Newbies Nest

[Pavati]

Hi, Nest:

Yes! to managing expectations, and Yes! to not becoming a Golden Retriever (or in my case, a mousey-brown and grey retriever). Another reason I am grateful for my optimistic husband is that he enjoys the journey, not just the destination - good reminder, Mr. V. I used to fret that I wasn't going to do X, Y and Z on every vacation, and now I ease into it a lot more gracefully. We have a pact that we will pick one main thing to do every day. If we get to more, great, and if we don't, oh well.

Lav, I have two sons - large and stinky. Good on you for taking care of your grand sons - I hope your time with your daughter was a good respite.

Good night, all. Sober is good.

Pav

[Lavande]

Good morning Nesters & happy Friday to all!

Ha ha Pav, what is it about little boys? They're cute & yet repulsive at the same time
I am so grateful for the time I get to spend with all the grandkids, believe me. To think I could have missed all this if I had stayed on my previous path.....

Hi there Mr V!
Learning to enjoy the journey was a tough one for me but I am finally there. Wouldn't want it any other way!!

Wishing everyone a terrific AF Friday! Get your plans together for a safe weekend too

Lav

[abcowboy]

Just a quick check in this morning to offer my congrats to Karen, I see she hasn't been posting for a bit, but still here reading, so when you read this Karen...

kherriot on your 3 month milestone!

[Byrdlady]

Good Morning, Fellow Nesters!
Mr, V, I thought you were a chef for some reason! Wow, I couldn't have been wronger (as we say in the South). My hat is off to folks to can travel on the fly....

So it's Friday! :rara:
Do you have your PLAN to make it thru the weekend? It's just another day of the week, NOT a ticket to BoozeVille!

I'm not a big Dr. Phil fan, but a lot of the stuff he says makes sense. If you are struggling to string together some days I urge you to let go of what you have been doing and listen to the words of folks who are blazing the trail. Lav didn't come out and say it, but if she had said to me, 'Byrdie, How is YOUR way working for you?' Not too good!! I struggled and fell for a year. When I FINALLY LISTENED to her, I began to make it. All of the folks who have longer term sobriety say the same things....it is amazing what we CHOOSE to hear.

As I was looking thru the Tool Box a couple of days ago for Evedranktoomuch, I saw something else that resonated with me. It was an Al-anon article talking about what it takes to quit drinking. While I agreed with a lot of what it said, I do disagree with one premise: You have to hit bottom to stop drinking. This IS what happened to me, but I have seen plenty of others around here who have stopped the madness because they can see where the tracks are going. They are the SMART ones. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to understand this is a progressive disease. We can all agree on that, right? If you aren't 'that bad' today, just wait two years and see where it can go! If you really look at it, I'd imagine your drinking today is worse than it was five years ago. That's just the nature of this thing. It isn't going to end well if we keep going....THAT I CAN PROMISE. Do yourself a favor and get off this Twilight Zone carnival ride, it goes in a circle. Put your foot out of the ride and say NO MORE. It will be the best decision you've ever made. The longer you are AF, the more you will realize this really isn't something we need in our lives at all! In fact, life is 1000 times better without it! Anyone who has ever blown a quit can attest to that....it ISNT worth it. Stick to your guns, nesters, every day you put between you and AL is a win for you. Starve the bastard, it's the only way to stop the cravings! You CAN overcome this! One day at a time.....
Happy Friday, Byrdie

[NoSugar]

Good point, Byrdie. Waiting for Rock Bottom is like waiting for a heart attack before you improve your diet or get some exercise. And like a heart attack, that can be fatal.
Have a good weekend, Nesters.

[Matt M.]

Byrdmaster :worthy:Top notch post, it's the basic little Gems like you posted that keeps me checking in and reinforcing the wall between me and Alcohol! Thank you

NS- Loved your heart attack analogy

Make it a great day and Stay Hard!

[Overit-still]

Good morning!

[Overit-still]

Dutch, lots of the foods AND PRODUCTS we enjoy have some form of alcohol.

[Byrdlady]

The latest cake!
A day at the beach!

[paulywogg]

That is soooo cute Byrdie!the details are amazing, a shame to eat it,great job

[Guitarista]

Yo nesters near and not so far.

I agree Byrdy, starving the booze cravings is the way. This gives our body mind and spirit time to get themselves back to optimum performance, and for the body chemistry to work in the way it was designed.

We don't need to hit rock bottom either, as in hospital or gaol. If boozing is interfering with our general happiness, then ditch it.

Wishing everyone a safe, sober and magical weekend.

[available]

Morning nest from a cold Melbourne

I just want to see the sun for 5 minutes!

Thanks for a lovely post Jane. The only real expectation i have from people is to be treated how they would like to be and respect for me. If you dont show me respect then you dont get good vibes in return, actually i am vibeless (if such a word). Now i am older i realise i dont have to please everyone all of the time like i did when i drank. i still am a people pleaser but not to the extent i was, i find i wear myself out if i do.

Overit, hello and good on you for checking in, it makes a difference.

Dutch my fav drink is lemon lime and bitters and it has Agnostura bitters in it which someone on MWO said had al in it. Well i thought my life had ended but some very wise people on here told me not to be so stupid and it would not take me down to the "pit of hell" and it hasnt. i still drink it and i now eat food with al in it, i try not too but there are times.

I met Roberts sister yesterday and had lunch with them which was lovely. i told him no as he needed to spend time with his sister but he would not hear of it. she thanked me profusely for all that i do for Robert but for me I dont need thanks, i enjoy being there for him even if the time is getting shorter and shorter. i was listening to a song the other day and thought i was prepared for his death but when i started crying i realise i am so not. i am glad i have MWO to vent, thank you.

Well shopping and coffee with my youngest daughter today and there is 40% off wool so we will be going there. I taught her to knit a few months ago and she is nearly ready to add pearl. never would i have done that in my drinking days, well i stopped knitting too, hard to hold a glass in one hand and use two to knit and remember what the hell i was knitting. Monday i am spending with my other daughter who i dont see as much so i am blessed totally this weekend.

Take care xx

[Guitarista]

Great stuff Ava. Yeah, it's taken me a while to learn how to add pearls.

Just reading our toolbox. Post # 10 in the toolbox is around having a plan. Link below.

https://www.mywayout.org/community/showthread.php?24253-Tool-box&p=473859&viewfull=1#post473859

Here's an extract from above toolbox link.

"Perhaps most important: we recognize that the work of recovery truly is "work," and it takes time, effort, and sometimes it costs money. Sometimes it is costly in other ways, as well; friendships and other close relationships will be changed, when we change. And that can be painful. Making this kind of change will have an impact on all areas of our lives; that is a very, very good thing; it can also be accompanied by some pain. Again... we must learn to tolerate the discomforts involved in life changes. There will be some emotional upheaval along the way. We might want to seek counseling or psychotherapy; we certainly will benefit from coming here and talking about it.

Making a plan, and following it, is an act of mature recognition of the fact that, for nearly all of us, just wishing and hoping that we will stop drinking (or begin drinking "normally") "on our own" is not going to work. Remember: nobody ever "wished and hoped" their way through any important project. But with persistence, and support from others, following a plan can take us to the places in our lives where we really want to go.

wip "

[okoren1]

While I agreed with a lot of what it said, I do disagree with one premise: You have to hit bottom to stop drinking. This IS what happened to me, but I have seen plenty of others around here who have stopped the madness because they can see where the tracks are going. They are the SMART ones. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to understand this is a progressive disease. We can all agree on that, right? If you aren't 'that bad' today, just wait two years and see where it can go! If you really look at it, I'd imagine your drinking today is worse than it was five years ago. That's just the nature of this thing. It isn't going to end well if we keep going....THAT I CAN PROMISE.

Byrdie, Great comments as ususal. When I read it, a caution flag went through my head.

I was one who (I guess) technically didn't hit bottom. No DUI, no black outs, no threats from my wife, no binging, etc. BUT, with that, there is something to watch out for... the notion that maybe I am not that bad, that I really don't have a serious problem, etc. etc. These lines of thinking are all AV tricks. As you appropriately said, I just needed to look where I have come from, and realistically glance forward and imagine where I would be in a few months or a few years, given the steady downward vector I was on.

It's been wisely said, many times on these pages, that if you question whether you have a problem with AL, and you are here reading this stuff... you have a serious problem with AL.

[Lavande]

Good evening Nesters,

Thanks everyone for the thoughtful posts today - they made me smile. I can hear/see a lot of growing & maturing going on in the nest, that's awesome

Byrdie, that cake is over the top lady!!!!

Wishing everyone a safe & comfy night in the nest!
We are all with you Ava :hug:

Lav