Newbies Nest

[Byrdlady]

Mary, around here, 7 days is BIG doings!
Nesters, shall we? Drop those britches for a two-cheeked salute that only WE can deliver! A full moon!
:butt: You've conquered every day the week can throw at you! The worst is behind you! GREAT job!

Mary, I got my new molds in the mail today around 1:30 and I finished the cake around 4:30, so about 3 hours. I have always enjoyed baking cakes, but when I frosted them, they looked awful. I cant pipe out of a bag to save my life, but Im finding fondant to be FUN to do. Ive been watching YouTube videos to figure it out. We should talk! Hugs and keep up the great work! Byrdie

[Pavati]

Hi, Everyone:

Thanks for the 600 congratulations. I actually don't know which day is 600, so I'll just take a couple of days to party. Whoot!

My speeches are never as profound or funny as Ava's - all I can say is 600 days ago I never felt as afraid and anxious in my whole life. I look back in my journal for the year that led up to that day, and all I see is the word fear. I kept thinking if I just tried harder I could control my drinking. Now, I wonder why I WANTED to control it. I still sometimes wish I was "normal," (well, I actually only wish to be "normal" in the drinking realm - otherwise I am perfectly happy to be abby-normal) and could have a glass of champagne at a wedding, but otherwise I am so much happier not drinking. My body is healthy, my mind is free from the burden of thinking about alcohol all the time (even when I wasn't drinking), and my relationships - especially with my immediate family - are so much smoother. In other words, I don't drink, and I don't want to drink. When I logged on here for the second time (after a terrible three-week attempt at moderation), I was afraid, but so very relieved to finally be asking for help. I knew I could never drink again and have the life I wanted, so I had to take the choice off the table - I can't/won't/don't drink - so what do I do now??? I followed the nest moms and did what they told me to do - even when I didn't believe it would work. What? If I say what I am grateful for it will help me stay sober?

I could go on and on, but I won't. I am in the process of cleaning my house as we are going away for a week tomorrow. I am not drinking while packing, and I will not use my "flight anxiety" as an excuse for a double bloody mary tomorrow morning. I am so grateful to you all here on MWO who are brave enough to come share your stories and help others along the way. That is the beauty of a community like this - day one or day 1,000, you are helping someone who is coming after you.

ANYWAY...

Happy SOBER Saturday, nest. If you're lurking, come join - you will never regret not drinking.

Pav

[available]

Morning nesters

Thanks to all for the 600 days wishes, i like to remember the round numbers, it makes me feel a great sense of achievement and something to be very proud of. every af day is something to be very very proud of.

Happy 600th Pav. You were always there with me and still are and isn't it a wonderful life now. When we both decided to celebrate at 2000 days (i think) and we were newly quit, i personally never thought I would get there but now its getting closer and close. Nothing like a long term goal! I highly advise a quit buddy, you go through the same emotions, maybe at different times but you dont do it alone and to know that Pav was dealing with the same shite seemed to make it a lot easier to tolerate and to think "well she got through it so i will too".

Iam, i could not imagine 600 days, god i could not imagine 30 when i first stopped. I dont think about al except to be grateful i do not drink. Occasionally though i still have a thought, mainly when i am highly stressed or emotional but i wont open that al door. I say to myself "i dont drink" and i carry on with life. I certainly do not miss al and i certainly dont miss how it made me feel or act but it has been the hardest thing i have ever had to do, even childbirth four times was a breeze. The second year is good, very good and it can only get better.

MrV i was a basket case when i first stopped drinking. I was not called "lunatic Linda" for a reason but my mind was set. Do or die, i remember walking in circles the need for a drink was that bad, standing in my sons rooms saying nothing but knowing i needed to be somewhere and not driving to the bottlo with the feck its. I sometimes felt like i was going insane but luckily time proved that it gets better and better and as long as i didnt drink, i was okay.

LC, as you know you are special to me. you started me on this journey, i was so proud of what you had achieved and i am still proud of you now. you were showing me how it was done and how good it was, so it is a pleasure to show you now that there is light at the end of the tunnel and it is fantastic this sober life.

Robert is okay. Too many visitors and it is tiring him out but we did have an "us" lunch on Friday and that made us both regroup and be happy. his kidneys are shutting down and without IV fluids i dont think it will be long but he wants to go home and he says he can come to the hospital 3 times a week for fluids. he cant do it, i know that but i wont take his hope off him. i can just be there until the end and as hard as it will be i have said to him, i have enjoyed our time together and i will have no guilt when he dies that i did not see him or be there, not like his arsehole of a boyfriend. (oh did i say that!). he is a strong, brave and courageous man but his fight is nearly over.

Take care x

[Guitarista]

Speaking of celebrations, The P-AVA Twins and their 600 big days? That is AWESOME! Can you imagine? That is a long time! I am so proud of you both, what ROLE MODELS you both are! ICONS, even! Keep up the great work! :fairy: You are both a blessing!

These gals sure are. Congratulations Ava and Pav. I am always grateful for your words of support.

Congratulations on 7 days Mary. Bravo!

Hope the pooch has a great birthday Byrdy.

Take care out there Nesters.

[LavenderBlue]

Well, I just got off work so this will be quick since I'm dying for a shower! I just got a bunch of stuff from Bath and Body Works that I'd ordered. It's one of the weird things I stopped doing when I was drinking, especially near the end. Well, I didn't stop showering entirely (though some days....yeah), but definitely spending time and money on nice bath stuff. Everything I still owned was old enough to not be any good anymore, ick! I don't know why that just now occurred to me as something I missed, I'll add that to the list of "I keep rediscovering things the longer I'm sober."

I have tomorrow off at least, so I'm looking forward to one day to relax. Depending on the weather I might take the dog out to a park for a bit, I've been promising him we'd go soon.

Two quick things though, in case I forget later:

Ava and Pav - YAY 600 DAYS!!!!! \o/ *Snoopy happy dance* I love reading what you two post, and I'm so happy for you both. And Ava, you show such strength and compassion about Robert, he is so blessed to have a friend like you there for him.

IamMary - I think I was still crowing about being able to do things in the evening into my second month sober, at least. I'd never before realized how much PLANNING it used to take to be able to drive anywhere in the evening, I felt a burst of freedom just being able to run to the store if I wanted. Your post reminded me that I'm still grateful for that, so thank you.

Support out to every else as well, I do read every post on here and each one gives me something to think about, something to be grateful for, and reminds me I'm lucky to have this community.

[Lavande]

Good evening Nesters,

Had a real nice day

Pav & Ava, CONGRATS & HUGs to both of you :hug:
I am wishing for everything wonderful for you girls!

Mary, CONGRATS on your 7 AF days :welldone:

LavB, I love Bath & Body Works stuff!!! Enjoy!!

Hello to everyone & wishing for a safe & peaceful night in the nest for all!
Great cake there Ms Byrdie

Lav

[abcowboy]

Howdy everyone! Won’t go into how my Saturday went, it was brutal, to me anyway. One of the few times “I wish” came to mind more than once! But I did as my counsellor suggested, stepped out of myself, looked at me, and then shook off what I was feeling! Then I went to Dairy Queen for the biggest Crispy Crunch Blizzard they sell! Better than Budweiser eh! So now here we are, Bubba, Hank, and myself, out at the farm in our 32’ camper while it pours rain outside, good time to catch up on some reading!

I was reading online about an outfit called The Recovery Place in Fort Lauderdale, and as a public service, they recently compiled a list of misconceptions about alcoholism and addiction, along with some thoughtful responses from a panel of seasoned experts. I picked out three of the more prevalent clichés, while adding a bit of well-earned wisdom of my own. "Most people live in a myth and grow violently angry if anyone dares to tell them the truth about themselves,” the Recovery Place waxed poetically as a prelude to its piece. Nice! Try using that on your alkie aunt if she gives you any guff about packing her bags for Betty Ford.

Myth #1: If you can't control your cravings you're just selfish and weak. If you exhibited just the slightest bit of willpower you could easily beat this thing. Sounds pretty reasonable, doesn't it? We'd all like to believe that we have control over our actions. But the truth is, most of our behavior in life is guided by factors beyond our control, which is why I think this well-worn maxim is one of the most destructive myths around. Think about it. Do you really enjoy waking up in a suburban Comfort Inn next to a married housewife who bears more than a remote resemblance to the handyman at work? Do you love waking up in a pool of your own vomit? Do you find it fun to black out six hours of your life every weekend? As The Recovery Place notes: “No one would destroy their lives by a choice not influenced by some sort of psychological or physiological problem.” Addiction is caused by a complex set of genetic and psychological issues that nobody understands. All we know, really, is that addiction to anything is probably rooted in complex genetics. Also, it really sucks. And when cravings have actively got you in their grip, simple willpower usually doesn't stand a chance.

Myth #2: Hitting rock bottom is the only way to achieve successful recovery. BS, our experts retort. It's true that some people need to hit rock bottom before they can be convinced to turn their lives around. But just as often, families intervene successfully, and convince their loved ones to trundle off to treatment with barely a whimper. But for most of us, the realization that we have a problem is a cumbersome and gradual process. No one wants to think of themselves as addicts or alcoholics. It's all so tawdry and gauche. But then there comes that day, after a 72-or 84-hour binge, when you finally wake up and realize that if you don't get help, you'll end up permanently losing your family, your job, and inevitably your life. That's when you may start to get your priorities straight, realize how little time you have left in this world; think about your anguished spouse, your angry boyfriend or your incredibly cute three-your-old nephew and decide how you'd like to spend the moments you have left.

Myth #3: If you relapse and drink again, you give up all the gains you've made since you became sober and have to start all over again. BS again! You're sure to risk many things in the course of your life—your hair, your credit rating, your dignity, and quite possibly your liver—but the one thing no one can steal take away from you is your experience. Nobody ever said that quitting drinking would be easy. But even if you suffer a few slips along the way, you never have to go back to square one, because you've already been there. Even a short stint of sobriety can provide you with a positive base on which you can build a new foundation, as well as friendships and a support group that you can rely on. Your past successes (and defeats) will provide you with a base of knowledge that can help you avoid future mistakes, and take you further along than you ever were before.

We live in a world full of limitless possibilities. Giving up is the only thing that can keep you down, so never ever give up on your quit!

[lifechange]

Good morning, Nesters,

So instead of 6am, I woke up at 3:58! I think the combination of a new workout plan, a new nutrition plan, that darn 5pm coffee, winds of 70mph, could it be a full moon? and a mosquito in the room had me awake at that crazy hour.. I managed to stay in bed, listening to music until 5:30 and then said to heck with it.. hopefully I'll get in a nap in later today!

Mary, Congratulations on 7 days!! Good for you for getting to bed early last night.. It's still difficult for me sometimes when my partner leaves (will be on Monday for a week) as, like you said, there's no one there to see what's going on. I've fallen for that a number of times.. and so he might not know, but it's my body and mind and I'M the one who suffers whether or not anyone else knows! Netflix can be a life saver, can't it? And have you stocked up on a lot of nice teas? Do you like tea? I have all sorts and it's become not only an alternative to alcohol, but almost a confirmation that I don't drink. You're doing a great job!

Lavblue, I always enjoy reading your posts.. love it when you let us know what's up in your world. I'm also really enjoying special bath/shower products and lotions..My self care was pretty awful at times, as I know we can all relate to. Even if I did keep up with showering I was always sweating and felt "sour". Yuck!

AB, thanks for the list of myths. Man, I wish we had a Dairy Queen here sometimes... I hope the rain stops soon so you can get out and about. Do you have horses with you?

Byrdie, Happy doggy birthday! How nice to have others to celebrate with.. the cake is gorgeous! What do the dogs get for a special treat?

ok now I'm hungry, so off to make some oatmeal..
Big fat hugs to all of you lovely Nesters!! So happy to have you all here. Strength in Numbers..

[Mr Vervill]

Myth #3: If you relapse and drink again, you give up all the gains you've made since you became sober and have to start all over again. BS again! Even a short stint of sobriety can provide you with a positive base on which you can build a new foundation, as well as friendships and a support group that you can rely on. Your past successes (and defeats) will provide you with a base of knowledge that can help you avoid future mistakes, and take you further along than you ever were before.

Good to hear this Cowboy, as I do feel I'm making progress each time I quit. This is not to say that I'm giving my self a hall pass on weekends, weddings and special events.
I am trying to work it, just struggling, like many before me.
LC, this is what I mean by being a mess. Sober for days, and sometimes weeks at at time, then Fail.
The cycle is brutal when I drink, it kills the spirit. No will to do anything.
As Bridget said in the What was your Rock bottom thread, "byebyebridgetjones;1070900 wrote:
I just woke up one morning and could not think of a single thing that I wanted to do, not a person that I wanted to see, no place that I wanted to go nor any experience that I wanted to have. Nothing. Empty."
Sad indeed.
However, to see the success of so many here gives me a lot of hope. Along with all the support. That's why I keep coming back.
Pav 600 Too ! Congrats!

[Dutch1988]

Congrats Ava and Pav on 600 days! I would love to join you someday, what a nice number!

Mary I recently congratulated my brother on 7 days, it was nice because I could give him a 2 cheeked salute in person, in the mean time way to go!

Today started out stressful and ended nicely. I wokeup at 3am stressing about running a tournament event at my school. My daughter would not stop crying either, she never went back to sleep after 330am, so I started the day at 3am with 3 hours of sleep. I thought about how hard it would have been if I had been drinking, and I did crack and by some coffee since I haven't been drinking any for 3 weeks, but I figured these are the occasions I can have one, instead of 4 cups everyday!

I have a 5000 square foot facility that provides enough space we can run events like this, but it is just so much work. I do it mostly for the students, we barely make anything off the event, it's just nice to have our guys compete against my instructors school. Aside from some hiccups that seemed monumental last night, things worked out just fine today.

My wife let me take a nap while she packed for Hawaii, which was nice since I was beat. We went over to my parents and my daughter and nephew were swimming with my two older sisters and mom. She was having such a great time I decided to join in. They were making margaritas, enjoying some drinks as is standard for my family. Instead I was flipping the kids into the water and practicing tucking, and playing with the kids like crazy. They were a great distraction from drinking, and although it still bothered me, I still enjoyed myself quite a bit. My brother in law showed up after an few hours and built a fire while the kids watched the sunset from the deck, the hot air balloons float up and down, and we warmed ourselves by the fire. It was a pretty terrific evening, and I don't think alcohol could have made it much better, other than feeling a little more connected to my family.

An interesting thing to point out for anyone who comes from an alcoholic family/culture, is to be super aware of the social constructions you have built around alcohol since your main unit drinks. I liken it to being overweight but justifying it as alright because your family is all overweight and your not as bad as so and so. I was talking to my sister on the deck while she enjoyed a margarita, she offered me some but I told her I was good, I haven't told her I am not drinking. My older brother had a child recently and kept it a secret for 9 months they were expecting, and didn't bother sending a picture to my sisters that the kid was born, some long standing grudge between SIL and them I guess. She was clearly &*^%ed up, and very emotional about it, slipped while talking to me and hit the ground. Totally not normal for her, she drinks all the time and I have never seen her like this. I immediately justified it that she was over served by my other sister, or that she was just upset at my brother, or she has been dieting for awhile and wedding shopping probably made her more of a light weight. Never once did it cross my mind that she was using alcohol to numb her pain related to my brother, and that I have seen her do the same thing in the past with other emotional events. I always thought of this as normal, and still right now cannot conceive dealing with emotional traumas and drinking as not being synonymous. The past 3 funerals I have been to my entire family drank the entire time, the last funeral for my grandmother we started right when we got back, seemingly the harder the hurt the sooner we drank. I don' know quite what to make of the scene, it just struck me as notable, being the only non-drinker there.

Anyway, I am off to Hawaii tomorrow with every intention of staying sober. My FIL has already pissed me off, so that's good, better to get it out of the way. I brought my tea, have a mini-steeper inside a tea mug and I know the hotel will have ice for my DOC, iced decaf green tea with some holy basil. Have my exercise equipment and there is a gym there, hopefully it will be a good one. I have plans to visit a parkour gym, go water skiing, take my brother in law surfing and spending the mornings out there catching some waves, practicing my martial arts without the stress of making money by the beach, swimming with my daughter my the pool and in the water, enjoying a luau with my wife for our 3rd wedding anniversary(11 years together), have my mac to keep me busy at night and help me check in, I am going to give this my all. Thanks for all the advice everyone! Hopefully tomorrow I will be checking in sober and smiling!

[available]

Now that is the Dutch I like to see, positive and having a plan. enjoy your holiday, it will be a lovely first for you even if it has some trying times and dont forget about us here, thinking of you!

Funny when you said about funerals. My brother died of liver failure from al and we went to his funeral and the night before got leglessly blind and at the wake we were so hungover we just had to drink again. FFS he died from al and here we were celebrating his life with it. Of course i kept saying to myself that i was not as bad as my brother was, so i was okay. Little did i know that 6 years later i was living the life he lived for most of his life. I do know that he would be very proud of me now for achieving what he could not.

Mary, my apologies for not mentioning your wonderful achievement on 7 days. Great work and onwards you go! I used to have a calendar and mark off the days and every 7 days in the beginning i would drag my boys to that calendar so they could see those black crosses. my incentive to keep walking the walk.

[Guitarista]

Hola Nesters near and not so far,

Onya Ava!

Safe travels to you and your family Dutch. Have a gr8 time. Will be thinking of you buddy.

Hope all are safe and sound. Think positive and take it easy. G

[little beagle]

Dutch love your plan.
Ava and Pav congratulations on hitting a big 600 days. I too like nice, round numbers.
Mr. V good to see you here. Just never give up.
Rahul health is so important. Glad to see you here.
Hope the day is special for Ruby. 8 years old.
Thanks Cowboy. Reading the one about willpower being enough kind of hit home with me, Hubby is struggling so hard right now.
Even though I am waking up so much earlier then I planned to this morning it's ok. I feel rested. And that never happened on Sundays when I was drinking.

[jane27]

[Lavande]

Good Sunday morning Nesters!

Great to see so many checking in today!

Dutch, your plan sounds solid. Wishing you a wonderful & safe AF vacation

Hello to everyone & wishing for a great AF day for all!

Lav