Newbies Nest

[Byrdlady]

Lost/Found, that switch flipped for me at Day 13. It was an amazing feeling! So happy for you. B

[Ginger999]

LF, took me a little longer but it did flip and it was the first time I felt I could beat AL for real!

[jane27]

LF, I never felt a flip switch but I do recall a day when I realized I had forgotten for a few hours that I had QUIT DRINKING.

[NoSugar]

LF, I never felt a flip switch but I do recall a day when I realized I had forgotten for a few hours that I had QUIT DRINKING.

I bet you forget for much longer than a few hours now, Jane - you're living it!

I don't know when my light went on for sure but I do remember the first time it crossed my mind that I never had to drink again. Such FREEDOM! By the end, I didn't drink because I liked it or wanted to, it felt like I HAD TO and everything else in my life had to be arranged to make that possible. I was as much a prisoner of an addiction as if I truly were locked up and I never want to be in there again.

[LostAndFound]

I was as much a prisoner of an addiction as if I truly were locked up and I never want to be in there again.

Sooooo so so true, NoSugar!!!!!

LostAndFound

[Dutch1988]

As always, thanks for all the kind posts on here everyone.

I went back to my usual work routine today, minus my personal workout at 7am because my wife was up late last night with severe cramping. For awhile I was worried she was going through contractions and kept reading horror stories online about D&C's being blind procedures and trickier for people with a tilted uterus but she finally calmed down about 4am. I have eaten like crap the past 2 days now, no soda or alcohol, which is not contributing to my mood.

Just feel like rambling on here, it's better I don't focus on myself.

LF, glad to read you are feeling that incredible boost when your brain realizes there are so many other things you enjoy doing other than drinking. What a pain in the ass those days were when we would sit on the couch and not be able to imagine one night without alcohol because we thought we would be bored. There is so much more I have wanted to deal since I quit.

Londoner I have seen you post before, but what constantly gets in the way of your quits? For me it was stress, but just as everyone on here has said, it's like a muscle. If you would have told me I was going to have to face a miscarriage with my wife 73 days ago without AL, I would have kicked you in the balls so hard I'd blow out your knees(because you would hit the ground so hard with them). Today, although I am going for my next coffee to even give the smallest care about the rest of the work day, I am still doing it. I wish I could remember who posted it on here, but I am just accepting that I am not going to operate at 100% today, and that's okay. I'll fake it till I make it, head home, and then try and wrap a gift for my wife's birthday tomorrow(which I imagine will be less fun than usual). By all means though, tell us what usual things get in your way and how you plan on dealing, I know writing that out weeks ago helped me.

Time for coffee, then another 6 hours of work, one breath at a time.

[Pavati]

Hi, All:

It is so cool to come here and hear about all of the myriad experiences people have while quitting.

Congratulations, LostAndFound! Sounds like a lovely celebration.

Lil - knowledge is indeed power.

Overit and Londoner - when that AL brain is trying to trick me by wondering if I am really committed to not drinking forever, I conjure my most painful day (I have dubbed it the Thanksgiving Massacre) to focus myself. If I were drinking, I know I would never be satisfied with one drink - I would soon want more, and eventually I would end up back where I started. That's not pessimism - that's reality. I found it useful to write my feelings down and I go back when I need to. I see the word FEAR written many times. I absolutely don't want to feel like that ever again, and I am willing to persist and work my butt off to prevent that. This getting sober is a process - never give up and you will make it eventually.

Speaking of living sober... I had just said to Steady on the 100 day thread that my sobriety hadn't been tested with a really hard life event, so I didn't yet know how it would feel without alcohol. (Be careful what you ask for). Well, now I know and I am HAPPY to report that I truly and honestly do not want alcohol. I really don't. I remember reading people ahead of me post things like that and I didn't believe it. Well, I had to suspend disbelief, really, because I trusted them. You cannot imagine my surprise to find the truth. I am a person who doesn't drink, and even faced with an extreme difficulty, I am a person who doesn't want to drink. It feels great. I have wanted to drink recently, and I am sure I will again, but apparently alcohol is no longer my go-to stressed out life sucks answer. What a relief.

I am off to a kid's baseball game in the cold spring wind we have going here. I am very grateful for all of you and your support. Keep on keeping on.

Pav

[Lavande]

Good evening Nesters,

Finally got the wifi working in my hotel room
Just wanted to wish everyone a safe & peaceful night.

Pav, glad to see you are OK.

Londoner, stay put!

[Byrdlady]

Morning, Nesters!
Lav, sounds like you are having a great time with the girls!

Pav, what an inspirational post. That is growth and progress. You have learned the skills to cope! Thinking of you at this challenging time.

Hugs to all, B

[Overit-still]

Morning everyone. Glad to see Dutch checking in.

Have a wonderful day!

[Hanna]

Hi Nesters-

First and foremost, Lilbit!!! So happy all is ok with your health!! Haven't caught up on the most recent posts yet, so if I missed anything major, I apologize. I haven't been on here for a couple of days, not because I am going in the wrong direction, but because I haven't had the opportunity. I have been immersing myself in AA, talking to family, connecting with sober people, going to work, and dealing with the divorce situation. Life continues to be VERY tough, but I am committed to never drinking. Hubby and I are in the same house and trying to work together on this, which I think we will be able to do, but believe me, there are moments. Last night, around 10 PM I was like a (sober) feral cat stuck in a corner. Terrible, terrible moment. But it is over now. Hubby and I plan to talk again on Friday night, and I hope to be a non-hysterical person.

Although I still don't like some things about AA, I am USING the program by taking what works. I have fortunately found a few amazing women to connect with, who have a good deal of time under their respective belts and have taken me under their respective wings.

I continue to try to breathe, and tell myself all will be ok. My kids, my sister, are amazing as well. My parents...well, not as much. My dad asked me to go to lunch this week, just after finding out I have an alcohol problem. Well, he used the time to ask me about the issues in my relationship with him AS HE ORDERED A BEER WITH HIS LUNCH. Mind you, he is NOT a big drinker by any means. NO problem with al. He just happens to be an idiot in all things relationship wise. OK, well, that lunch is behind me.

Just wanted to let you all know I am still alive, still sober, and trying to stay positive. I will go back and catch up on posts this afternoon. Hope you are all doing well!!

With much love

[Londoner]

Okay, so I'm just seeing the light of day after a horrible week lying in bed thinking the darker thoughts.

My goal for June is to focus on what I can do. Not focusing purely on AF.

It ties in well ie I want to make football with my friends every week. To do that I have to be AF. When I am not AF my energy suffers, my mood, my confidence and i am drenched in guilt, all of which keep me away from playing football and feeling comfortable around my friends.

Thats a start.

[NoSugar]

Hi, Londoner

I posted a couple links today that might be of interest to you. They are about younger men who find their way out from alcohol and other addictions (food, drugs) via exercise: https://www.mywayout.org/community/sh...=1#post1613794
Actually, you might like all of the Rich Roll podcasts (even though you are not vegan, his overall message might really resonate with you).

All the best, NS

[LilBit]

Hanna, thanks and so proud of you. I'm happy to read that you're sticking with your plan and forging some new connections along the way that will help you stay "in the zone." Your feral cat description was funny, even though I know it didn't feel that way at the time. You're doing great.

I've noticed that our little nest is a microcosm of a bigger world, with all sorts of problems, heartaches, joys and surprises stuck between the twigs for its inhabitants. And, while one trouble might seem more serious than another, in my view they're all equally trying and equally important -- they just have different characteristics. Moreover, they usually hit us right where we live. But this, fellow nesters, is how we grow -- by coping with these big and little Life things without using AL as a crutch.

Here's my recent growth: While talking with a close friend last night, I found myself saying that this cancer experience caused me to face death as a real and imminent possibility. For ten days, I knew I had a highly aggressive type, but didn't know if or how much it had spread. Thank heavens the surgery revealed that we caught it before it metastasized, but meanwhile, during that long wait, I faced the possibility of death head-on. Now I know I'm not afraid of it, and that's a pretty cool realization. There isn't much left to be afraid of. Except spiders. Definitely spiders.

Londoner, using a group sport as a motivation to be sober is very powerful. What a great plan!

Mama, how are you doing?

[kherriot]

Finding it really hard right now, family gone, hubby back at work and have to go to a funeral tomorrow. Not looking forward to it but won't be staying for the reception. Maybe I can get home and work in the garden and forget about crap. Work out group is letting me down, we are saying goodbye to a member who is moving away. Sorry to rant but feels good to get it off my chest. Think I will go to bed early tonight and wake up fresh tomorrow. Thanks for listening.