Newbies Nest

[Pavati]

I had to try to control it to understand that I couldn't. It’s a painful necessity filled with confusion, pain, regret, and if you’re lucky, maybe a little bit of fun. Here, the hope is that you get to a place of so much pain that you finally ask for help.

Hi, Nest!

Cowboy - spot on post. I particularly resonated with what you wrote above. I truly believed that I could find a way to control my drinking and only when I REALLY tried - quit for a month at a time and then just drank more - did I realize that there was no use. I used to say "I have to really control my drinking because I don't want to have to quit!" I should have listened to myself then, but as you say, I'm not sure I had the capacity.

NS - That is a good description of the loneliness of drinking. I usually didn't overdo in front of people too much, but I drank when I got home - "a nightcap" that was a triple... During the last year of my drinking I felt very isolated, too.

Marylou - Congratulations!

Overit - Any way you can get your husband to move the party? I found that isolation is what I needed at first - quiet contemplation and plenty of time and space to read, watch videos, etc. I loved the blogs Unpickled, Mrs. D is going without and another one - I'll have to go find it so I can recommend it. Yes, you can do it. You recently went 7 months - but don't make it harder than it has to be. Take care of yourself, figure out what YOU need, and ask for it.

Good night, nest!

Pav

[Lavande]

Good evening Nesters,

Still dealing with the headache but not nearly as bad as this morning - geez! A summer cold just doesn't seem fair, ha ha!

Overit, get your day 1 done & never, ever look back, OK? You have the power to make this your very last day 1 ever

Marylou, congrtas to you in your 18 AF months - wonderful!!!!

Cowboy, all that stuff we tell ourselves is BS. I knew that but just didn't seem to care. I was feeling hurt & depressed & basically hopeless for way too long. Now that I found my way out of that mess I am never going back

Hello to everyone & wishing for a safe night in the nest for all!

Lav

[Overit-still]

OMG! Had a huge comment here on my phone and it timed out and lost it! 😡 now you'll just have to wait until tomorrow

[Pavati]

What a great milestone, MaryLou! Congratulations!

[lifechange]

Morning Nesters,
Great post, AB...Thanks for that.

I'm a bit on edge this morning and I think it's because of a long planned dinner out with work-colleagues/friends and the first time I really have to find a reason I'm not drinking. I know I don't really need a reason. Actually the more I think about it (have been for about half an hour) I think I'll just go with, "I don't drink any more. Every time I do/did I got such a terrible headache (true) that I stopped". I'll go to the gym ahead of time so that I'm feeling strong. I guess now is a time that I just wish I didn't have to think about it, that I could just go out and enjoy myself without wishing I didn't have to go..even though theoretically I wanted to go. I'm seeing now that this is a situation where I would have had drinks ahead of time to be able to "deal with and enjoy". So tonight I'll do my best to stay present in the moment... I won't drink, no matter what!
Wanted to write it down and get it out there so that I can come home tonight and tell you all that I DID it!!

[available]

Evening nesters

Congratulations Marylou on 18 months a great set of numbers and doesnt it feel good to not want to drink as time goes on.

overit, its hard when others in the house drink. My son drinks and i asked him not to around me please and thank you. He respected that as he knew i was going through hell and if he did drink i hid in the bedroom with door closed, on here or you tube watching documentaries.

LC you wont drink as you dont drink but the firsts are hard to deal with until you get there and it wasnt that bad after all.

I have had a week i wish was over with. Robert told me he has between 2 weeks and two months to live. To be told by him was just gut wrenching but he seems to be very much at peace and just wants to do a few things on his bucket list. My uncle who was 92 died after a diagnosis of lung cancer. It was quick and peaceful but my mother who would not go and see him as she wanted to know how long he had now wont see him. I did mention to her that at 92 with cancer it would not be overly long. She seems to want to throw her guilt onto me which makes me stressed and want to drink but i wont. I used to drink AT her but i wont let her win now. Apparently i am too busy with life to be worried about her and a cold she has had for 6 days. I'm ready to POP but i have a personal training session at the gym tomorrow which i am sure will take all the frustration away.

Hope you feel better soon Lav, I am getting stress headaches for some reason but beats a hangover headache any day.

take care everyone x

[IamMary]

Hi. I’ve been floating on and off this site for a while and decided that I had to take the plunge and post (I am a complete forum virgin). I have reached the 30 day mark a couple of time, and then my brain tells me, ‘sure a couple of glasses tonight and you’ll be grand’. Which I am, for a while. And then I’m not.

I just read Ancowboys post above. Great post, thank you.

So day 3, hello again.

On the upside, the gaps are getting smaller in between attempts. I LOVE the mornings, which it is here now, I’m sitting in work. 6-10pm are tough, especially the weekends. Hubby likes his few beers which does not help. This weekend will be busy, which will help.
Brilliant site, I’m glad I stumbled upon it. Certainly, I don’t feel like I am on my own anymore:happy2:.
Mary.

[Guitarista]

Welcome back Mary and congrat's on day 3! That's a huge achievement friend. Keep it going. Great stuff.

Take care of yourself there Ava. I hope tomorrow is a better day all round. :happy2:

Keep up the great work sober rebels!

[Byrdlady]

Good Morning, Nesters, and welcome aboard, Mary!
If you've done 30 days before, then you know what it takes to muscle thru the first challenging days. If you haven't, check out our Tool Box (link below), it is filled to all kinds of documentation to help you along. I find something new each time I visit and I've been here a while! Grab on to us with both drinking fists and we will help you navigate the waters! However, no tool is any good if you don't use it, so USE us, we thrive on helping others!

Work has suddenly spouted horns and a tail, so I'm off to whack the weasel. Hope everyone has an easy day! Byrdie

[Pie]

Welcome, Mary! Glad you found us.

[LilBit]

MaryLou, congrats to you!

Hi Mary and welcome to the Nest. Settle on to a twig. This is indeed a great place to be. More than that -- the support here is a lifeline. And, congrats on your Day 3. Keep your guard up. Day 3 can be a tricky time because you're starting to feel better.

Overit and anyone else who has a drinking spouse: you can use the drinking behavior as a mirror for what you don't want to be. Look at it honestly, without denial or rose-colored glasses: the strong breath when they come in for a kiss, the clank of countless empty bottles, the wasted time and money and (if they've been at it for a while) the belly, the sweatiness and the overall unhealthy appearance. Take a good hard gander. Is this what you want for yourself? Also, I always said that my live-in fiance's drinking and prodding me to "just have one" activated my stubborn streak. Come on Overit, I know you have one of those! I would rather have danced a samba on fire naked in Union Square than given him the satisfaction.

[TJAF]

Welcome Mary! I found posting on this thread and the Roll Call thread to be a big help when I first started out. As Byrdie has already pointed out the toolbox is a great tool for the newbie as well. Hang in there, read a lot and post often! Welcome again.

[Coco--Nut]

Good morning - Day 6 here. At work and can't stop to contribute anything meaningful (lol) but want to stay connected at the very least. Feeling good! :happy2:

[NoraC]

Coco!!!!! Wow - great to see you!!!!!

I was thinking that I need to start over in the newbie's nest and look who I run into?!?!?

:hug:

Hello to everyone else. I am hoping that I can join in with you all and work on these issues that are NOT going away.

[Overit-still]

Good morning! Great posts! And yes Lil Bit this red hair gives me away in the attitude department. Running off to my Dr appt, will let you know how hard he laughs at me for my drunken blood tests. Check back later with some great trivia

Edited because I'm on my stupid phone!