Newbies Nest

[NoSugar]

By the way, I'm not convinced about the "empty pockets of the soul" thing, at least not in all cases, as explained here:

https://www.mywayout.org/community/showthread.php?90684-Online-Media-Toolbox&p=1594715&viewfull=1#post1594715

[Starfish1]

Aha, I understand now. Thanks for posting that. It all sounds very familiar.

[Marylou123]

Happy Saturday Nesters,

Quick check in from Tropical Storm-free south FL - Yippee!! Might be a bit rainy and windy but that sure beats a hurricane. Grateful for that. Enjoying a great cuppa decaf (mom buys really good coffee) and snuggled in for the night. Tomorrow we'll get our Scrabble on - my game is soo much better now vs. when I was drinking - you can imagine.

Brydie - you're that little boy's angel today. That makes me smile and my heart swell - what a wonderful memory your helping him develop.

Star - thank you so very much for sharing your story. Like Ava said, that's one road I don't want to go down. You've underscored the importance of our connection and staying vigilant with our sobriety plan. Your two cents is worth a million.

NS - another good article. I was never interested in just one or two, even when I first started drinking. I was always chasing the buzz. To me, there was no point in a glass of wine. I don't think I could tell the difference between a "fine" wine and a just-okay wine. (With minor exception for the real swill - but that would just mean a trip to the store.). I am A-OK with the concept of being in remission. Today. And since tomorrow never comes...my hope is to be in remission every today. (Hence the importance of the comment above.)

Have a fabulous evening/morning. Hugs to all.

[kherriot]

Not sure if I am ready to come back yet but all of you have been on my mind lately. Still feeling really embarrassed for screwing up. Not quite sure how to handle it but I am glad you are all there. I am sure things will get better............eventually.

[NoSugar]

Hi, Karen,
The best thing to do is to snuggle right back in. We missed you, NS

[available]

Morning nest

Well i had the best sleep in, i love my sleeping patterns now even if it took over a year to get to them. I am always grateful that even six hours sound sleep is better than the coma i used to put myself into.

Thanks Star for sharing your story. It really hit home to me that it is that easy to start again. One simple sentence can send us spiralling back to where we were. We have no control with al and we never will and i always shut down those thoughts as quickly as possible when i think i would love a drink. I always think to myself that i dont have another quit in me and to see how long it took you to get that strength back is amazing and admirable. Thank you again.

Great posts NS, I have a thinking problem, now that would get a few questions i am sure. Luckily now i dont think about it too much but those thoughts can pop up at the strangest times. They are much easier to close than when i first stopped thank goodness.

Mary, enjoy your time away, im pretty used to miserable horrible weather at the moment. Bring on Spring! I totally agree that accountability and being around people that "get it" is so important. Somedays i think i dont need MWO anymore but i cant keep away from my cyber friends and i need the affirmation that I am doing great on this journey.

Welcome back Kherro, stick yourself on here and you will get it. Firm hands and guidance got me to where i am. Today is 91 weeks for me and take me back to my day 1 and never ever ever did i think i would be sober and enjoying life and all it has to offer. I still dont think its me, that i could accomplish something so important for me and for my family.

Have a great day x

[Lavande]

Good evening Nesters,

Thanks for posting your interestng articles NS. I love reading all the different ideas, opinions & insights on this problem we all share

MaryLou, glad your visit is going well & the weather is behaving!

Ava, life is good so we should enjoy it, right? I hope your weather improves very soon.

Karen, welcome back. Make yourself comfortable & let us now how we can help.

I am having a nice weekend with my grandson - couldn't ask for anything more.
Wishing everyone a safe & peaceful night in the nest.

Lav

[Quit wining]

Wish everyone a great night in the nest!

Karen, welcome back. No need to feel embarrassed about having a set back, we've all had them. The important thing is that you're here and among friends. I can't recall how many Day 1's I've had.

Today is Day 7 for me, Kensho also I believe. Congrats Kensho!

And thanks everyone for your support!

[KENSHO]

Thanks NS for the articles and info. I like the end statement that there's no such thing as a pain free life. Makes me recount the reasons I drank - often to "alleviate" something. Like the fairly new movie Inside Out (in the states... Not sure if it's elsewhere), we need ALL emotions to be whole. Trying to bypass the uncomfortable ones with alcohol deprives us if the full experiences and we don't grow.

Marylou, my new favorite phrase is to have a good and strong "every today"

Skipped drinks again tonight at my favorite marg. place. Again, I remembered, like NS's article, that what I would be chasing with that drink was never as good as my imagination. I had a virgin mango daqueri and it was yummy. They continue to drink out at the hot tub. Feeling annoyed, but trying not to be judgmental. Day 6 done.

[Pavati]

Hi, Nest:

Thanks for the article, NS. I actually got stuck on that empty vessel line, too. I really don't think it is very useful for me to think about the WHY - there is no going back there now. I had a fairly good life and no different from my two siblings who drink and AREN'T alcoholics. My mom drinks too much, but has an off switch. None of that matters. I can't drink.

I am grateful I had a wonderful day out in the sunshine with good friends. I wasn't hungover or drinking, I am healthy and happy. What a relief.

Off to bed now - to sleep a sound sleep that I didn't know was possible.

Pav

[Byrdlady]

Good morning, Nesters.
Great reading here from the night shift and interesting articles, NS! Thank you for finding those for us.
Quit Wining, as promised, we are lining up in formation....in honor of your having completed 7 days AF!!! Are you ready for your 2-cheek Salute? :butt: Here's to putting the worst part BEHIND you! Well done!
We will be keeping our keysters warmed up for Kensho's 7th day completion post.

My brother in law passed away this morning. You may remember that he and my next door neighbor has strokes just about the same time 2 months ago. Each took different courses, but unfortunately ended the same. Im so glad Im sober to be able to truly sort thru the emotional roller coaster the coming days will bring.

Hope evryone has an easy day. Byrdie

[Starfish1]

:welcome: Welcome back, Karen. I hope you settle in the nest when you are ready. We can help each other!

[Marylou123]

Byrdie - I'm so sorry about your BIL. Thoughts and prayers are with you dear lady and your family.

QW - whoot whoot - congrats!!

And Kensho...this week I am actually looking forward to Monday - your day.

Kherro - welcome back, I second NS's comment - we missed you. So glad you came back to the nest.

Ava - 91 weeks!! "You've come a long way Lady!"

Have a great one all.

[frances]

I'm very sorry for the loss of your brother in law, Byrdie.

[NoSugar]

I actually got stuck on that empty vessel line, too. I really don't think it is very useful for me to think about the WHY - there is no going back there now. I had a fairly good life and no different from my two siblings who drink and AREN'T alcoholics.

You were lurking while I was at the beginning of quitting, Pav, so you probably read all my guilt-ridden, angsty posts about "having done this to myself". I was obsessed with knowing why it had happened to me and why I, the Queen of Self-control, hadn't stopped it before it became a problem. I could not get past that and while it didn't make me give up and drink, I was tied in knots and not moving forward.

Was it because I had been such a perfectionist until I finally relaxed a bit in my mid-20s? Was it because I flirted with developing an eating disorder in college? Was it because my nest emptied at about the same time my husband became seriously ill? Or because my best friend died and another friend betrayed me? All of these things happened in my 40s, the same decade that my drinking became a problem. I didn't even drink until sometime in my mid-30s when my life was just what I wanted - I did not at that time have a hole in my soul. I drank because I've been always one to follow health advice and I started having a glass of red wine with dinner. Many of my friends were into the wine scene and joining them seemed a social and sophisticated thing to do.

By the time the big stresses began, I had come to enjoy wine and was not consuming it for health or because others were doing it - I wanted it. It didn't feel that way but I think the addiction had already become established - it just wasn't obvious to me or anyone around me. I'm sure as the stresses developed, I drank more to calm myself and deal with them and ultimately, I was drinking too much each and every day. By then, there was a hole in my soul that I was desperately trying to fill and essentially no meaning in my life. But I think that was caused by alcohol - my problems didn't cause me to drink and become addicted - as evidenced by the fact that all of the anxiety and hopelessness and despair went away when I stopped poisoning myself everyday and was no longer dealing with all the day-to-day effort of feeding an addiction.

For whatever physiological reason, I had the capacity to become addicted to alcohol, much like I have had a problem with consuming certain types of foods. I think all of these things are related. With enough exposure to alcohol, I became addicted and I think the die was cast long before my life was in upheaval and I needed something to help me cope. I already had an effective, fast-acting tool for escape, and boy did I use it.

I guess the point of this rambling post is to encourage others not to muck around in the past - move forward and find other ways to deal with stress. There are some challenges in my life right now, not completely unlike some of those I drank through 10 years ago. I would like to escape or fill those holes but I know now that alcohol makes them bigger. Thanks to what I've learned over the last 2.5 years and thanks to many of you, I've got new tools and I'm using them.

Getting past an addiction truly can make you stronger. And a whole lot more resilient and happier. xx, NS