Newbies Nest

[Hanna]

Lil Bit-

YEA FOR YOU ON 3 MONTHS!!!!!! Amazing!!!!

I made it through a really rough day 17, and still standing!! Lawyer this morning, AA meeting, then the "couples" therapist (alone), then went over the financials with my husband so that I can get the process going before the weekend. I am really looking forward to a week away with my sister after that. Planning to TAKE CARE of myself. Sleep, nap, eat well, go to the gym, meetings, and maybe even sneak in a little well deserved laughter with my big sis.

As bad as this has been, I do not have the compulsion to drink. I am trying to let myself consider better times ahead. A lot of tough stuff to still get through.

Well, I am going to go to bed. Long day tomorrow (they all seem to be lol).

[3June2013]

Wow I popped in to say hello on my two year anniversary, the site is so different I can't quite work it out. Hope you are all doing well. Two years ago today I came to this site, my first real quit and it stuck. The folks here know who they are, they helped me to change my life. Never doubt that you can do this. It is so worth it.

[jane27]

Congratulations on 3 months in the piggy bank LilBit! When you enter the room, the light shines more brightly. :hug:

[jane27]

Congrats also to you too 3June! 2 years is something else! Please leave a light on for me! I’ll be stopping by in 6 months and a few days. :happy2: Hope you’ll pop in some to share your insights. Newbies and (me-bie alike, lol) benefit a lot from seeing sobriety in motion- at 1 year, 2 years, 5 years, 10 years...For me it’s right up in the top 3 of most important tools to keep me grounded in this new way of life. Thanks for stopping by the nest so we could share in your 2 year celebration!

[enzo'smomf/k/ajenniech]

Hey nesters!!!! It has taken me DAYS to get back on here. I must be extremely MYO site challenged. I had to RE-REGISTER!! And this is the second time I have had to do that after stints away from the nest. THey would not accept any of what I thought were my passwords and they must have my OLD email address on file because…well, whatever…I figured out how to get back.
I saw AB cowboys post on 5/28 congratulating people on 5 months sober and he mentioned me saying "wherever you are"
I am here still!!!! I have beat my personal record for staying sober and I intend to keep it that way.
My life has gotten dramatically better.

I wake up in the morning able to do anything. I have no headache, I am not extremely dehydrated, I am not dizzy, my head is not full of fog nor does it feel like oatmeal…..I am ready to tackle the day and I mean that in the most positive way
I am becoming the "go to" mom in my house. I have long talks with my kids. They tell me how proud they are of me……what a gift.
My husband and I are communicating better than ever before. We don't lose our tempers as much and we are just nicer to each other….since i have stopped drinking, I am able to keep my side of the street clean. When he is angry, I let him be but then later, when he has calmed down, I talk with him and explain in a calm way why what he said made me feel this way or that way….anyway, you get the picture. Because I am doing that, I see that he is much more calm….hard to put simply but there it is as best as I can explain it
I go to the gym all the time and I LOVE working out. I no longer skip the gym because I am hungover. I can workout at a much higher intensity. I get that adrenaline high. Before I was there as a sort of punishment for the drinking the night before. And I would sweat out a lot of the toxins which was a the only way I could function at my job later in the day.
I am eating better than ever.
I have lost 17 pounds
My skin is clear
I look 10 years younger
people are commenting…….my brother was visiting last night and I haven't seen him in several months. First thing he said was "you look different"
But here is the MOST important thing that has happened in the past 5+ months: I am feeling my feelings. I am not numbing them away. Some are awesome but some are really bad. I have had many days feeling very sad and depressed. BUt instead of heading to the nearest liquor store, I talk it out with another alcoholic. Sure enough, the feelings pass and I get stronger as a result.
As each day passes, I feel further and further away from a drink. That piece of my brain that thinks only about liquor and drinking and DRInking and drinking…..that piece of my brain is taking up less and less amount of space in my head as time goes on.
Oh, and No Sugar: I haven't had any sugar in almost 4 weeks. WHAT A DIFFERENCE.

Just when I thought I couldn't change, I did. And I am reaping the rewards.

[jane27]

enzo'smom, Congratulations! Its so nice to see folks enjoying serenity and freedom once they take control of their lives back. I knew alcohol was a depressant but when the habit starts, it feels totally opposite to that- like cheer in a glass. The downhill slide gets eclipsed by the importance of drinking, and by the time people realize its a problem that needs to be addressed its because alcohol is required to elevate the mood to a less gray one. Thank you for sharing a snapshot of the rewards you have reaped by kicking AL to the curb. :love:

[Byrdlady]

Good morning! Heading to Provincetown today and whale watching this afternoon! Got a good night's sleep and no hangover to deal with. Back home tomorrow. Hope everyone is staying strong! Byrdie

[crockettaa]

Great post enzo's mom! I remember your "handle" from last year. So glad you are doing so well.

There's an article on the front of the Arts section of the NY Times today about a group called Soberoo. Apparently they meet up at concerts & music festivals. The article is titled "Raving Sober: remembering the music in the morning". I'm off to the gym but will definitely read it later! Looks interesting. Have a great day everyone! So good to hear the affirmations of how better life gets when you get off AL here on this site!

[Lavande]

Good morning Nesters,

Happy Thursday to all
Still dealing with rain showers here, better than the steady downpours we have had.

Lil, Congrats on your 90 AF days ~ awesome!

Great to see you 3June & Congrats on your 2 years AF!!! Life is good when we kick AL to the curb.

Jennie, glad you checked in & Congrats on your AF time! Protect your quit at all costs!

Greetings crockettaa, jane, LavB & everyone!
Wishing everyone a terrific AF Thursday!

Lav

[LilBit]

'A lot of good cheer here in the nest. Thanks, everyone for celebrating with me. It means a lot to me. :hug: Welcome back, EM, and congrats on your progress.

Tomorrow, I leave for a 1-week beach vacation on the North Carolina Outer Banks and guess what? I'm taking you all with me. We deserve this break, so pack your virtual suntan lotion and flip flops, and get ready to relax! This is the first AF vacation ever in my adult life and I'm looking forward to experiencing it fully, and not needing a few days for my body to get over the hangover when I return.

Simple rules:

1. No Speedos
2. See rule #1

Funny, when I originally booked the flight 6 months ago, I treated myself to a first-class ticket thinking it would be almost as cheap with the quantity of free drinks I'd consume. Now, I'm looking forward to the steaming towels and stretch-out room, instead. Hot tea, anyone?

[crockettaa]

That's funny LB! The first class ticket thing. Hope you have great weather down there!

[Hanna]

Congrats again on the milestoners!!

Sorry I am always such a downer, but just really, really, blue today. So what else is new. Tomorrow I am going to give the attorney the paperwork and his retainer fee, before I leave to visit my sister for a week. This whole process feels surreal, but I realize it is not, and my heart is just breaking into bits. I am committed to not drinking, but the sadness is just so overwhelming. Honestly, I think it is worse than death, because it is death coupled with rejection. I have started to tell my friends that my marriage is over, and that is also really hard. Meeting a good friend for dinner tonight, and will be sharing again.

19 years is a long time to share your life so intimately with someone. I get it. He has lost all trust in me regarding alcohol. However, I never intentionally set out to hurt him, and I have struggled with this right along (and even before) him. It just is so damn sad. And he is pleasant and cordial around me, but not emotional at all. That hurts... a lot.

OK, just had to get that out of my system.

[Lavande]

Good evenong Nesters,

Still raining here in these parts, darn.

Hanna, I am truly sorry you are dealing with all this. I do strongly feel 6 -12 months from now you will have a completely new outlook & understanding on everything that has happened. Time really does change things. We are here for you!

Lil, I have heard that sunnier & warmer weather is on the way for us mid-Atlantic dwellers. I'm sure you will have a great time in the OBs. Stretch your legs in first class for me

Wishing everyone a safe & comfy night in the nest!

Lav

[LostAndFound]

Congrats again on the milestoners!!

Sorry I am always such a downer, but just really, really, blue today. So what else is new. Tomorrow I am going to give the attorney the paperwork and his retainer fee, before I leave to visit my sister for a week. This whole process feels surreal, but I realize it is not, and my heart is just breaking into bits. I am committed to not drinking, but the sadness is just so overwhelming. Honestly, I think it is worse than death, because it is death coupled with rejection. I have started to tell my friends that my marriage is over, and that is also really hard. Meeting a good friend for dinner tonight, and will be sharing again.

19 years is a long time to share your life so intimately with someone. I get it. He has lost all trust in me regarding alcohol. However, I never intentionally set out to hurt him, and I have struggled with this right along (and even before) him. It just is so damn sad. And he is pleasant and cordial around me, but not emotional at all. That hurts... a lot.

OK, just had to get that out of my system.

*hugs* Hanna. I'm sorry you're going through this. Don't feel bad about sharing your story and venting. That's what this site is all about!

I went through a divorce 10ish years ago. My wife of 15 years decided she wanted a different life. We separated for about a year at which point (right before the divorce was to be finalized) she decided she'd made a mistake and wanted to get back together. At that point I really didn't want her back and went through with the divorce.

I don't know if you're already separated, or plan to before you proceed with the divorce, but divorces can take a long time and people can change in that time. It sounds like you want your marriage back though. In your interactions over the next few months, if your husband sees the woman that he fell in love with 19+ years ago, he will have little choice but to fall in love with you all over again.

You're doing great with quitting the AL! We are just a few days apart in our quits. Keep at it!

LostAndFound

[Pavati]

Hi, All:

So glad you checked in 3June - I quote you all the time, and each time I do I think of you. "If only one, why not none." Happy to hear you're two years sober and loving life.

Jennie - LOVE, love, love your post. I was so worried when you weren't checking in - happy to hear you were just having problems logging in. The way you describe your relationship with your husband is dead on to what I experienced. I am able not to get angry and reactive - rather I can bring our tense discussions down a notch with my patience. What a wonderful side effect. So glad you're back.

Hanna - I agree with Land F and Lav - you will have a better perspective from further away from alcohol. I am sorry you are so sad and very glad to hear you're not drinking to numb those feelings.

Lil - I lived in NC one summer - love the outter banks. I'll happily go along - one piece and sparkling water only.

Night.
Pav