Newbies Nest

[Lavande]

Good morning Nesters,

We're stuck in some hot & humid weather here in my portion of the nest. Even the daily T storms don't improve anything, yuck.
Wishing everyone a good AF Thursday. I'll be on 2nd shift today watching my grandsons, oh boy!

Lav

[crockettaa]

Checking in with the Nest. Subbing at the church office today. Definitely going to T-storm today--I know this because my 12 year old lab is in her safe place under my bed, poor thing!

Have a great day everyone!

pS Is anyone else getting weird times on their posts? I have mine set for EAstern time but it is several hours off.

[jane27]

Howdy all! Some troubling times for some of the Nesters, don’t feel bad, you’re not alone. All of us have gone through the troubles and struggles. Maybe not as life altering as some, but still drastic in our own minds. What you have to do is think of them as obstacles, something to get over and help to strengthen your resolve.

I ignored similar obstacles for most of my life. I would have told you that I was a liberal, well-educated, philosophically-inclined, intelligent and well-informed chap, a credit to my mother, my school and my community, and an excellent judge of fine liquor. All but the last were debatable. In reality I was a hard-headed, opinionated, fuzzy-thinking, gun-loving a**hole and a drunk. And no, I’m not being hard on myself.

I had some good qualities, for sure. I tried to be a good father, husband, son, and so-on-and-so-forth. I was kind to animals, fumbled around helping people in various ways, went to church to please my family, worked hard at my various careers and tried to be a nice guy. For the most part I hadn’t a clue, but I bumbled along until the last two or three years of my drinking without hurting anyone too much — I thought. Of course there was the failed marriage, bitter divorce, poor example for my kids, obligations not met, etc.

I mention these things to indicate to you, that I was a pretty messed up guy for about ten years. Then I got into booze, and the next 25 were a real picnic! I’m not proud of that, but nowadays it doesn’t upset me much, either. Like most everyone, I tried to do my best and, considering the obstacles I put in my own way, I didn’t do near as badly as I might have. But that’s not the reason it fails to upset me.

I’ve come to realize that I was not a happy camper from an early age, and that I would likely have been a pretty miserable s.o.b. even if I hadn’t discovered the wonders of modern living through alcohol. I didn’t know how to be happy, and if I hadn’t had my ass kicked by alcohol and needed to solve that, I would probably never have realized that things could be different.

But — thank Heavens or whomever — I am an alcoholic. And I am in recovery, the results of which — for me, anyway — have made all the misery of the preceding years a high but bearable price for what I now have: peace of mind, the ability to be alone with myself while feeling as though I’m in pretty good company, a better understanding of people and my relationships with them, and a spiritual–if not religious–life. Cheap at this price.

ABC, this is so good I'm gonna copy and paste into my journal so I can find it easily. Thanks

[abcowboy]

PP, I don't think these people post regularly on the Roll Call, but just letting you know these milestones celebrated today..

MossRose at 10 months! Soft Focus, mywayin, and enzo'smon (where ever she is) each at 5 months!

[Byrdlady]

Well, AB Cowboy, the PP can use all the help it can get! I didn't see these MileStoners! Congrats to all for these huge numbers, I hope you will post them over on Roll Call for all of us to brag on!! WELL DONE to all!

Today is the last blitz at work before my trip tomorrow morning! I have everything in the suitcase and it still zips!

Because I did the heavy lifting 4 years ago, I am able to travel now with NO anxiety about AL. In fact, as I pack, I am relieved to be free of that huge burden. No sneaking, no stress about running out, (I used to worry about the excessive weight of my bag!) it is a wonderful feeling that can only be had thru TIME. Whatever it takes, build up your time and your immunity will build also. AL is NOT an option! Give time, TIME.

I'm taking my ipad so I can check in. Hugs to all! Byrdie

[LavenderBlue]

Warning for kind of gross doggy post!

My dog's had a sebaceous cyst for a while (it's basically a large pimple) that must have decided to burst yesterday or the day before. (He's still got a pretty thick coat even this late in the season, darn thing was hiding under what I thought was just some matted fur from being outside.) Wouldn't be a big deal, except now he has a bright red hole in his shoulder that looks pretty nasty. (Trying to spare details, here.) When I called the vet's office, they told me to clean it out, put an antibiotic on it, and call back before the weekend if it gets worse or he starts acting sick.

The point is, while I was trying to clean it up and get a look at it last night, I had a random "Wow, I'm glad I'm sober" thought. It's not super pleasant to find that on your dog, and I'm pretty sure if I'd been drinking I would have absolutely panicked. It looks much worse than it actually is. Plus, by the time of night I saw I probably would have been so drunk that trying to clean it up would have been quite a challenge. I would have stayed up later than I did worrying, and probably wouldn't have been able to wake up early this morning to call the vet. They would have said the same thing, I'm sure, but I would already have been mad at myself for not handling it better and probably scared about treating it at home in case I screwed something up.

I'm not looking forward to cleaning it again, BUT I'm very grateful to get a reminder/reinforcement of why I'm better off sober!

[LilBit]

LilBit checking in...yay on the milestones! Yay for Lav's fish cakes and Byrdie's vacation, not to mention L&F's great news and Dutch's admirable response. Welcome to Crock & Mesh -- you're in a wonderful place.

As for me, doing well, busy work week, overdid the exercise yesterday, and found that cutting my sugar intake to almost zero made me temporarily turn into this:

funny-angry-cat-soft-kitty-song.jpg

...but I know it will pass and will be worth it once my body adjusts.

LavB, sorry about your dog's ordeal! Anyone who's had kids, dogs or both understands what gross traumas are like, and I hope he's better soon. 'Glad you were sober to deal with it.

Have a great Thursday, all.

[jane27]

Warning for kind of gross doggy post! My dog's had a sebaceous cyst for a while (it's basically a large pimple) that must have decided to burst yesterday or the day before.

LavB, My dog had one of those before- twice actually in the same spot. Both times quite large and stayed put for more than a year before opening up. The first rupture looked like a big earthworm slithering out of a hole. So gross, and painful for him too. Stuff came out for a day or so, and it was painful for him. It was on his neck. Should heal up fine.

Because I did the heavy lifting 4 years ago, I am able to travel now with NO anxiety about AL. In fact, as I pack, I am relieved to be free of that huge burden. No sneaking, no stress about running out, (I used to worry about the excessive weight of my bag!) it is a wonderful feeling that can only be had thru TIME. Whatever it takes, build up your time and your immunity will build also. AL is NOT an option! Give time, TIME.

I’m also finally not feeling so anxious about traveling. Worse than worrying about the logistics when drunk traveling was getting used to non drunk traveling. That is a learning curve for sure. It literally hurt a little- like I got a lump in my throat. I developed bionic hearing and registered other people ordering alcoholic drinks rows and rows behind me on the plane. Now at close to a year and a half, I don’t care. I still look a little – out of curiosity to see who is doing what drinks wise on the plane. I’m surprised by how little drinking I see going on- and I can’t remember seeing a problem drinker. Makes me wonder how I felt so comfortable “blending in” with my 2-3 bottle of wine orders. One time I tried to buy a bottle of vodka at duty free and was refused when asked if I was going to boarding a plane and I said yes. That was embarrassing. I am glad those days are behind me.

LilBit checking in...yay on the milestones! Yay for Lav's fish cakes and Byrdie's vacation, not to mention L&F's great news and Dutch's admirable response. Welcome to Crock & Mesh -- you're in a wonderful place. As for me, doing well, busy work week, overdid the exercise yesterday, and found that cutting my sugar intake to almost zero made me temporarily turn into this: [ATTACH=CONFIG]1209[/ATTACH] ...but I know it will pass and will be worth it once my body adjusts.

LilBit, Been asking around about what people are eating because I am trying to figure out a healthy yet realistic plan for hubs (diabetes) and myself (chronically fatigued). When you say no sugar, do you mean baked goods, ice cream /junkie sweets, or are you including fruit in the no nos? What about artificial sweeteners?
Lav, when you mentioned the 20 lbs of fish I couldn’t help thinking about what if they brought them home NOT filleted? So what did you do with it all?
Wishing everyone a great day!

[Lizann]

Well, AB Cowboy, the PP can use all the help it can get! I didn't see these MileStoners! Congrats to all for these huge numbers, I hope you will post them over on Roll Call for all of us to brag on!! WELL DONE to all!

Today is the last blitz at work before my trip tomorrow morning! I have everything in the suitcase and it still zips!

Because I did the heavy lifting 4 years ago, I am able to travel now with NO anxiety about AL. In fact, as I pack, I am relieved to be free of that huge burden. No sneaking, no stress about running out, (I used to worry about the excessive weight of my bag!) it is a wonderful feeling that can only be had thru TIME. Whatever it takes, build up your time and your immunity will build also. AL is NOT an option! Give time, TIME.

I'm taking my ipad so I can check in. Hugs to all! Byrdie

Thank you thank you. My anxiety is at an all time high about my upcoming trip. You have given hope that I can do this sober. Have a wonderful time. Your always here when I need you!

[LilBit]

LilBit, Been asking around about what people are eating because I am trying to figure out a healthy yet realistic plan for hubs (diabetes) and myself (chronically fatigued). When you say no sugar, do you mean baked goods, ice cream /junkie sweets, or are you including fruit in the no nos? What about artificial sweeteners?

Good question, Jane. Like many, when I first quit, I allowed myself to eat pretty much whatever I wanted. I still think this is a good idea early on and would do the same thing. But now I am approaching 90 AF days (@85 days today -- woot!) and it's time to re-introduce some healthy eating habits that will help me avoid *other* health issues. In addition, I want to drop about 12 more pounds. So, there are some easy adjustments like replacing the sugar/cocoa in my morning coffee with organic dark cocoa and a healthy, plant-based sweetener. I like Erythritol, and so far, haven't found any negative press on it. Stevia is another good replacement but it's uber-sweet tasting to me.

I've been having a hot cocoa before bed on many nights since I quit AL, and am replacing it with the same mix of dark chocolate cocoa, Erythritol and almond milk. Or, try this similar recipe: http://healthylivinghowto.com/1/post...olate-mix.html Yum!

As for baked goods, ice cream, etc., the occasional treat is fine but I find it easiest to simply abstain entirely because I always want more (kinda like you-know-what). That's just me, and NS can tell you a whole lot more about that.

Fruits are OK; in fact, we need them -- as long as one doesn't go crazy. The key there is to look up the glycemic score and maintain healthy blood sugar levels. For example, I love watermelon. It's low-calorie and refreshing but it has a high glycemic score so you have to balance it by eating something with a low score along with it.

My #1 tip for controlling weight and sugar cravings = lightly roast a batch of almonds sprayed with pure olive oil, and add sea salt. Munch a few whenever you feel hungry or have a sugar craving.

Let me know how you and hubby do!

[Dutch1988]

Just checking in, good to see all the accomplishments this week, congrats everyone! Today has already been emotionally trying, and it's not even noon yet!

My older brother has been distant from the family since Christmas. He has said my older sister and his wife have been at odds(sister moved back into my parents house with her just out of the army husband and son in September). They missed events like Easter, and my daughter's second birthday party. He texted me this morning with a nice surprise, I guess his wife was pregnant and they just had their 4th child, his first baby boy. I was immediately happy for him, cruised over to meet the little guy of course. I am actually surprised that going over there and seeing the new little one didn't bring me down, especially since I had to tell him for the first time my wife miscarried. I feel a little blue now, and have crossed my fitness/work goals off for the day. Still can't believe he kept it from the family, we are the picture of dysfunctional...

I did want to share on a personal victory level, that last night I was really tense and wanted so badly to have a dr. pepper with dinner but used the ol' wait x amount of time and see if you want to have one then(25 days soda free today). That's right, my body wasn't aching for a good ol' vodka cranberry, instead it wanted a soda, I am counting that as a win!

[kherriot]

Sorry to vent but I really need some support right now. My closest bar is 5 away and my closet liquor store is 15. I just can't stop crying right now. Hubby has been telling me how much he misses me and is looking forward to coming home and then a long story short he would bypass going by his brothers to come home early enough to play at the bar. So what the hell. What does he want to come to, he doesn't need me. Crap haven't felt this bad in a long time. I have been doing everything I can but sometimes it seems like the easiest thing is to just give up.

Thanks for listening I know in the long run it is my decision, I just think it is cruel and I thought he would be more supportive. Stupid me.

[Byrdlady]

Karen, when my hubby was a thoughtless boob at times, I tried to remember that AL is MY problem, not his. He does not understand the depth of it. Try not to look for reasons to give in to AL. Stand your ground! We are in the fight of our lives, so protect your quit at all costs.

Im not sure I understand the whole scene you are describing tonight, but please hang in there, you will never regret being sober!! Al only makes everything WORSE. Byrdie

[crockettaa]

Hi Karen, hang in there! I think this is tougher when husband drinks a lot too. I'm in early days still but I know the couple of times when I "caved" because husband was driving me nuts, and I thought if he's going to drink & act like an a$$ why shouldn't I get to drink too? --it never made me feel better, it just made me regret it the next day.

sending lots of love & support! Would send chocolate ice cream if I could! That always helps.

[kherriot]

Thanks Byrdie, I was really frustrated when I wrote that. He was really worried that I would start drinking when he was gone especially since my son left some wine and beer behind and I said that if I was going to give in it would have been over the long weekend. So he emails me every day telling me how much he loves me and can't wait to get home, and then he has to decide to forgo target practice with his brother so he can be home in time to go to the bar to play. Hmmmmm seems to me what is really more important. Don't get me wrong, he works very hard and deserves his time off but what he says and what he does are often to different thing. I just want him to be happy and proud of me no matter what he want's to do so I have calmed down and will let things work out as they will. Stopped crying and did not go anywhere. Tomorrow is another day.