Newbies Nest

[LostAndFound]

Guys, I just got a call from the surgeon and it's good news!! https://www.mywayout.org/community/sh...=1#post1613458

WOO HOOO, that is AWESOME news!!!! You must be so RELIEVED!!

LostAndFound

[Overit-still]

Dutch and Pav, I can't even imagine. Hi Mama!

Something is clicking today, woke happy, and feeling motivated.

Have a great day!

[abcowboy]

Hi everyone, Pav and Dutch, sorry to hear the news, rest assured that my thoughts and prayers are with you and yours. May God send an angel to watch over you all. And LilBit, fantastic news! So happy for you!

I posted this in the Umpteenth Quit thread and thought it might be of some value here as well, hope y'all don't mind.

I read this somewhere, I don't remember where, but it reminded me of a recovering alcoholic thinking he's cured.

"You don't have to jump off the cliff to know what's going to happen when you hit the bottom."

Take a look at the bottom. It's way down there. There is no way you can survive the fall. You might even bounce off the side of the mountain as you drop. You are going to be a crumpled up, bloody mess laying there either dead or paralyzed or painfully mangled. And it all begins with that first leap, then you are helplessly falling.

And it all begins with that first drink. So take a good long look at the bottom. Just because you haven't wrecked your car, or lost your liver, or ruined your marriage, or lost your child, or become bankrupt, or lost your job, or killed someone, or gone to jail, or killed yourself, doesn't mean it won't happen. It will happen if you take that leap.

If you feel like picking up the first one, look at the bottom. Remember some of the awful things you did and think about some of the awful things you have heard others do. And the awful things people said about you when you were drunk. You don't want to go there. Take a deep breath and let someone know why you are feeling like drinking. Don't be ashamed of having a craving. Don't let your disease stop you from reaching out for help. Good for you all for always coming back, it really means you want to find your way out!

[Lavande]

Good afternoon Nesters,

Got all my chores out of the way. Just waiting for my girls to arrive to sped the night then we'll be out of here early in the morning for a little R&R.

Lil, I am so happy about your news, couldn't be better

Pav, goodness! I hope you get some clear information from the specialists, enough to give you both some hope & strength. We will all be here for you :hug:

KHerriot, CONGRATS on your 30 AF days, yay!!!

Overit, glad you are happy!

Mama, what's going on? Talk to us about your plan.

Wishing everyone a great AF evening & safe night in the nest. Not sure when I'll be posting over the next few days but I will be thinking of everyone from the beach

Lav

[Dutch1988]

Well I'm still here. Just got back from the D&C and my wife is still out of it. The only thing she keeps saying is the babies gone, and she's sorry for losing it(which is like twisting the knife in my chest). The only thing we can figure is she had a X-ray on her hip due to a fall before we knew she was pregnant. We did a test and it came back negative, so we did the X-rays and then low and behold a week later we found out she actually was. So who knows, that, or just a freak accident/bad luck/fate/who knows. We had the name picked out if we had another girl, already moved all the baby stuff out of the garage into our spare bedroom, he'll I just called back a carpet place to confirm new floors because I didn't want the new little one drawing on this old ass carpet. Tough times.

Alcohol is very tempting right now. I will be honest, and if this ticks you off don't reply, but this is my wife's 4th pregnancy. The first two we were young and dumb, back in college, and she just didn't think we needed BC and I was just plumb retarded I guess. Either way, both experiences had a profound effect on me, and my heart still hurts to this day. I thought the miscarriage would hurt less because it wasn't like it was a choice, we didn't know she was pregnant when she was x rayed, we didn't choose for it to happen. Regardless, the hurt is just as bad, if not worse because we were trying to have one and it was so far along. i swear I was just thinking things were going too well.

[Overit-still]

Good to hear from you Dutch. Hang in there. Not much else I can contribute.

[NoSugar]

Hey, Dutch. It seems normal to me for alcohol to be tempting right now. You're going through a sad and painful experience. Thankfully, all the work you've done the last 73 days prepared you to deal with life without resorting to that familiar, fast, easy, but temporary escape. You're hurting already - please don't make it worse by drinking.

I'm very sorry for your family's loss. NS

[frances]

So sorry for all you and your wife are going through Dutch. I can see how you might feel like saying f it but drinking will only make you feel worse in the long run. It won't make the pain go away and will bring back problems that you were trying to get away from. Keep talking and stay close especially if you feel like drinking.

[Londoner]

Just checking in - giving this another go. I have distanced myself from so many people, including myself.

I do not know who I really am and I am scared of what I am becoming.

I feel counting the days on here is just putting more pressure on the next relapse. So, I may pop my head in on here again but I do not have much faith in myself - whoever that is - anymore. I have learned that each successive fail hurts myself more and more and more.

[LilBit]

Welcome Londoner. Maybe just forget about counting days and simply hang here with us for a while? You can post about other things and have some interaction. We're a motley crew but at least you don't have to be isolated.

Dutch, I hear the heartbreak in your post. I am so sorry. Like NS said, it's normal for AL to be tempting now because it's been your normal coping mechanism. But, think about what a badass you'll be if -- even this awful situation -- you're able to say, "F-you, AL! I don't care what the circumstances are. I'm not giving in." Then you'll know just how strong you really are.

Pav, I am thinking of you and right there with you. I don't just "imagine" how you feel right now. I really know. The enormity of the situation, with all its unknowns seems to take over and color everything in the first few days. But there is hope. And these days, there's a lot of hope. Sending you strength.

Overit, I am always happy to see your bag.

As for me, I'm diving into the real work of researching the treatments they propose to give me and their possible outcomes. It's a lot of work, but I believe in taking responsibility for one's medical treatments and making evidence-based decisions. Other than that, feeling pretty good and getting back to lightly working out today. Woot!

Lav, have a great time at the beach.

[Eloise]

Hey there... Sorry to see you struggling Londoner.
You have gotten lots of sober days under your belt, you were doing great.
I totally understand how hard it can be and I often thought this is just too hard. Why does it have to be so hard?
Maybe you can tell us what has been going on?
No one is judging you, just thinking it might help to put it all down in writing? I am not having the best of days today, if I wasnt drinking I would definitely be headed to the liquor store.
Thankfully I get it finally (took me years) that wine makes things worse.
Sending lots of positive energy this afternoon!

Just checking in - giving this another go. I have distanced myself from so many people, including myself.

I do not know who I really am and I am scared of what I am becoming.

I feel counting the days on here is just putting more pressure on the next relapse. So, I may pop my head in on here again but I do not have much faith in myself - whoever that is - anymore. I have learned that each successive fail hurts myself more and more and more.

[jane27]

Hi Nesters,

Pav,LilBit, Dutch, you are all in my thoughts. :hug:

I wanted to share a tool I used that was particularly helpful to me during months 6-12 of my quit last year. It is a website (not a phone app) called MoodTracker.com. The developer created it as a tool to help his bipolar wife manage and understand her mood changes. It was helpful for me because during the years I drank, I mastered the art of maybe 3 moods max (great, horrible, ok/bored). Never spent much time in the OK/Bored mood because I used AL to springboard into one of the others (found it preferable).

Getting used to feeling so many different ways was the 2nd greatest challenge in my quit. (The first was getting through the uncomfortable 1st months and dealing with the craving.) Everyone is different- in my case it all felt foreign, and things that weren't such a big deal- felt like they were a big deal. It was unfamiliar territory and that made me anxious. The website allows you to identify and track your moods by checking the box that best applies. At the same time you can enter in data correlating depression level, anxiety/irritability and also the number of hours you slept the night before. As you collect more data you will be able to see a graph of how you are trending over time.

I quit in January and began using it in May. You can see my graph below. Months 6-10 were the tough ones. I wasn't used to having natural moods and it was uncomfortable at times. Using the website was a great help to me because 1) it provided me with a diversion 2) it helped me to feel like I was in control. By the time December (month 11) came around, I didn't use it much anymore. I think I finally felt comfortable with what I had learned by tracking the moods, and see the cycle repeat itself.

The website is Moodtracker.com There is a free version that works great. I opted for the paid version because I think it allows you to enter in 2 readings per day (morning and night), and also includes a journal. Can't say enough good things about it.

Wishing everyone an easy day. xo

[jane27]

Just checking in - giving this another go. I have distanced myself from so many people, including myself.

I do not know who I really am and I am scared of what I am becoming.

I feel counting the days on here is just putting more pressure on the next relapse. So, I may pop my head in on here again but I do not have much faith in myself - whoever that is - anymore. I have learned that each successive fail hurts myself more and more and more.

Londoner, Sounds to me like you are moving closer towards where you need to be to really kick this beast.

[Overit-still]

Good morning!

London-Hi. I get what you are saying about the counting thing. That has been an issue for me since my original day 1. I'm not counting this time. But I have have to ask myself 1) is it because I truly want this to be a way of life? I don't count the days since I last popped my knuckles or ran a stop sign 2) Is it a way out for future binges since I'm not accountable to a date or time period? I don't know.

Dutch-how are you doing this morning?

[LostAndFound]

Hello friends,

Today is my 20th day sober! I'm going to celebrate this evening by going for a run and doing an hour or two of yard work before dark. Exercise, and being outside in the garden getting my hands dirty makes me very happy! :sohappy:

I confess to being surprised and amazed by the changes in my life in the last 20 days. I've come from a very dark place of drinking 2-4 bottles of wine every single night and really having no ambition or cares beyond if I had enough wine in the house to get me through the night - to today where having a drink of AL is not even an option I will entertain.

In 20 days I've progressed from having to think "just get through today", to fighting the occasional urge to now thinking about the future. It feels like over the last 3-4 days a switch as FLIPPED in my brain that I no longer have to worry about AL.

Has anyone else experienced this?

Hope you all are doing well!
LostAndFound