Newbies Nest

[Quit wining]

Hi fellow nesters!

Day 5 went pretty well. Starting to come out of the fog and feeling better than I have in a long time.

Wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

[Pavati]

Hi, Everyone:

Whoot, MaryLou! Good luck getting that job. I hear you about the confidence. I never even realized that mine was compromised by drinking until I stopped - lo and behold, much confidence gained.

Way to go QW! You are sounding strong. Good on you to realize there'll be struggles ahead - not so you have to worry, but so you'll be prepared.

The start of school is always a trying time at my house - one kid struggles with organization and homework time is a veritable pain in the a$$. I don't like him, I don't like me, I don't like my husband, I don't like the school system - frustrating times. But SO MUCH EASIER now that I am not drinking. I can take deep breaths instead of flying off the handle, and somehow we usually manage to get through it all eventually. Much better than when I was drinking through it. I guess I'm grateful for that!

Good night, nest.

Pav

[Byrdlady]

Wow, it really was a quiet night in the nest!
Pav, I thought AL GAVE me confidence! It wasn't until I had been quit for a while that I realized (as your avatar indicates) that it was down there all along. I didn't have to hide behind AL in order to interact with others. Everything I thought AL GAVE me was FALSE (go figure). Why I hung on to it with a death grip is now a concept that makes me shake my head. I am so glad I let it go. AND why I will not pick it back up! It was HARD and it took a LONG TIME to accomplish, but the rewards are so worth it. Otherwise, no one would have the incentive to keep at it. It doesn't always stay hard, mercifully. Time and distance go a long way. All I had to do was KEEP AT IT!

Friday here. A time to fluff up your PLAN for the weekend! It's just another day of the week, not a ticket to BoozeVille! I used to dread the weekends when I first quit. What would I do to occupy myself and try NOT to think of AL? Now I can barely fit everything in, what a difference it makes to be doing productive, tangible things instead of zoning out for hours doing nothing but being wasted. :egad:

While I've got the floor and find myself in a reflective mood, I was thinking about when Hurricane Katrina hit 10 years ago. The aftermath of that really stuck with me....to the point I just couldn't get out from under the black cloud I was under. It was then I asked my dr for an antidepressant and he freely gave it. That was the beginning of a downward spiral. That's where the title of my never-written book came from: "Numb and Numb-ER". I didn't realize it at the time, but the AD's seemed to interfere with my good buzz, so my tolerance was going up. By the time another 5 years rolled around I had increased the dose of AD, and was about to ask for the booster drug, Abilify, because I didn't think it was working. I was virtually a zombie....the lows weren't low, but the highs weren't high, either. I just WAS. So it was right around 5 years ago when the wheels started coming off. My bloodwork was coming back with funky liver readings, my ferritin (iron) levels were thru the roof and I was having blood removed to try and stabilize them (too much iron is like heavy metal poisoning). What an awful time that was. In retrospect, with a little more time, I would have recovered from the Katrina thing, I thought the AD's were relatively harmless, after all, everyone was taking them! It was a perfect storm in many ways. So looking back at 10 years ago (bad), then 5 years ago (ugly), and today (good!).....there is just no comparison. But I'll tell you one thing, I sure wish I had those 10 years back.

Thanks for letting me ramble about that.
I hope everyone has a GREAT DAY!!!! Byrdie

[LilBit]

Ah, school days, Pav. My favorite part was the "scavenger hunt" list the school provided, which sent us all scurrying to get the last 11-3/8" two-pocket folder in purple paisley and the industrial-size vat of Uncle Amos Ultra-sparkle Glitter Glue. With blisters on my heels, store shelves picked clean apparently by a rampant flock of carrion and the "Target is closing in 5 minutes" announcement threatening, I once suggested that traditional white 3 x 5 index cards would do just fine in place of the sold-out neon orange index cards. This absurd suggestion was met with wails of utter despair from my child who was certain he would become a social pariah and lose any hope of attending a good college. Mercifully, we all lived through it. I wish you continued patience and fortitude!

[LilBit]

Brilliant post, Byrdie. I never knew you were dealing with AD meds, too. I've never taken them, but have seen their effects in people close to me, and it makes it even more amazing and wonderful that you've completely rebounded and transformed your life. YAY for you! That's huge.

Agreed on the fun it is to actually have full weekend plans. I'm lunching with the girls at a Peruvian restaurant, skating early morning, taking in an art exhibit at a museum I've never visited and prepping for a Labor Day camping/kayaking trip next week. Six months ago, I'd have stopped by BevMo on Friday and then _________. The blank represents "nothing" although it might have been filled with "fun" things like AL-induced spats, watching half of a movie because that's all I could get through, thinking I could solve the world's problems for 30 minutes and telling everyone so in marble-mouthed phone conversations, nearly burning the house down with a forgotten frozen pizza in the oven, and passing out in a pillow-spot of my own drool. Good times, eh?

[Starfish1]

QUOTE=Byrdlady;1630077] Everything I thought AL GAVE me was FALSE (go figure). Byrdie[/QUOTE]

:bing: I may need to put that in my signature line....Thanks, Byrdie!

Gosh, the nest is SO quiet these days. I guess we are all just plugging along. At least we are going in the right direction.

QW :hug: You are doing GREAT!

Where's Dutch?

LC, are you back from the seashore yet?

We need some conversation in here, otherwise, I’ll have to keep talking...:blahblah:

I was quiet last night because I was sort of in a strange mood for the first time since I quit drinking. I wasn't really craving, just tired of the same ol', same ol'....you know, the routine of that thing called life that non-alcoholics cope with every day?.. It's challenging, tiresome, worrisome and downright boring sometimes. Right? I felt like it would have been more bearable if I had a little buzz going on....Well, I thought that little notion thru right til the end and it wasn't one bit more bearable. In fact, it was awful.

I perused the site, but not much activity going on. So. I DECIDED to fake it til I make it. I finished my chores, like a good little person, ate my supper, walked my sweet (bad) doggies, drank my sleepy time tea and went to bed. Boy am I glad I didn't drink. Not worth it guys.

Byrdie, funny you should mention Hurricane Katrina. In these parts, we've had memorials going on all week about it. I live in one of the states that were very hard hit by that storm and in fact, I grew up along the Gulf Coast. Most of my family lived there when the storm hit. Thank God I didn't lose any family members or close friends, but I did have some loss and a lot of grief over that storm. I, like you, have been contemplating all the changes that have transpired in my life over the past ten years….I have also considered my drinking habits over the last decade.
I calculate that I have been sober probably just a little less than 5 of those years, thanks to a wonderful 3 year stint of sobriety. The sober stretches were, by far, the best parts of that time, I must say. Why, oh why did I waste those other years? What a loss of time that I will never get back. I look at the pictures of the devastation Katrina caused and I look at the pictures of the same area today and I see the progress that has been made to restore the Gulf Coast. That progress didn’t just happen. It took a vision, courage, commitment and hard work. Those are the things it takes for me to be remain sober. My life can continue to be ravaged by life’s storms, or I can work to re-shape it into a strong, resilient life, capable of weathering the storms. When you look at it that way, it seems pretty easy to make the choice- devastation? or resilience?
I think I’ll choose resilience! Time marches on folks, it's what we do with it that counts!

[Starfish1]

Lil bit :rotlf::rotlf::rotlf: Yer funny!!!

[NoSugar]

Great metaphor, Star!

I perused the site, but not much activity going on

I used to randomly pick on old page in the nest and start reading when I needed the support and no one seemed to be around. And, not to minimize each of our experiences, but it truly is a case of new characters, same old story.

It was very inspiring to come across the "early days" posts of currently solidly sober friends and realize that they once felt just as I was feeling. When you're new to this and read the posts of people with some AF time behind them, it's hard to believe they ever struggled in the same way. But they did!

The other thing that I found so helpful was reading the posts of people who clearly and desperately wanted to quit, posted for awhile, and then disappeared. I tried to imagine that they had quit and we're off living great AF lives but knew in my heart that the odds of that were really poor. I knew I didn't want to be in that very large group.

With a U.S. holiday coming, things might be slow around here for awhile so just plunge into some MWO history! (But feel free to skip the chapters with my early posts !!!)

[Matt M.]

Wow, it really was a quiet night in the nest!
Pav, I thought AL GAVE me confidence! It wasn't until I had been quit for a while that I realized (as your avatar indicates) that it was down there all along. I didn't have to hide behind AL in order to interact with others. Everything I thought AL GAVE me was FALSE (go figure). Why I hung on to it with a death grip is now a concept that makes me shake my head. I am so glad I let it go. AND why I will not pick it back up! It was HARD and it took a LONG TIME to accomplish, but the rewards are so worth it. Otherwise, no one would have the incentive to keep at it. It doesn't always stay hard, mercifully. Time and distance go a long way. All I had to do was KEEP AT IT!



Thanks for letting me ramble about that.
I hope everyone has a GREAT DAY!!!! Byrdie

Couldn't help but notice...
Sorry As you were. .....

[KENSHO]

Chiming in from my phone. Driving to the mountains for some R&R. Not a very pleasant morning - stressful. And my daughter has woken us up for the last 6 nights for whatever reason at 2-3 am. Mix that with feeling a little car sick, and it's like the nauseous morning after the shit sleep after drinking. But I'm not drinking. Happy about that. Been thinking a lot about everyone's posts and re-reading. I will be here a lot this weekend while our friends and my husband drink. Thank goodness I have the kids to focus on. And hopefully I will get some sleep!

Will write more later. I can't copy and paste in roll call, but I dusted Day 5, on day 6. About the same as you Quit Wining?

[Starfish1]

Great to hear from you, Kensho!

A vacation in the mountains sounds like an amazing time to "retreat" as much as you can and enjoy nature and your sobriety. Hanging out with the kids will be a lot more fun than getting wasted with the adults. Believe me!
I guess I am out of the loop on family statistics here. How many do you have and what are there ages? I have four dtrs (all almost) grown now, but the first 3 were only 2 years apart, so pretty busy times when they are all little and needy. I hope your's are at the age where you can all enjoy each other. I hope you all sleep better tonight. Maybe the mountain air will help.

Hey, I will go over and post your days on Roll Call for you!

[KENSHO]

Thanks Star, you're a gem Daughter is 6, son is 9. Fun ages, trying to enjoy the moment while they're young!

[Starfish1]

trying to enjoy the moment while they're young!

You'll never regret that!

They sound like the perfect age to enjoy a weekend in the mountains! Have fun!

[Starfish1]

Hey Gang,

Checking out early tonight. Home and sober, but I seem to have a touch of a stomach bug. Going to bed. Catch you all on the flip side.

[available]

Morning nest

A busy week again, not sure how i ever woke daily with a hangover and functioned through life. Does my head in thinking about it really, so i dont dwell.

Having a daughter/mum weekend this weekend. Op shopping, buying some more wool to store for the "just in cases", housework as i need to get rid of the cobwebs, its looking like the Adams Family at the moment. All the mundane, boring things that i never did whilst drinking.

I did have a thought driving home that "damn i deserved a drink today" as i was sitting for an hour and a half in peak hour traffic. Where the f**k did that thought come from. The last thing i deserve is a drink. I deserved an early night, some laughs with my family and a sleep in.

Star can i ask why after 3+ years sobriety did you drink again? Sorry if you posted this before but i am intrigued as to why, its a road i dont want to travel down.

LC where are you or still holidaying? I hope you are safe and sober and if not come back, i miss you.

Off to make a cuppa and hang the washing out so it can get a rinse with the rain that is coming. Bring on spring i say. We have lived under a constant cloud of gloom this winter and i am missing the sun.

Lavb how is that puppy? My daughter has taken my shitzu since she was really sick and i am thinking (i wont though) of another small dog but my other dog is 13 and she is loving being the only one. I want to work where you do!

Have a great weekend everyone. x