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    Hi, Nest:

    No Sugar posted this from Melodie Beatty about the "in between" feeling and I just asked her to send it to me again. Maybe it will help you, Dutch, Star and everyone.

    Sometimes, to get from where we are to where we are going, we have to be willing to be in-between.
    One of the hardest parts of recovery is the concept of let*ting go of what is old and familiar, but what we don’t want, and being willing to stand with our hands empty while we wait for God to fill them.

    This may apply to feelings. We may have been full of hurt and anger. In some ways, these feelings may have become comfortably familiar. When we finally face and relinquish our grief, we may feel empty for a time. We are in between pain and the joy of serenity and acceptance.

    Being in-between can apply to relationships. To prepare ourselves for the new, we need to first let go of the old. This can be frightening. We may feel empty and lost for a time. We may feel all alone, wondering what is wrong with us for letting go of the proverbial bird-in-hand, when there is noth*ing in the bush.

    Being in-between can apply to many areas of life and recov*ery. We can be in between jobs, careers, homes, or goals. We can be in between behaviors as we let go of the old and are not certain what we will replace it with. This can apply to behaviors that have protected and served us well all of our life, such as caretaking and controlling.

    We may have many feelings going on when we’re in-between: spurts of grief about what we have let go of or lost, and feelings of anxiety, fear, and apprehension about what’s ahead. These are normal feelings for the in-between place. Accept them. Feel them. Release them.

    Being in-between isn’t fun, but it’s necessary. It will not last forever. It may feel like we’re standing still, but were not. We’re standing at the in-between place. It’s how we get from here to there. It is not the destination.

    We are moving forward, even when we’re in-between.

    Today, I will accept where I am as the ideal place for me to be. If I am in-between, 1 will strive for the faith that this place is not without purpose, that it is moving me toward something good.



    I had a very productive day, but a day spent working in front of my computer. I missed a beauty, but sometimes that's necessary. I will be heading out tomorrow, although the air is all smokey from the fires around here. Boy do I hope it rains this winter!

    Byrdie - those cookies are amazing.

    Happy SOBER Saturday, nest.

    xo
    Pav

    Comment


      Good evening Nesters,

      Byrdie, I love those cookies

      Starfish, I did a lot of that faking it until I made it in the beginning too - it works!!!
      Mostly, we need to give ourselves plenty of time to heal physically & emotionally from the abuse we heaped on ourselves.

      Dutch, watch out for the back, huh?

      LC, enjoy your trip. It may just turn out to be perfect

      Hello to everyone & sending wishes for a safe & peaceful night in the nest for all!

      Lav
      AF since 03/26/09
      NF since 05/19/09
      Success comes one day at a time :thumbs:

      Comment


        Howdy nestors, a quiet day for Bubba, Hank, and myself today, poured rain all day which we badly needed! It should help with the extremely dry conditions and also help the crops cure. Speaking of which, the boss/neighbour and I had a chance to chat Friday while I loaded Windows 10 on his laptop for him and it looks like I'll be sitting in a combine seat in 7 - 10 days! Yippee! Back to farming! As I was reading today, the thoughts of the harvest crew and a cold one with supper crossed my mind. Not that I have any desire for a cold one, more like counting myself lucky that I don't need one! Thinking how far I've come from where I was, and wished everyone else could be as fortunate as me. I thought about those who are still drinking, or a least still struggling and wondered if they still wake up after a night of drinking and felt that awful feeling of shame and embarrassment over something you said or did? Did you go out and do it again? Why? Do you know why you drink? Is it for fun, to give you confidence, to relieve stress, forget about problems or self medicate your mental illness? These are all important questions in understanding your relationship with alcohol and whether or not it’s a healthy one.

        Mine wasn’t. The tires had fallen off and I was skidding along on the rims for years. Until I knew that I had to quit. And quit I did, I hope and pray to have the strength and courage to never drink again. That’s because every area of my life has greatly improved; my relationship with Bubba and my kids is better than I could have imagined, my nights are full of quality sleep, my overall health has improved along with my appearance, and my appetite for wholesome foods is back. I am slowly winning back the respect I lost from family and friends – after the stupid and shameful things I did. I no longer feel anxious about going to work, I have more confidence, I have saved around $400 a month that I no longer donate to the liquor store, and I'm a much happier person.

        Why would I risk all of this to go back? A period of abstinence helps you take control of your life and really assess the role alcohol plays in it. It’s not easy – but nothing worthwhile is. But believe me, when you achieve your goal it’s incredibly gratifying – and you feel like you can tackle anything. The question lots of people ask me is, how do I not drink when everyone else around me is? I just tell them, because I don't have to, nor do I want to. I quit drinking to have a better life. I just keep reminding myself how much better my life is without any alcohol in it. But most of all, I recognise this is something I'm doing for myself and I don’t need to answer to anyone.
        Last edited by abcowboy; August 15, 2015, 10:24 PM.
        Quitting and staying quit isn't easy, its learning a whole new way of thinking. It's accepting a new way of life, and not just accepting it, embracing it...
        Worry about tomorrow, tomorrow. Just get through today. Tomorrow will look after itself when it becomes today, because today is all we have to think about.
        Friendship is not about how many friends you have or who you've known the longest. It's about who walked into your life, said "I'm here for you", and proved it.

        Comment


          Good Sunday morning Nesters

          Is everyone sleeping in? Ha ha!!!

          Cowboy, I agree that we can do anything now that we've quit. Staying quit is not nearly as hard as I feared!!
          Good luck with your farming job - nice

          Wishing everyone a great AF day!

          Lav
          AF since 03/26/09
          NF since 05/19/09
          Success comes one day at a time :thumbs:

          Comment


            Good Morning From Tejas

            Enjoying a couple of days off, after a long but productive week of training. The class I took was not mandatory in a sense, yet is mandatory if I want to participate in the promotional process. I believe NS said it,
            Would I have done it had I still been out drinking. I have no doubt my addiction held me back in the ambition department. Another reason I am so grateful for my sobriety. I'm learning to learn from my past but not let it take another day from me. This hasn't come overnight, yet muscle memory is being strengthened.
            Which leads me too some thoughts about what Starfish is dealing with. I too had multiple attempts at this, and that first part of our quit can be a bitch. This time around when feeling down and out I really focused on gratitude, more so at my lowest moments. Not easy, but changing our whole physiological thought process is so important. As soon as I get in a funk or start feeling like shit, I have began to think of the good things in my life. This is becoming muscle memory for me, my negative thoughts are becoming subconsciously squashed with gratitude. Even if I'm feeling sick physically, Alcoholism effects both mind and body.

            Hope everyone has a great day!

            Whatever you do Stay Hard FFS!
            AF 08~05~2014


            There is a 100% chance I can't do this by myself! ~ Me

            Comment


              Good post Matt. It's kind of like abcowboy was sharing with the book on CBT he was recommending (the whole retrain your brain concept). I myself have neglected going to the gratitude thread and I think that's a good suggestion as well. I can relate to Starfish as I've had struggles too this first 30 days. Sometimes a serotonin rush of how I really like myself better as a person being able to jump out of bed, feel motivated, be fully present and aware for family and friends, lots of good stuff. And then there are the times (going out to dinner for example, being on vacay (last day) where this nondrinking stuff can feel (sick I know) like missing out. I really want to get to that place where it doesn't matter anymore and I know I'll get there, it just takes some time.

              Good morning all! Here's to a super day. Traveling home. Heard it was 113 yesterday so definitely not looking forward to that! We come and go all summer to escape that heat. Too bad this week is up :-(

              Addy :love:
              "Control your destiny or somebody else will" ~Jack Welsh~

              God didn't give you the strength to get back on your feet, so that you can run back to the same thing that knocked you down.

              But that was yesterday, and I was a different person then. ~ Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland

              Comment


                Quickie check in. Wishing everyone an easy day. Byrdie
                All you gotta do, is get thru this day. AF 1/20/2011
                Tool Box
                Newbie's Nest

                Comment


                  Originally posted by Byrdlady View Post
                  Evening, all!
                  I kept busy on a project for a friend. Cookies!
                  Byrdie, What are they? xoxoxo
                  AF since January 7, 2014 *Never, never, never give up. ~ Winston Churchill*

                  Comment


                    Originally posted by Pavati View Post
                    Hi, Nest:



                    [I]Sometimes, to get from where we are to where we are going, we have to be willing to be in-between.
                    One of the hardest parts of recovery is the concept of let*ting go of what is old and familiar, but what we don’t want, and being willing to stand with our hands empty while we wait for God to fill them.
                    Oh my gosh Pav/NS!

                    This is EXACTLY the way I have been feeling. In fact, over the past week,I have been picturing myself with empty hands. Total surrender. For once.

                    What you just posted has really spoken to me! I will read this piece over and over again. I think I will even print it out. Is it in the toolbox?

                    Thanks so much!

                    BTW: I have just signed on this morning, because I have been busy all day, and this is the first thing I have read, so will read up and see what else is going on.

                    I'm doing okay today.
                    :heartbeat:

                    Star:star:

                    08-13-15

                    I am only one drink away from never being sober again.

                    Comment


                      Great posts, Cowboy and Matt! Thanks! I think two of the most important things we can try to focus on are: the attitude of gratitude (we used to call it lavatitude, thanks to Lav) and how much better we will feel, look and act once we have a bit of sobriety under our belts. I appreciate your posts and your encouragement.

                      ADDY! Congrats on your 30 days!

                      Hi Jane, Lav, and Byrdie.

                      Cookies ARE beautiful, Byrdie...and delicious!

                      (Nestling next to Byrdie has its benefits!):sohappy:
                      :heartbeat:

                      Star:star:

                      08-13-15

                      I am only one drink away from never being sober again.

                      Comment


                        Jane, here in NC, we have a rivalry between two state colleges, NC State and University of NC. I went to the latter, we are the Carolina Tar Heels. NC is also known as the Tar Heel State. Light blue is the school color. So the cookies shaped like a foot are tarheels and the other one is shaped like our fine state.
                        My friend changed her request from 3 or 4 dozen cookies to 7 dozen. So thats all Ive done today. This may cure me of this hobby!
                        Byrdie
                        All you gotta do, is get thru this day. AF 1/20/2011
                        Tool Box
                        Newbie's Nest

                        Comment


                          I could see the feet but couldn't figure out the other ones,now I see it haha,cute
                          I have too much shit to do today and tomorrow to drink:sohappy:

                          I'm taking care of the "tomorrow me":thumbsup:
                          Drinkin won't help a damn thing! Will only make me sick for DAYS and that ugly, spacey dumb feeling-no thanks!

                          Comment


                            Hi Pauly!

                            Day 4 done and dusted.

                            Lots of work done around the house and lots of cooking (and eating!)

                            Hope everyone has a safe night in the nest. :hug:
                            :heartbeat:

                            Star:star:

                            08-13-15

                            I am only one drink away from never being sober again.

                            Comment


                              Day 4 is great Star,keep it up doing cooking and cleaning here too,avoiding the heat as its supposed to hit 110 today,we shall see
                              I have too much shit to do today and tomorrow to drink:sohappy:

                              I'm taking care of the "tomorrow me":thumbsup:
                              Drinkin won't help a damn thing! Will only make me sick for DAYS and that ugly, spacey dumb feeling-no thanks!

                              Comment


                                Good evening Netsers,

                                It was hot here today as well & supposed to stay that way thru to next Sunday, ugh.
                                I did get out to do some shopping though, great argains atthe outlet stores

                                Starfish, great on your 4 AF days! Just keep moving forward, you'll have no regrets!

                                Matt, congrats on finishing your training in the blistering heat!

                                Byrdie, can you do 12 dozen cookies for me tomorrow? HA HA HA (just kidding). It may be time for a new hoby after all that

                                Greetings to all & sending wishes for a safe & comfy night in the nest!

                                Lav
                                AF since 03/26/09
                                NF since 05/19/09
                                Success comes one day at a time :thumbs:

                                Comment

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