Newbies Nest

[Hanna]

Good morning Nesters

Thanks again for being supportive. and LilBit, I am so glad all went ok with surgery, and feeling very positive all is going to be ok with you. So sorry I have been so wrapped up in my own crap not to respond to you earlier.

In some ways, I think it is almost easier now, knowing that this marriage is ending, then it has been the past 2 months waiting in fear. I am sad beyond belief and scared s**tless, but actually feel better able to focus on my quit than before. I am taking on AA full throttle, and using this site, your support, the toolbox, etc., to deal with this. I have now been completely open to my family, including my children, my parents, and my sister (who I have already been sharing with). They are all supportive.

I went to an AA meeting yesterday morning. It was an "open" meeting, so that anyone could come. I sat down next to a woman, and we started to talk. Low and behold, she was there next to her husband, who was the one who comes to meetings as an alcoholic. It made me very sad that I cannot have my loving husband there with me in this fight as well. But, I am ready. I had lunch with 3 of the woman who have been sober for a long while after the meeting. I spoke with another woman, and we are going to go together tonight to a meeting at 7:30, which will help keep me accountable today.

I can't look much past today, as it is overwhelming to me. So much to do, so much to figure out.

Well, good news. I actually slept a full night last night. First one in about 2 months. Being physically exhausted on top of everything else has been very hard. But although still very tired, I feel a little better after a full nights sleep.

Wishing you all a great day. Can not WAIT to be able to come on here and announce 30 days!!! I plan to get there, and beyond.

[actiongirl46]

Hi all - I just wanted to thank Lav for that post. I really needed that today.

[Overit-still]

Here

[LilBit]

Happy Monday!

Thinking back, Mondays used to be wasted days for me, more often than not. I'd schlump out of bed hungover, drag myself to a kitchen piled with dishes and sometimes have half a beer while making coffee, just to be able to function. I'd argue with myself about whether I was sober enough to pull off a morning skate session. The answer was almost always, "No." Then, even with work assignments waiting in my inbox, I'd spend the morning sitting there, sweating, re-watching TV programs or movies and eating unhealthy food in an attempt to get my body feeling normal again. Sometimes, by 8 am, the big AL craving beast would come knocking, whispering that I still had half a bottle of wine left. "Might as well polish it off. It will make you feel so much better." I'd succumb and find myself giddy by 9 am and then horrified, wasted, battling even bigger cravings etc. by 10. Sometimes, I'd pass out and nap, and then awaken in horror when I realized it was nearly 4-5 pm and I hadn't showered or done any work. Even worse, I'd scramble to get things "in shape" and then reward myself with another drinking session, thus ensuring that Tuesdays would start off the same way. Arrggh!

Even the worst sober Monday is better than all that! Do you agree? Or am I the only one who did fruit-bat crazy %#* like that?

[Dutch1988]

Hey all,

Gonna start posting on here again daily to the best of my ability. I think subconsciously because I am farther along in my quit I stopped thinking come on guy, you should be capable of not terrorizing everyone else with the problems in your head by now but that just ain't true. Still doing better but I hear that voice in the back of my head that BL talks about all the time, the one that says you have made it this far, so why not indulge, you obviously aren't addicted, I mean over 2 months, alcoholics don't do that. Thankfully I have read on here and learned the tools to know better.

Went to a wedding on Saturday, second one since I quit. The hard part this time was I stopped drinking soda as well. So I am basically drinking water while everyone else was enjoying something else. On the flip side I definitely was not the only person not drinking, so that was a nice thing to notice, took some stress off. Plus with the wife being pregnant, I think everyone just assumed I was not drinking because she wasn't, and luckily no one knew me at the table enough to know my wife never drinks haha. The funny thing about AL is I still enjoyed the benefits of it even though I was not drinking. The people at my table had a few, became more relaxed, were already quite social to begin with so we have a great time with them. The last wedding we were the youngest folks at the table, this time having a kid and another on the way made feel like we were the oldest. Still, another AL event I made it through free and clear. The next wedding I am worried about is my best friends, on July 2nd, and his bachelor party in June, which I have not decided if I am going to skip out on but who knows. Vegas just doesn't sound appetizing without AL.

[actiongirl46]

Lil Bit, I'm having exactly that Monday you describe (minus AL). Called in sick and not doing any work. Can't seem to accomplish anything today. UGH.

Next Monday will be different.

[LilBit]

Actiongirl, your key words were "minus AL." What a world of difference. You've got this!

[LostAndFound]

Happy Monday friends!

I had a breakthrough of a weekend!! I kept really busy with my beautiful wife and we got sooo much done. I did more yard work this weekend than I've done in 10 years TOTAL!! In addition to leaf cleanup, mowing, mulching, weeding etc. we built four 4'x8' cedar raised beds and planted them all with tomatoes, peppers, cukes, squash, beans, lettuce, spinach, radish, onions.... and more! More than I can even remember, lol. You can imagine how much compost and topsoil we had to haul for that, and I don't even own a truck. I think it was 8 or 9 trips to Lowe's.

I did a tour of the lawn, the flower beds, the raised beds this morning.... and I was in disbelief we did so much and that I was part of it... WOW!! I took a moment to feel unashamedly and immensely proud of myself! :happy2: :happy2: :happy2:. It all looks fantastic!

Anyway - in addition to having an amazingly productive weekend, the real breakthrough is that not once (NOT ONCE) this weekend did I even THINK about having a drink. The closest I came to it was while grocery shopping Saturday evening, passing that familiar beer & wine aisle, but it didn't phase me ONE BIT - it didn't even cross my mind to buy anything!! I just passed it and said to myself "I don't drink anymore" (I read that "technique" on here last week from one of you wonderful MWO people - thank you :happy2

This time last year I was drinking all weekend, getting more and more depressed about all the work I should have been doing, then maybe step outside for 30 minutes and have a half-ass attempt at mowing half the lawn before heading back in for another bottle of wine.

Oh, and despite eating like a sumo-wrestler the last 2-3 weeks, I've lost 2lbs already!

Feeling so good right now, I can hardly put it in words!!

LostAndFound

[LostAndFound]

Well done Dutch1988! I've been drinking seltzer water with fresh lemon & lime by the gallon. I find it much more fulfilling and refreshing than plain water. I have yet to attend a social event since I stopped drinking, but that will be my beverage of choice when I do.

[paulywogg]

Hey all, Lilbit, your drinking habit sounded like me to a capital T!!thought I was the only weirdo that used to drink a beer breakfast to "feel better" yuck!yes,ANY sober, shitty Monday is better without that nonsense! Dutch, I think I could survive a wedding without booze, but no soda!!! I'd die, I'd be worried about coming to Vegas too,unfortunately this city is all about alcohol,it's in your face EEVERYWHERE, grocery, gas stations, drug store, restaurants, of course the casinos, shoot,you can buy a bottle of beer at Chipotle! I think it's weird, but it is what it is I guess, just think hard if you feel like you can still have a good time with your friends sober then you should be ok,can't deny living life, but if you feel like you might be edgy and wobbly, it might make it difficult to be in this environment, LAFLAF,you're doing a great job hope everyone is having a nice day

[paulywogg]

Hey all, Lilbit, your drinking habit sounded like me to a capital T!!thought I was the only weirdo that used to drink a beer breakfast to "feel better" yuck!yes,ANY sober, shitty Monday is better without that nonsense! Dutch, I think I could survive a wedding without booze, but no soda!!! I'd die, I'd be worried about coming to Vegas too,unfortunately this city is all about alcohol,it's in your face EEVERYWHERE, grocery, gas stations, drug store, restaurants, of course the casinos, shoot,you can buy a bottle of beer at Chipotle! I think it's weird, but it is what it is I guess, just think hard if you feel like you can still have a good time with your friends sober then you should be ok,can't deny living life, but if you feel like you might be edgy and wobbly, it might make it difficult to be in this environment, LAF,you're doing a great job hope everyone is having a nice day

[paulywogg]

Oops

[actiongirl46]

Ha ha PW - not sure how you did that!

LilBit - I've never been a day drinker so really my bewitching time is just starting . . . I feel so lousy today that I'm not that worried its tomorrow. ANYWAY, as Lav said, I need to just worry about today.

[paulywogg]

I wasn't a day drinker at first either AG,then one day a few years into my drinking career we had a party and I was shakily cleaning up the mess and I found a full beer,drank it and magically I wasn't shaking anymore, hair of the dog became my norm,before that, drinking before the sun went down was unheard of

[Dutch1988]

So just came back from our 12 week ultrasound, my wife miscarried. Going back tomorrow to do the D&C, just writing it on here so you all know if I dissappear that I decided #%^* it. Lowest I have felt in a longtime and a perfect reaso to drink. Bleh