Newbies Nest

[LilBit]

Did you keep the dog?

Funny thing...the dog, which was always more my fiance's than mine, didn't want to go with him. When they arrived at their destination Joe (the dog) refused to get out of the car. So my fiance brought him back, dropped him off and sweet Joe -- now mine forever -- hasn't left my side since.

[LilBit]

'Machete don't text' 'G man don't shop'. :happy2:

LOL! I stand ever so humbly corrected.

Shop.gif

[Sarah42]

Hi all. It's been quite some time since I have visited here. I have been doing great with my AL until now. MIL is in Assisted Living now down here, but we have to go up in Sept to take care of the sale of her house, estate sale, etc. I was fine until about 3 weeks ago when we asked her to make a list of things she wanted us to bring down. She claimed she wanted pretty much everything . (lemon zester, nutcracker, cookie cutters, etc), and she can't cook any longer nor has the room for this stuff in her Assiisted Living place. She also is not allowed to cook in her place. We questioned her about all this, and she thinks we can use some of this 'stuff' at my house, so when she comes to visit us (which is often) she can "cook" with me.

Long story short....I drank a bit that night. I'm afraid I might again during this process. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

[Londoner]

Checking in. Normally I would avoid here as guilt takes the better of me

Ended up drinking Friday night. Its me I've gotta get a hold of. Yes, there will be people and environments that will make the quit harder. But they will always be there. And I will always be with me.

I went out drinking because I didn't want to go home. And that was the best option. I carried on drinking because I want to numb myself to the fact that I am out drinking - killing my progression in life.

I need to find new hobbies, new people, that will leave my current lifestyle in the dark. That will make this current lifestyle unattractive.

That requires change. Change requires risk. Change requires mental, physical and spiritual energy.

Al sucks the energy from us. It keeps us in a short term comfort zone and long term discomfort.

It is me who has the problem. It is me who has to find the courage to kick this habit.

I guess I'm so far stranded from knowing who I really am and what I am really about. That I have to keep drinking to numb myself to that fact

I need to find out what I am really about. Who I am. Instead of being this passive, shel of a person.

So day 1 again. This time, not expecting perfection. Looking to put the base in place to succeed. But being aware that a relapse is just around the corner.

[Lavande]

Good Sunday morning Nesters!

Lil, so happy you are reunited with the dog. I love the non-judgmental companionship

Sarah, glad you came back before things really got out of hand.
I know the stress of dealing with elderly parental issues, not easy. Knowing that your MIL is in a safe place takes a lot of the burden off your shoulders. Now you can focus on your self care. Allowing AL back into your life is not going to help or change the situation. Instead of 'checking out' by drinking try 'checking in' with some quiet, relaxing meditation - works for me!

Londoner, you can get off the merry go round any time you choose!
Nothing is going to change for you if you keep taking the same path.

Wishing everyone a great AF day!

Lav

[Byrdlady]

Good morning, Nesters!
Lil, I am thrilled that Joe is your new significant other. An upgrade, from the sounds of it. I am so proud of you! Keep your eye on the prize and you will be able to overcome anything!

Keeping busy here. I find that keeping my mind occupied is important. Yesterday, I began constructing beach chairs out of fondant (sugar play dough). It has been a painfully slow process, when gluing with edible glue, it takes about an hour for the stuff to dry before you can move on. I spent about 8 hours on this project yesterday and I haven't even made the cake yet. At the end of the day (an expression I hate because its grossly overused at work, but in this case, I mean it literally), I looked over and saw all the tedious work I had done and thought, you know, 5 years ago there is NO way I would be doing anything like this. It would take too much concentration and would interfere with my buzz. Making cakes has been a source of joy for me. I also looked on the counter and saw a vase of flowers and a card from my neighbor's grandchildren, "Thank you for the cake". If waiting on sugar glue to dry is the biggest problem I have today THEN LIFE IS GOOD! Stick with this, everyone, I promise, its worth it. There is nothing like MindPeace and AF time is the only way to get it. Yes, we fidgeted and squirmed and were uncomfortable, too, but push thru it. The other side of that discomfort is Peace. GLORIOUS Peace. Stay close, stay occupied and do whatever it takes to get thru this day AF. Hugs to all, Byrdie

[LuckyMe]

lil, I'm so happy you got your pal. I broke up once years ago and "our" dog layed down and would not move a muscle everytime I tried to go back to the expartners place! They know who they belong too! Good going.

i've been wondering why this quit feels so different than others I've experienced. While I have that sometimes awful hour when I'm hungry and tired right after work, things have been going fairly well. I think a few things are different. Leaving the really crazy relationship with my daughter behind for awhile with only short visits helped get my head clearer even while drinking. I took anti depressants for awhile but they made me absolutely out of my mind so I quit them, but after stopping I realized I was no longer depressed, which has helped with stopping AL. And I started to fan the flame of wanting life again. I got around folks who were alive and making plans to do things and go places. I started hanging out with moderate drinkers and was really impressed with all the life they squeezed into a day.

At the marina were I live, many folks are between 50 and 80 or so years old. I noticed the difference between those who didn't drink much or at all and those who still were. The difference is stark!

I believe that I was doing my homework preparing for this quit. The biggest and most helpful thing I think was wanting to be alive again, wanting to live with joy, wanting adventures, wanting something other than my work, my tv, and occasional high points with my grandson.

I'm thinking, running towards something is so much more fun than just running and resisting something. While I have that awful hour or two most days where medicating my aches and pains from work or rewarding myself for an awesome day kicks in. I also have firmly planted in me a deep desire to live again...whatever it takes. Call it grace, call it whatever you want, I'm holding on to this one.

I hope we all keep finding that something that helps us look forward more often than back. We can all create a fantastic today and tomorrow if we choose. Have a fantastic AL free day! And thank you, thank you, thank you for being here and helping me stay free! LM

[lifechange]

Hi Nesters!

Thanks for that inspiring post, Luckyme..
I also want to live my life joyfully and fully, I want to feel comfortable in my own skin, I want to believe in myself and trust myself.. and I've been feeling lately like I'm on my way.
Then today came along and I've been down
because I'm having a hard time figuring out how much I "should" do socially.. those things which are expected of me. Today the class of my youngest daughter (4th grade) is having a going away party for 3 girls who are going to another school next year. At 4 the parents were allowed to come and my daughter said she would like it if I would. I had told her that I didn't really want to, but if it was important to her I would. I shouldn't have done that. I should have just said I didn't want to go. Or should I have just gone without saying anything? Basically it would have been an afternoon of her playing with her friends at the lake while I sat around with the parents trying to make small talk. In the end I decided not to go. My ex, the father of my daughter, is there and happy to be there and will bring her home. I just don't understand why I have to be so anti-social sometimes. I was depressed and anxious the whole day with thoughts of having to go and it's the first time in a long time thoughts of drinking ahead of time entered my mind... though I shooed them right off. I don't know how much I should push myself at this point to do things I feel deathly allergic to.? I'm not anti-social. I would say I'm an introvert. And I haven't had a lot to do with this group of parents. And they were going to sing a canon as a thank you to the teacher. I guess that's what really turned me off.. I hate these actions. I wish I liked them, but I really don't.
Anyway.
Now I feel a bit guilty for not showing up but I'll try to explain it to my daughter when she gets home this evening.

I hope everyone is having a good Sunday.

[peppersnow]

Congratulations on 1 year, Pie, and to everyone else with milestones, whether single, double or triple digits. There are no small numbers!

Lil, I'm sorry for what you're going through, but filled with admiration for how you've handled this situation. It's amazing how much strength we discover we have within ourselves when the haze of AL is out of our lives. The irony is that at some point, we were all convinced that it was the AL that gave us the strength to get through the bad times! Not a day goes by when I am stunned by how thoroughly brainwashed I was by my addiction.

Take care, all and have a wonderful AL-free, haze-free crystal clear week of living life versus watching it happen!

[jane27]

Popping in quickly to wish Rahul a huge high five for achieving 500 days!

[jane27]

LilBit,

You are awesome! I am so glad that Joe is with you. What a story....doesn't this pic say it all?

[Rahulthesweet]

Hello all,

It's good to come across mile stone and that too with a relatively give number. I recall also those milestones I achieved in past. 7 days, 30 days, 90 then 6 month an year and now 500 days. But if I look back and see which one was the hardest of them all ... I guess it was 7 days and then days somewhere after 2 months. First 7 days were a struggle more because my body demanded booze. And after 2 it was more about my mind which was getting used to life and was missing "those" days !

If I look back see how my life has changed. I used to have a mechanical life. Wake up early (as I used to crash with booze in my body every night ... Early.) go and play badminton in morning then work, then travel and beer. It was a workaholic and alcoholic psychopath I guess.

I have a play memories app on my PC and there I have collection of pictures nicely collected from last 6 to 7 years ago. I was brielfy browsing IT and whenever I look at it I see things like my kids .. Wow they grew up fast. Pics of them playing, enjoying. Then I would stumble upon my travel pictures, drinking pictures. Then back to kids and back to me with travels and drinking memories. While I may have captures pictures of my kids in drunk state I did not spend quality time with them. Especially with my daughter. Sometimes seeing those old pictures of me enjoying in fact places and pictures of my toddler daughter makes me sad.

Now a days I am cycling. I download audiobooks and ripped thru for an hour or more and listen to it. It's monsoons in Delhi so even if it rains it does not matter. It's fun ! I downloaded a book called "high Sobriety" by Jill stark. It's a good read ...

500 is a good number and would not have been possible without you wonderful folks. This is not the end just the beginning !!

[abcowboy]

Howdy everyone, quick pop in for me as well, great to see all the support shown to each other, from Day 1'ers (never give up Londoner, your day is here right!) to long termers (way to chalk up those days Rahul!) and everyone in-between!

Sarah, great to see you back! Stick with this group, get here every day, I'm sure all the help you need is right here...

And a big day for another lovely lady, her countdown to one year begins!

Congrats LavB on 11 months!

[Byrdlady]

Gosh, LavB, 11 months?! You really ARE closing in on a year! I have never seen so many people with really long term sobriety as I have at this time, it is a wonderful thing to witness! Getting sober IS possible and we are all doing it! Great job!
:yay:

[Lavande]

Good evening Nesters,

LavB, on the countdown to one year - yay!!

Rahul, big CONGRATS to you on 500 AF days!!!

LC, I think I understand your predicament. I never liked demand appearances either, especially with a bunch of people I have nothing in common with. Don't feel bad, it's just the way some of us are & I'm sure your daughter had a great time. Listen to your inner voice, let it guide you. We should all pay more attention to our own inner guidance systems.

Byrdie, that was very nice of your neighbor & grandkids to think of you with flowers

Had a decent day including a trip to Ikea for STUFF, ha ha!!
Wishing everyone a safe & comfy night in the nest.

Lav