Newbies Nest

[Londoner]

Are there any other avenues to open up about our AL problems other than AA?

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I do not want to go down a 'God' route.

[Matt M.]

Byrd you know I love you, but that cookie looks like an injured pop tart....You've Def come a long way. ....

[Starfish1]

Good Morning, Friends :hug:
Ava, those pics are beautiful, and y'all look so happy, but I got butterflies in my tummy and sweaty palms just looking at y'all way up there like that. My goodness!! I think I do best, just admiring the balloon glows from the ground, thank you very much! You certainly are a special friend!
Dutch, you are sounding much better than you have been lately. Keep up the great work.
Thanks to everyone for all of this "gratitude list" talk. I am keeping those thoughts "front and center" these days and it is very helpful. I still have not meditated or drawn any pictures yet, but as Ava reminded me, "Rome wasn't built in a day!" (Thanks Ava!)
Pauly, thanks for reminding us that this is a PROCESSS!!! You are so right about that!
Byrdie, are you sure it was LAST February when you decorated the "birds in a forest cookies"....kinda looks like you'd been in the sauce, girly :egad:
Hey Londoner, Great to see you. I'm not sure I understand what you mean about the "other avenues"...there are lots of links to websites and tons of webcasts and other materials, right here on MWO....Did you mean an avenue where you talk person to person?:newhere:
Love to all! Day 7 here!

[Eloise]

Here was my first cookie decorating try back in February....birds in a forest, if you squint hard and rub your tummy, you can see the two birds.....

OMG I LOVE THIS!! HYSTERICAL, thanks for sharing Brydie, you are one in million.

[Eloise]

oh, and I rode my bike.
I am pretty sure anyone that reads this is thinking 'whooptie do.'
But, I am rather pleased with myself.

And, I am very grateful to have all that I do and to have found my husband and Mozart.

[Starfish1]

Eloise

:applouse::applouse::applouse:

WAY to GO!!!!

[Samstone]

OMG I LOVE THIS!! HYSTERICAL, thanks for sharing Brydie, you are one in million.

Picasso pastry!!

[Elvis]

Dutch, I was doing a little digging to see if I could find stories similar to yours, where after a period of sobriety, the person cashed it in. I found a moving account from our very own Elvis.

Thanks Byrdy for the repost and the important reminder. I remember that day well, and it got worse before it got better. I didn't know at the time, but I do now, thanks to people on this forum who are much smarter than me, that relapse starts before the first sip, and I was a victim of that. What I mean is there are warning signs that you are going to relapse. Things like:
- you start letting your guard down and relaxing behaviors that are helping you quit, like saying "I don't need to read the forum today" or whatever it is that's working for you. I need continual reminders.
- you start romanticizing alcohol. Yeah, those commercials show well tanned people relaxing by the beach sipping on their fancy red drinks, but the reality is I would be on my knees in the bedroom with my head in the closet taking gulps of vodka straight from the bottle as fast as I could hoping I'm not raising suspicion why I'm gone so long.
- you start thinking "just one won't hurt" or "I wasn't that bad". What you should be asking is what's changed since the last time I had "just one" that makes me think I can handle "just one" this time? Last time I had "just one" it led to a month long bender, and lots of shame and disgrace and explaining to do. You know that saying that you pick up where you left off, well it might not happen immediately but by personal experience, only a few days or weeks later, you will quickly be back in the same place that you were. That's scary, and that keeps me coming back here daily to reaffirm my sobriety.

That's not all the warning signs of course, I'm sure there's a more comprehensive list and discussion somewhere on this forum.

[Eloise]

Just to add to this Elvis I want to say that the longer I am sober the more I realize that I need to actively stay connected to this quit.
Tonight I was at the tennis club and after the tournament the wine and beer was flowing. I was sitting there thinking, how is it not obvious how addictive alcohol is? People just keep drinking and drinking, I am talking drinking with urgency. These guys were just playing tennis, how can you crave beer after that?
I think I am just so grateful to have alcohol out of my system for long enough to know it does me no favours. If I were to drink now there is no doubt I would end up drinking more and more until I needed to quit AGAIN. I don't want to quit again.
And yes, these are the reminders I keep in the forefront of my mind. I do not want to quit again. This was way too hard to see if I can manage it again.
Just going to be grateful I am doing it and keep moving forward.

[NoSugar]

, but the reality is I would be on my knees in the bedroom with my head in the closet taking gulps of vodka straight from the bottle as fast as I could hoping I'm not raising suspicion why I'm gone so long.

This is the kind of tough stuff I need to read so that I can remember. Thank you, Elvis.
My visual is opening the spigot of a cheap box of wine directly into my mouth in a dark corner of the kitchen, with the water running to mask the sound of opening and closing the appliance garage, where the box was kept.

[LilBit]

Are there any other avenues to open up about our AL problems other than AA?

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I do not want to go down a 'God' route.

Londoner, I never cared for AA either, which is the reason why I wound up here. All the AA "admitting we're powerless" and rigidity just wasn't a good fit for me, although I respect that it works for others. But given the enormous odds against successfully staying sober, I'll take all the help I can get, whether it's from a Higher Power, my Aunt Betty or my cat who knocks champagne glasses off the table. I admire your pluck for doing it "on your own." The support on these forums is an enormous and vital help but IMHO, even that can only take you so far.

Good for you, Dutch on the meditation. I hope your back feels better.

Byrdie, the birds did what to that cookie?

[paulywogg]

Haha,Byrdie's cookie! I needed that laugh today and as Matt said you have come a looong way baby! Elvis,excellent post,one of the things that I was thinking about is how the brain changes when we have stints of sobriety, a member Kuya used to talk about how the pleasure receptors change over time and multiply so when you drink again it takes more to get to the pleasure we're seeking, I can't explain it as good as she did,I always thought if you dry out then it would only take a few to get hammered, I learned this was way wrong by experience Star,you're doing great hello to all

[Starfish1]

Thanks, Pauly! So are you!
Hope everyone has a great evening!

[Lavande]

Good evening Nesters,

Had a busy day, even watched my grandsons for nearly 6 hours

Byrdie, your first cookie was an attempt at abstract art? LOL
You have absolutely mastered your craft in such a short period of time, good for you :welldone:

Londoner, if you are not comfortable with AA is there anyway you can see a private counselor for help?
Definitely check in here every day & read all you can possibly read. Great on your 2 days AF!

Wishing everyone a safe & comfy night in the nest!

Lav

[All done drinking]

Are there any other avenues to open up about our AL problems other than AA?

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I do not want to go down a 'God' route.

Londoner,
A lot of folks who don't want to go the spiritual route choose SMART Recovery. They offer meetings worldwide and have over sixteen online weekly meetings. They offer a scientific foundation instead of a spiritual one. It differs from AA in the fact that addictive behavior is viewed as a "maladaptive habit" rather than a disease and the term "alcoholic" is not used. They offer a 4-Point Program that includes

Point 1. Enhancing and Maintaining Motivation to Abstain
Point 2. Coping with Urges,
Point 3: Problem Solving (managing thoughts, feelings and behaviors,
Point 4: Lifetyle Balance (balancing momentary and enduring satisfaction. Go here for more info: https://www.completeharmonyrehab.com...recovery-rehab.

There is also the Secular Organization for Sobreity, also known as Save Our Selves which is designed to be an alternativve to those paths depending upon supernatural or religious beliefs. This program was started by a man who attended AA and struggled with its approach to recovery. He wrote an article entitled "Sobriety without Superstition" which was about maintaining sobriety separate from spiritual or religious beliefs. It became so popular that it evolved into SOS meetings. They have meetings in every state and in 21 countries. They believe moderate drinking is impossible for alcoholics and view sobriety as a first priority. Go here for more info: http://www.centerforinquiry.net/sos. I know there are other online support groups but I find this one great and you already have a home here. But, if you want to meet people who are choosing recovery without a spiritual path, maybe one of these two organizations can help.

Addy (All Done Drinking...Yes!) :love: