Newbies Nest

[Pavati]

Hi, Nest:

I am glad the nest has been busy. I have, too. I work at a school and there is so much end of the year stuff!

Welcome, Stronger. Tell us about yourself. You've found a great place to get and stay sober...

Lost - Love that description of the beer aisle. I recognize myself in the mom at the grocery store with the gallon of milk, cheese, tortillas and *oh* I guess I am out of vodka, and wouldn't a drink be fun tonight?! Those grocery baskets say a lot with just a few items...

Pauly - glad you're back. I think I have felt a bit what you are describing on my last weekend - full body anxiety. It was so awful I can't even imagine going back there. Stick close!

Matt - send some of that rain over here to CA!

Lil - Your list was priceless.

Kailey, good to see you.

Hi, Rahul!

Hi to everyone else - sorry I can't answer you all, but I read. Stay strong!

Pav

[Hanna]

Well...I have been on pins and needles for almost 2 months about my marriage. I was afraid my husband was finished with us just waiting for my son to get home and settled to tell me for sure. My son got home from college last weekend, had his big engineering exam yesterday, and last night my husband told me we were done. I am devastated. I made some big decisions in the past few hours. I am going to find out about intensive outpatient treatment for drinking. I am going to take the $12,000 my mom just gave us as part of her inheritance money ( long story, but basically my sister needed money want to give to her and not me ) and take it out of the savings account and open a new account. I will use what ever I need out of that for whatever treatment I get. I guess the house will go up for sale. I don't know who's going to live where in the meantime.
I guess my life is starting over?

It is 4 o'clock in the morning and I am on here. I could really use a shoulder to cry on. So here I sit with coffee and...drumroll...a pack of cigarettes. Life has taken me down hard.

[available]

Hi Hanna, sorry to hear about your situation with hubs but at least you have a good plan in order. I know the devastation, my ex had an affair on me and i had no bloody idea but at the end of the day and after a nervous breakdown to boot, i am grateful he left me. I did spiral out of control with my drinking but thank god after counselling and finding mwo i took control of my life and you can too. I found the hardest aspect was being alone but time heals all wounds, which probably doesnt help at the moment.

We are here for you to vent and understand. Al solves nothing as we know, so keep up the coffee and the fags!

Thinking of you Hanna

[Lavande]

Good morning Nesters,

Hanna, I am sorry about your news but I know you will be OK :hug:
My husband has done something seriously crazy things over the years & hurt me badly. We were recently apart for 4 years, it was all about him, his problem. Being alone at that time turned out to be a very good thing for me. I was able to focus on me & my quit & became much stronger. I know you can & will do the same. Remember that we are here to support you.

Greetings Ava, Pav, LostAndFound & everyone. Wishing everyone a nice AF day ahead!
I was just summoned to watch my grandsons today, one being home from school & sock, ugh.

Lav

[mama]

Good Morning All,

I'm back and starting at Day 1 again. I really need to find a way to get this under control.

[LilBit]

Hanna, thinking of you. I'm so sorry you're going through this, but you're not alone. Plenty of shoulders here, including mine. :love:

Surgery is today. I am bear-grouchy from missing my morning coffee but so glad I'm the very first patient on the schedule. If all goes well, I'll be on my way back home by 10:30 this morning. Trying to imagine how I would have gotten through this ordeal in my drinking days, and I can't even fathom it. I am so grateful. Please say a little prayer for me that all goes well?

[LilBit]

Mama, you can do this!

[frances]

LilBit you are in my prayers for a successful surgery and recovery!!

[Matt M.]

Good morning
Enjoyed my day of nothing yesterday, although I quickly get restless. I'm getting much better at relaxing but for now it's best I keep busy.

Stronger- We were all new here at one point, don't be shy and tell us about yourself, we don't bite, not hard anyway...

Hanna- Seperation and or Divorce is a huge stressor, I hope you stay close and post often. If you can stay the course a pull through this difficult time SOBER, you will look back and know you did the best you could during difficult time. This will in turn boost your confidence and mind set, in believing you can make it through bad times without our broken crutch that we love to lean on. If you believe Al played a part in the fall of your marraige, don't let it take another thing important from you. I'm pulling for you!

Ava- I made an observation this morning you were on the forum last night (for us in the USA) answering people as they cried for help. That's awesome, just sayin..

Lav- I guess your right we are always on duty, as are Nurses, and public servants in general.
Your son sounds like a shit magnet as am I. I have a knack of driving up on accidents or being places were people fall out.
Being that I also work for the small department where I live, i eapecially feel as if I'm never off, which I'm OK with.

Pav~ For you I would carry water on my back to help you. .I have seen the drought conditions in your area, hard to fathom we were right there just a few months ago...

Stay hard my friends!

[paulywogg]

Will be thinking of you Lilbit Hanna, I've been following your story from afar these past couple of months and I'm not surprised by the outcome, the way he was acting and stuff, but screw him!you have a new life ahead of you,the best revenge is living a happy full life and you will,no more living in limbo waiting for him to make the decision, I know you're upset right now, but you'll be ok

[Byrdlady]

Morning, Nesters!
I REALLY enjoyed my day off, too! I found a killer pair of red shoes...nothing perks a girl up like a great pair of kicks. They are not shiny like yours, Pav...but they are going to be MY Ruby Slippers. Here's hoping some magic happens when I wear them (like not getting a blister!!)

LilBit, my thoughts and prayers are with your this morning. We are all hoping for the very best outcome!!

Hanna...on the night of Jan 19, 2011, I was in the very same situation. My husband packed a bag and left. I was ANGRY and HURT!!! My anger was directed at all the wrong things, tho. It should have been directed at AL. AL was the problem. I made a vow never to buy or drink it again, and I haven't. NOT. ONE. DROP. My choices were few, I could give up AL and HOPE hubs would take me back, or I could succumb to this horrible disease. I fought back, and you can, too. I am so glad you are seeking help and pulling out all the stops on this one, YES, it's THAT important! We are pulling for you.

Ava, you are awesome....you should have your own talk show. I'll get a petition started!!

Lav, greatness and generosity must run in the genes up there....you and your kids/g-kids are awesome. Even the chickens are cool!

Happy Friday, everyone! It's just another day! The only thing we deserve is to feel like humans tomorrow, so stay the course! You will never regret a day you spent sober! XO, Byrdie

[jane27]

Hanna, thinking of you. I'm so sorry you're going through this, but you're not alone. Plenty of shoulders here, including mine. :love:

Surgery is today. I am bear-grouchy from missing my morning coffee but so glad I'm the very first patient on the schedule. If all goes well, I'll be on my way back home by 10:30 this morning. Trying to imagine how I would have gotten through this ordeal in my drinking days, and I can't even fathom it. I am so grateful. Please say a little prayer for me that all goes well?

LilBit, Thinking of you!

[LavenderBlue]

Good morning, all! It's going to be a fun day for me; I need to finish editing a thing for the website, my dog goes in to get a bath (from the lady who raised him as a puppy, it's going to be so nice for all of us! ) and while he gets his bath *I* get to fill out paperwork for the job at the animal shelter. That's one of the "wow" thing about getting the job - I'd scheduled the bath for the dog a couple months ago, go figure!

I was nervous going in to this week; I had a lot of things going on that tend to stress me a LOT. The doctor stuff, the interviewing stuff, plus I was in charge of hosting the podcast this week. I definitely had drinking thoughts a few times - but I came here, or I read one of my books that reminds me why I quit, or I made some tea, or I got on the exercise bike, or I talked to a friend. I think in a lot of cases it was less that I honestly wanted a drink, and more that it's just still my go-to for uncomfortable feelings. When all else fails, I tell myself to just try it sober "this time" - it's a pretty good trick for my brain, since then if I've done it sober once I can tell myself, "You've done this before, you know you can do it sober."

I expect it does also help that after we talked, my doctor did really want me back on something non-addictive for my depression/anxiety. I know folks were worried how that might go, but he's been treating me for those since before I was drinking; he's got a good idea of what he can prescribe that won't be too heavy or have side effects for me. We avoided the short term ones like Xanax since I don't trust myself with those, and have me back on Wellbutrin since that started doing well for me before I dropped it. I don't want anyone to think their advice wasn't appreciated - it was! - I just wanted to be honest about where I'm at. I'm still nervous about things, but I'm not *panicking* so much, which makes it a lot less difficult to think through to healthy and sober alternatives. It's definitely still not comfortable to feel some of the things, but not as overwhelming as it was. (I also don't want anyone to think things like that are a magic fix; even if your doctor finds one that's good for you - and that can take years, it did for me - it's still WORK, I can promise you that!) And then, of course, I needed some time sober before I was even in a place where I could take anything - it wouldn't have helped while I was drinking AND it would have been super unsafe to drink while taking them.

LostAndFound - Oh well done on 14 days, that's marvelous! I love that feeling of rediscovering myself, hold on to that and know it gets even better as you keep going!

Ava - Mine was a fasting blood test too, and wow you saying that reminded me of last time I was supposed to take one of those. I decided there was absolutely no way I could do it - I couldn't go long enough without drinking! Not just the "really long time" to get it all out of my system, but even just the 12 or so hours right before. I don't remember now if I still went in or not, I think I remember telling the doctor that I was sure my previous test had been high because I drank soda right before I came in and then never went back. :/ Feels MUCH better to be able to just do it and get it done.

Stronger Me - Hello, and welcome! The Next moves pretty fast sometimes, and slow other times but there's so many helpful folks with good advice. Stick close and if I could do it, I'm sure you can!

Lav - Wow, what a story; I'm so glad your son was there, good for him!

Pauly - I'm glad to see you back!

Hanna - I'm so sorry, and so proud of you for staying committed to a new life that you seriously deserve. All of the love and support your way, we're all here for you!

Mama - Glad you're back, too - stick close and I know you can make this the quit that sticks!

LilBit - Definitely prayers and love your way, hoping all goes smoothly and is over with soon!

Ok, I need to get going and get some things done, here. Good thoughts out to everyone and hope you have a great, AF MAE!

[Overit-still]

Hanna & Lil Bit, I PM you

[Overit-still]

OK, I'm back. Just some house keeping duties there.

I'm here, I'm hanging in, wondering about my AF future, but it's another sober day and for that I'm grateful.

Good morning to everyone and I hope the newbies stick around.

Pauly-I love to see you hanging around the nest.

Have a great day everyone!