Newbies Nest

[Lavande]

Good morning Nesters,

Oh boy Dutch, sorry you have had such a rocky start on your vacation in paradise. That just shouldn't happen ;(
I am not a fan of roaches either & am pretty sure I would find another place. Hang in there & try to enjoy the good stuff. Just think of the stories you'll have to tell your grandkids

LC, unhung Monday mornings are the best! No argument there!!

Hey there Matt, Jane & everyone!
My grandsons are arriving at 10 am so it's going to be a full day for me.

Wishing everyone a great AF Monday!

Lav

[abcowboy]

Dutch, I think Matt and Lav had some great advice, memories are what you make of them. They can be good or bad, it’s all up to you. I can understand frustration of a $100 buck a night sleazy hotel room, but maybe take your FIL to the hardware store with you to buy a can of roach spray, a subtle way of letting him know you’re not happy.

I might be way off base here, but it seems to me that your AV is kicking into high gear to convince you that he can get you through your holiday a lot easier. I used my in-laws as an excuse to drink every chance I got! They are both Ukrainians, MIL (now 76) was close to be called a mail order bride and came to Canada from “the old country, as she calls it” to marry the FIL (now 82). They saw each other 3 times and then got married, and celebrated their 50th. Anniversary this past January! They are still very much “old country” in the language they speak, the way they act, and think. It used to drive me crazy! Saturday was a real test for me, as I spent the day with them at an auction sale where they added some of their older household items trying to start clearing out their house of the things they no longer require. There was a big argument over a $10.00 tow rope as to whether it should go to the sale! To make my story shorter, we loaded my 16’ cargo trailer with all sorts of things that I would have just hauled to the dump! So after an hour drive to get there, load the trailer, spend all day at the auction, end up re-loading an old couch and chair and treadmill that they couldn’t even get a $1 bid on, and still an hour drive back home with the stuff still in my trailer that I now have to deal with. At the end of the day, they made $176.00 on the stuff that did sell, hardly enough to pay for my fuel let alone a wasted Saturday. And to top it off, the MIL expected Bubba and me to try to find a new home for the stuff that didn’t sell instead of hauling to the dump!

What I’m getting at here, is that I let myself believe that the day was all about me! About the fuel, time, expense, and still have to deal with a few items still in the trailer. It was time once again to step out of myself and tell myself that it was a day all about them. Yes, they were disappointed that their things sold very cheaply, but the basement is much cleaner and they have an extra $176 bucks in their pocket.

It’s all about service, giving back. I will have a lot more Saturdays ahead of me, the good Lord willing, many more than they will have. And if they are happy, so should I be. You’ll have a lot more family vacations, many without the in-laws, so let this one holiday be about them!

[Byrdlady]

Morning, Nesters! Dutch and Cowboy, both of your stories tie in perfectly to what I was going to post!

As you may know, my step son in law (my step daughter's husband) passed away suddenly Jan 2, 2014. They' d been married 11 years and we've helped them move 4 times. It was awful. In 2007, when they finally moved to the current location, we were confident that our moving days were over. Since his death, she has decided to move into a smaller place that's easier to keep up. We (hubs and I and 2 other sets of friends) have taken over 20 truck loads of crap to the dump! He saved every WIRE, scrap of wood, had every tool (and duplicates) had every owners manual of any appliance he ever owned...and I think every appliance he ever owned. The man was a hoarder. It has been a difficult task getting her pared down to move! It has been a tremendous burden. So I decided to get in my closets over the weekend and get rid of stuff that I seem to have for no good reason. This led me over to the VHS tape stockpile. We have several from my company vacations and some from old home movies I want to get transferred to thumb drives. There was a video of Aruba we took in 1995. So we watched it. That was 20 years ago (in my drinking PRIME), we were there for a week, and I barely remember any of it. We stayed at an all-inclusive resort where we could get drinks any/all hours and I did. I had a drink in my hand the whole time. I remember a little bit of the view outside our room, but the activities and the rest of the island looked like I was seeing it yesterday for the first time. I know 20 years is a long time and memories fade, but what a shame that I was blasted the whole time and don't remember most of it. My eyes look glazed over in the video. UGG. I wish I had a do-over.

Dutch, which island are you on? I'm so sorry about the roaches...I tell you, I HATE THOSE THINGS. Your FIL sounds like a real charm.....this is NOT you, it's HIM! And I have found that an asshole is an asshole is an asshole and there is NO changing them. I'm sorry that you have to endure that, but living is learning, at least you have a beautiful backdrop for the whole thing!! Very proud of you!!

Hope everyone has an easy week! Byrdie

[All done drinking]

Hi Byrdie,

Related to your story in the fact of how I have missed so many things when being too tipsy. Have a hard core drinking BIL and it seems that every holiday has been a blur or semi blur because after the big dinner is done, we would drink, drink, drink. Not real interaction with the kids (if I am real honest).

I am a light weight drinker, I am buzzed at two and drunk at three. I don't process the poison well. So, I really get sloppy on holidays when the drinks flow and I end up having 4 or 5. Years ago, holidays would be at my brothers (before marriage) and we would play dice games, board games, and socialize. None of the drinking too much where you end up being nonmotivated and just want to go to bed. Crazy when I think about it. Thanks for sharing your story. Nice that things are so much more clearer and I am totally present for my family without drinking.

Addy (All Done Drinking...Yes!) :love:

[IamMary]

Instead of thinking about how you don't get to drink anymore, rejoice that you don't have to! This is an opportunity to live the life you want.

Thanks NS, you are absolutely right. I was just having a moment feeling sorry for myself. Another Monday with a clear head, hallelujah! I had a lot to be grateful for today. Even the rain stopped long enough to run!

Lifechange, 42 sounds good, must check it out. And thanks for the support.

Hope Dutch reports back soon, im looking forward to the next episode!

[Dutch1988]

ABC I really don't know if this trip is about them, because they aren't acting like it. we just finished up Pearl Harbor, which was actually very enjoyable. I have always been into history and it was nice walking around actually caring about what I read instead of waiting to get out to have a drink. I have been enjoying my daughter, who decided to poop right in the middle of the theatre. I ran with a poopy baby on my head to the car and back, made it just before the boat left for the uss Arizona. That would have been tough hungover, sober I wasn't even breathing hard after I got back from a 10 minute sprint to the car. Grateful for that.

I woke up at 5 and hit the gym. At least this place has a few dumb bells I can workout with. Aside from work texts that are drama, and fighting with my MIL because we need to learn to save so we can enjoy more trips like this (I countered I am learning, to not waste a vacation with my family in a hotel with roaches if I am going to save money), I am hanging in there. Just trying to get back to our roach motel so I can eat because I am getting those in between meal urges...it's been an uphill battle all day.

[Lavande]

Good evening Nesters,

My long day watching my grandsons went well but I'm glad it's over so I can sit for a while. Two boys ages 4 & 6 sure can make a lot of noise, ha ha!!

Dutch, hang in there, it's bound to get better. I was just thinking about my friend who has two kids who are naval officers & happen to be stationed in Hawaii right now. Apparently the roach problem is pretty typical, even in the 'nicer areas' or so I've been told. Too much moisture in paradise I suppose.

Hi there Mary & Addy! You're both doing great

Wishing everyone a safe & peaceful night in the nest!!

Lav

[jane27]

Dutch, you're doing a great job checking in and venting the frustration to us. Talking helps wonders, and time sweetens even the most sour memories. Keep on truckin'. Looking forward to hearing about tomorrow!

[Lavande]

Good morning Nesters & happy Tuesday!

Hi there Jane & where's everyone else?

Wishing everyone a good AF Tuesday!

Lav

[Pavati]

Hi All-

Checking in from vacation w no wifi. I hate typing on my phone but wanted to let you know I am here.

Dutch - I love the other side of Oahu. Shave ice at the Kailua store and the Kailua Beach park is beautiful. Sorry for your struggles there.

NS another great post. So true - we don't have to drink.

Byrdie- I've had those feelings looking back at pictures. Drunk drunk drunk hungover drunk...

Off on another adventure.

Pav

[Byrdlady]

Good Morning, Nesters!
Dutch, great news that you were able to fully take in the USS Arizona in Pearl Harbor, that was a moving experience for me. My dad was in WWII and went off to war shortly after that happened. Did you see oil floating up from the ship to the surface of the water? That is weird to think after all these years, that still happens. I imagine mostly what your MIL is teaching you is to NEVER vacation with family! Bahaha! You sure get to know people when you travel with them! I am so happy to hear that you are having a good time with your daughter!
Mary, great to see you! Keep up the GREAT work! Stay busy and keep your mind occupied and your tummy full. That's what helped me!
Jane, great to see you, as always!
Hope everyone has an awesome day!! Byrdie

[abcowboy]

Our Quitriplets celebrate 7 months today!


enzo'smom, mywayin, & Soft Focus!

[Kailey]

My heart is so full this morning. It's 5:50 am, usually the last moment I can stay in bed before getting up to go to work. This morning, however, I woke up really early and instead of trying to catch some extra sleep I jumped out of bed, anxious to start the day. I've already got my exercise in and talked to one of my daughters who lives in a different time zone. Now I'm enjoying the rare treat of watching my garden come to life on a weekday morning. Birds are everywhere and it's just beautiful in the morning light.

I still have time to pack a healthy breakfast and lunch and visit with my husband before I have to leave for work. I love being sober. On days like this I wonder why I ever even struggle. I wouldn't trade this for the world! Life is good!

[Dutch1988]

Checking in this morning. Finished my workout at the gym and now we are going hiking. I don't know where because I couldn't understand my FIL's accent but it sounds like it should be a beautiful site. I could have escaped this morning but my BIL would have gone with them and it seemed cold to abandon him with the parents when he has been a nice person to vent to during the trip. So I will carry the little goober on my head and tell myself this is what people who don't drink get up early and enjoy.

Byrdie I did see the oil, pretty crazy it is just going to continue to leak long after I am gone.

I am hanging in there but I never thought about drinking this much before, even early into my quit. Keep in mind, I stopped drinking because I used AL to deal with uncomfortable feelings, but also for every single vacation/celebration ever. This is the first big event without it I would associate as planning to enjoy myself the whole time, so its hard to not picture alcohol with me.

[Mr Vervill]

Dutch,
I'd just like to say, you are sounding strong. With all that's happened to you, you still have a sense of humor. Despite the crazy AL voice, I think you'll make it through this trip. Just keep busy. Well Done!
Well done as well, Mary and Kailey.
Byride, I think nearly every photo I have of my self from high school on, (40 yrs) I have a drink in my hand. Crazy.

Suffering through a heat wave here, and the AC is out, not just a band-aid fix, a full unit replacement. Only 85 in the bedroom. LOL, might sleep in the basement,