Newbies Nest

[Pavati]

Hi, All:

Happy Sunday.

LC - I have found my inner ability to say no since I quit drinking (and I have heard that getting older may have had something to do with it as well). I mostly don't want to go to anything, but the big things I plan way ahead - put in my calendar, etc. Like seeing live music. On the night, inertia usually tells me I don't want to go, but I make myself and I usually have a great time - I KNOW I love live music. As for events like you describe? I have taken to saying no. I make up an excuse if it feels like I need one, but I am working on my Lav-itude and just saying "no, thank you." Why do I need to explain myself? Your daughter will forget in a heartbeat.

Lucky - I love what you said about running to something rather than running away from something. A great thought to keep in mind.

Byrdie - PLEASE post a picture of the beach chairs when that cake is done. I can't wait to see it.

NS - I see a couple of your "likes" but I don't see you. I hope all is well. xo

Good night, all.

Pav

[Pavati]

And CONGRATULATIONS, RAHUL!!

[available]

Evening nesters

late check-in today, i managed to look busy at work all day and my village idiot boss is off for a few days which always makes for a pleasant occasion.

LC if you dont want to do it, say no! i found that really hard as especially in my drinking days i agreed to anything and everything now i practice self care of myself more than i ever have, except maybe where Robert is concerned but he is a lovely exception. you are sounding great.

Lavb congratulations on 11 months and Rahul it just keeps getting better doesnt it.

Cold, miserable and raining here. i've finally decided i like going to the gym now, who would have ever thought that would ever happen in my life, so up early, gym, then work then home. i like hitting the repeat button on that routine now.

Lovely to see you back pav, hope all is going okay.

Take care x

[Lavande]

Good Monday morning Nesters!

Sunny & very warm around here so I'm sure thunder storms will pop up at some point this week.
Don't mind the rain so much but the associated winds have been damaging plants in my veggie garden this summer - geez!

Pav & Ava, you know me too well, ha ha!
I don't allow any sort of peer pressure in my life at this point. No one is going to bully me into doing anything I don't want to do - we are adults, right? I keep my Lavan-ittude running quietly in the background & turn it up high when needed, LOL.

Wishing everyone a great AF Monday!

Lav

[Byrdlady]

Morning, Nesters!
LC, I think it is a confidence/self-esteem issue that I suffered thru as I was drinking. I didn't feel worthy of saying NO to stuff that I thought I SHOULD attend. I felt so guilty with my drinking that I thought somehow just showing up at things would balance it out. Now that I've gotten sober, if I don't want to attend something, I don't and I don't feel guilty about it! I have learned to prioritize my time better. In a year, will not attending this _____ even matter? Your confidence will build! Learning how to say NO is a big part of our recovery!

HOT, HOT, HOT! I stepped out and pulled a few weeds over the weekend and sweated worse than Paris Hilton at a Spelling Bee! So I came inside and worked on my beach chairs (cake toppers) The theme of the cake may be changing from a pleasant afternoon on the beach to a post hurricane apocalypse. One chair I threw in the trash and the other is on life support. My edible glue just isn't sticking in this humidity (yeah, THAT'S it).

ABCowboy is celebrating 6 months AF today! :welldone: Well done, amigo!!! Keep up the great work!

Hope everyone has an easy day today! Byrdie

[lifechange]

Howdy Nesters!

I really thank you all for the support yesterday.. it I was the right decision for me not to go. Just have to work on trusting my intuition from the get-go and then not being so wishy washy, trying to please everyone. I decided a while ago that it's important for me to teach the girls (who are often people pleasers) that they don't have to do what everyone else wants/expects from them. And they are pretty good at listening to their gut. When my daughter got home yesterday she told me first about what a great day it was.. then she looked at me and said, "you don't have to feel bad about not going, mama. i promise".. I think it really was ok with her.. if I would have been straight and sure of myself up front, there wouldn't have been a problem. Like so many others have said, this complete lack of confidence is a result of all the drinking. Not knowing myself, guilt.. it's gradually, very gradually improving with time.
The next thing to figure out is how to have a relationship without drinking. Always around this time, 30 days or so, when my mind is clearing up and I'm gaining self confidence, I'm much less likely to put up with the BS of my partner. On one hand, I am more understanding.. but on the other, I'm more critical. Someone else mentioned this recently.. he's not able to blame the drunken dummy any more.

Lilbit, I wanted to say, that I, too, was touched by the story of Joe. What a true friend he is to you.. the dogs really know who they want to be with. And I'm glad your guy was at least sensible enough and sensitive enough to bring him straight back to you. How are you feeling today?

Ava, glad you're enjoying the gym! I'm impressed that you're able to go in the mornings.. what time does it open? I've been forcing myself to go in the afternoon after work (though not today) and it's saving my life!

I found a baby sparrow today, a fledgling, in the street. It sort of seems to be ok but it won't eat. We got some advice from a friend who was able to bring 2 baby blue tits to fly off into the wild.. so wish us luck!!
EDIT: the little one died..
Lav, my tomatoes are hating the wind! damn.. I hope they're not all blown over..

Hi Pav! Hi to everyone checking in today!! Make it a good one..

Shout out to Over-it!! Are your visitors gone? How did you hold up over the weekend?
hugs..

[lifechange]

P.S. I also want to see the beach chairs, Byrdie!!!

[Byrdlady]

Well, here is the state of the union....

[Elvis]

Good job on 6 months abcowboy!

[lifechange]

Yaaayyyyy ABCowboy on 6 months!!!

[LilBit]

Lilbit, I wanted to say, that I, too, was touched by the story of Joe. What a true friend he is to you.. the dogs really know who they want to be with. And I'm glad your guy was at least sensible enough and sensitive enough to bring him straight back to you. How are you feeling today?

Thanks, LC. There's no BSing a dog! Joe is not the cleverest animal on Earth but he knows the deal. He's been sticking pretty close even when Crazy Ivan (cat) is in the room. True love and true sacrifice, there. As for me, I'm gearing up for another week of radiation treatments and trying to focus on just getting through it, while the ex-fiance continues moving his stuff out. 'Going to hit the ice for a while and try to skate it all out. I am so thankful to have a sport that demands all my attention. It's like a mini-vacation.

Byrdie, amazing stuff. The towel is especially cool. And your "Paris Hilton at a spelling bee" reference elicited a full-on coffee spew. LOL!

6 months for Cowboy -- woohoo! Well done, indeed.

Lav, I read an article today about "chicken language" and how they talk to each other with over 30 distinct calls, expressing danger alerts, mating calls, nesting and even "egg pride." Is this true?

[Guitarista]

Yo Nesters!

Here's a free 21 day meditation from 2 of the hottest lovebirds in town. :applouse: Starts July 13/now.

https://chopracentermeditation.com/

[LuckyMe]

Hey and ho. I'm checking out from the site for a bit. Found out last night I've got guests coming, a huge work load (thank God) and a boat to get ready. I'll check back in when I can. LM

[Byrdlady]

Lucky, if you saw me heading towards danger, you would say something, I hope. I am getting red flags with your last post. Please stay close, guests or not. Distancing ourselves from our support is dangerous. Please let us know if we can help in any way. Getting out of this hole takes all the tools in the drawer. Hugs to you, Byrdie.

[available]

I was thinking the same thing Byrd about Lucky's post. It takes 5 minutes to log onto and post on here and that 5 minutes could mean all the difference between a drink or not. NS posted from the toilet, its doable.