            As for raiding the fridge, yes, that's an issue sometimes. I try to eat a series of small meals or snacks during the day so I never feel too hungry. Still, those Cheddar Bunnies look awfully good in their full box...
                            "If you fell down yesterday, get up today." -- H.G. Wells

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                              Checking in today with some awesome news! I interviewed for the open position at the animal shelter and they offered me the job on the spot! It's part time and the pay isn't very good, but it's such an amazing step in the right direction for *me* that I'm really not bothered by that. The two things I've loved since I was a kid are writing and working with animals; and now I'll be doing both even if just in small ways.

                              I seriously NEVER would have gotten to this point if I hadn't gotten sober. If anything, I'd be back at another job I hated, drinking at night to try to ignore the fact that I couldn't stand what I was doing. I may not know where things are going to go from here, but at least I know I'm headed in a better direction now. And while I'm nervous about starting a new job (of course!) I can go in with the confidence that I'm at my best.

                              Which brings me to BIG THANK YOU'S for the lovely 9 months pictures and congrats messages!!! You guys are amazing for noticing/keeping track and I really do value it so much. <3

                              Overit - I'm sorry you drank but I'm glad you came back here. I can totally understand not wanting to talk about it, but if it seems like it might help - we've got some really smart people in here who might be able to offer ideas. Either way, know we all support you and are rooting for you.

                              Hanna - We're all rooting for you, too and I'm glad to see you back in here.

                              There's definitely up days and down days for everyone; while I'm up today I was super down just a few days back. It's never fun to hit those days, and I feel like drinking made me worse at being patient. My first thought is to do something - anything! - to "fix" a bad mood or a bad day. But I'm hoping that each time I let myself work things through, I get that little bit more practice at it. And like others have said, even my worst day sober is so much better than where drinking ever got me.

                              Take care all and have a great AF MAE!
                              I am stubborn as a pig - but changing what I'm being stubborn about!

                              Cigarette Free On: 9/23/2014
                              AF on: 8/12/2014

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                                Lav

                                Wow.Good for you!!! So much good stuff. Well, day one is over, thank goodness. Night all

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