Newbies Nest

[Starfish1]

Just checking in, briefly, gang.

I have a house full today, and not much time to post, but want you all to know I am thinking of you.

So sorry about your BIL, Byrdie!

[Quit wining]

Byrdie, my condolences on the passing of your brother in law.

And you're right - being sober will be a benefit, always, and over the next few days especially.

Your friends in the nest and all of MWO are with you.

[jane27]

Byrdie, I'm so sorry. Wishing you strength to help you through the loss and sadness. :hug:

[Samstone]

Byrdie
so sorry to read of your loss. Thinking of you and your family
Sam

[Ginger999]

Byrdie, I'm so sorry for your loss. Sending a huge hug to you and your family.

[Lavande]

Good evening everyone,

Byrdie, I am very sorry for your loss. Please know that we are all thinking of you with much love :hug:

NS, I am probably not the only one who, like you began drinking for one reason but continued drinking for (through) many reasons. That instant Band-Aid effect is what I wanted for a period of about 10 years (through my mid-forties to my mid-fifties). We no longer need the bandage & for that I am forever grateful.

Greetings to all & sending wishes for a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[abcowboy]

Our heartfelt condolences go out to the entire family Byrdie...:hug:

[KENSHO]

Howdy. Sorry to hear about your brother in law Byrdie.

NS, once again, your post was just what I needed to hear. I appreciate your honest account of your history.

My 6 yr. old slept fine while away for two nights, but once again, she is crying at bedtime saying she is scared. We are in a sleep issue pattern - holy moly I can't wait to get past it. It seems like a control issue thing - but not sure and we are at our wits end as to how to deal with it. Anyway, small problems here. But glad to not be drinking.

Good night.

[Londoner]

Sending love your way Byrdie.



So, 2 weeks off the booze for me. That's the longest streak for, probably 6 months or so. Just starting to clear the head. The usual recovery process is in place. First I drop booze. Then I binge on internet/TV, food and poor sleeping habits. Slowly my eating gets better. Then I start sleeping better. Then exercise kicks in and I'm a different guy.

But! This time round I know something has to change. I've been looking deeper into the reasons why I abuse.....anything. (TV, AL, food etc.) And it all comes down to emotions and what I really want. What I want is connection! But I've shut myself off for so long that this shell I've built up around me is hard to break down. And so I use instant gratification for a temporary pleasure & to shut the thinking brain off.

This time around I am ready to be vulnerable. I want to show my flaws. I want to connect with people. I want to feel again. I want to find out what I am about for real.

The big question is :"What do I really want?" Is it to get shit faced? Or is there something deeper? Like wanting to communicate with someone on a real level. Do I want to gorge myself on processed food? Or am I using it because I am bored/lonely/tired?

Happy Monday everyone.

[Eloise]

Happy Monday to you too Londoner.
I couldn't be happier to see your post, yup, you have to do things a bit differently this time and replace that empty drinking time with something else. For me, it was learning to ride horseback. Now I am back to drawing and focusing on my own art work as well as my kids art program.
Baby steps is what I say.

Brydie, very sorry about your loss, sad indeed to hear about this.

[abcowboy]

One of the most striking 'movements' in recent years has been the 'It Gets Better' project which aims to provide support to individuals in the LGBT community, mainly younger members, who are being harassed or bullied because of their sexuality.

It may seem like an odd parallel to draw, but I wonder if there is room on MWO for something similar. I appreciate that this site set out to help people address the relationship they have with alcohol, but the reality is that there are many people with very deep issues, of which alcohol is a key manifestation.

For everyone who is trying to quit and is struggling, I really do want to say 'It Gets Better'. I know this is different from dealing with bullying because the issue often lies internally rather than externally, or in a person's reaction to external forces. But the despair that some people feel can be completely overwhelming. I remember sitting and drinking myself senseless, crying to myself, knowing that I wanted to stop but felt like I couldn't, that I was out of control.

But as the long-term sober people on here will testify - it does get better. It may be difficult to stop, but there is ALWAYS a way - it is just a question of finding it. It doesn't mean it is going to be easy. Even when you have stopped there are times when it is hard, and life will be shitty. But it is worth it. And if you want it enough, it WILL happen.

I don't know whether I am articulating my point all that well - but I think you'll get the sentiment. Stay strong everyone!

[Guitarista]

Very sorry to hear of your loss Byrdie. My condolences. Take care my friend.

G

[Starfish1]

Good Morning, Friends.

I am preparing for a meeting at work and don't have but a split second to post, but just wanted to commend Londoner for that post. I am so proud of you and think you are onto something there. You are doing so well and I see great things in store for you! Keep up the great work.

ABC, you are so wise and offer so much to this site. Thank you for all your help. You are a life-saver for many and we appreciate you!

[Byrdlady]

Good morning, fellow nesters!
Thank you so much for the condolences, I appreciate your words immensely. What a wonderful group of people. Strength in numbers.

Londoner, I was reading around here somewhere and there was an article about the opposite of drunk wasn't SOBER, it was CONNECTION. I thought it odd at the time, but your note really connects the dots. I wonder if I could find that article and get it over here for you.....ugg....I will TRY!

ABCowboy, you said a mouthful in your post also. When I was new, the old timers would fly in and say how wonderful being sober was, blah, blah, blah, but they neglected to tell me HOW the hell to do it! Now I know, it's like headlights on your car.....you deal with what's directly in front of you and take it from there.

Hope everyone has an easy day! Byrdie

[Starfish1]

I remember that one about Connection, too, Byrdie...Cowboy, was that you that posted that one too? I looked but I couldn't find it either...