Family
My best friend died suddenly Christmas Eve 2008. Another good friend died last August after a long struggle with cancer. They were both under fifty and I miss them terribly. It is so hard to make dear friends when you are nrarly 50. I also am scared of getting too close to any of the social friends I have in case, you know, they die and I am devastated again.
I have just had a lovely Easter weekend with my brother and his family. A great sister in law and four fun children. But I was drawn to drink every afternoon and into the night. I would finish a bottle after giving my sister in law a glass from it, and then I would just keep filling up from the cask of wine they brought with them. Ended up having around 10 or 12 standard drinks before bed. Ashamed that my nieces and nephews see me drunk. They still love me so much and that's hard for me to understand as I don't have any respect for myself. I put the remainder of the cask in the boot of their car before they left even though I know they intended to leave it here.
So today I come back to you for support and just reading your stories helps me. I will remain AF today. I will check in more often. I will become healthy and gain some respect for myself.
Thank you all.
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