Newbies Nest

[Lavande]

Good evening Nesters,

Looks like a busy day in the nest - great

Matt, I've been wondering if you were affected by those nasty storms. Glad you are OK! Being sober through all that is a true blessing, don't you think?

LavB, congrats on your new job, yay!!!
You confidence will continue to grow, being AF rocks

Hanna & Overit, stay with us now, OK?

Greetings to all & sending wishes for a safe night in the nest for all!
Looks like I don't have to put Stella on a bus to make any house calls - nice!

Lav

[available]

Morning nest

Glad to see nn so busy.

Hyper, each day when we are early sober is different. Take each day as it comes and weather it, our emotions even out over time and now for me, in my 2nd year sober, i am focusing on getting that on an even keel. One day at a time.

Lavb, congratulations on 9 months sober and a new job to boot. Isnt life wonderful without al. I never thought i would hear myself say that let alone type it out for everyone to see.

Well i had a f##ked day yesterday. I spoke to my 2 sons (bright little buttons they are) that when i went back to work that after 5pm no one was to be in the house except their gf's. I even spoke to my sons friend who thinks he lives here that i am very stressed with
Robert and work and travel each day and i need my home to walk into and for it to be just us. He totally agreed, whereupon on Monday night at 8.30pm he was in the neighbourhood and thought he would pop in and lo and behold on Tuesday when i got home after 5pm he was there. Well i screamed like a wild woman and said that i just did not get which part of the conversation we had that he didnt understand. I stood and just ached for al, it was like a wave of pure want. I thought to myself "why not, no one respects me, no one will care, if they dont give a feck then i sure dont". i put the kettle on, went to the fridge and there was a bottle of wine that mum left. I slammed the fridge and thought "feck you too wine, you wont win either". Made my coffee and literally ran to my laptop to post on loamers about how i felt. (lots more expletives in that rant). It honestly scared me to have such a huge urge to drink after a year and a half. Luckily i know the drill, i have never left mwo thinking i was fine and i knew that someone would respond to my post (thanks TT). I am fine now but there is no way in hell that i will leave mwo thinking i dont need the love and support of here.

My advice to the newbies, stay on here, post, read, post and read. I easily could have posted day 1 today if not for here. It takes so much dedication and determination to win against al. As NS said as soon as someone says they need a break, it sets off alarm bells for us oldies but nothing really we can say or do will change anyones mind if al has its way.

Take care

[Matt M.]

☝☝⤴⤴That is the definition of Staying Hard FFS!

Strong work Linda, sorry you had a rough evening and Thank's so much for sharing that story! <3

[Lavande]

Good morning Nesters, happy Hump day to all

I plan to enjoy a couple days of cooler weather, it's been summer-like hot the past few days. I still need to get some veggie seeds planted in my garden.

Ava, my first thought after reading your post was 'damn, I hate being ignored too' especially when I've worked so hard!!!
It's one thing when your kids are young & not listening but the adult kids - that's something completely different. I would have blown my stack too! I'm very happy you thought your way thru that & didn't reach for a drink. It wouldn't have resolved the situation & left you feeling like crap. You have come a long way & I'm proud of you :hug:

Matt, I suppose you've heard of the train derailment in Philly last night, a very sad situation. We sat here listening to PFD radio, it was chilling I hope you get a break from those nasty storms now!

Wishing everyone a great AF Wednesday!

Lav

[Byrdlady]

Good Morning, fellow Nesters.
Lav, it looks like just us chickens here this morning! Matt, great to see you! Ava, always a pleasure!!

Yes, life can sure throw some dookie our way. Getting sober has taught me better coping skills, in every area really. I no longer engage in the self destructive pattern I was in. Pushing through the issues and coming out the other side is a great feeling. Going back to a drink is a path to nowhere.

As I was getting ready this morning, there was a stop smoking commercial on...the guy said, 'I quit a lot, and I started back a lot, I got nowhere.' I was in this cycle for more years than I care to admit with AL. I know there is always some reason to say Feck It All! But that is the ONE THING we must fight with all we've got. Like the biblical story, when they looked back they became pillars of salt, AL is sort of like that, only it's a much slower and brutal demise. (pass me the salt!) The reason MWO worked for me is that I became accountable. I was part of a community that actually CARED if I made it or not. Without this accountability, I would have wandered off and eventually conformed to what most all of my peers are doing. Getting sober is not easy, and STAYING sober is not easy....it does take a village. Leaving AL behind makes the Top 10 list of Hardest Things I've Ever Done, but I tell you, it has the greatest rewards, too. Hang in there....NO MATTER WHAT....nothing is worse than going BACK to AL. Byrdie

[LilBit]

Morning, guys. Yes, it's just the chickens and one little yellow bird, here.

Great post, Byrdie, and not just for being the first time I've seen the term, "dookie" used in a sentence in quite some time. Seriously, I really appreciate the accountability factor you mentioned. What's great is that it's based on fellow sufferers who understand and therefore, don't judge. We've all had to "quit our quitting."

It's cool and beautiful here in San Fran today. I finished my work assignment early, which means I can have a catchup day for reading, skating, working out, laundry, etc. I also need to launder the dog bed. Lav, how do dogs get SO stinky?

[LavenderBlue]

Good morning Nest!

Thought I'd better get on here early; I'm going to end up pretty busy tonight.

I've been re-reading some of the books I picked up during my first couple weeks of quitting, they're mostly memoirs of others who have quit. Between that and MWO I've found myself really thinking about how drinking ruins your capability to deal with tough things. I got so used to "bad thing happened, time to drink" that I'm having to relearn and practice other coping skills. It helps me though, to remember that it's a process, which means I *will* get better at it with time and with practice. Retraining my brain takes time, but it's definitely a lie from AL that it's the only or best way to deal with things. I get to relearn fun things too, though; I'm still finding out what I really enjoy doing now that drinking is off the table. That's taking time, too, but it's so rewarding.

I remember WAY back before it really seemed like I had a drinking problem, a guy I dated complained that I didn't really have any hobbies. It pissed me off at the time since I thought it was just that most of my hobbies (like reading) just aren't big exciting social ones, so who was he to judge?! But I'm realizing that even then, my hobbies were "drinking and [thing]" which means that yeah...most of my hobbies were things I could do while drinking and I probably wasn't much fun because of that.

I also got reminded (see, I guess there's a reason I'm reading things again) that even way back when I started drinking, I always had thoughts about whether or not there was "enough." Where other friends would perhaps bring a flask to an event, I'd bring a flask AND keep a bottle in my trunk; that sort of thing. I think that's probably one of the reasons I'm trying so hard to make this quit stick; even back before my drinking was a "problem" it still was something that took my focus away from other things. Before I felt like I needed more, I always was wanting more even if "just in case."

Lav - Thanks and I hope so! My confidence took a huge hit right as my drinking was at its worst, and of course NOW I can see that the drinking made that even worse. I've been getting in my own way to much the last five years or longer, I know that if my confidence keeps getting better I'll end up in a much better place.

Hanna - Well done making it through Day One, the first few days especially are such buggers. And thanks, a part of me isn't actually sure how to process things that are going on - I spent so many years so *SURE* that I was completely stuck and nothing would ever get any better. Not that life is perfect now, 'cause it definitely isn't; just any of these steps forward are things I literally thought were impossible for so long. Hang in there and keep posting!

Ava - That is SO frustrating and I'm so very happy you came here instead of taking that drink. you've worked so hard to get where you are! Plus, it's another reminder that there's always another option somewhere, even if just to ask for help. So thank you for telling us about that, too!

LilBit - Yes, I know it makes a big difference to me not just to be accountable, but to people who *get* it. It can be really hard to focus on moving forward instead of focusing on all the time I've lost, and everyone here understands that and isn't about to give me a hard time about things in my past that I can't change. None of us would be here if we hadn't had trouble quitting, I don't think anyone joins an online group to do something that's easy for them to do on their own!

[Ginger999]

I'm here! Lurking as usual. Raining here and we sure need it! Just cancelled a trip we had planned for this weekend. Hubby's shoulder is giving him some trouble so looks like we will stay home and lay low. Love reading your thread! You guys rock.

[Kailey]

Good morning! I'm going to take the advice that No Sugar has been giving me for years, and commit to posting daily (you didn't think I was listening, did you?) I've been at this for a long time and honestly part of me is very proud of how far I've come.

I broken what was a very nasty daily drinking habit and now seem to be on the perpetual quit. I'll go a week, two weeks, a month, or my longest stretch 69 days, and then I'll fall down for a few days but get right back on track in a day or two. I've got to be honest though, the days that I do drink I still go for it! No single glass of wine or two for me!

As much as I appreciate the journey I'm on I am ready to finally achieve the goal of not drinking at all. I don't know why I've resisted the idea of posting, but I have a sneaking suspicion it has something to do with giving myself and out. So here I go.

Hana and Overit, looks like we're all ready to finally get this done. Let's stick together and finally grab that happiness we deserve!

[Matt M.]

More heavy rain moving my way, with flood warnings imminent. A year ago this part of the USA was parched, lakes drying up, water restrictions. I believe it is all a well orchesrated cycle by the Man above.

Lav- I was listening to a Philadelphia scanner as well, sad and unfortunate for all involved. I was a on an amtrak train derailment years ago, that fortunately was not close to the casualty magnitude of this one, but i can say it was awe inspiring and very overwhelming and chaotic.

Lav B- Loved your lasy post, as usual. Everything you said me To!...

Hanna, kailey, overit- I sincerely hope this is the last quit. Bottle up these gut wrenching emotions that come with another Day 1, hold them close and whatever you do don't fucking forget them. We are not promised another day on this earth, let's make each day a sober one. .

Byrd -I Too am glad you got to see me , the pleasure is all yours.

Stay Hard freaks!

[Overit-still]

Good morning Nesters. Another day in the nest. Just checking in, strapped in tight so I don't fall out today.

[jane27]

Hi Nesters,

I'm in a rut and feeling a little down. I know what I need to do- make an effort, fake it till I make it, crane myself away from the computer and get outside, exercise- break the pattern. Wishing everyone a great day. xo

[LostAndFound]

Hello friends.

Today is my 13th day sober. The last 4 days have been the hardest for me so far - much harder than the previous 9. I've been feeling physically great, but I very nearly slipped-up last night. I went to the grocery store after going to the gym to pick up some bread, eggs, cheese and milk for breakfast.

On the drive there, I was tussling with the idea of buying and drinking a single beer. By the time I arrived at the store, I had mentally prepared myself to do it. Just one. No big deal. I could drink it before I got home - there would be no consequences.

I picked up a basket, located bread. Added bread to basket. Located milk, eggs and cheese. Loaded basket. Headed to the beer aisle.

As I stood at the end of the beer aisle, I glanced down the aisle and noticed a guy probably in his mid 40's holding a large bottle of cheap wine in one hand and picking up a half case of beer with the other. He was dressed loosely and had a scruffy face full of three-day-old stubble. I stood frozen for a moment.

He headed towards me and raised his head. His eyes caught mine and I saw everything I needed to know in just a split second.

This man was ME just two short weeks ago.

Who did I think I was fooling all this time?? And what the hell was I doing in the f***ing beer aisle at 10pm at night?? That's NOT me anymore. I want BETTER than that. I AM better than that.

I came to my senses, made a bee-line for the checkout and settled up. I headed back to my car, my mind racing at what had just happened. As I went to start up the car, a huge wave of overwhelming emotion hit me and I broke down uncontrollably in tears. For a good two or three minutes, I sat with hands to my face, bawling my eyes out at the wheel of my car in the supermarket parking lot.

I wasn't sad. Just very grateful. Immensely grateful.

LostAndFound

[LostAndFound]

Hi Nesters,

I'm in a rut and feeling a little down. I know what I need to do- make an effort, fake it till I make it, crane myself away from the computer and get outside, exercise- break the pattern. Wishing everyone a great day. xo

Hang in there Jane! At least it's not winter any longer! Which part of the country are you from? I'm in northern New England. Being outside is so refreshing this time of year. I'm honestly a little worried about the winter and how it will affect my mood, but for now, I'm just enjoying the sun and fresh air as much as I can!

LostAndFound

[Byrdlady]

Lost and Found, so good to see you posting here in the nest! At Day 13, something clicked in my head and I KNEW I could do this, I went back and found my post from that day back in 2011....

OriginallyPosted by Byrdlady
Day13. Yesterday was EASY!!!! I'm so happy to report, that hubs was out of townand I had the perfect opportunity to have myself a high old time....but Ididn't! The voices weren't as loud or as often, so day 13 was the day that Ithink I turned the corner. I feel good! I certainly haven't lost any weight...Iam rewarding myself by saying, look, you can have anything in the world youwant, except AL...now I need to reel myself in a bit and stop eating everythingin sight. Finally finished off the last of the Christmas cookies I had in thefreezer. For the first time in years, I feel like I'm getting control of mylife, and it feels really good! ODAT! I could NOT have done it without thissite.