Newbies Nest

[Starfish1]

Good Morning, Nesters.

I am so glad to be back! You are all great role models for me and are giving me encouragement that I have not had in a long time.

Ava, that is wonderful that you and your friend got to enjoy that balloon ride together! You are very brave.

Dutch, I am so glad you posted your feelings and so happy to see the replies from the "oldbies". I have ruined many quits at between 5 - 7 months because of that flat feeling. Believe me, it is not worth it. All that does is make it more difficult to believe in yourself the next time you want to quit. And there WILL be a next time you want to quit.

Today is day 3 for me and physically, I am feeling much better, but, like Dutch, I am in a bad place, emotionally. Because of all your replies, I see a bright future for Dutch and for me. We just have to stick with it.

Dutch, all we gotta do is get through THIS day! We can do it. :hug:

[lifechange]

Hello Nesters!!!

Starfish, have I said how happy I am to have you back here? I'm glad to see you checking in so much.. continue to hang tight!! Don't venture far from your safe branch and bird friend.. You know everyone here has your back--:hug:

Marylou, thank you for writing that post! I know that when I first came to MWO, I was overwhelmed and wasn't quite sure if it was ok to just hop in somewhere.. of course, as soon as I worked up my courage, I was welcomed in as if I were a long lost friend. I was very lost! I still feel sometimes as if I don't fit in anywhere.. but I'm thinking that's a common insecurity that "we" (or at least a lot of people who struggle with alcohol abuse) have.. I hope it goes away at some point! I'm glad things are going so well with your marriage now.. loved the nail in the head video!

Ava!!! so happy to hear about the balloon ride with Robert.. sounds like a wonderful time. :hug:

Dutch, good on you! for coming here and working through those thoughts/emotions/cravings. It's always been a huge trigger for me, too, to take a day alone to drink. It seems so crazy, when I'm in my sane space, because a FREE day! To do whatever I want!! Why would I f'*** it all up with drinking? I appreciate SO much, your coming here to work it all out.. and the responses you get, that we all get, end up helping everyone out!

Pav!! That's exactly what the cry was about.. I'm actually looking forward to many more! It was such a release of emotions/stress and a renewed acceptance of my sober life.. like a forfeiture of those "maybe someday" thoughts.. there is NO some day!

Lav, I love reading about your summer time adventures with the kids! Thank goodness you have boys AND girls.. everyone needs a break sometimes! We are also having very hot weather and at the moment I have a huge cat glued to my side! He's so cute, though.. I have to endure..

Byrdie, thanks again for the boredom advice! You, too, Addy! It helps a lot.. and I love the new thread you've started with ABCowboy-- I will add to it soon.

We're off to the beach tomorrow which I'm looking forward to, even though my partner and I aren't getting along at all. My plan (in case things turn really rocky between us) is to concentrate on my girls and making sure it's a nice vacation for us. I will NOT let bad energy get me into a bad mood, I will NOT even think about drinking to escape or to get back at someone.. if worst comes to worst, he can hang out with his son, and we can have separate itineraries..
Anyway, I hope things improve.. I'm trying to be positive and am not letting myself be egged on.. and am forcing myself to hold my tongue. At least not say anything mean or ironic..

Hugs to you all and wishing you a good weekend..

[Starfish1]

LC :hug:

Sending much love and strength to you! I hope you have a wonderful time at the beach.

And, you fit in right here with us! We love you and look forward to your return from vacation.

[Byrdlady]

Good Morning all!
Dutch, at the risk of using another tired "calander saying" the phrase "Fake it til you make it" really worked for me.
Ava, amazing story....and AL was no where in sight. It's the people and places that make wonderful memories, not what's in our glass. Oops, another saying, sorry. Byrdie

[Dutch1988]

Again, thanks everyone, on those flat days I spend a lot of time talking myself into posting on here because I know if I tell everyone on here that I am feeling down and out, even for no reason, it will force me to be accountable for my feelings instead of it just being an excuse to try moderating or something. If I ever did something like try drinking again, I couldn't do it because of feeling flat or down and out.

Speaking of down and out, I woke up today and my back went out while I was doing my morning stretches that I do SPECIFICALLY TO PREVENT MY BACK FROM GOING OUT! Life can be funny sometimes, but at least it happened at home instead of at work, I took every anti-inflammatory supplement I can and did all my tricks, so here's to getting through the day. I don't know why, but I like this feeling better of being upset my back went out, like at least now I have something to feel bad and complain about. Talk about attracting negative Chit into your life. Have a good one all.

[Lizann]

Dutch,feel better. I totally get what you said about having a reason to feel bad, run with it.

[Elvis]

Marylou, your note to lurkers is spot on. There is a clique around here, but it's the easiest clique I've ever seen to infiltrate. I have never seen anyone turned away. All you need to do is participate. The key, especially in the early days, is to stick close, read everything you can, and don't feel silly about posting any little thing that's on your mind. This serves several purposes -- it lets you read and learn from the wisdom of others who walked in your shoes, and lets you be prepared for and better handle to the changes ahead. Also, it helps you connect with others who are at the same stage of quit as you. Newbies Nest is awesome, but there are dozens of other topics on here that are awesome as well, and you might feel more comfortable in one of them, or starting your own, but you never will know if you don't get involved. Whether you've got one post under your belt, or 7000, everyone here is treated equal. We're all here for one purpose.

[Starfish1]

All you need to do is participate. The key, especially in the early days, is to stick close, read everything you can, and don't feel silly about posting any little thing that's on your mind. This serves several purposes -- it lets you read and learn from the wisdom of others who walked in your shoes, and lets you be prepared for and better handle to the changes ahead.

Thanks for this, Elvis.

In the past, I have sometimes felt silly posting any little thing that's on my mind, and I think this has been detrimental to my quits.

I am not making excuses. I just have been around here enough to know how important it is to ask for help and not to feel like you are a bother to anyone.

Today, for instance, I feel I have been pushing myself to get some things accomplished around the house. Also, I haven't been letting myself eat enough.

Pushing myself and starving myself are 2 very bad habits of mine and I know, from reading posts of old time successful folk on here, that I should take it easy on me and put me and my quit first. I will try to do better, because I want to succeed this time.

If my truth be told, these days, i have to force myself to do anything that is not required of me. I feel reclusive and lazy. I go to work every day because I must. I shop for groceries every week, because I must, but other than that, I limit my time outside of the house and really have to force myself to go anywhere or associate with anyone. If i do go out, I do so at times I feel no one will see me or talk to me.

As far as the eating disorder goes..I've always had that.

Sad, really. It's difficult to find a happy medium and still take care of myself.

If I go against my natural instincts (to hide and to starve), I feel stressed, but if I make myself go out and if I eat like a normal person, I feel stressed about the outing and guilty about the eating.

If I push myself to do my work, i feel proud of my accomplishments, but sort of angry that I can't just have a normal attitude about the normal parts of life.

What to do?

Take care of me!

Thanks for listening.

[NoSugar]

Star, please try not to judge yourself. What would you say to me if we were reversed right now? You told me a couple years ago that by not drinking, I was doing just fine and that the rest would sort itself out. And you were right.

I had disordered eating in the last couple years before I quit - by not eating for several hours, that first wine was all the more "rewarding". That has straightened out, too.

As much as you can, do what you want without second-guessing or criticizing yourself. For now, simply not drinking is enough. You are enough. xx

[Starfish1]

Thank you, NS. Okay!

[Dutch1988]

If my truth be told, these days, i have to force myself to do anything that is not required of me. I feel reclusive and lazy. I go to work every day because I must. I shop for groceries every week, because I must, but other than that, I limit my time outside of the house and really have to force myself to go anywhere or associate with anyone. If i do go out, I do so at times I feel no one will see me or talk to me.


Thanks for listening.

Star that is exactly how I have been feeling at work and home for the past 3-4 months. Everyone on here keeps telling me things will get better and I have noticed some definitely positive moods in between the apathy, they have been getting longer too! just yesterday I was ready to hang this whole thing up and even though I jacked up my back I still feel better than last night. Glad you posted how you felt too, sometimes I worry I am the only who uses this place to vent their feelings.

[available]

Morning nesters

Star, dont push yourself to do a damn thing except not drink. I totally get how you feel, i was there. my son said when i drank i looked like a worn out crack whore. i hardly ever ate, the r unning joke was i ate grapes and lots of them. i still have issues with food but i am definitely eating more than i used to and it will work itself out, i am not stressing about my food intake anymore. I figure now that everything will work itself out eventually if i am patient enough and now i dont drink i am learning patience. Rome cannot be built in a day, just like our life cannot return to normal as soon as we stop drinking, as much as we wish it.

LC enjoy that holiday and with you not drinking there are lots of changes going on and i found i had to earn trust again with my family that i would not drink. They found it hard also to see me sober and putting in the effort when every other time i said the words and then failed to carry it through.

Well i am off for yum cha with Robert today. As a very wise woman said to me "you feel empowered" and yes i do. I have the life i want now, i am accountable and i am in the present and i am sober. nothing can take from me what i have now except that glass of al and that is never going to happen if i keep fighting and i will! people thank me for giving so much to Robert but he has given me so much in return, he has helped me grow in these last two years. he has shown me courage and wisdom and acceptance and love when i had none of that. I have thanked him for what he has given me, it has been a journey for both of us.

Take care xx

[Starfish1]

Dear Dutch,

I'm so sorry you have had the blues too! I know it will get better for us. We just need to keep the faith. Like Byrdie said this morning, we have to fake it til we make it.
I made myself go to my church service this evening, even though I really didn't want to. It was nice, but I was still nervous. It will get better, with time.
I also ate a good supper and now am going to reward myself with a cup of herbal tea, a good book and an early bed time.
Hope everyone has a good evening!:hug:

[Starfish1]

Cross Post, Ava! Thank you so much for those words of wisdom. I will be happy to take your advice and stop pushing so hard. I like that "Rome wasn't built in a day"!!!:welldone: That's a good one to remember!
I hope you enjoy your visit with Robert this evening!

[Byrdlady]

Evening, all!
I kept busy on a project for a friend. Cookies!