Newbies Nest

[Lavande]

Good evening Nesters,

Glad to see folks checking in - I was a bit concerned this morning, ha ha!

Hello & welcome Melissah, glad you found us
I have to agree with you on the victim mentality, didn't get me anywhere either. We may not think so but we are in charge of our own lives. You know, deep down what is good for you & what is not good. Be kind to yourself, treat yourself well.
I happen to have several allergies so I did not want to try kudzu but many here have spoken about it over the years. Get a good plan together for yourself, make sure all your drinking triggers are covered. Have you found the Tool box? It's full of great ideas. Wishing you the very best!

Dutch, I don't think anyone can truly understand your feelings about the miscarriage. Grief is different for everyone. Just try to not keep yourself stuck there too long. You have a wonderful daughter & wife who need you. Enjoy every moment you have with them :hug:

Hi there G!

Ava, how soon can you get to my house? I have a number of jobs just sitting here, waiting, LOL
I used to be so energetic - miss those days (must be age related for me)

Wishing everyone a safe & comfy night in the nest!

Lav

[kherriot]

One VENT then I am off to bed. Why do people lie to your face when you both know they are lying. This person thinks she is so superior to everyone and if I had been drinking I think I would of lost it. Tomorrow is another day so I am going to let it rest. She is the one who has to live with herself, not me.

Night Nesters, thanks for being there.

[Pavati]

Hi, Nest:

Dutch and Hanna - that old tug is SO HARD. What worked for me was to actually take the choice OFF the table. No matter how strong a craving I got, I knew that alcohol wasn't a choice. I don't know exactly what clicked, but when I finally saw a counselor and confessed all to her, and then came here, I knew that while I could keep lying to myself, I couldn't lie to the counselor or to you all. The paradox of this whole thing is that I really need to take one day at a time - contemplating quitting forever was just too much for me - and at the same time I need to know that I have quit forever and that alcohol is no longer a choice.

Kherri - Sorry for whatever that $%#& did. You can only control your reaction to her, not her. Imagine her life, if that is what she does all of the time...

Welcome Melissa! You sound resolved and ready. Have a perch and reach out whenever you need.

Lilbit - Hope all is well. I miss your humor around here.

Good to see your noses poke in, G and Matt.

Hope you feel better, Byrd. Hiya, Lav and everyone.

Ava - COME CLEAN MY HOUSE!

Carry on.

Pav

[blackflag]

Hi everyone, been a while since I've been here. Another day one. Off to work but at least it's sunny. I'll be back later on the check in.

[Guitarista]

Day 1...waiting for the herbal supplement Kudzu. Did not drink two days ago and felt great the next day. Convinced myself one more day would not hurt until I got the "magic" supplement. Wanting the madness to end.

Hi Melissah. Have you found our toolbox? A top read full of very useful info and idea's. Link below. Best wishes, G.

https://www.mywayout.org/community/showthread.php?24253-Tool-box

[available]

An article i enjoyed and very very true, i have my spirit back now.

http://www.soberlink.net/my-spirit-my-story/?utm_source=facebook&utm_medium=soberinfo&utm_campaign=blog

Mr G i am glad i gave someone motivation. As much as i procrastinated, like 6 months, once i got going a miracle was created! Love it. now if the rest of the house could look the same.

Lav and Pav, i could have cleaned everyones house when i stopped drinking but god i am lucky to do mine now but i will cheer from the side.

Kherr, i drank AT so many people it got ridiculous. Some people are sent to try us and i figure now i dont need or want them in my life. Feel sorry for her.

Hi BF and welcome back. Keep checking in, dont run away from here, being accountable to the lovely people on here kept me going and going. Us alkies dont like letting others down so we hide and run away. Stop hiding and you can do this.

Nice to see you MATTHEW!

Well i am off to admire my bedroom for another night.

Take care all.

[Samstone]

Hey guys - how's everyone getting on?

I've just completed a bit of an eye opening experiment. I downloaded an alcohol calculator app. It allows you to enter various quanitities and strength of AL drinks, the time you started and finished those drinks.

The data I entered was a standard drinking pattern. 1 pint on the hour every hour for say, 5 hours. Allowing 30 mins for each pint.

Now, what I learned is that my blood alcohol content would be at a level after 4 or 5 hours (180mg/100ml) that would see me doing things out of character. And that's 'only' 5 pints. I can see now, why, for the last 10 years I have been ending up in places that I wouldn't normally be, partying all night and feeling like hell for a week after. These nights would have much more than 'just' 5 pints.

The other thing I have noticed, is a simple switch from a 5% to a 4% beer would see my BAC drop by 30%. 1% on a beer looks like nothing, but it could have a BIG change on my mood, actions and BAC.

Eye opening to say the least. I live in a city, within a country where excessive Al intake is the norm. And it has been the norm. A mind like mind, that is easily influenced, and uses AL as a crutch rather than an added enjoyment can be messed up. All those Uni nights out, pub crawls with friends over the last decade. Where chugging beers, shots etc and acting like an idiot was the norm. The levels of BAC would be frightening.

I know this app isn't 100% accurate but it helps paint a picture. I will be drinking this weekend. I'm okay with my actions on that. But what I will doing is carrying out a more practical test. I will see how my mind, mood, actions etc alter as the BAC goes up on the app. I will see where I am okay at, giving myself plenty of time between drinks and see if I can keep myself from falling into self destructive patterns.

Londoner
I would suggest you stop acknowledging what the norm is for other people. The only norm is what is good for you and by all accounts of what I've read in the past, the norm would be that you enjoy a sober life when it is happening.... so that could be your norm... just saying...
Sam

[Byrdlady]

Good Morning, Nesters!
Pav, your wonderful post reminds me of the mantra I had about dieting. "I've tried EVERYTHING to lose weight, except diet and exercise." I had the same situation with AL...I tried everything to quit drinking...except stopping drinking! I wasn't able to succeed until I did that...completely. Oh, sure, I'd made half hearted attempts....THIS IS IT, until it wasn't. When the going got tough, I just had to find another way to get through it....you never know how strong you are until you have to be!! If you remove the choice once and for all, you will be miles ahead. I would no sooner take a drink of AL than I would a drink of gasoline...because both are deadly to me. TO ME. I had to also realize this isn't the case for everyone....but it is FOR ME. And it is for other alcoholics. It isn't the last drink that gets us, it's the first one.

Having just come off a week's vacation of full tilt travel....I can tell you it is a blessing to be out of the chains of addiction. Sure, other people drank, but I did not want or pine away for it....this is what TIME will do for you! I don't eat fish, either and in Boston, I was the odd ball for that! It doesn't bother me to be a little different! It's what makes me, ME!

Do whatever it takes to get thru this day AF. Then rinse and repeat tomorrow! Build up your time and your immunity! You will never regret a day you spent SOBER!! Byrdie

[crockettaa]

Hi Nest!

Been very busy but want to check in. My favorite part of not drinking is the Morning! I was always a morning person but AL took that away from me for a few years. So glad to have it back. I feel like I can get a lot done, not just drag myself through my chores so I appear "functional".

Ah, drinking "at" people. I'm an expert at that! We sure showed them, didn't we?

Have a great day people! Love this group

[Lavande]

Good morning Nesters

We're even seeing a bit of sun here ~ nice!
I'll tell you what - having my 4 year old grandson dropped off at 8:30 am is just one reason I am grateful for a clear head, OMG!!! What a bundle of pure energy
No more drinking AT people or situations for me!!!

Wishing everyone an AF energy & fun-filled day!

Lav

[Overit-still]

[QUOTE=Byrdlady;1616332] It isn't the last drink that gets us, it's the first one.

Isn't that the truth!

Good morning! I wake up every day and just Thank God for being sober and alive. Does that ever get old? Do you old timers just get used to it? Do you wake up but not have that huge revelation anymore that, Hey, I'm sober, I'm not hungover, etc? Just curious. To me it's just such a revelation each and every morning.

I've already been on my knees twice today.....I'm gonna have to start wearing knee pads. (Hey! I'm talking praying.....come on now......keep it clean )

I hope everyone has a great day.

[blackflag]

Home from work, dinner is on, soft drinks in the fridge and now I'm not going ANYWHERE. This is the time I'd be starting to drink, but i'll not be doing that today

[available]

overit, everyday i always appreciate that i dont drink, i wake up and just know if i drank i would not have the life i have now. I never wake up feeling like shite (unless sick), i never wake up shaking and nauseous, i never wake up with diahorrea, i never wake up and need to pop paracetamol, i never wake up wishing i did not drink the night before, i never wake up not remembering what i did the night before, i never wake up wanting to kill the birds for singing or the garbage man. So the answer is YES.

On your knees, now i was going to ask for tips!

Keep up the good work BF, the witching hour is a bitch but waking up the next day is the best.

Hi Ho off to work i go!

[Dutch1988]

You know I actually haven't been waking up grateful that I don't drink. Perhaps this is a bad sign as in the beginning I was very excited to be sober and actually want to do things in the morning. I also want to note that my energy has been way down from when I stopped drinking. I went from going to the gym at 11:30pm and being asleep by 2am to get up at 6:30am, to going to sleep at 11pm and barely able to get up at 7am. I haven't made any substantial changes in my diet(other than drinking this holy basil tea and occasionally valerian). Or perhaps my desire to drink at night and HAVE to do something else has finally fizzled out and I am simply enjoying sleeping in. I think it's much more likely I just lack the emotional resolve I had a month ago thinking I had less time to train because of the newborn on the way, take the kid out of the picture and motivation just dwindles.

Yesterday was a come to Jesus meeting at work with my twin, we noticed we are actually having a worse summer than last year, and can only attribute it to not focusing on our business like we did in 2013. The added financial pressure of trying to meet a quota is not a welcome distraction when a week ago I was crawling out the door. Still, focusing on a new goal is way better than moping, and if my bro is on board I think we can do it as opposed to me busting my ass alone.

Pavati I don't think drinking is an option for me anymore, at least not if I am level headed I can't see myself doing it, every now and then I tell myself if I am going to break it I better be going out for a damn good drink I really enjoy, that does scare me a bit when I think about it. Hope everyone has a happy Tuesday!

[Matt M.]

Hola
Popping in and been trying to read back some.
Things are going well, I have officially surpassed my longest sober time ever. .
I once made it to 10 months, Although i wasn't physically drinking at the time, I was plotting and coniving to drink, looking back it's funny to think about what I was doing, it's also sad because I realize I was one Sick Sonofabitch.
Fast forward a few years, Today I have absolute zero desire to go back to that Hell hole..
That brings me to something I noticed and it saddens angers me a bit, I was one, a chronic relapser. I hadn't found this site yet, but I can say I wouldn't have and don't have the balls to come back. So for that I commend people who can swallow their pride and come crawling back.
I didn't and don't have another day one in me. For me to drink is to die, physically and mentally check the fuck out...

So this is what I often think but don't say to anyone that has What I have, an addiction to Alcohol that without help I am powerless over...Not adressed to any one person, just what I believe will be the end game..

One Day you will quit drinking Alcohol for good, it can be on your terms, but history has shown that is likely NOT to happen if this insanity continues. If it does continue your day of quit WILL happen, but on terms no so great. You will quit from Death- be it Car accident, aspirating on vomit, or a chronic liver disease, or countless other lethal medical problems caused by Alcohol Or you'll kill someone else involuntary while driving and go to prison.
The End

Maybe a bit Harsh, but why sugar coat something so devasting, yet we have a choice not to let it continue to annihilate us. Unlike many diagnosed with irreversible terminal diseases.

Anyway enough of all that.
As I was telling my dear friend Byrd, here in the great State of Texas were I stays, it went from tropical rain forest to Africa Hot in about a week...

Stay Hard Freaks!