Newbies Nest

[Byrdlady]

Good Morning, Nesters!
Lifechange, what a great post and an eye opener regarding your friend. Her words sound just like something I would have said back in the day. It wouldn't surprise me one bit if she were one of us. While 2 glasses of wine per night isn't hideous, it IS twice as much as what is considered moderation. I remember the years I only had two a night...then my tolerance kicked in and it took more and more to RELAX me. I imagine she started with ONE glass in the beginning. This things is progressive as we know, and it creeps up while we aren't looking. Next thing you know you're on a forum for AL Abuse asking what the hell happened?! I am very proud of you. I used to be jealous of the AF people, wondering how they were able to socialize and relax without AL. I get it now, but you couldn't have told me then, I was too enamored with it! It takes some distance away to really be able to 'see' it.

There was something on the news this morning about a man being behind bars because he shot a guy while intoxicated. This set me to thinking just HOW many people ARE behind bars because of a stupid thing caused by AL. I imagine it is a very large number. What they would give for a do-over. Even if you don't consider the extreme circumstance of prison, the stupid things we've all done while drinking is ALARMING! We have the opportunity for a do-over, and I'm grabbing it with both hands! Hang on, Nesters! It is worth it! Byrdie

[Kailey]

Peppersnow, your list of excuses made me laugh! Those are good ones, and I'm sure I can come up with some doozies of my own.

One positive thing about having tried and failed a lot of times before is that I was able to easily anticipate that last night was going to be a challenge, prepare, and then sail through. As expected the group decided to go out for dinner/drinks but I already knew I was going to say no, and it was easy to bow out. Instead I went to my hotel room and danced a little jig! Woke up this morning feeling on top of the world.

My next challenge is going to be returning home tonight (I've been on the road for 4 days). My husband drinks quite a bit, but is incredibly supportive of my efforts to stop. On the flipside he is the first one to let me off the hook. We've had the conversation a million times now that I don't need or want him to "give me a break" and I think he finally gets it. This is my deal and I know that, but sometimes it's hard to have temptation right in my face. I've had a lot of practice though, and I know I'll be fine tonight. I've even learned that it helps if he will make his drinks in the garage so I don't hear the crack of the ice, and put his drinks and opaque plastic cup so I can't see them, which he is happy to do for me. Strangely enough, those two little tricks make a big difference.

Spoiler alert, the weekend will be another hurdle! Do these challenges ever end?

[LuckyMe]

Good Morning! Happy jig for you, Kailey. Last time I worked with MWO I quit on the 5th day. So, I'm to be entering day 6 feeeling good. My first thought after waking up was "can't wait till my 60th" day. The enthusiasm around this joint is contagious! Have an awesome day everyone! Lucky

[LuckyMe]

little Beagle, thanks for the post. I realize that all these years I've let AL make me the bad guy no matter what the dance was with others. I loose. I start out with no footing because the "other" is in the moral high spot. Thus, my daughter never had to take responsibility for her part. Shes never really learned to be anything but "right." She gets to perpetuate the myth that everything that is uncomfortable emotionally or in any other way and that she doesn't want to deal with is somehow linked to my shitty parenting. She's never learned how to say truly, "I'm sorry. I blew it on that one."
It's interesting that AL is not satisfied with destroying just us... AL is always going for the whole kit and kaboodle.

[Overit-still]

Morning nesters

Overit, i had a nester make me choose a quit date and i did, 1/12/13. God i didnt want that date, i didnt want any date, i wanted to say i was stopping but i didnt want to stop. I was scared and just plain doubtful that i could do it for 30 days at least. But i didnt want to let NS down without at least giving it a shot and being accountable. Well i am so glad that i gave that date to NS and i am so glad i stopped.

My date will be 7/10/15!

[Rahulthesweet]

Life change ,

What a beautiful post ! I can so relate to your situation and state of mind. I recall a time when I was so dependent on alcohol that I needed for anything. To celebrate, to party, to relax, In grief etc. it was only making everything worse.

I recall recently I went to U2 concert with a friend and he said "come on you can make and exception and drink today ! It's U2 after all !!"

And my response which I genuinely belived was " right ... It's U2 and that's why AL is the last thing I need a drink to enjoy the show .. "

I recently went to a destination wedding in Goa, partied with a group of youngsters who "needed" AL, smoke, weed etc to "party" . They all felt terrible as most of them could not enjoy as all the drugs were not having effect after so many days of drinking. And here I was drug free really enjoying the beach setting, food and music !

I see so many people WANTING a drink and later after having it controlling and restricting themselves to two or three drinks. And by then they felt more hungry and wanting more. Why to get into such situation and not have it at all....

Everyone has life changing incidences for me realising "I dont need a drink to live, face life, enjoy life etc" was THE most important realisation. It is then reason I am sober till today. Not 99% but 100% !

And I am so damn proud and pat myself everyday for it !

[LuckyMe]

Hi everybody! Ending soon a very pleasant day. The breeze was great, the work went well, I got to fuss about on my boat and get some things done because it was not to hot. All and all a 5 star day. I bought this boat I'm on now because it is only 27' long and I'm told a great boat to learn to sail on. My last boat was 40' and was daunting to think of managing her. So I downsized and am living not quite so expansively, but its working for me and my chihuahua. Anyway, coming home from work and grabbing beers or bottles of wine negated any hope for ever learning to sail. Who was it who said that wine killed more sailors than the sea did?

I've been wanting other things too. Within each dream about what I might do, or be, or where I could live or retire, I kept getting the hit that none of it would happen if I kept drinking. Duh! No dreams. None, except maybe a minute SS check, some food assistance, and maybe help with the rent and medical.

NO Dreams. That freaks me out! I've always been the adventurer. I've owned a B and B in Mexico, I've traveled to South America twice, through Central America, Turkey, Spain, Brazil...
WTF could I do as a drunk?

It doesn't get prettier, it doesn't get more expansive or creative to keep drinking the AL.

I am lucky, grateful and blessed to be FREE. Have a swell night, or morning where ever you are. See you on the rolls. For me tomorrow will be day 7.

[Lavande]

Good evening Nesters,

Wow Lucky - great on waking up clear-headed on day 7 tomorrow
It truly keeps getting better so keep doing what you have been doing!

Over-it, we'll all be with you tomorrow morning as you begin your journey!

Wishing everyone a safe & comfy night in the nest!

Lav

[LavenderBlue]

Got a little behind here (we move so fast sometimes, it's great) but hi to LuckyMe, Kailey, and anyone else I've missed, and glad to see you Overit! Stick close, and know you really can do it!

Dutch - If it makes you feel better, I have an annoying rash spreading over my hands right now. I was worried it might be something serious (and working with stray animals, I could easily end up with ringworm) but it seemed like it was getting better til yesterday. Went to the doctor today and...it could be a lot of things, including eczema like my mom used to get, which would mean it's going to be recurring - ick! But I have a prescription now, so hopefully it clears up. I'm sure yours will, too!

Other than commiserating with Dutch, I wanted to share what's been going on with me the last few days. See, I hit a patch where I was super depressed, irritable, emotional, the list goes on. (And no, not PMS. :P) Didn't help that I was off work (so less chance of human interaction 'cause I'm a homebody on my off days) and I was having issues with a close friend. The issues were real, so I thought my reactions were also real...but I'm now thinking they were worse than really "normal" if that makes sense. I can say NOW that it was for a few days, but at the time it felt like forever; the side effect of feeling like that is being super sure that it's probably not going to get better.

Whether this was my actual depression/anxiety, PAWS, or just a few crappy days, it sucked a lot. The tagends still suck, trying to figure out where my actual feelings end and the "crying every couple hours because everything is awful" begins.

But, what I want to talk about are my cravings since of course I was craving. I actually craved a cigarette more than drinking, and the weird thing is I KNEW it was that I wanted to do something bad for myself. It wasn't the smokes themselves, as much as I wanted to do a "feck it, I'll do something bad for me if I want!" If I'd smoked I would have drank, I can almost guarantee it.

So what I did to deal with it. Honestly, I should have come here but I was so worn out going back and forth with my friend I thought I needed quiet time. And there's probably worse things than marathoning The X-Files on Netflix. What I DID do was to keep telling myself, "No, you can't do that. I don't care how you feel, you can't do that." I wasn't thinking motivational thoughts about how my life is better AL and cig-free, I wasn't thinking about the reasons much at all...I was thinking this sucks, everything sucks, I hate everything, but I'm not allowed to smoke or drink. I did pick up ice cream and make some attempts at other self care - and obviously, I'm doing better tonight so I'm pulling out of it.

The big thing it reminded me of is that even when things are incredibly shitty (or I think that they are) I still don't have to drink. I can be as mad at myself and the world as I want, but I still don't HAVE to drink or smoke. And sometimes "No, I can't do that" is every bit as useful as more thought out reasoning. I can promise you that on the other side here, I am so very very glad I didn't start either habit back up again.

[jane27]

Nice work LavB. You took it off the table and that was that.

[Guitarista]

And a big shout out to Lifechange 30 days alcohol free today, and Pie 1 year booze free today! Congratulations friends. Bravo!

Good job Lav B! :happy2:

[roxane]

big cheer for elsie!!!!

i thought pie is tomorrow :eek-new:

[Kailey]

So many good things happening here. It is exciting to see milestones being reached. We all know how much work that takes. There are so many opportunities to give up and try again later. I have tremendous respect for those of you who have managed to push through the early days and have become long term abstainers. Hope to be one of you some day. Pie, you must be so proud! I'm going to work hard to keep following your lead!

[NoSugar]

Congratulations, Pie, LC, and Kailey! 1 year, 1 month, 1 week, or 1 day AF should be cherished, celebrated, and protected. :hug: NS

[Lavande]

Good morning Nesters, happy Friday to all

CONGRATS going out to Pie, LC & Kailey today :yay:
Believe in yourselves & protect your quits with everything you've got!!

LavB, learning to work through the low times AF & SF is a sign of real growth - good for you!

Wishing everyone a great AF Friday!!

Lav