Newbies Nest

[narilly]

Enzo, it WAS that bad and will never get better, only worse. Don't drink today, watch some good TV and have a good sleep. You will feel so much better in the morning. There is no way having a drink will lead to anything good. Think it through. What happens after you have one? You have another and another and then maybe you stop tonight but then tomorrow you will drink again and the cycle begins.

Have a super sober night.
Narilly

[LilBit]

Fires and Canucks and Bears -- oh my! The nest has been busy.

Pauly, I remember the slips you described (showing my age). We ditched them, and then we all ditched pantyhose. I shudder to think of what we might remove from our wardrobes next.

LilBeag, I hope your hubby gets the drug thing under control, too. That must be tough. My fiance spends his days in a haze of weed and AL. I broached the subject of denial with him the other night and unfortunately, he's in it so deep that I wonder if he'll ever decide to deal with it. At least the cat isn't selfish -- or no more so than all cats naturally are.

Lav, Happy Anniversary. I am always impressed with people who manage to stay together for a long time without homicide. And yes, Crazy Ivan got a treat for his heroic act.

Pav, thanks so much. And getting sober showed my stubbornness more than anything. Every attempt on his part to get me to drink just makes me that more determined not to. At this point, I'd rather walk on my lips than give him the satisfaction.

Dutch, my quit-twin, stay strong!

'Lovely little thief you have there, Karen.

Ava & Pav, 19 months! Wowee!!! Color me impressed.

Ava, great job on checking in and not letting lying AL ruin your 6-month quit.

Happy Hump Day, all, and keep up the good stuff.

[Mr Vervill]

Lilbit,
Your posts crack me up, Thanks!
Karen, love the posts of the bear cub, hope momma and cub soon vanish, though,

[Lavande]

Good evening Nesters,

Just wanted to drop in & wish everyone a safe night in the nest!
Took the old man out for a bite to eat & a walk thru Longwood Gardens, ha ha! They had a special event tonight called Nightscapes using light & sound in & around the conservatory, very nice. There was another special event going on that required everyone to walk around with a glass of wine or beer in their hand, ho hum. That didn't impress me a bit.

Congrats to Ava & Pav on your 19 months, very nice.
Jennie, great on your 6 months & I hope you were able to quiet the monkey mind.

Karen, very nice bear cub you have there ~ geez! I'd stay in the house too

Lil, I'm glad you have Crazy Ivan on your side

Peace to everyone!

Lav

[Dutch1988]

Here's to another day without drinking

[enzo'smomf/k/ajenniech]

thank you for your support last night!!! With 6 months AF, I have amassed great knowledge and tools. I have discovered what makes me think and feel certain things….and I understand that feelings are not facts and that feelings will pass….the urges to drink are gone after 6 months. But the thoughts creep into my mind when I am very tired and hungry, like last night. These AL thoughts try to trick me, but I am stronger and each day that I am further from AL, the stronger I am to FIGHT the beast!!
So, with that said, thank you for helping me through last night. I did think it through and knew what to do. I ate dinner, drank some water and hit the bed early. To be honest, once I ate dinner, the mind games ended. So there you have it. I was very hungry and very tired but because I have been drinking for so many years alcoholicly my brain is still wired to go to thoughts of drinking rather than what I really needed - food and rest.
I am very well rested this morning. I have a whole new perspective.
One of the greatest things in sobriety is the ability to have a bad night like last night, but then, after a good night's sleep, feel like an entirely new person, happy and free of the bondage of AL….I don't have a hangover today. My blackboard has been erased. I get to start again new and refreshed……

SO…..my babbling has lead me to a new realization: I finally understand WHY people say the first 30 days are the hardest…..I never agreed with that because I thought the first 30 days were easier because during my first of the first 30 days i have had in the past, I had the resolve to stop drinking….I was motivated…..but with time, the resolve weakened…..NOW I understand that the first 30 days are hardest because in your first 30 days you have not gained the knowledge of tools and know what to do in a situation like I had last night. THere are no sober references. SO I get it finally….and I have a newfound respect for anyone in their first 30 to 90 days sober. It is hard to fight without weapons. And only time will give those weapons to you!!!!!

Love and peace :happy2:

[Eloise]

You sound like you are doing Great Enzo's mom! So happy for you.
And those drinking thoughts get easier to squash with time. The sober first keep coming too, even after a year (for me at least). All worth it, every effort!

[Hanna]

Hi nesters

Still going strong AL wise. I look forward to FINALLY telling you I made 30 days CONSECUTIVELY. Not there yet, but I will let you all know when I get there.

Last night I went to a "meetup". Basically a group I have joined before of people who meet at happy hour and/or dinner I haven't gone for awhile, because of fear of temptation to drink, but I like this group, and I am always looking for activities to get out of the house when my husband is home. I have run out of movies, the last being the Pixar movie Inside Out where I sat with many toddlers .

First thing I did was order food and my club soda with cran. After I ate I was fine, and I noticed many there chose not to drink. I felt proud of myself but also sad, that I am hiding from my own home. The situation is so tough, and at this point I just want the financials done so the house can go n the market Nd I can find my own place, in spite of how sad that makes me.

I am working on finding places to stay over the weekends, which are particularly tough. This weekend I will stay at my moms, next one I will be at a conference, and we will see after that.

Staying strong, but life is really tough. I haven't had a day without constantly thinking about my marriage/divorce since the end of March. It is getting to be a long time without a happy day.

But, I am proud to be sober, so trying to focus on that.

[Lavande]

Good morning Nesters,

Looks like a rain day here in Lav-land.

Hanna, glad you are hanging in during all these changes in your life. You will emerge stronger so try to stay positive. I have found qthat we really are what we think!

Hello to everyone & wishing a great AF Thursday for all

Lav

[Byrdlady]

Good morning!

As we in the U.S. go into this holiday weekend, I thought I might pull out something from the Tool Box. There will be LOTS of temptation this weekend, and for anyone here who says to him/her self, "Maybe I wasn't THAT bad!" take a read of this. The Take-Aways: If you weren't that bad, you wouldn't be joined on an online forum for AL abuse, and if you aren't that bad now, this thing is progressive, eventually, you WILL BE THAT BAD. So before you get any crazy thoughts, I wanted to yank you back to reality and urge you to STAY the course....no matter what! (I sure wish I had stopped at Stage 1!!)

Alcoholism: The First Stage

In the first stage of alcoholism, drinking is no longer social but becomes a means of emotional escape from inhibitions, problems, inhibitions. During the first stage of alcoholism, drinking is, in many instances, a psychological attempt to escape from reality. Early in the disease an individual starts to depend on the mood-altering effects of alcohol.

Another characteristic of the first stage of alcoholism is that a slow and gradual increase in tolerance develops, meaning that more and more amounts of alcohol are needed for the individual to "get high" or to "feel the buzz." For example, it is common for problem drinkers in the first stage of alcoholism to start gulping one or two drinks before attending a social function and then to increase social drinking to 3 to 5 drinks per day.

Alcoholism: The Second Stage

In the second stage, the need to drink becomes more powerful. It is common during this stage for the problem drinker to start to drink earlier in the day.

As tolerance increases, the individual drinks, not because of psychological tension or stress relief, but because of his or her dependence on alcohol. During this stage of the disease, even though the "loss of control" does not occur on a regular basis, it is, nevertheless, starting to become more noticeable by others such as relatives, family members, neighbors, friends, and co-workers.

Also during this stage of the disease, the problem drinker may begin to feel more concerned and embarrassed about his or her drinking. Often during this stage, problem drinkers are unsuccessful in their attempts to stop drinking.

In this stage, physical symptoms such as hangovers, blackouts, hand tremors, and stomach problems increase. Interestingly, instead of seeing their drinking as the root of the many problems and issues they experience, however, drinkers with a drinking problem in this stage frequently start to blame others and things external to themselves for their difficulties.

Alcoholism: The Third Stage

In the third stage, the loss of control becomes more severe and more observable. This means that problem drinkers are unable to drink in accordance with their intentions. Once the person takes the first drink, he or she commonly can no longer control further drinking behavior, in spite of the fact that the intent might have been to have just "one or two drinks." It should be stressed that an important aspect of this stage of the illness is the following: the drinker often starts to experience more serious drinking problems as well as alcohol-related employment, relationship, financial, and legal problems.

In the third stage, it is common for the problem drinker to start avoiding friends and family and to show a lack of interest in activities and events that once were fun or important. Also typical during this stage are "eye-openers," that is, drinks that are taken whenever the problem drinker awakens. Eye-openers are taken mainly to "calm the nerves," lessen a hangover, or to quiet the feelings of remorse the individual occasionally experiences after a period of time without consuming a drink.

As the drinking increases the individual starts to neglect most things of importance, even necessities such as food, water, personal hygiene, shelter, and personal interaction. And finally, during this stage, the drinker often makes half-hearted attempts at getting professional medical assistance.

Alcoholism: The Fourth Stage

The fourth and last stage of alcoholism is characterized by a chronic loss of control. In the earlier stages of the illness, the problem drinker may have been successful in maintaining a job. Due to the fact that drinking during this stage frequently starts earlier in the day and commonly continues throughout the day, however, few, if any, full-time jobs can be maintained under these conditions.

In earlier stages of the illness, the problem drinker had a choice whether he or she would take the first drink. After taking the first drink, the drinker typically lost all control and would then continue drinking. In the last stage of alcoholism, however, alcoholics no longer have a choice: they need to drink in order to function on a daily basis.

During the fourth stage of alcoholism, benders are typical. More to the point, in the fourth stage of alcoholism the alcoholic frequently gets helplessly drunk and may remain in this predicament for a number of days or weeks. The unattainable goal for the drinker while engaging in his or her bender is to experience the "high" they he or she once experienced.

In the second or third stages of alcoholism the drinker's hands may have trembled slightly on mornings after getting drunk the previous night. In the fourth and last stage of alcoholism, conversely, alcoholics get "the shakes" whenever they attempt or are forced to refrain from drinking.

These tremors are an indication of a serious nervous disorder that now affects the drinker's entire body. When "the shakes" are combined with hallucinations, the result is known as "the DTs" or delirium tremens. The DTs are a potentially deadly kind of alcoholism withdrawal that almost always takes place unless the alcoholic receives immediate alcoholism treatment. It may come as no surprise that after an attack of the DTs, more than a few alcoholics promise to never drink again. Sadly, most of them do. Consequently, they return to drinking and the alcoholic drinking patterns and problems start all over again.


From the information above, it can be concluded that the four stages of alcoholism paint a bleak picture for the alcohol addicted. Perhaps learning about the destructive and damaging outcomes and the unhealthy nature of alcoholism may not make a much of an impact on most individuals who are already chronically alcohol dependent.

However, by exposing the facts about alcohol dependency and about the stages of alcoholism to our youth BEFORE they start consuming alcohol in an abuse and irresponsible manner will prevent many of our teenagers from experiencing the drinking problems and the unhealthy and devastating realities suffered by most alcoholics.

Finding a quality treatment program can be a difficult process. That's why it is important to log on & post here daily and of course other forums or organisations like this,:smile:
copied from web.

[Samstone]

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Oh sure looks innocent now.

just looking for a picanic basket!

[LilBit]

Yikes, what a scary and well-timed post, Byrdie.

I remember the July 4th holiday last year. We rented a cabin and kayaked the Russian River. When we stopped at the local grocery to pick up our few food items and copious AL stash, the cashier asked, "Throwing a party?" We just smiled and nodded, knowing that it was all for the two of us, and likely not enough for the entire weekend. How I avoided drowning myself or bashing my head on some river rock, I really couldn't say. We wound up in a massive and stupid AL-withdrawal-induced argument on the way home about the Golden Gate Bridge toll payment protocol, and it mushroomed into such an awful fight that he silently packed his bags when we reached the house. 'Didn't speak for days. 'Spent close to $1K for a trip that was mostly forgotten, soaked in booze and ultimately ruined. Fun times, eh?

'Wishing everyone here a relaxing holiday if you're a Yank and a happy upcoming weekend if you're elsewhere. No drama. No death-defying acts of stupidity. No expensive, cringe-worthy trips to the store. Just blissful R&R that you fully experience.

[kherriot]

Thanks Samstone, I know exactly what you are talking about. Too funny, hubby calls him Boo Boo I call him Winnie...

[Guitarista]

Finding a quality treatment program can be a difficult process. That's why it is important to log on & post here daily and of course other forums or organisations like this,:smile:
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Thanks Byrdy. Finding any sort of treatment program here in Oz takes a long time if you don't have private health insurance (costly), is a difficult
process and frustrating especially when you are a fragile addict looking for help. At least there is AA/NA (with all it's pros and cons) where you can connect with a group who understand, but for pro medical help/treatment there is a damn waiting list of a couple/few weeks at best. This highlights the importance and benefit of an online forum such as this.

Stay connected folks.

I was just saying to myself on my thread that I am getting sick and tired of seeing all these milestones occurring round the joint, leaving me in the dust! I mean that in a good way. It is reminding me of the precious time I have wasted on the merry go round of despair, unhappiness, broken dreams.

Day 14 of 7 to 7000. Yeehaw! G

[Lavande]

Good evening Nesters,

G - great on your 14 of 7000
No more wandering off, OK?

Lil, somehow I just know that this 4th of July is going to be much better for you. Last year sounded like a real nightmare :eek-new:

Still not sure if we're actually doing anything for the holiday weekend. I would be just as happy staying here & getting caught up with some outside work if it decides to stop raining.
The days of partying are long over for me & I am 100% grateful

Wishing everyone a safe & comfy night in the nest!

Lav