Newbies Nest

[Lavande]

Good morning Nesters, happy Thursday to all!

I don't actually see any sunshine yet but that's OK. The weather forecast for today is 'Gorgeous'! That's good enough for me

LC, continue to focus on yourself & complete the healing process. We didn't get ourselves into trouble overnight so we really shouldn't expect to heal instantly. I'll tell you that I had to do a whole lot of soul searching & forgiving of myself & others. I also had to redraw some boundary lines & enforce them to protect myself & my quit. This truly is a one day at a time process so be kind to yourself :hug:

Matt, I am taking a day off from childcare today. I have the need to reconnect with some of my old nurse friends for lunch. We worked together for almost 15 years but never really had time to actually talk to each other, ha ha. This retirement thing doesn't suck

Pav, we have had a damp enough summer here on the east coast. Usually our lawns are dried out & brown by August but not so this year. I haven't seen any predictions for the winter yet. I hope we're not up to our eyeballs in snow!!!

Have a great AF day everyone!!

Lav

[Byrdlady]

Good Morning, Fellow Nesters!
Dutch, next time you get that tingle from a fever blister, run to the freezer and grab an ice cube. Wrap it in a paper towel and put it on your lip at the tingle. This will interrupt the cycle that fever blister is working up and prevent/make it less of an eye sore (lip sore). I used to be a dental hygienist and this is one of the few useful things we learned in pathology class! There's a prescription drug called Acyclovir that can be used...if you look at the word, it literally means 'to break the cycle' (loosely translated).
This really reminds me of the cycle of AL, once it gets going, it continues to the bitter end. If we can break that cycle, we can prevent LOTS of PAIN and embarrassment. I bet you were wondering how I was gonna work that in to the conversation!!

LC, it took me quite some time before I could honestly face the thoughts of NEVER drinking again. I knew it had to be, but just thinking about it worked me into a state. So I pushed those thoughts out until another time....and another time....and so forth. Then the time came that I did think about it, and you know what? I was just fine with it! AL didn't make anything better for me at all. It didn't make any wedding MORE memorable, prolly less so. It made no vacation better, that I can remember (oy). It made NO date better .....no occasion better so what the hell was I so sad about? I think it was the fact that I COULDN'T, and that really bugged me. Time heals a lot of things and this is one of them. Nowadays, I don't see the romance at all with sitting there with a drink (or 10). It isn't something I can't have, it's something I don't WANT. There is the difference. It's a great place to be. What are we REALLY hanging on to? If we give time TIME, great things will happen.
Hope everyone has an easy day. Byrdie

[lifechange]

Thank you, Thank you, Thank you!!
It makes such a huge difference to know that you all not only have my back, but COMPLETELY understand me. It means the world right now.. thank you for the great advice.. I'm taking it all in with everything I am... and it IS helping..I feel relieved that I don't have to have it all figured out yet. I do think that was also part of the problem.. the pressure of feeling like I should have this down by now. I can concentrate and refocus on all of the positive changes happening in my life.. which allows me to see more clearly the things I need to do to make sure this is a life change. Matt, I liked what you posted about needing to have a real psychic change to make this work.. and the serenity prayer did bring me peace this morning..
Thank you all..

[LilBit]

Lav, reconnecting with an old friend/coworker sounds like fun. You've definitely earned some adult time.

Pav, I'm watching the El Nino with a wary eye. We need the rain in Cali, but Mother Nature likes to dump it all at once. Last year, in the middle of this drought, my street flooded with 3 ft. of water, knocking cars into houses. I have a feeling this winter will be interesting for everyone.

Hypernova, it's great to see you again. How's it going, today? What's been happening with you?

Well said about the deprivation mindset, Byrdie. It's amazing what we hang on to, thinking it's still "good" in some way. My spare closet is testament to that! Just put the polyester zebra print dress down and back away slowly...

Matt, thanks for the good description of lingering emotional moments. I find myself having them too, with a side order of "You just survived a massive, life-threatening cancer ordeal" PTSD thrown in. But before I sound like I think I'm more "special" than others, I must say that everyone -- absolutely everyone -- reading and posting here has survived a life-threatening illness, which is AL addiction. I suppose we can expect some "fallout" as we heal.

Jane, your jeans metaphor was excellent! I can deal with an "adjustable within a range" mindset so much better than a rigid one. Life, after all, isn't constant so our mindset should be able to adjust accordingly.

Dutch, I think it might surprise you how little people actually notice things about us or our appearance and if they do notice, how very little thought they give it. I can't tell you how many times a person has "confessed" things like "I have a horrible case of acne" or "I'm so fat" when I had never even noticed the condition or aspect. Believe me, as you get older, you will care less and less about this.

I'll leave you all with a Thursday Thought.

[Marylou123]

GME Nesters,

Quick fly by with a thought on the word stress - not my original; heard from someone a few days ago. He said another word for stress is anger. At first I thought "No it's not." But the more I think about it, it's true in most cases. It requires digging a little deeper into feelings to get there. If I say, "I'm stressed out about work" my initial thought might be, I have too much on my plate. Going deeper into the feeling, I find I'm angry/upset that I didn't say no, or that I don't have the tools or resources to do the job, or its not part of my job description, or why doesn't so and so have to do it.

Same can apply to not drinking. As in, it stresses me out to think I can't drink. My reality might be that I'm angry I can't drink, or I'm upset I won't ring in the New Year with some bubbly, or it pisses me off that other people can enjoy a glass of cab with a steak, etc.

Sounds so much more acceptable to be stressed (oh, poor me) vs angry (sourpuss).

[Starfish1]

Day one again.

I need help. I want out of alco-hell. It's not fun and it's scary.

I don't have too much to say yet. I have some antabuse and am going to take it every day.

I need accountability.

Thanks.

[jane27]

Starfish!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You just made my day! xoxox

[All done drinking]

Starfish,

This place and the roll call certainly gives one accountability. Sounds like it's a welcome back home for you.

Addy (All Done Drinking...Yes!)

[Byrdlady]

Starfish!!!! I am so happy to see you! Let's get this things started, shall we? Snuggle up right here next to me! Welcome home! xoxoxoxo, B

[Starfish1]

Y'all are making me cry...really!!
Thanks so much...we're going to do it this time.
Love you all!

[lifechange]

Welcome back, Starfish! I was wondering about you the other day.. how and where you were. It's great to see you... :hug:

[available]

Morning nesterss

Quick check in for me.

LC i agree with Byrd dont overthink never drinking again. God at 600+ days i still dont think about never drinking, i just no i wont and i dont want to. i have very few thoughts of al nowadays. i get more annoyed running out of coffee or teabags. i still keep on here though and as everyone says this is our accountability, this is our cyber AA and you guys are my sponsors.

Robert is not doing too well, he will go into kidney failure soon and yesterday it felt like someone had smashed my wall of invincibility down and i just lost it. its too overwhelming and sad, well yesterday it was. he broke down and cried and i think that is what did me. i am not sure about the balloon ride he is not really well enough but if the drs okay it then we are going. There is nothing they can do but keep him out of pain.

Send some nice weather to us for Sunday, it would be much appreciated!

off to the gym and work, thank god it is friday.

Take care and welcome Star,nice to see you back. x

[LilBit]

Ava, thinking of you and Robert. 'Sending you both strength and all the moments of joy that can somehow find their way into times like these. Here's our local Sunday forecast. I'm wishing exactly the same for you.

[LilBit]

Does anybody know why the website posts a thumbnail beneath a posted image? It never used to do that before. (I'm using the Basic Uploader.) Thanks.

[NoSugar]

I think you need to deselect something that is automatically selected: Retrieve ... Or something like that.

I'm so glad to see you, Star :hug:.