Newbies Nest

[lifechange]

Sounds like you have a nice Sunday planned, Hanna!
very COOL! that you live near another Nester, you lucky ducks!

[Lavande]

Good Sunday morning Nesters,

Taking my time coming to consciousness this morning, enjoying the coffee

LC, don't worry about being crabby, it's temporary. Your body & mind are detoxing, be kind to yourself. This time next week you will feel like a champion! Kicking AL out of my life was the best decision for me, you can do it too!

Welcome back Hanna. Glad you had some time away. I hope you can move through these changes in your life with grace & ease. We will be here to support you the best we can.

I am expecting kids & grandkids today, will be cooking out & all that.
I remain grateful for my AF'ness!

Have a great AF day everyone!

Lav

[abcowboy]

[frances]

I really liked that article too, Blackflag. Two things stood out for me:

"there was something fundamentally wrong about losing the narrative of my own life."

And

"I climb into my bed and cry huge howling sobs. Real drunks wait and watch for the moment they hit bottom. As I lay in my hotel bed, covers pulled up to my neck, I felt the gratitude of a woman who knows, finally, she is done.

But I drank on the flight home. And I drank for five more years."

A reminder of how many times we tell ourselves we're done and keep on with same sad behavior. and when we finally do get "out", over time it's so important to remember, always, what got us here and how badly we wanted to be DONE with this!

[Mischa]

Good morning everybody. Today is day 3 for me. I decided to start posting to this thread so I can get to know everybody a bit better. I had been following another thread and I do recognize abcowboy. Well I had a quiet night of call so I was able to get some sleep, although I did wake up every couple of hours. Still, it was a good night rest for me. I crawled into bed early last night to keep from drinking. How sad is that, eh? Even when I'm on call I still want to drink. Even knowing I could get called back to the hospital at any time for an emergency, I still want to drink. I find that so sad and at the same time I'm thinking to myself just how arrogant I am. What makes me so special that I can have a drink while the rest of my call team can't? Ugh.

Today is a new day and physically I feel pretty good. My anxiety is in full swing though. These call weekends really kick my ass. At the same time though it's making it a bit easier not to drink. My big concern now is how I'm going to cope when I go off call tomorrow. I would always treat myself to a few drinks as a reward for getting through the weekend. What do I do when I no longer have the excuse that, "I can't drink (much) because I'm on call?" These are things that make me anxious.

Anyway, I'm stuck at home for the most part while I wait for my pager to go off. So I'm going to stick to this forum and read, read, read. Thanks and I hope everyone has a great day!

[Byrdlady]

Mischa, dont forget to eat! Shifting your idea of what a reward is will help too! Why not reward yourself with the best ice cream cone you can find? (Sorry, NS!) or treat yourself to finding and savoring a fresh baked cookie? Tricks like this helped me and got my mind off what I was trying NOT to think about. It will get easier with each passing day! This is a beast that must be starved to death! You are doing great!

Dont underestimate the power of this addiction, stay strong and slam the door on the Bastard! Do not let him get a toe in the door, he will inch his way in! Say NO, HELL NO! AL will not claim one more day of my life! Byrdie

[Rahulthesweet]

Hi All,

It's been a while since I posted here.

Have been on long vacation and right now in Canadian Rockies.Except for the waether all is good.

Misha, it is good you came on to this thread and started posting. I too used to drink eeryday and today I am one year plus AL free. Being sober is like a ticket to freedom. But its hard and difficult ride. I believe it is important for you to find a support mechanism. People who have gone thru the similar problems can guide you better. Whether it's offline meetings like AA or places like this one.

Do me it has been been a hard but a worthwhile journey. I recall during early months I used to post every day. Whenever used to do in my mind, days events etc. It was a good vent for me to express and take tuff out. People here have good ear and really guide and appreciate as they all are in and boat.

Take a day at a time. Like byrdlady suggested and I will agree : make sure your stomach is full all the time especially during evening when cravings get to their peak. I used to stuff myself with food eveveryday even got hooked to soda and ice creams. Better than drinking !! Then I used to listen to podcasts like he bubble hour and online AA meetings recordings. And I some times still do. Watched a lot of YouTube videos on alcoholism's . like one everyday day. Read lots of books.

After a while you will start appreciating like the way one is supposed to be lives. I guess once our brain adjusts from the extreme highs and lows of drug. You will notice you will start getting high on normal things in like : kids, movies, rain on a dry hot day, or even glass of lemonade after a work out.

You cannot run away from AL it is all round. But initially stay away from it...

It is a beautiful journey, hard one but it has its rewards. And you are at the right place. Just like I feel I am today here in Rocky Mountains in Canada ... Completely sober !!!

[Marylou123]

Hi everyone - happy Sunday!

Blackflag - great article - I've pre-ordered the book. Thank you so much.

Life is good - visiting mom this weekend and getting together with Hannah in a couple of hours - and really, really looking forward to it.

Rahul - so good to hear from you. I don't post as often either but I do read daily. I miss your travel logs! Glad things are going well.

Ava - you've inspired me to rearrange the living room furniture and convince mom it's time for new carpet in her condo. Next trip down we'll pick it out and arrange installation. So thank you girlfriend! Sending prayers for Robert - you are one of his angels.

Have a great day all,
Marylou

[blackflag]

I was thinking of having a look at the book too, Marylou. Today's been fun, went to my local mountain biking centre and rode for a couple of hours, then watched a competition that was going on there. Now I'm home watching the football and making braised lamb I'd normally have a beer watching the game, but to be honest right now I'm just fine without. Have a good afternoon everyone!
BF

[available]

Hi nesters

Quick check in, a busy weekend. Thanks Mary, its nice to know i inspired someone. I am still getting this bedroom organised.

Roberts operation today, he is at peace with whatever will happen will happen, i am a mess, crying and hoping he will be okay. Its hard being strong sometimes but its not me dying and so i will be teary when i walk him to theatre but i hope with every ounce of my being that i see him tonight. I do know that drinking wont solve a god damn problem for me today but a good cry will work wonders.

Have a happy day everyone and be grateful you are all sober. It is one of the things of have total control over now and that feels so good.

[kherriot]

Well, another day at the gym all by myself. I don't understand why people say they are going to be there and then don't show up. Oh well, feeling good about myself because I went anyways. Talked to the owner, it was just us but I still can't get him to come down and work out. Will see who shows up on Tuesday. Unexpected company this weekend but it was all good. Hope everyone has a good night.

[Lavande]

Good evening Nesters,

Almost midnight so I guess this long day is over. It was good having everyone over even though it rained on our cookout, ha ha!

Welcome Mischa, glad you decided to join us. We have lots on newbies working their plans right now, you can do it too!

Hi there Marylou!

Ava, I'll keep you & Robert in my thoughts & hope everything works out for the best :hug:

kherriot, I am the queen of dealing with unexpected guests, LOL
As long as they don't expect anything too fancy that is

Have a safe night in the nest everyone. More thunderstorms expected here, oh well.

Lav

[Samstone]

thinking of you and Robert, Ava
Sam

[narilly]

Rahul, I live right by the Rocky Mountains. I can see them from my city of Calgary. Glad you are enjoying them sober.
It's been raining all weekend here too Lav. We had our block party cancelled yesterday because of it.

Ava, thinking of you and Robert. You are a good friend.

Have a good night everyone. Looking forward to an Un Hung Monday morning.

[Pavati]

Hi, Nest:

Back from a quick getaway with DH - we had a very nice time. Part of it was that I was in a "whatever comes" mood, and I didn't try to control everything. The hotel, food, etc. were all just "ok" which in the past might have made me pissy, but I just eased into relaxing and having fun spending time with him. So much easier to accept that which I cannot change...

I also was anxious today. My husband said "I wish there was something I could give you to help." I said - the good thing is that I know that this feeling will end, and I don't think I have to drink to get over it. Sometimes we feel bad - hold on, it WILL end.

Good to see you stick your noses in, MaryLou and Rahul (and Sam!).

Ava - thoughts are with you and Robert. What a wonderful friend you have been. xo

Thanks for that article, BF. I had occasional blackouts, too, but I was never so cavalier about them. I was afraid and embarrassed usually, as I had been sloppy in public usually. There are sometimes I remember that still make me shudder and realize that I am lucky to be alive, and lucky that I didn't get myself hurt or into a lot more trouble. SO HAPPY those days are over. Now when I hear a younger person say "I don't have a stop button," I want to say "then STOP now and save yourself some pain."

Off to bed - another UN HUNG weekend, right Narilly!

Pav