Newbies Nest

[Guitarista]

Hey friends,

Thanks for the congrat's on the grand opening of 7 to 7000 for the young man abroad!

Speaking of snakes, I recall a housemate I had when I was travelling in Europe for awhile years ago telling me she had a dream where there were snakes around me. Meaning in her culture (Brazillian) that this was not a good omen. She was right, with regard to feeling a bit lost at the time and boozing life away. Despite a few achievements and good times, booze has held me back and masked my potential. I have rarely been my best self. Time to stop ripping myself off, and it starts here. From 7 to 7000. Day 8.

The weekend ain't no ticket to boozeville. Take it easy and love yourself a little.

Safe travels Jane and family!

[LavenderBlue]

Hey Matt - You are definitely not alone with financial stuff taking a long time to sort out. I sometimes get pretty frustrated about how far I still have to go, it can get pretty disheartening. When it's getting to me, I try to take some time and really think about how far I *have* come, and remember that all I did was make it worse while I was drinking. I also (and this is hard for me sometimes) remind me myself that I am 100% NOT the first or last person to have financial issues, and not the first or last to have those issues due to addiction. I know part of my embarrassment is feeling like I'm unique in how much I screwed up, that I am the worst ever...and the thing is that's not true. Good luck with things, and I hope they're looking better soon.

In other news, I wound up driving out of town to pick up some animals that had been at the vet today. On the way out, I passed a place I used to get liquor from on Sundays. Sunday sales aren't legal in my state, but I'm right near the state line... The thing is, the closest place is this absolute dive bar that also does offsale. Anyway, driving past I remembered all the times I'd drive out that way just to make sure I had enough to last the weekend, paid what I'm sure was an inflated price, and even went when the weather was horrible. I'm very thankful not to have driven out that way in so long.

Long day though, and it's really starting to hit me, think my brain just died between one sentence and another. Good thoughts and support out to everyone in the Nest, though!

[Lavande]

Good evening Nesters,

I am glad this week is coming to an end. Too many weather related challenges for me, ha ha!
Everything is fixed & working again in our area but the neighboring county still has been problems with no power & roads being blocked with fallen trees.

Matt, hang in there. You will get your finances sorted a little at a time. Make a plan to pay off those credit cars & then get rid of them. I wish we could fix everything the day we quit but it doesn't work that way. You are welcome to come help me sort out flower beds now that yours are done I was sitting in one of my flower beds pulling weeds when I realized my 98 lb dog was sitting right in there watching me, ha ha!!

Jane, keep your cool & enjoy your vacation
Find a way to get a little 'alone time' so the troop doesn't wear you out!!

peppersnow, good to see you!

Lil, oh those dreams. Freaky, aren't they?

Hi there LavB, things certainly have changed in a good way for you

G, keep going buddy!

Wishing everyone a safe & comfy night in the nest!

Lav

[Matt M.]

LavB- Thank you!, your words were exactly what I needed to hear, it's all about gratitude.
Your post made me laugh, I can't imagine or fathom how much time was wasted just preparing for drinking FFS! 😝🔫

Lavande- I am hacking away at those credit cards....
Loved your flower bed helper picture. I'm thinking flower bed work in your neck of the woods is bearable, you actually have four seasons....Thank you for being you.

Mr G- Great to have you around, get off that merry go round and strap in for the long haul!

Stay Hard Weirdos!

[little beagle]

Snicker doodles. That's fun to say.
G I got so tired of cheating myself out of life. Onward and upwards.
Matt i understand the frustration of having your finances screwed up. Yep. I'm still there. But it will get better for you. Have you really done your own IV? And I could use help in my flowerbed/garden.
Now if you could teach that dog to help weed Lav. Yes we got that much rain. I had to take pictures. I never saw that much water that fast, almost biblical.
Happy unhung weekend everyone.
Welcome Fairydust. Hang tough.

[Pavati]

Hi, Nest:

Welcome, Fairydust. I LOVE your name. Sprinkle some of it around, would you?

I just returned from a fabulous retirement party - no booze desired, although plenty was had by others. Phew...

I just got distracted by a million things and now I can't remember who said what. Something about Byrdie mooning Mr. G who is charming snakes while LavB is saving animals, Matt is giving himself an IV, Jane is going eastward with the Beverly Hillbillies, and Lil is making snickerdoodles. I'm in...

Hope you all have fabulous SOBER weekends.

Pav

[lifechange]

Morning, Nesters!

Glad you cleared that all up Pav! I was getting all the posts mixed up myself! Where is it we are? There's no place like home...

Matt, and all, thanks for sharing about your troubles with the finances. I'm really afraid of the hole I've dug myself into and am just beginning to look upwards to try and figure out how to get myself out. Did you have someone help you figure out a plausible payback plan? I guess my first step would just be getting it all down on paper..

Pepper, thank you for that post. It was exactly what I needed to hear. I've been beating myself up the past couple of days, wondering why I haven't been able to get myself out of this hell once and for all. How after all I've read, how many times I've been in the position of having a few AF weeks under my belt, how much I've seen and heard here on the boards, that f****** voice still has the power to get into my head. How many times I've fallen for it. I have been questioning whether or not it's possible for me to stay quit and change my life or whether or not I should just give up. My longest time sober was 4 months 2 years ago.. so I know I haven't really given myself a fair chance.

Gman, Congrats on the first 8 of 7000! You sound really positive and ready to kick this thing once and for all!

We had some guests come in yesterday to stay with us for 2 weeks.. friends of my partner from a long time back. I'd met the man once and wasn't very fond of him, so was dreading a bit having to entertain him plus wife and kid.. I kept trying to remind myself that 9 times out of 10, when I'm dreading/wanting to avoid something I end up being pleasantly surprised with the reality of the situation. I'm so good at building false pictures/dramas in my mind. Instead of being open for possibility (Life) I'm dreaming up worst case scenarios. I didn't let it get so out of control this time, thank goodness, and they've turned out to be such a nice family. Especially the wife.. we met and it was as if we'd known eachother forever. So, another good lesson..

Jane, I hope you have a great trip!
Welcome to Fairydust!

Wishing everyone a lovely Saturday. An easy, grateful to be alive kind of day..

[Dutch1988]

Haven't had the time to read everyone's posts, but I a, still around. I keep writing posts and then not posting them, main thing is i am doing fine, although I have slacked on my meditation and exercise this week. Still going to grappling for me, still not drinking soda or alcohol, although way more sugar this week than I want to admit. i think I finally figured out a way to work 5 days a week instead of 6, without messing with my financial situation too much. this is a big deal to me, as I have been working six days a week for the past 7 and a half years. It's not about the hours, I technically pull less than 40 hours a week some weeks. It's about the mentally having to go in when I am already an introvert and drain myself running classes, socializing, and forcing myself to do things I wouldn't do unless I was being paid to. I am hoping to have more time with the wife and kid, and get back to training the basics of my first martial art I mostly teach as well. Have a good night all!

[Lizann]

Hi nestmates,
Packing for the *BIG* family vaca that kicks off tomorrow. Our first vaca away with extended family ...all under one roof for a week. Roll call includes us & the boys (16 & 20), BIL/SIL & 2 kids (2,3), MIL, FIL & MIL's health aid. You could say I'm nervous!

Historically(before sobriety) everything about traveling was an extra huge drunk. I mean MASSIVE. From the minute I'd start to pack,(regardless of the time of day naturally) the booze would flow freely; Cause of that is divided between: 1) packing anxiety and 2) wanting to ensure a solid buzz during travel time (No fear of flying involved in that). I am thankful that I don't have to deal with liquor management logistics, and I'm not craving AL- bust just thought I would share how totally reckless an event the going away process has been for the greater part of the last 2 decades. Anyone else experience this?

Wishing everyone strength & a great weekend. Hoping I'll be able to check in and post a bit while I am away. xoxoxo

Oh my jane yes! We are leaving this Friday and my aniexty is at an all time high! Packing while drunk, I almost always forget something, things get dumped in the suitcase. Trying to find ways to hide the al in the suitcase. It's exhausting.
Have a wonderful time!

[Lavande]

Good Saturday morning Nesters,

Looks like a rain filled weekend for me - oh well. I know the weeds will take advantage & get ahead of me, ha ha. Looks like I am not going to ever win that battle

Dutch, glad you checked in & are doing well. Finding a way to spend more time with the family is great. The little ones grow so quickly & you don't want to miss that fun

Glad to see everyone & wishing a wonderful AF day for all!

Lav

[Byrdlady]

Pepper, thank you for that post. It was exactly what I needed to hear. I've been beating myself up the past couple of days, wondering why I haven't been able to get myself out of this hell once and for all. How after all I've read, how many times I've been in the position of having a few AF weeks under my belt, how much I've seen and heard here on the boards, that f****** voice still has the power to get into my head. How many times I've fallen for it. I have been questioning whether or not it's possible for me to stay quit and change my life or whether or not I should just give up. My longest time sober was 4 months 2 years ago.. so I know I haven't really given myself a fair chance. ..

LavB, Amen to this. When I started all this sober stuff, I had NO IDEA the power of this addiction. And as smart as I THOUGHT I was, we cannot outsmart it. I have never seen anyone out-maneuver AL and I have looked (being a sore loser about it all!). I was two years sober when NoSugar came along. She was the first person I ever talked to in person about this. I dont remeber exactly, but I think what prompted the phone call was that a long timer had fallen, and it shook us both up! She said something that has stuck with me to this day: Staying sober is our CHOICE. It is NOT inevitable that we relapse. It is totally up to us. That was empowering. I will NOT be a victim to AL anymore. I understand its power and as long as I do not USE it, I will win. Thats all I have to do to stay out of the grim statistcs related to AL. I underatand that I am in remissison and the best way to get back into full blown disease is to 'test the waters'. I HAVE THE POWER. Thank you, NS, for the conversation that day.

Stay the course, everyone! I promise you, it IS worth the discomfort. MindPeace, Byrdie

[NoSugar]

EDIT: Looks like Behan deleted his post ...

Hi, Behan

The meds threads has many viable options that, if they work for a particular person, should lead to the mind peace we speak about here. Most of us make it to a site like this not because we've gotten a DUI or lost our homes or something like that but because we can no longer take the internal conflict that alcohol is causing us. We're not looking for nirvana - we want to be able to live our lives free of the dictator that for most of us alcohol had become. I don't think any of us discount the role pharmaceuticals can have in treating addiction but speaking for myself, I certainly would not want to suggest something to others that I've not tried myself.

Byrdie, I remember that conversation! I'm sure my voice was shaking because I had NEVER verbalized my situation before - even to people in my real life. It was liberating! I still believe now as I did then - once a person has been AF long enough that the desire to drink is no longer interpreted by a mis-wired brain as an imperative for survival, drinking again is a choice. That doesn't mean it is easy to make the right decision and shut down that 'voice' that LC referred to but if you've put the support tools (and people) in place, you can do it.

I respect the power alcohol can have over me (although I have no respect for the drug itself!) but I'm not afraid of it anymore. By checking in here daily, I don't let myself become complacent about that awesome and awful power and it keeps my commitment central to my thinking. It isn't the negative "always thinking about not drinking" of the early days - it's just a reminder to be grateful about how life is now. And when you encourage others, you remind and encourage yourself. Plus, it keeps me in touch with people I know I can turn to if/when I'm in a situation where making the right choice might be tough. I've not experienced an enormous stress in the last couple years but, as family members age, I know some tough times are coming. I want to be in position to handle it without resorting to alcohol, with the tools I've developed, and with the help of friends. I am sure it can be done.

Have a great Saturday, Nesters!

[Byrdlady]

NS, I saw the post before it was deleted, Yours was (as always) a thoughtful response. If we can achieve sobriety with our decisions and behaviors, I have to think that is preferable to introducing another medication into the mix. Getting control of our minds is the first step in combatting this. We've seen time and time again if your mind isn't in the right place, the drugs aren't going to work either. Just my two cents, B

[LilBit]

Good Saturday morning Nesters,
Looks like a rain filled weekend for me - oh well. I know the weeds will take advantage & get ahead of me, ha ha. Looks like I am not going to ever win that battle

Lav, it's a nefarious plot! Had you looked outside yesterday, you would have witnessed the Stella Dandelion-inducing Rain Dance.

[Mstall]

Hi Nesters! It's been awhile since i posted and thought i'd drop by and update you all. I am just over 7 months of happily sober! Never thought i'd ever make it this far after a bazillion previous attempts. I finally got my head in the right place and i just went with it. I go to an occasional AA meeting when i feel i need some extra support, I also have a therapist i see once a month now to keep my head in the right place. I've lost 12 pounds, i gave up sugar and cut out a lot of carbs. I went vegan for a five months but decided that real food was better than pretend dairy, meat, etc. Also was worried about all the soy i was eating. I haven't smoke in 7+ months. I am still on the patch but my doctor tells me as long as i don't smoke, he doesn't care how long i stay on it. I'm thinking maybe at a year i'll stop buying them.

Some things haven't changed, I still cannot post pics even with Brydies help!! I still get angry, sad, annoyed, worried but i don't need AL to make that better anymore.

It's just so freeing! I will never look back. I will never take that first drink again, mainly out of fear that i wouldn't be able to quit again.

Oh, and my SKIN!! so much better! I look 5-10 years younger than my age.

Done with the rant. Have a great weekend all. Thanks Cowboy for always thinking of me. Stay strong and make good choices.