Newbies Nest

[Mr Vervill]

Haven't checked in in a while, but have been reading a little.
Big shout-out to Lav-Pav twins, Lil bit, and Londoner! Congrats all.
Alson condolnces to Byrdie, and Lil on their loses. Safe travels, Byrdie.
I did check out the connections video on TED, thanks, Matt, Byrdie, and Cowboy.
Welcome back FF!, and great to see you again as well G-man.
As I think about the struggles of us all, especially Kensho, FF, Addy, starfish and myself,
I'm reminded by this quote from Henry Ford, it applies to many things in life.11986479_10106164625507929_9110898290761118145_n.jpg

[Mr Vervill]

Missed a couple of you. ( if I've missed more, apologizes)
Star 21 days! three weeks!
Jane 600 days, woot!

[Guitarista]

Good to see you Mr V. Hope you're kicking some arse there friend.

Congrat's again to all the fab milestones we keep racking up 'round here. Day 13 again meself. I am channelling the magnificent Byrdy as my life turns around on this auspicious day permanently for the better. Off to the gym then a run. Victory! :victorious:

[Pavati]

Hi, all;

Thanks for the congratulations. Because of that pesky date line Ava starts her celebration 2 days before I do, even though our quit dates are only one calendar day away. It is great - we get an extra long celebration!

Dr. John Kelly, in a Bubble Hour episode I highly recommend, talks about the physical effects of drinking and your brain. Basically the alcohol causes your brain to make a lot of dopamine and has a big party up there all the time. The dopamine get overly stimulated after a while, and basically plug their ears, reducing the amount of dopamine that they take in. When we quit, they resolutely hang on with their ears plugged, unaware that they can let go for a while. That is why after a quit we have a flat period when it doesn't seem like we'll have those high highs again without booze. Eventually, they realize they can receive normal amounts of dopamine again and they open up, freeing our brains to do what they do, giving us highs when we hug our families, go for a great hike, workout a the gym or play with our furry friends. That is also why he says that it is actually the amount of alcohol free days in a row that makes a difference for healing. Here is the link to the episode: Ending the Stigma of Addiction Through Science.

Lil - SO glad you could be there for your friend. It is so important to live in the mom(ent).

Welcome back FF - congratulations on day 2.

I'm off to find the other big milestoners.

xo
Pav

[Dutch1988]

Lilbit and byrdie best of luck to you two. I have not been in that situation yet and my family is notorious for handling death with lots of alcohol so I am going to enjoy everyday I have and pray I have enough strength when something tough comes around. I will keep in mind I can be a pillar of strength as you have mentioned.

Well it's finally been happening, that saying that feeling good is supposed to improve with sober time. I wanted to make sure I posted on here because momths 2-5 kind of sucked for me as an emotional roller coaster. I've been posting less because I've been thinking about drinking much less. Still I need to stay close on here, lest I get snuck up on. I pulled my hip flexor which hurts working out today, but I am beat anyway. I also noticed I haven't been thinking man I really want a drink when I get home. Also good.

[Lavande]

Good morning Nesters, happy Thursday to all

Pav, it is good to know the science behind the stages we go through when we quit. I remember feeling essentially hopeless & pretty much operated on blind faith. My mentors urged me to just jump in & give it a try & I did. They were right of course but boy was I ever scared. I am grateful now, nonetheless

Wishing everyone a great AF Thursday!

Lav

[Byrdlady]

I am so grateful for all of your well-wishes. You all are my secret weapon in getting over rough edges. I have a little army in my pocket and that is comforting.

There was no service last night, just a visitation and I think that was really nice in terms of tears and outright grief. So it was merciful, at least to me, to just visit with my hubs' family. My niece and her dad drove in and took us to dinner afterwards. That was really nice of them, especially HIM (my sis's hubs) who lives 4 hours away. My sister is in St Louie with their son, who has a crazy medical problem in that he can't sit down. He has a muscle in constant spasm and has been to countless (well, 18, so I guess they aren't countless!) specialists who have thrown their hands up. He is now going to an acupuncturist who says "I fix in 2 week!!!" So we will see! My nephew has had this problem for 3 years and is in grad school up there. Sorry to get into all of that...but in case you were wondering why my BIL was there without my sister, that is why. My niece just got dumped by her BF, so she may come down this weekend to make cookies with me. You know it's bad when a 26 year old will drive 3 hours to make cookies with her aunt.

I visited with my hubs' relatives and they would say, 'Oh I remember you from Uncle ____'s funeral'. I had to give them the 'OH YEAH' nod. No clue. I think I drank more than I thought, as I didn't remember them to save my life!! I had to excuse myself to go to the ladies room once and I tell you, the flashbacks of getting in that stall and finding my lifeline came rushing back. This is where the booze in the hairspray bottle would come in! My scotts, if there were a hidden camera in there, I would DIE!!! What a visual!

Lil Bit, I will be thinking of you, as your challenging days are ahead with 'the arrangements'.

On July 8, 2012, I got a call from my BFF from grade school. They were at a nearby beach on vacation and were going out to dinner and her hubs collapsed on the floor. She and her two children, 20 and 22, were on the way to our local hospital to meet him. She asked if I could go over and sit with them while they got him straightened out. This was 5 o'clock on a Sunday. We sat for two hours awaiting word of his condition and finally I said to the desk person...somebody has got to know SOMETHING. We discovered he was at another hospital about 45 minutes away. So we rushed over there. Unfortunately, he didn't make it. As soon as they got him in the ambulance, he had another massive heart attack and died so they just took him to the closet facility instead of the one that specialized in cardiac care. That night is one that really stands out as a reason that I am so grateful to be sober. I was present for her and her family. They were totally lost....in a strange town, and their world had just been pulled out from under them. I was there to help make decisions and get information to people who needed to know. I got them back over to my house instead of the condo where it happened and was able to stay up and talk and cry with them. It was an awful time, but I WAS THERE. Every little struggle I ever had about being sober was erased that night. Do whatever it takes to get and stay sober. None of that would have been possible had I still been drinking...remember I started at 10:30 am on weekends...

Mr. V and FF, great to see you! Pull up a twig and stay!
Hope everyone has a peaceful day. Byrdie

[kherriot]

I feel so guilty after reading the posts about all the hardships that are happening right now with the "newbies" group. My problems seem so minimal compared to what is happening. I have decided to come back and start again. Thanks ABC for your support. I realize that I can't keep beating myself up for my failures. All I can do is get back to my goal. So here is to DAY 1.....................Hope it goes better this time. Thanks for all your support.

[Starfish1]

Welcome Back, Karen :hug:

We are so glad to have you back in the nest with us. I, myself, am newly back and am just in awe of all the strength, wisdom and support here. In fact, I am speechless. East post I read resonates as though I wrote it myself. This is a great group and a great time to hop back in. Here's the butt velcro :happy2:

[KENSHO]

Good morning. Checking in.

Glad you are here Karen and Mr. Vervill.

Remembering how when I cleaned out my home office last summer (I work from home), I found probably 15 empty bottles - of every kind of alcohol. They were deep in my fabric bags, my file drawers and my closet - where my husband and family would not look. I was so relieved to get rid of them. It is amazing that I never lost track of which bottles had some still in them, and which didn't. It's also amazing that I was able to convince myself that I only had a "little" problem the past couple months - that enough time had passed (only 2 months AF!) that I could go back to normal drinking - one at dinner once in awhile. AMAZING. The power of the brain and of AL.

Have a positive day and be kind to yourselves.

[Fat fella]

Hi all, struggling to post tonight as under pressure time wise. Just wanted to check in and wish everyone well. Day 3 nearly done.

[Starfish1]

Thanks for checking in, Fella. You are doing great! Remember to be nice to yourself. Don't let the pressure bother you. Do something nice for YOU!!!

[kherriot]

Really really hard right now. I think I have really blown it his time. We are not talking at all. Making dinner and then bed. Don't know if I will be able to sleep, maybe sleeping pils.

[Guitarista]

Day 14 here yet again, maybe for the 1000th time, but it's important to keep at it if a sober life is what you want, and it is what I want and I will have it. Daily action, with a term I'm happy to use....my 'recovery', I have discovered is essential for me. For me this means lacing up the running shoes and simply heading out the door every morning before any negative thinking takes hold. Right there in that simple sentence is the foundation for my sobriety. As long as I keep doing this, along with daily meditation, reflection on what I want and why I want to live sober, allowing myself to feel my emotions and accept them, letting them pass like clouds in the sky, I will be okay. Not so hard for a tough guy huh? :happy2:

Stick with it Nesters and take back your precious lives. Yo! :afro:

[available]

What happened Karen? Here to listen if you want to rant. Al does us no favours with anything in life but getting out of the hole and proving to yourself you are worth all that life has to offer is very important. We have all made mistakes drinking, i know i have made some larger than life f**k ups. Take care of yourself