Newbies Nest

[abcowboy]

Hmmm, what article were you guys looking for? If it was about Connection, I think NS posted it...

Edit: I borrowed Spiritfree's hound dog Flash to sniff it out for me lol, it was Sunbeam who posted it

"I just watched a great TED talk, the opposite of addiction is connection, not sobriety . Connection enables and replaces addiction. http://www.ted.com/talks/johann_hari...ction_is_wrong "

And by the way, Sunbeam is celebrating 3 years sober today! And I think Dottie Belle is celebrating 2 years today!

[Byrdlady]

Dang, ABCowboy, you have a nose for news!! GREAT JOB sniffing that out! Thank you, it was really bugging me, I couldn't remember WHERE I read it! B

[KENSHO]

Congrats Ava, Pav and LilBit! You all sound great, and I appreciate your words of wisdom.

I posted a note in roll call accidentally and removed it. But I wanted to say it here because it has been really important to me.

Basically, when I first came here, I knew I had to change my current behaviors. But it hasn't been until recently that I have realized how much alcohol has negatively impacted my life - for a very long time. I started to remember the times in my past - from age 20 on - when I abused alcohol and had trouble controlling it. Just because it hasn't destroyed my life (yet) doesn't mean there isn't a problem with me + alcohol. I used it for the wrong reasons and I will never be able to have a little. That makes it much easier to swallow the idea of stopping completely.

I DO think there are some confusing definitions of "alcoholic" out there. I grew up believing that an alcoholic drinks to obliteration every night, screaming obscenities while stumbling around and then throwing up and passing out on the kitchen floor. I grew up believing that "in Europe, people drink 1-2 glasses of wine per day, and that's OK". I grew up believing that in college, it was normal and completely OK that I go to parties and drink way too much, way too often.

Now I see that alcoholism is how we, as individuals, react when consuming any amount of alcohol. If we can't stop when we want to, and drink for relief of anything (stress, loneliness, hunger, depression, etc.), we have a problem. I thought my problem began when I had my son, but it began much longer ago.

Anyway, revelation for me. Thank you all for helping me see that.

[Lavande]

Good afternoon Nesters,

I'm in the middle of a busy day with my 4 year old grandson. No way could I have ever done this with a hang over - that's for sure!!

Pav, CONGRATS on your big 21 AF months!
I'll go look for celebrations threads for Sunbeam & Dottie on their major accomplishments too

Kensho, I hope you really believe what you are saying. Acceptance is the big first step we all had to take, possibly the most important step. Wishing you the best on your journey.

Wishing everyone a good AF rest of the day!

Lav

[Starfish1]

:heartthumbs: Congratulations, Pav, on 21 months!!! Great work! Thanks for all the inspiration!!!

[Fat fella]

"Hi all
Back for yet another attempt to kick this thing out of my life. Don't know why I failed last time, only know I must keep trying. Day 2 today."

Well that was what I posted back in May and it didn't last I'm ashamed to say. However, day 1 is just drawing to a close for me. I don't understand my relationship with AL. Deep down the thing I most want is to be totally free from its clutches, so why oh why, do I end up convincing myself that I can try again and just moderate. I cannot moderate. I need to be 100% AF.
I have planned this day for a couple of weeks, gradually reducing my intake and putting together a plan, reading stuff on quitting etc. I think I am ready now, so please bear with me whilst I give it my best shot (no pun intended).

[Starfish1]

Hey Fat Fella,

I remember you!! Welcome back, and congratulations on Day 1. :welldone:

The first of the month is a great time to get started and it's great that you have been anticipating and planning on this day. You sound ready! That's half the battle, right there. Now just keep reading and posting. Take care of yourself. Eat well, rest as much as possible and stay well-hydrated.

I am back in the nest again, I have 20 days in now and the time has just flown by. I feel great and you will too, before long. I am so happy to be here with old friends. And so happy to be sober again.

I encourage anyone out there who has been lurking and/or wanting to come back to do so today. We can do this!

[Fat fella]

Thanks Starfish, I'm glad to be back here and really looking forward to making this work!

[Starfish1]

I'll do anything I can to help. Hang on tight! We have a great support system here. We are very lucky!

[LilBit]

Welcome back, FF! 'Glad to see you. I think that many of us here did the same thing.

Thanks, everyone, for the 6-months congrats and yay for Ava and Pav! Celebrating with friends is the sweet icing on the success cake.

I feel like the world has gone a little mad lately. My close friend's 53-year-old husband is in hospice care at home with cancer, losing his coherency and probably very near the end. Now, my other friend who was helping me support them had to rush her own husband (a fellow skater and my friend of many years who seemed perfectly healthy) to the hospital with a yet-to-be diagnosed, serious condition that struck him suddenly. He's unable to recognize his wife and still in the ICU. At least I'm glad to be present for all of them and not a useless, wine-drenched basket case. Please treasure your good moments, folks. We never know when they'll be whisked away.

On a lighter note, I also found the cat and dog sleeping beside each other on the sofa. A mad world indeed...

[Dutch1988]

Hey FF good luck man, better now then never

[Starfish1]

Lil Bit :hug: You are a great friend!

[Guitarista]

Sorry to hear all that Lil bit. Best wishes to you all there. Yep, it is gr8 we are sober to be useful. My mum has a fractured leg at the moment, fortunately recovering well and mentally positive, but I wouldn't have been able to be there to share the load with my other siblings if I'd have kept boozing. It would've been a time they'd have remembered and I would've forgotten about (yet again). But we can turn a lot of history around through our actions today, thus making new history.

Keep raawkin Starfish.

Good to see you FF! Go for it.

[LavenderBlue]

Gah, I've been reading but haven't posted in a bit.
Ava, Pav, LilBit, and Londoner YAY you guys!!!
Byrdie, my condolences.
Welcome back Fat fella, stick close and congrats on Day `1!

I had my followup appointment today out at Mayo Clinic. I was also scheduled for a one-on-one class about stress management. There were three parts of it that REALLY hit home for me:

1) Worrying and stressing not only doesn't help, but it actively hurts your ability to react to stressful things. When your body is always running on high alert, it's too worn out to handle when things shift or something happens. So, even though fretting feels like it makes you better prepared, it actually does the opposite.

2) While our stress reactions are automatic, our relaxations ones aren't. The good news is the more we practice, the easier it becomes to get our brain into "relax" mode instead of panic mode.

3) She asked me if I did anything for exercise. I responded that of course, my job is very physical! Then she asked about my days off - well, I walk the dog when I can. Then she asked me if I do any sort of exercise that isn't part of caring for someone else...
...
...
Oh. No, I really don't. So she sent me home with a basic tai chi dvd and suggested I make time to do that or something else JUST for me. I hadn't realized that even my exercise tends to be caretaking for others!

[Lavande]

Good evening Nesters,

Welcome back FF, good to see you!
Keep yourself glued to the nest, focus on your plan, we'e here to help.

Lil, I'm so sorry about you friends! Wow, when it rains, it pours!
I'm sure you are helping just by being fullly present for them, hope everything works out OK :hug:

LavB, we have to learn to be selfish - in a way. Take care of yourself first so that you are in the best possible shape to assist others. I was forced into a taking care of others mode at a very, very early age. I had just turned 4, my baby brother was born 1 week before my birthday, my grandmother had a heart attack 1 week after my birthday on Christmas day. Needless to say my childhood pretty much ended right then & there
I ended up doing a 28 year career n nursing before I finally burned the hell out & that's when my drinking career started. Take care of YOU

Hello to everyone & wishing a safe & comfy night in the nest for all!

Lav