Newbies Nest

[All done drinking]

Keep posting those drink free days Londoner. I'll be looking for day 6, 7...to infinity on the roll call.

Addy

[LavenderBlue]

Hiya Nest. Cravings are funny things, and I've been getting them more often for cigarettes than AL for some time. It's probably because I'm around cigs more often than I'm around AL? In any case, I was at the gas station picking up a treat after work and the lady in front of my was buying my old brand. Out of nowhere, my eyes latched on and I thought how easy it would be to grab a pack while I was there. In the moment, it sounded so good, and like something I totally deserved and could handle. We all know that isn't true, you don't even have to be an alcoholic to get readdicted to smoking! So, I ignored my brain as best I could and made myself finish the transaction without asking. And of course, no matter how strong it was in the moment, I was past it by the time I got home. Just another reminder that no matter what it is, cravings can always hit BUT they don't last forever.

Eloise, I remember someone mentioning a while back that one idea is to bring a case of sparkling water as a gift for the party. Then it's not just bringing your own, as much as doing what plenty of people do and bringing something for the group, if that would be more comfortable? I guess the only thing with that is maybe keeping some as backup for yourself in case it turns out more people want some!

Quit wining, it is definitely much easier when you don't have any in the house. Being hungry can also be a big trigger, so having a plan in place might help. "When I crave at dinner I will [something] instead." The thing with cravings is they only last so long, even though it might not feel that way. So the more you can practice getting through them, the more tools you build up! I enjoy reading while I eat, so at times I would read here or a book about quitting on my Kindle.

Londoner, good for you! It really will get better in time, I'm so glad you're in here and trying.

Kensho, forgive me if I sound presumptuous, but it sounds like you're still holding on to AL as a treat, or something good? For me at least, I had to really get over that idea because otherwise it felt like denying myself something awesome, instead of breaking a habit that was killing me. I'm not saying that change in thinking is easy or comes overnight, but it might help you to figure out how you can start changing your perspective? It seems like that's been your pitfall before, feeling like drinking is something you deserve or should have, then you get annoyed and frustrated (as anyone would), and it becomes easier to start back up. Like I said up there, even my smoking can sound super awesome and like a treat to my apparently still addicted brain, even though objectively they're unhealthy, smell, and don't actually taste good unless you're already hooked. You definitely seem happier with yourself and with life when you're not drinking, I hope you can find the right path to make that happen, for your own sake!

Good thoughts out to everyone out in the Nest! This morning, I woke up and wrote over a thousand words before I'd even finished my coffee - that's something I never EVER could have done while I was drinking nightly!

[KENSHO]

I'm finding myself saying, "Come on, it's a special occasion...". But I'm hopeful that if I just DELAY that feeling, the food and non-al stuff will satiate.

[Eloise]

Made it guys, pleasant evening & very happy to be sober! Getting the hang of this!

[Starfish1]

Great going, El!!!

Kensho, can you eat before you go and be too full to drink?

[Lavande]

Good evening Nesters,

I ended up having an unplanned but happy afternoon & evening with my granddaughter so her parents could go out by themselves for a change! Grateful to be free & ready for anything that suddenly pops up. I wouldn't want to miss a minute due to drinking. No addiction is worth missing these precious moments

If you're just starting out or just starting again please think about these things. Future events that you can't even imagine right now will be so much better without a monkey on your back!

Great job today Eloise & Londoner!
Wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[abcowboy]

Howdy Ho everyone! And a big welcome to QW (quit wining)! When I first read your name I chuckled a bit as it does indeed make us think two-fold. The wine and the whine in recovery. I think most of us do a lot of whining in the early days of recovery when what we should really be doing is practicing some gratitude and keeping our recovery as simple and easy as we can. I think a lot of the time we make recovery more complicated than it needs to be. As alcoholics, we're accustomed to instant gratification from our drinking. We aren't used to the concept of "time takes time." We want to find the magic pill, or the secret incantation that will magically turn us into sober people without doing all the work. So we work harder at finding the "secret to sobriety" than we do with the everyday tools that will ultimately be what keeps us sober.

The ultimate goal of recovery is to develop the capacity to be happy while being sober. Making it too much of a job can obscure not only the progress we're making, but take away a lot of the fun we get from looking at the world without our booze-colored glasses. While we don't want to slack off on our work, getting sober is only a full-time job in the sense that we need to try to “practice these principles in all our affairs”. If we make a mistake, we learn from it and move on. What we really need to learn is to keep it simple, relax, and enjoy our new AF life!

[Pavati]

Hi, All:

Quit Wining (great name!) - I heard you say you HOPE that you won't drink. What I have learned from my own experience and I think several here will attest to, it takes WORK not to drink. There is plenty of information here and elsewhere about what actions to take to help yourself not drink. One of the first is to keep alcohol out of the house if having it around is too tempting. Check out the toolbox or read some threads and make a plan - what specific actions will you take to keep yourself from drinking? Hoping won't do it. And I mean that in the most supportive way - believe me, I spent a lot of time hoping.

El, I figure I used to take a bottle of wine to an occasion. Now I take sparkling water. I find if I am not careful, others drink it all before I get enough. It turns out a lot of people like to have alternatives to alcohol. Go figure...

Lovely dinner tonight with new friends. I like meeting new people, and we had a great time. Delicious dinner, laughter, and I am booze free. What a relief.

Happy SOBER Saturday!
Pav

[jane27]

Hi, All:

Quit Wining (great name!) - I heard you say you HOPE that you won't drink. What I have learned from my own experience and I think several here will attest to, it takes WORK not to drink. There is plenty of information here and elsewhere about what actions to take to help yourself not drink. One of the first is to keep alcohol out of the house if having it around is too tempting. Check out the toolbox or read some threads and make a plan - what specific actions will you take to keep yourself from drinking? Hoping won't do it. And I mean that in the most supportive way - believe me, I spent a lot of time hoping.

Pav, You're so right- it's WORK, and it's very similar to setting fitness goals - you don't see big changes overnight, and the only way you will is by being disciplined and committed over time. It requires conviction & determination to keep working at something you wont get immediate gratification from.

Money, power, friends in high places, great looks, family legacy - all of these things make it easier to get things., but there is only one way to get sobriety and that is via hard work & mental toughness. It really is something to be proud of. Thank you for making me think of that.

Wishing everyone a good MAE, & nice rest of the weekend. Xo

[Eloise]

Good morning guys!
I woke up this morning thinking 'well, that went pretty well last night!'
No real awkward moments, just the first no thank you. This is a very polite family. I also realize that a year ago I would not have gone to their party.
There was a quick moment where I thought they were pouring shots (it was gaspacho soup) and I thought 'how will I get out of this one?' Thoughts quickly moved to ' dump it out.'
But, it was soup. No need to panic. I do think after year two has passed I will have passed more of these social hurdles and not drinking will become less and less of an issue for me in my mind.
I said to my husband on the way home ' i am so glad I am not drinking! tomorrow I will go to Mozart fresh & paint in the afternoon.' What a blessing!
He had two beers and that was enough.

[Eloise]

Great going, El!!!

Kensho, can you eat before you go and be too full to drink?

It was fine Starfish, I was not even tempted to drink it was more the social aspect of being the non-drinking outcast I was worried about. Needlessly, as it turns out.
I brought homemade peanutbutter cookies for the kids, big hit! Off to Mozart this morning.

[Dutch1988]

Hurray for Saturday!

Lil I think I will ride this one out, I would m much prefer realizing how great life is without any near death scares! Let's hope it doesn't come to that haha

El I will check out that podcast. I could definitely use a laugh at the situation.

I have been feeling much better today, after my coffee kicked in at work the hours flew by, haven't felt bad all day. That's the only thing I changed about my day, so I am definitely going to have some coffee tomorrow. Who knows, maybe cutting out coffee was what caused all this melancholy. This is the way I expected to feel not drinking, so I am much happier and hope that the mood sticks around. I am going to research more into paws and see if people have methods/supplements/things they do to make the mood swings less intense. The only other thing I can figure is I am bipolar like my twin brother and may need to just go talk to a doctor to figure it out. I hate to jump to that conclusion this early into my quit, I would much rather it be something I need to get used to. Going to hangout with the family tomorrow, and then it's back to the grind on Monday, finally getting back into grappling which is always exciting. Have a good night all, it's so nice to not feel like crap XD

[Lavande]

Good morning Nesters, happy Sunday to all

Looks like a decent (not too hot) day shaping up so I will be outside catching up with gardens & chickens.
Grateful to be free & clear to do what I really want to do - yay!

Have a wonderful AF day one & all!

Lav

[Samstone]

Howdy Ho everyone! And a big welcome to QW (quit wining)! When I first read your name I chuckled a bit as it does indeed make us think two-fold. The wine and the whine in recovery. I think most of us do a lot of whining in the early days of recovery when what we should really be doing is practicing some gratitude and keeping our recovery as simple and easy as we can. I think a lot of the time we make recovery more complicated than it needs to be. As alcoholics, we're accustomed to instant gratification from our drinking. We aren't used to the concept of "time takes time." We want to find the magic pill, or the secret incantation that will magically turn us into sober people without doing all the work. So we work harder at finding the "secret to sobriety" than we do with the everyday tools that will ultimately be what keeps us sober.

The ultimate goal of recovery is to develop the capacity to be happy while being sober. Making it too much of a job can obscure not only the progress we're making, but take away a lot of the fun we get from looking at the world without our booze-colored glasses. While we don't want to slack off on our work, getting sober is only a full-time job in the sense that we need to try to “practice these principles in all our affairs”. If we make a mistake, we learn from it and move on. What we really need to learn is to keep it simple, relax, and enjoy our new AF life!

"the ultimate goal"..... you nailed it!!

[Byrdlady]

Star, you are so right, the friend that I made the cookies for is a nurse, married to a doctor and the son is a doctor! I dont have the kahonees to ask her for more money, :egad:. Live and learn.

ABcowboy, you nailed it with that post. We can string this out as long as we want to (and it IS our choice). We typically make it harder than it needs to be. Quitting is inevitable and the sooner we do it, the better we'll be. The goal for all of us is to NOT WANT AL and that only comes with time away from it. We can use smoke and mirrors and any other trick we alkies pull out to prolong it, but the bottom line is that we must stop drinking. The sooner that happens the sooner you get the prize!!
Thank you for the beautiful note for my anniversary! It was a special day....I am so grateful for this marriage as it was OVER 4.5 years ago because of AL.


Got my picture sorting DONE!
Its a beautiful day and I plan to go out and enjoy it! AF!!! Hugs to all, Byrdie