Newbies Nest

[Pinecone]

Hi Lifechange! It's great to see you. I think you have a great attitude going. Everyone here is familiar with that frustration. I like how you said you have another chance at life. The recovery process might not be comfortable, especially in the beginning but the cost is so trivial. We are the lucky ones to have the guts to take this thing on! Welcome back!

[Lavande]

Good morning Nesters, happy Friday to all!

Another super hot & humid day on the way in my portion of the nest, oh boy.
I have to be sure to run icy treats out to my chickens, they don't care for this extreme heat either.

LC, today is a brand new day & glad you are feeling more confident

LavB, glad to hear you've got a plan now to get your finances straightened out. The time will go by quickly especially now that you have a job you love!

Hi there Pinecone & everyone!
Wishing everyone a wonderful AF Friday!

Lav

[abcowboy]

LavBlue on your 10 month milestone!

[Byrdlady]

Good Morning, Nesters!
GREAT to see you, Pinecone! I hope you are thriving!
ABCowboy, you must have the mother of all calendar programs! You and Jane are Prize Patrol's BEST students! Lav B, 10 months? Seriously? Can you believe it? You are within spittin distance of measuring this thing in YEARS! Well done to you! :balloons:

I was watching the news this morning, there was a segment called, "My kid wouldn't do that". It put teens in certain situations to see how they would react. The lesson that came out of it was to PRACTICE what you would do in certain situations. I told myself just how true this is. When I was EARLY in my quit, it didn't take much to throw me off, or to cave in to peer pressure. Like NS was saying, that Prosecco (sp?) thing COULD have derailed her early on because she wasn't expecting it. I am telling you, getting your ironclad PLAN in place is key! I WILL NOT DRINK NO MATTER WHAT AND NO MATTER WHO! Practice "NO!" Get that story down until it is second nature! Don't be caught off guard and let your shields down. YES, one drink WILL hurt us. It can take us months or years to recover from that ONE drink. Some never do..... so yes...just one WILL hurt us.

The weekend is here! It's just Friday, not to ticket to Boozeville!! Stay strong, nesters! Byrdie

[Byrdlady]

Pinecone, I KNOW your avatar is getting bigger! Pretty soon, I will be seeing the colonies of microbes on that conifer!! B

[Matt M.]

Happy Friday the 12th all,
Make it a great one. ...
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And FFS! Stay Hard

[Elvis]

Good morning everyone!

I just have to share this. I love my sober life! If any newbies are out there like I was, afraid of what life is like without alcohol and thinking living the rest of your life without alcohol is gonna suck, I ask you to trust me. I've been there. And you're life will only improve without alcohol. One day you too can live a sober life and look forward to waking up each morning refreshed and ready to take on the day to it's fullest. That might seem foreign to you now, but that's just the alcohol controlling your thoughts. Over sober time those thoughts will diminish. Only you can help yourself though. We will be here to support you though. Please take that step and stop drinking. Post your thoughts and feelings. Read and post often.

Have a great day and weekend all!

[lifechange]

hi Everyone!
Elvis, that was just what I needed to hear. It's 8pm here and I'm snug at home with no reason to go out again.. sharing the evening with my daughter, watching some Modern Family. It's so f******* hard to start over. I know it will get easier and reading about how so many people LOVE their sober lives really helps. I want that!

reading this also helped me today..just as I was thinking about the importance of one day at a time..from hazelden

One Day at a Time

My best friend was going through some tough situations in her life. I was in the midst of a hard stretch too. We didn't particularly like the things we had to do in our lives. We talked about our feelings and decided that what we were going through was necessary and important, even though we didn't like it. We expressed gratitude for our lives.

"It's still a dreadful time," I said.

"Brutal," she said. "I guess we're back to the old one-day-at-a-time approach. We're so lucky. What do people do that haven't learned that gem?"

There are times when we can look at the stretch ahead and like what we see. Taking life one day at a time is still a good idea, even when things are going well.

Taking life one day at a time can be particularly useful when the road ahead looks dreadful. We may not even know where to start with some challenges. That's when taking life one day at a time is essential.

"I've been using alcohol and other drugs every day since I've been twelve years old," I said to my counselor years ago in treatment. "Now you're telling me I need to stay sober the rest of my life. Plus get a job. And a life. How am I going to do that?"

"One day at a time," she said. She was right. Sometimes I had to take life one minute at a time or one hour at a time. And all these years later, it still works.

hope you're all having a good evening..

[Dutch1988]

I am down with the one day ta a time approach, that is a much needed reminder for me today, not that my next two days is that that difficult on the work front, but I am not feeling 100% on the inside today, so I will try to not focus on what is to come and instead be present for the now.

I have been doing much better this week in terms of mindset. I think I have learned from listening to Bubble Hour, reading posts on here, and speaking with others that it is OKAY to feel bad for hours...days...even weeks depending on the circumstances. I think now that I have experienced one of the harder things in my life, I will bounce back faster, I wont let things effect me quite as hard a second time, I'll keep meditating and exercising like I was, mindfulness meditation has been such a powerful coping strategy for me. Just sitting and watching my thoughts. I am at least at conscious incompetence when it comes to noticing the things that aggravate me. I'll have a thought, a little care or worry, and when I am in a good mood no big deal, when I am feeling low it used to kick me into a downward spiral. Sitting with myself for 20 minutes a day has made me much more observant of my thoughts, I rarely just feel bad now, I know what thought triggered feeling bad, and I can at least label it and then move on. Helps a great deal with not letting the world get too big for my shoulders.

Today my best friends and brother are off to Vegas for my friend's bachelor party. I chose to stay home and keep the business open since our coverage fell through. I am not afraid of "giving in" in Vegas, but I am starting to care less and less about making this quit permanent, which can't be good. Reading posts on here like the one above reminds me that I need to stay on this train. Plus i have bought like 5 pounds of tea, I can't very well not drink it, and I know if I start drinking alcohol again I doubt i will be pounded this tea. Happy weekend everyone!

[NoSugar]

I am not afraid of "giving in" in Vegas, but I am starting to care less and less about making this quit permanent, which can't be good.

Dutch, I agree that this isn't good. You've made it through the hardest part of the whole business. I can't imagine why you'd risk going through all that again. Once a person has come here, their days of "carefree" drinking are pretty much a thing of the past. Either that first drink will lead to over-drinking or you'll be worried it will. You'll not be able to truly unlearn all you've discovered about yourself. You may be able to push it aside for awhile, but you won't be able to relax and enjoy drinking as you probably used to do. And even if you do push past all that and make it to the point of total escape, you'll be waking up the next day to the same old issues, and on top of that the realization that you gave up what you've achieved. I think that after as long AF as you are, it's time to just be practical about the situation. You're no longer physically addicted. Your head is clear and you can make logical decisions given the facts as you know them. I think if you list them, you'll see many reasons for keeping this quit permanent - there's really no reason not to.

All the best, NS

[blackflag]

Just checking in before bed, today's been a busy one. Spent the evening with my good friend (let him know I wouldn't be drinking with plenty of notice to avoid questions) watched some tv and chatted. Was a very nice Friday evening, and a far cry from the usual.
Night all.

BF

[available]

morning loamers

Glad everyone is checking in to be accountable. Even though i have a great support network with my 4 children i still need to come to mwo to be totally accountable daily, even if it is just to read. Being an alcoholic i used to be extremely devious in my drinking so i could get my share of al, i choose not to be that person anymore.

Dutch having those "feck it" thoughts are not good. Make your priority not drinking, you will regret it if you do drink. I look at what al gave me in my life and it was just pain, heartache, remorse, guilt, shame and the list goes on and on. I cant live in the past but the future to me now seems like a dream i am living in and its great. I am grateful to have this chance at life again even if i am 51. Dont waste your life wishing you could drink or wanting to drink. Who wants to live in hell!

There will come a time where you dont live one minute at a time or one day at a time. I can go weeks now without a single thought of al and time gives me this gift. Time is a great healer.

Well i am off shopping for some wool, winter is a great knitting season for me. Robert has his operation on Monday and it seems to be getting more detailed in what they are doing. He will now end up in ICU and i just hope he makes it through to have quality of life. If he does die then it will be a very very sad day for me, i have to think positive, i know, but he is already very very sick. I respect his decision and i can only be there for him. I am so glad i do not drink, i know i have done every single thing possible to make his life a better one and as i said to someone today that would never ever have happened if i had my head in a bottle.

Take care everyone.

[Lavande]

Good evening Nesters,

Another super hot & humid day coming to an end, thank goodness, yuck.

Ava, I am glad too that Robert has you for a friend. I wish the best for him & you too!

Dutch, good decision skipping the Vegas party - who needs that anyway?
Staying positive & protecting your quit will serve you well, you'll see

LC, hang in there!

Wishing everyone a safe & comfy night in the nest! Let's all have a wonderful AF weekend.

Lav

[lifechange]

Sitting with myself for 20 minutes a day has made me much more observant of my thoughts, I rarely just feel bad now, I know what thought triggered feeling bad, and I can at least label it and then move on. Helps a great deal with not letting the world get too big for my shoulders.

I like this, Dutch.. I've managed to totally abandon my meditation practice. The times I've made the commitment to practice on a daily basis have been the times I've been most honest with myself. I stopped meditating when I decided to try again to be a "normal" drinker and I've been hesitating to begin again. Thanks for the reminder.
I've let myself fool myself so many times with the desire to be a "normal" drinker. Or with the thought that I can drink this "one time" to escape from my troubles or to celebrate a special event. What a load of shit! I feel like a real dummy for letting myself fall into the trap.
I AM an alcoholic (thanks Byrdie) and though I hate labels, this is one that tells the truth about me. I have PROVEN it and I will stop fooling myself. I am making the commitment to live a sober life and I will do anything I must to ensure that I don't drink. No matter what, no matter who, no matter why.

[Matt M.]

Dutch- By coming in here and sharing that you are getting the thought to drink is proof that you are gearing up and prepping yourself to stay and win this battle.
You know you can't do this by yourself. We are your soldiers ready to help face this bastard head on.

That feeling you are having of doubting if you want to make this quit permanent, is a scary one, and thoughts like that can and gave led many of us back to the hell we came from. Good for you on choosing not to go to Vegas, but, continue to be mindful of your Al voice trying to convince you that your not ready for permanent quit.

It has helped me to write out on paper what Alcohol took from me, and when these thoughts arise, I read it over and over.
There is a 100% chance you can't do this by yourself.
Feel free to lean on me, I can always use another accountability partner...

Stay Close and Hard my friend!