Newbies Nest

[Byrdlady]

Great job, Mischa! Getting thru those 'firsts' is hard but once you do it's 'been there, DONE THAT, BAAAM!' So glad that your rational brain won. You will be amazed at the good ideas our rational brain has! It's out to protect us and see to it we live another day! GREAT JOB on your victory! Tomorrow will be a whole week, that is EPIC!

Another day another dollar (and that's not so far from the truth!!) Let's see if I can go sell something! Hope everyone has a peaceful day! Byrdie

[abcowboy]

Wow, the Nest is a happening place! Great to see so many in here helping and supporting each other, and when the going gets tough, just remember Abraham Lincoln's words "The nice thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time"

on your 2 month milestone kherriot!

[blackflag]

Well done mischa! On my way home from work, practicing with the band tonight, so stocked up on na drinks for that. Moving onto a different team at work tomorrow, so that's a little stressful, but sure everyone'll be nice. Hope everyone is good today ill be back later on.

BF

[kherriot]

Is anyone else having problems with MYO. Comes up with "page cannot be displayed" them after a while it is ok? Just wondering

Thanks ABC

[Byrdlady]

I have been having some issues the past couple days, kharriot, and congrats on your two months!!!! That is fantastic!! I hope you are as proud as we are!!! :two: Go YOU!!! B

[crockettaa]

4:30 pm. I'm having a donut & a cup of tea instead of a beer & a bottle of wine. Pretty yummy!

I think the Britts are onto something here...

[kherriot]

Thanks BL I totally understand what newbies are saying about good and bad days. The way I look at it is tomorrow is another day and start fresh. I thought after awhile it would get easier but I guess not. When I quit smoking 3 years ago heard that 3 days, 3 months 3 years was the hardest. Funny thing is that I don't even think about smoking anymore. I truly believe nothing is going to change until you want it to, no one else can tell you what to do. I think that is why I love this site so much, not always on but check all the time to read the posts.

Thanks everyone

[available]

Morning nesters

Congratulations Kherrio on 2 months. A great achievement. I think it took me 7+ months to feel somewhat normal and i found growing up emotionally the hardest aspect to achieve. I cant fix everything, i just have to accept and go with the flow. I dont think i fixed much as a drunk, i just thought i did.

A wonderful start to the morning today, Robert and i had our first cup of coffee together in 2 months. He has been on clear fluids for that time so the small things in life are just the best and to be able to share them with him is so very very special.

May i also mention that the personal trainer is still a sadist.

Have a wonderful day everyone.

[kherriot]

Thanks AV my problems seem so small compared to yours. I hope things will get better but can only cross our fingers. Thanks for thinking of other people when you are going through hell. Good Luck We will all be praying.

[Orimus]

Been trying to stop the downhill slide for a year and a half. Still a respected member of my work peers being that I'my still trusted by various upper managers including my vp to handle things. Go in to work thinking meditation, Kung fun and qi gong after but leave thinking whiskey, beer and nicotine after. A week at a zen monastery with no ill effects .... want to scream. Same sh*t.

[abcowboy]

We often focus on how hard it is to quit and to stay sober. With this post, I want to focus on the positive sides of sobriety (other than not killing yourself and hurting everyone around you).

Before you think “oh no, another one who saw the light”, hold on. Life can still be a pain in the behind at times, sober or not. There is no difference in the number of bad things that can happen to you, sober or not. The main difference is probably how you react to them. How you handle them mentally. How you can bounce back.

For example: before I got sober I had a lot of arguments with Bubba. We still have disagreements, but they don’t turn into arguments anymore. Our relationship has changed though, there are a lot of changes, and the dynamics of living together are reshaped. The odd thing is, even during the worst of those disagreements – and as we are together 20 years now, we know exactly how to hurt each other at times… - no matter how bad or hurt I felt, I had one saving thought: “at least I’m not drinking anymore”. Instead of wanting a drink, I felt a huge and unfamiliar force, drawn from the fact that I was able to leave alcohol behind. Like with many feelings, it’s hard to explain in words, but apart from the shame for the things I have done previously, it grew on me, and I allowed myself to be proud. In turn, that gave and gives me the confidence to work towards solutions, towards a better way of being together.

There are so many things, some big, some little. Today I had a mentally and physically hard day at work. But I got through the day without thinking I needed a drink, and now I’m relaxed, happy, and able to think clearly as I write this post.

The panic attacks… what’s a panic attack? They used to be heavy and crushing. Combined with hyperventilation they left me in a constant state of fight or flight. Imagining having a heart attack. Today: gone. I’m not saying I’m always calm (that will never happen) but I no longer feel panic. No more hyperventilation either.

Motivation. Alcohol robs you of the will to attack things. I was always very motivated in everything I did. Never could do things in half. Until the drinking became a problem, and the panic attacks were joined by a general sense of depression and doom. It robbed me of the will to live, the will to improve my situation, the will to enjoy life… Today, even though I’m older now, that motivation is back. Repairing and upgrading the house. Gardening. Tending to and enjoying time with Hank. Mind you, I have learned to also take a break, to not force myself when stuff doesn’t work out. The manic part of the motivation is bad for me, and I can recognize and deal with it today. The manic part is part of what put me in trouble with alcohol.

Tinnitus: although not totally gone, it has become a minor annoyance. It’s there 2 or 3 days per week, but nowhere near the “screaming” it was back when I was drinking.

There are many many more things, some big, some small. I’m not trying to sell you anything. I’m not painting a rosy picture, but I do notice and enjoy lots and lots of improvements in my quality of life. Some I hoped for, some were totally unexpected. Some made me rethink everything, did I drink because I felt depressed and anxious, or did drinking make me depressed an anxious? Clearly it was the latter in my case. I have learned to let things slide – because it’s an important part of being sober for me. I’m looking forward to being sober for the rest of my life. And I hope – if you haven’t decided yet – to have given you a glimpse of the kind of things that can happen when you take that step.

[Lavande]

Good evening Nesters,

Late check in for me, busy, busy.

Orimus, glad you checked in but sorry you are having a hard time. is there anything you can change in your plan/daily routine that would help. Addressing all of our individual drinking triggers is the best place to start. Have you looked thru the Tool box lately? Something there just may be your answer. Wishing you the best!

Kherriot, CONGRATS to you today on your 2 AF months, great work!

Ava, wonderful news about Robert, I hope the coffee was good. And I hope you recover quickly from your workout

Wishing everyone a safe & comfy night in the nest!

Lav

[Orimus]

Learning one more trigger Lav. Feel like I should'be earlier but ....the path we traveled reveals the lesson. Just feel like an idiot. Prefer to be interested in the tricks the mind can play but .... Small surgery on someone else but huge surgery on me. Thanks.

[Pavati]

Hi, Everyone:

Sorry I've been MIA - a lot going on here.

Welcome back Croketta! I can't say more than has already been said.

Hi everyone else. Ava, glad to hear Robert is ok after the surgery. I'm waiting to hear about that balloon ride...

Kherriot - congrats on your 2 month milestone.

Hanna - Silver linings... Stay strong - we're here for you.

LC - Way to stay strong.

Misha - Aren't UN HUNG mornings the best?

Cowboy - nice post as always. I followed NS into the Lav advice of remembering how many things were made better by not drinking.

I concur with Ava - took me most of a year to feel normal almost all of the time without drinking. Each milestone made the harder times less frequent. I still feel the tug sometimes - not really a tug more of a thought or a memory - but I know I don't drink, so it doesn't last long.

Good night all.

Pav

[blackflag]

Morning, great post cowboy, just what I needed this morning!