Newbies Nest

[Lavande]

Good evening Nesters,

Lil, I remember my parents having one of the bug zappers. I thought it was kinda gross at the time but can see the value of it now Glad you have found peace. I hope Ivan gets the hang of the new door soon, ha ha.

Marylou, Happy Birthday
And great on your 18 AF months - yay!

TJ, glad to know you've got your priorities right, ha ha!!!

Byrdie, I have a tiny chicken shaped cookie cutter. I use it to make animal cracker/cookies for the kids. But I surely do not decorate them - that's not even in the realm of possibilities for me. I am definitely decorating challenged.

Matt, sorry your temps are so harsh - makes a pretty shitty work environment, huh?

Hi there Jane & everyone checking in tonight.
Wishing everyone a safe & comfy night in the nest!

Lav

[Mr Vervill]

Happy birthday, Marylou!

Well it looks like I'm off to Las Vegas in the morning, then up to Park City, UT. My crazy, crazy schedule.
I don't much care for Vegas, nothing there is real, and the booze flows like a river, most of it free. I do not not plan to partake, and will try to get out of town ASAP.

[Pavati]

Hi, Everyone:

I AM BACK! I had a fabulous and sober vacation - was able to do so much because I wasn't hungover, including a ton of walking, and none of that stopping by a store on the way up to the hotel room. I honestly love sober vacations. There was one little tug after a long HOT day, but it was quick and my thirst was quenched by a fizzy water/lime drink and lots of ice.

The BEST part about a sober vacation is that I can devote all of those alcohol calories to EATING - one of my favorite past times. Now I just have to get back to regular eating as opposed to vacation eating - I feel like snack all the time...

Sorry I can't read too far back tonight. I see Lil battle mossies (way to go!), and that Matt is blistering hot down in TX. Ava is hanging with Robert, LC is meditating at the gawdawful time of 5am, Byrdie and Lav are spewing wisdom, Marylou has her sober wits about her to deal with a difficult situation, and Mr. V is going to take Sin City by the horns and give it the what for. I know I missed a great deal else - hi to you all and I hope to catch up soon. Or at the very least, join the conversation stream from here on out.

Happy SOBER August.

Pav

[jane27]

I'm here with big & awesome news Nesters! Two of our very own are celebrating milestones today!

With much love & congratulations to Matt for 1 year and LilBit for 5 months! You guys bring so much to the party! You make my days brighter and my sobriety stronger. Keep up the good work! xoxoxoox Jane

[Lavande]

Good Tuesday morning Nesters!

CONGRATS on 1 year AF Matt :yay: :welldone:
I see your quit date in your signature line is actually 8/5/14 be we can start the celebration now! Keep going buddy, never look back!

Lil, CONGRATS on your 5 months AF - great work! You have had quite a few major changes during this time. Great job sticking to your plan!

Welcome back Pav! Sounds like you had a wonderful vacation!

Greetings to all, have a wonderful AF Tuesday!

Lav

[Byrdlady]

Oh my WORD!! There are big doings around here today!!! It's raining Firemen and Ice Skates!! Wow, where to start??!

Matt came in here a year ago and said he was 100% sure he couldn't do this alone. What a true statement that is. It has been a pleasure to see your progress and how much you have grown during this past year. I tell you, it isn't easy....we have to look in that mirror and see some harsh reflections, but you have faced them and are sorting them out. We are SO proud of you and we thank our lucky stars that you landed here with us. I am sorry that a forum for AL abuse brought us all together, but it is a privilege to be traveling with you. Congratulations on one year!!! :celebrate: SPEECH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What is different at a year? What worked, what didn't? It feels really good, doesn't it?!!

LilBit! 5 months? What a spin your life has been?!!! You came in here with determination to beat this thing, and by golly, you are doing it! What an escapade it has been! When life has turned you on your axil, you have picked yourself up and carried on with nary a falter! You are the epitome of recovery! We are SO proud of you and thankful that you are part of the team that is winning against these incredible foes. Keep up the great work and continue to stick those landings! Well done!! :balloons:

Ok, where is Dutch???
Pav, GREAT to have you back!! You sound re-charged!! We missed you and so glad to hear your story of how a sober vacation went right!!!

Wishing everyone an easy day.....like our prize winners today, it all starts with Day 1 and a commitment of NO MORE. Hugs to all, Byrdie

[Marylou123]

Huge congratulations to Matt on one year from alcohol freedom!

LilB - way to go on five glorious months.

Happy sober Tuesday nesters - make it a great one.

[jane27]

Good Tuesday morning Nesters!
CONGRATS on 1 year AF Matt :yay: :welldone:
I see your quit date in your signature line is actually 8/5/14 be we can start the celebration now! Keep going buddy, never look back!

Matt, I hope I didn't jump the gun!If I did, sorry! I will change dates no problemo!!!! x

[Londoner]

Another check in, after a stupid weekend. The reality is, I have been in a slump for a while now. And it is only getting worse.

I know it hits me harder, because deep down, it goes against who I am and what I am about. But, I'm starting to lose sight of who I am. I've been in this cycle so long now, that I am abusing substances harder than ever. Drinking small bottles of vodka mixed with cola on Sunday mornings after a binge because it numbs me out - and this is in front of family. They don't have a clue. Then numbing out in front of computers in bed for a day because it keeps my mind busy.

I need a 90 day stint clean. That is vital now. It is the 1st drink that sends me off. Avoid that and I am okay - the 1st drink leads me to environments and people that support my abuse.

Clear goal, avoid that 1st drink. I keep coming on here, same old bullshit. Feel a little better. Then get back on it. The lows are getting lower. I don't even know what normal or feels good is like any more.

[Marylou123]

Londoner - I'm sorry you had a tough weekend. That is the past! And today - the present - you've got two days AF under your belt. Tomorrow never gets here so try to stay in the present and keep racking up those precious AF days. We all know easier said than done -- but I've followed your posts and I know you've got it in you.

[Matt M.]

Good Tuesday morning Nesters!

CONGRATS on 1 year AF Matt :yay: :welldone:
I see your quit date in your signature line is actually 8/5/14 be we can start the celebration now! Keep going buddy, never look back!

Lil,

Lav

I have been a bit baffled by this as well, my calendar and day counting App put today at 365 days from 8-5-2014? Anyway in the future to make it easy I'll celebrate on 8/5/
Thanks for your leadership in these rooms!

EDIT- Solution F! It I'm celebrating today and tomorrow :spin::dancin:

[okoren1]

Londoner, Your post was really poignant. The depths you are dealing with are apparent.

On the other hand, you've been around here for a good amount of time and (I presume) read all the story's both success story's and folks who continue to struggle.

I further presume you've noticed that with the successes, they almost invariably start with, 1) a FIRM DECISION TO QUIT, along with 2) a well-conceived plan on how they are going prepare and execute on changes in their life-style that support that decision to quit?

[available]

MATT MATT MATT happy 1st birthday my darling man. So proud of you and what you have achieved in a year. you make me smile and laugh when there is not much of that. it has been a total pleasure for this sheila to have gotten to know you and i am so fucking proud of you today. I picked you as a determined man when you first posted on mwo a year ago, one that would succeed in what you set your mind to, one that was willing to reach out and ask for some help and take it, one to give some great advice further along. Sending you big hugs today on your special day, i wish i was there to celebrate it with you.

Lil congratulations on 5 months, another mwoer that has the grit and determination to make it to the other side. You know the drill lil and nothing will take what you want off you, even with being sick, getting rid of a partner but taking on the dog, you have taken it all in your stride,you are an amazing woman!

Mary happy birthday and 18 months, your words are a comfort and so positive.

off to the gym and work, will post an update laters. Bloody cold, im over it now.

take care xx

[LilBit]

Another check in, after a stupid weekend. The reality is, I have been in a slump for a while now. And it is only getting worse.

I know it hits me harder, because deep down, it goes against who I am and what I am about. But, I'm starting to lose sight of who I am. I've been in this cycle so long now, that I am abusing substances harder than ever. Drinking small bottles of vodka mixed with cola on Sunday mornings after a binge because it numbs me out - and this is in front of family. They don't have a clue. Then numbing out in front of computers in bed for a day because it keeps my mind busy.

I need a 90 day stint clean. That is vital now. It is the 1st drink that sends me off. Avoid that and I am okay - the 1st drink leads me to environments and people that support my abuse.

Clear goal, avoid that 1st drink. I keep coming on here, same old bullshit. Feel a little better. Then get back on it. The lows are getting lower. I don't even know what normal or feels good is like any more.

Londoner, that could easily have been me writing that exact post before I finally got it in my thick head that:

1. It's going to get much worse unless I do something.
2. There will never be a better time than right now to quit. I could wait until I kill myself with booze or do something stupid that hurts someone else, or I could take this golden, never-to-be-repeated opportunity to avoid the rock bottom moment that can't be taken back.

So, what's making you have "that 1st drink that sends you off?" If you can identify it, you can put yourself in a bubble apart from that trigger for long enough to get a good AF stretch that you can build upon. 90 days might seem a daunting goal if you're having trouble avoiding a single drink. How about a week or 30-day stint? 30 days seems to work for a lot of people.

[abcowboy]

Londoner, great to see you back! After a few slips while I was attending AA, an old timer told me he knew the one reason that everyone slips...can you figure it out?