Newbies Nest

[Lavande]

Good Sunday morning Nesters,

I hope everyone had a good night in the nest

Londoner, we really need to focus on good self- care. That includes eating decent food, avoid the junk. Look into getting on a good multivitamin too, it really helps. Getting some fresh air & exercise each day is important too.

Wishing everyone a great AF day!

Lav

[LilBit]

Celebrating the fact that a 5th only means a day of the month, now...

Enjoying some freshly brewed coffee because it's heavenly -- not because I'm hungover and need it to function...

Wiping the drool off my keyboard from the sight of Byrdie's amazing cookies...

Admiring Pav's recent "tell it like it is" posts...

Sending strength and peace to Ava...

Smiling at the sight of some new newbies in the nest (Welcome, you guys! -- you're in a great place)...

Commiserating with Londoner on the friends lost due to AL...

Being grateful for Lav's ever-comforting presence...

Embarking on a weekend day that involves: writing some novel chapters, working out on the spin bike, potting a collection of brightly colored snapdragons, picking up heirloom tomatoes, pluots and sunflowers at the farmers' market, having dinner with friends at a French bistro and NOT: checking my stash for how much AL I have left, being astonished at how much I consumed yesterday, arguing with myself about staying sober today, giving up on exercising this morning because I feel draggy, losing my resolve by mid-afternoon, isolating myself inside a dark room with "my friend," only halfway enjoying the ten-minute buzz that I'll pay dearly for later...lather, rinse, repeat.

The difference between the drinking life and the non-AL life is literally night versus day. Enjoy!

[peppersnow]

Good Sunday morning Nesters,

I hope everyone had a good night in the nest

Londoner, we really need to focus on good self- care. That includes eating decent food, avoid the junk. Look into getting on a good multivitamin too, it really helps. Getting some fresh air & exercise each day is important too.

Wishing everyone a great AF day!

Lav

Welcome Idefineme and Lucky - and welcome back Londoner! Depending on where you live in the world, I hope you're either finishing up your day sober or waking up unhung!

I just wanted to echo what Lav said about self-care. These first few weeks, I allowed myself to eat whatever I wanted - especially ice cream, which somehow seemed to help a lot with regard to substituting as a "reward" rather than AL. Like Lav said, a good multivitamin or at least a REALLY good B vitamin is essential. If you had your blood drawn today, your doc would tell you that you are severely B-deficient. Toward the end of my drinking career, when I was still hiding my problem, my doc had me taking B12 injections each week because my levels were so low, which I found out later is a consistent hallmark of all alcoholic drinkers. Also, as your body goes into repair mode, you'll be completely exhausted a LOT, for maybe a few weeks, and the B12 will help. It takes a few months to build up your B12 again even if you're taking supplements.

My other suggestion would be L-Glutamine, which you can pick up at any health food store. It helps a lot with the cravings (not a cure though) as alcohol is a sugar, and L-Glutamine helps with sugar cravings. About 3 weeks ago, I cut out all sugar and was going insane by week 2 when NS reminded me about the L-Glut, which I started taking again and it was very helpful! (PS, Thanks, NS -- as someone who always preaches L-Glut for alcohol cravings, I can't believe I forgot it might also work when cutting out actual sugar!)

Also, be careful about diving completely into a rigorous exercise and strict diet regimen right away. I've noticed that when people throw themselves into routines like that very early in their quit, often (not always) they have relapses within a few weeks because they've associated quitting alcohol with their new exercise/diet routine. When something interrupts their overall health plan (like a bacon double-cheeseburger or just laying on the couch all day) it can be easier to throw in the towel and drink again, too. That was my personal experience with a previous quit. I avoid scales but learned this week that I've nearly lost 50 pounds in 15 months since I quit drinking, but I gradually worked in the exercise and gradually became much better (and eventually strict) about my eating habits, having learned from my earlier quit that failed. I think it's kind of the same as that phenomena in which it's easier to eat junk food if you missed the workout that day -- and you don't want not drinking to be in the same category in your brain as not eating crappy food or skipping a workout.

I also want to say that losing weight was not my motivator for quitting -- I was so far gone, I just wanted to live a little longer and didn't care what I looked like. The weight loss was a by-product of realizing that I wanted to live again, but I spent the first month healing and getting my energy back first. And eating a ton of Ben & Jerry's!

Have a great rest of your weekend / Monday morning, all!! :happy2:

[LuckyMe]

Hi. Woke up and raced to the roll call. I didn't do that last time, nor did I truly learn how to use the tools here at MWO. This time I'm sucking it all down.

Spent time at the toolbox while having coffee and liked so much! Here's one that stuck:
If you've ever taken alcohol into your body, you have very little will to live. The body was not meant to intake alcohol. It impairs the mind.
God from Conversations with God (Book 1) through Neale Donald Walsch (adapted)

For so long, I had wanted to die then through a new practice for conciousness in the last year I've been blossoming a strong will to live, yet I kept drinking thinking they could go hand in hand. Not so. I kept ignoring the awareness I was having about the alcohol hoping it would just go away... I'm getting it. It won't and it doesn't.

So here I am. Better equipted than ever for a final quit. Humble about the insidiousness of the addiction, educated through past failures, determined because I want to live and thrive now and knowing now the bottom is lurking near by and it gets uglier and uglier with each glimpse..

Have a great day. I think I have a future now. Feeling good and lucky.

[LavenderBlue]

Swinging in super quick - I always kind of knew spring and summer we busy for animal shelters ("kitten season") but it's still keeping me on my toes! Combine that with the 4th being a big day for pets to go missing and I've ended up picking up another few extra shifts... The good news is I'm still enjoying it (I did have one off day, just to be honest. It sucked at the time, but I got past it) and I'm getting in shape WAY faster than I ever planned. The...well, not bad news, but related news is that I'm often exhausted by the end of the day and resting on my days off. It's not horrible - I'm still enjoying being tired from good work rather than drinking - but it is something to juggle.

Other than checking in and sending good thoughts to the new folks (This is a great place to be! My best advice is to listen to the old timers here, they've seen it all and been there themselves!) and everyone else, I wanted to share a story from work. More about drinking than pets, but it's pretty sad just to warn you.

We had an officer bring in a dog the other day, one of the smaller breeds, and everyone else seemed to know the dog. I assumed it must be one of those who escapes a lot, but found out later it was something else. Turns out the owner is an alcoholic, and will sometimes go on binges that end in him being locked up for a while or otherwise unable to care for his dog; so they bring the dog to us. I feel so sorry for the dog, who is getting old an I'm sure doesn't know what's going on. But I also feel bad for the owner, who I'm sure feels like shit every time he sobers up after something like this happening. I know it's easy to get tired of the apologies from someone with a drinking problem, but I also remember quite well that the shitty feelings are sincere. On of the girls mentioned that she thinks the dog might be what's keeping this person alive, and she's not sure if he'll make it after the dog passes away...and, despite now knowing this guy, I get that. The girls told other stories about things this guy has done (and with more empathy than I'd expect, less laughing at him and more "yeah, he's really this bad") and even if they were things I hadn't done myself, I can still understand it.

I guess good part of this is to mention that everyone at work knows I don't drink - I've mentioned a few times during conversations about it that I stopped because of health reasons. Obviously they don't think less of me or I doubt they'd have had the same attitude while talking about this guy. So for anyone worried, just not drinking doesn't always make people assume you have a problem. I guess even that makes me torn since I wish there wasn't so much shame involved...but it was something else I noticed as we were talking.

As to the rest, it makes me grateful that I stopped drinking, but it was also quite a smack in the face to remember how serious the whole thing is.

I've got to get to work here, and sorry for sharing such a bummer of a story. It just really really hit me and I figure folks here probably understand why.

[LuckyMe]

Hi again. I've noticed some names still active around here that I was reading and learning from last year when I first spent time with this community. The wisdom is so welcome! I can hear the joy of relief and freedom from those who continue to succeed in their quit and also continue to support the hundreds? who are starting day one and getting drunk and dropping out within a few days to a few weeks. I don't know where everybody goes, but I'm guessing a fair share are back into what they knew best. Is it true only 5% actually manage to stay quit? I'm not asking to be one of the 95%. I'm realizing that this is going to take the best of me that I know is there inside of me just thrilled to be coming to the surface. I'm asking myself, "what can I contribute today to myself, this community, the community where I live and to the universe? I can stay sober. I can be kind to myself. I can value this quit like my life depends on it. I can be aware of things I've never allowed myself to be aware of and to judge none of it.

[available]

Morning nesters

I decided to have a mental health day off work for me! Its pouring down rain so i dont feel too guilty to miss peak hour traffic and all the accidents. its funny that now i feel guilty about having a sicky but when i drank i had no guilt, i just knew i could not drag my sorry arse to work as i felt so awful. Didnt stop me from drinking later in the day though and earlier than normal.

London take each day as it comes, live each day with grit and determination that you wont drink, everything else falls into place in time and we have a lot of that initially especially when all our thoughts are about al and fighting with ourselves on whether to drink or not.

LavB you are sounding good. Tired but good. I think being an alcoholic we get other alcoholics and feel their pain. I see so many people in the hospital where i work with al problems and sometimes i will tell them my story and sometimes i dont. I can see the shame in their faces when the referral says "alcoholic with .......... pain". It breaks my heart to look into their eyes and see the shame and pain as i know how they feel. I will never forget that i was where they were/are. Then i meet people who have given up al and to see how proud they are is a priceless. As an alcoholic i have so much empathy for my fellow alcoholics, its a shame the rest of society does not treat us with dignity.

Lucky if you are determined and realise that giving up al is a day by day life then you will be one of those 5%. You will notice that the ones with long days are the ones that keep on here daily and post and read. I notice that the ones that stop posting go away to drink or think they have it in control. I have not control with al, maybe i do now but i am not testing the waters to find out. I started on here never thinking i could/would or really wanted to stop drinking completely but my life was so bad i really didnt have a choice. I hit my bottom and we all have our own. When you have al time up you can do whatever you want and be happy, my advice is to be gentle with yourself and take each day as it comes. There will be bad days and there will be good days until thoughts of al are just a distant memory. I remember getting home from work after a month or two and automatically made a cup of tea, i did not want or crave a drink in what was my my witching hour. Then i knew i was making progress, then i started to think i really could do this. Occasionally i still get that urge for a wine but i now have the tools and strategies to stay sober and if i am every wobbly or so stressed i come on here for support. Nothing will make me take that drink!

[Byrdlady]

Gosh, I thought I checked in this morning, but apparently not!
Heading to a graduation party in a few minutes. Everyone there will be drinking, but I will take my own diet coke. I also just ate, even tho I know food will be served. As I was eating, I thought, 'These are the skills I learned at MWO!' (How to deal with parties). It works! It has been a great weekend, my niece and her BF just left and there were no embarrassing drunken diatribes, no hangovers and no regrets!
Off to deliver the cookies! Hope everyone had an easy day! Lucky, we are so glad you're here! Byrdie

[LuckyMe]

Thanks for the welcomes. I'm glad I'm here too. I've had almost every symptom, desire to stop, disgusting shame, need to hide, embarrassment, self-loathing that has been accounted for here at MWO. I read something in the Tool box I liked and I should have copied it. Something about the addiction being a great gift to create from as I move further into AF days. If I stumble across it again, I'll copy it.

So everyone talks about a plan. Here's mine.

I'm a gardener by profession and use my body gobs...so I'm passing on the extra exercise for now. I also live on my boat and hike up and down the dock frequently which adds up.

I shop most days because my fridge is small. This could be a problem because that's where I get the beer and wine. I can't avoid shopping but I can be aware and get my thinking strait before I go in. I am fond of seltzer so I can stock up on that. I can also be proud to put seltzer on the counter rather than wondering what the clerk thinks of me after seeing me march through so much alcohol. (I'd try to break up and go to different stores so I could fool them, smile) I'm such an alcoholic!

I'm going to post regularly. Read for as long as I can stand staring at a computer and to post a quote from the Tool Box daily that I liked on the Nest.

I'm going to be on the roll call religiously.

I'm going to let this be the bottom, not the other thing I see coming with my name on it if I take another drink.

I'm going to be aware that other peoples points of views are there's concerning moderation. For me, drink kills awareness and so much more. For me, drink is not an option.

I'm going to allow myself to unfold and to be truly curious about who I am and how I am showing up in this world. I'm going to be delighted when I surprise myself with my new abilities and accomplishments.

I'm going to physically get on my knees for a few minutes each day to give thanks and send blessings to my family and friends (the ones who still like me and the ones who don't).

Alcohol is not an option. It's off the table. 14 years ago I walked 500 miles across Spain on the Camino de Santiago. During the walk, some would dress like they were trekking, but would be hopping on a bus. I walked the 500 in 26 days. Not getting to Santiago was not an option. Not getting there on foot wasn't either. I allowed myself as much time as was needed and got there weeks ahead of schedule. I saw a blind man walking with an aid, a guy on crutches who would not quit, a woman pushing 2 kids in a stroller and many, many amazing people. I learned so much and relied on my own form of spirituality to push me forward when my whole body and soul wanted to lay by a creek in the shade and call it done. This I now am going to take to my recovery. I'm crying just thinking of the enormity of the gift of the Camino. Seriously, what is this path of sobriety going to give me and what can I give others because of it?

That's my plan. I'll probably add to it. Thanks for being here and not "there" LuckyMe

[kherriot]

Worked out alone again today, but that is ok. I am doing it for me, no one else. That is the main thing. Just getting out of the house and doing the best I can do makes me feel good. Maybe after the summer the others will come back, but it doesn't matter as long as I go and work out. Smoke around here is almost go so easier to breath, waiting to hear from hubby, might be coming home early. That is good, the grass needs cutting and I am not going out there till I know for sure Boo Boo and Momma are gone. Finished the books today, with some questions, but am meeting her tomorrow so will get it sorted. Looking forward to a good nights sleep. Have a good night all.

[Byrdlady]

Thanks for the welcomes. I'm glad I'm here too. I've had almost every symptom, desire to stop, disgusting shame, need to hide, embarrassment, self-loathing that has been accounted for here at MWO. I read something in the Tool box I liked and I should have copied it. Something about the addiction being a great gift to create from as I move further into AF days. If I stumble across it again, I'll copy it.

So everyone talks about a plan. Here's mine.

I'm a gardener by profession and use my body gobs...so I'm passing on the extra exercise for now. I also live on my boat and hike up and down the dock frequently which adds up.

I shop most days because my fridge is small. This could be a problem because that's where I get the beer and wine. I can't avoid shopping but I can be aware and get my thinking strait before I go in. I am fond of seltzer so I can stock up on that. I can also be proud to put seltzer on the counter rather than wondering what the clerk thinks of me after seeing me march through so much alcohol. (I'd try to break up and go to different stores so I could fool them, smile) I'm such an alcoholic!

I'm going to post regularly. Read for as long as I can stand staring at a computer and to post a quote from the Tool Box daily that I liked on the Nest.

I'm going to be on the roll call religiously.

I'm going to let this be the bottom, not the other thing I see coming with my name on it if I take another drink.

I'm going to be aware that other peoples points of views are there's concerning moderation. For me, drink kills awareness and so much more. For me, drink is not an option.

I'm going to allow myself to unfold and to be truly curious about who I am and how I am showing up in this world. I'm going to be delighted when I surprise myself with my new abilities and accomplishments.

I'm going to physically get on my knees for a few minutes each day to give thanks and send blessings to my family and friends (the ones who still like me and the ones who don't).

Alcohol is not an option. It's off the table. 14 years ago I walked 500 miles across Spain on the Camino de Santiago. During the walk, some would dress like they were trekking, but would be hopping on a bus. I walked the 500 in 26 days. Not getting to Santiago was not an option. Not getting there on foot wasn't either. I allowed myself as much time as was needed and got there weeks ahead of schedule. I saw a blind man walking with an aid, a guy on crutches who would not quit, a woman pushing 2 kids in a stroller and many, many amazing people. I learned so much and relied on my own form of spirituality to push me forward when my whole body and soul wanted to lay by a creek in the shade and call it done. This I now am going to take to my recovery. I'm crying just thinking of the enormity of the gift of the Camino. Seriously, what is this path of sobriety going to give me and what can I give others because of it?

That's my plan. I'll probably add to it. Thanks for being here and not "there" LuckyMe

Lucky, this is a great plan! You have the right attutude and mindset to he successful! Now you have the tools! I am so optimistic FOR you!

Karen, you are doing an amazing job! Sometimes we have to blaze our own trails and thats ok! I really admire your determination! Keep up the great work! Byrdie

[NoSugar]

Lucky - We are lucky to have you here! You're going into this challenge with such a great attitude. You clearly have thought it out and come up with a great plan that fits your life and needs. I'll look forward to reading your quotes from the toolbox. I know there were some posts in there that really helped me - especially some by A Work in Progress (WIP).

Please don't hesitate to post how you're really feeling when you're not quite so upbeat and optimistic, too. What you're starting here isn't easy and there are so many psychological, biochemical, and physiological changes when we quit doing something we've been doing every day for a long time (especially when that something is addictive!). It is normal to feel great one day and overwhelmed on another, energized on one and dead tired on the next. It can be a roller coaster ride - but just don't get off! If you stick it out and do whatever it takes not to drink, I promise it all calms down after awhile and becomes the life you've been missing and wishing for.

You seem to already know what took me awhile to figure out - quitting is a great opportunity and can be a real adventure. We get to quit! We don't have to because we're in a hospital or prison. It's our choice not to drink and as long as we do that, we've got all the power.

Welcome! NS

[little beagle]

Lucky making a plan like yours is so important. Good job.
Byrdie your parade sounds like so much fun.
Sorry to short tonight. I'm really tired.

[Lavande]

Good evening Nesters,

The holiday weekend has come to an end, sounds like everyone did OK - great!
I had my son & his family here for a cookout today which was nice although he didn't get here from work until nearly 7 pm. I'm happy to catch him for an hour or two

Lucky, your plan sounds wonderful - so glad to have you here with us!

Wishing everyone a safe & peaceful night in the nest!

Lav

[Marylou123]

LuckyMe - Lucky Us! Welcome to the Nest. Great post and great attitude. I look forward to your daily nuggets.

I had a busy holiday weekend with friends and family and an interesting moment today. There were four of us having lunch at a nice little beach grill. One lady in our group ordered a Bloody Mary and the rest of us drank AF beverages. Her cocktail looked good but I didn't have any craving for booze - that didn't surprise me, thank goodness at this point! It was those marinated olives that looked incredible.

So I've decided when I get home on Tuuesday I'm going to marinate some olives in a little bit of V8, Tabasco and a shake of Old Bay. Maybe serve on a cracker with a piece of good cheese. Yum.

But even more delicious is that fact that I even think that way!! So many holidays past I would have started with a bloody (cuz that's an acceptable am drink - ha) and now it's the olives (sans liquor) I want.

Brydie - your cookies are beautiful. They'd make a great follow-up to my upcoming olive escapade.

Ava - you so deserve the day off. I hope you can pamper yourself for a bit today.

Wishing all a peaceful, AF week.