Newbies Nest

[available]

I totally agree with you MrG, the wanting to stop but not wanting to stop. For me it took pure grit and determination, reaching out to my children for help and asking for help when i felt vulnerable and that i was going to have that one drink. Something as simple as a "no mum you dont want that drink" would switch my craving/need to a different tangent. I also watched a really interesting documentary made by a NZ mother when she gave up al (cant remember the name) and she went through the "what nows, i will be bored, my life will never be the same" and it showed how much her life had changed for the better which i never believed could be true for one damn minute at the start. But it is true, even through the crap of life and stresses, my life is not the same as it was when i drank and it is better, i never thought it would be, i loved my best friend al more than anything else in my life at the end. Now al has no place here, i realise al gave me no happiness, no joy, no reason to live. Life gives me all of that and more.

There can never be just drink for an alcoholic and as long as i keep telling myself that then i wont fail in my journey.

[Guitarista]

Now al has no place here, i realise al gave me no happiness, no joy, no reason to live. Life gives me all of that and more.

Love this post Ava, and what you said here. Right on!

[Lavande]

Good morning Nesters & Happy Labor Day to all

[Byrdlady]

Checking in! Having a great visit with my niece! Hope everyone has a happy Labor Day! Byrdie

[Marylou123]

Good Morning Nesters - checking in on this holiday. Kensho, way to get through the evening -- good job. Have a safe, happy day all.

[Eloise]

Here I am Star! Back from driving around visiting grandma.

Also went to see a hobby farm for sale today. The owners have been trying to sell for over 6 years. It is a land lease and now the landlord will take back the house. The occupants have to leave. They have lived there for 20 years. Needless to say I walked away feeling terrible for these people. Imagine spending 20 years in a house, fixing it, loving it, loving your family and animals there and after20 years you have to walk away with nothing but memories. Hard times folks.
Time to be happy for the blessings we have and kindness for those dealing with nonsense like this.
Oh, and the couple were STILL optimistic that they might sell it in the next 3 weeks. They had a buyer last month but the landlord said no. Crazy. I think I have decided that I am not looking at anymore houses on estates with land leases. Nonsensical.

Otherwise, all is well. I am a little wound up because of driving. Plus we have a little car (my idea= bad one) and I am nervous on the highway with it. I like to pretend I am cool with it, but I am not.

No drinking thoughts these days. Lots of thoughts about how glad I am not drinking though!!

[abcowboy]

Howdy everyone! Happy Labour Day to all those fortunate to enjoy a day off! Cool, windy, and raining up here in N.E. Alberta, so harvesting will be delayed till crops dry enough to combine again. Yesterday I noticed that it’s been just over a year since I found and joined MWO. What a year it’s been for both me and MWO, both of us have received major changes lol. For the better in both cases for sure!

When I first joined MWO, I was skeptical that online recovery could or would work. With the internet, who could know the sincerity and honesty of anonymous members? And probably not all here are sincere, or honest, I know I wasn’t when I first joined, so my prayers go out to them. I thought that I would probably check in every so often to read and possibly get some ideas to assist what I was learning in AA. Never did I think that I would benefit more from MWO than what I was getting from AA! How everything has changed, I read and post daily on MWO and haven’t attended an AA meeting for 8 months, and yet, I’m almost 8 months sober. Who would have thought…..

As the old saying goes “you get out what you put in” and for me that is especially true with MWO. You can come here and just read, absorb all that is talked about, and you will get some benefit from the stories shared and advice given. But it’s when you start to contribute, to get involved, when the real benefit of online recovery shines through! You see, by helping and supporting others, you are helping and supporting yourself, and that’s what service is all about, helping each other help themselves!
And you think you have nothing to contribute, your story isn’t as bad, or it’s just the same as everyone else’s. That may be true as well, but here you have a place to unload those burdens, and by talking about them, you are one step closer to laying them to rest.

We all know this journey isn’t easy, but there’s no sense making it harder by trying to do it yourself. And by helping others, you’ll be helping yourself! Just remember, you get out what you put in….. So I think I just might stick around MWO for a few more years, who knows, some of my cowboy logic may help someone when they need it most!

[Starfish1]

Hi everyone. Just checking in! I am on the run here, but wanted to say hello and happy Labor Day to all! Really proud of you for sticking with it Kensho! Eating is the silver bullet! Please please please get your husband on board with it all, I know from painful experience how important that is.
Sorry about any typos friends. I am typing from my phone and having vision problems on top of that.
Have a great day, all!

[Dutch1988]

Happy Labor Day all! Abc your so right about participating. You can't enjoy the benefits of connecting with an online community whole heartedly if you just read. There has to be some kind of dialogue.

Kensho I am glad you made it through that meal, especially now I have a hard time eating with something sweet to replace alcohol. I spent the night at my sisters last night and it was different. They both were drinking extra hard(husband recently found out my sister cheated on him 6 years ago). So every trip to the store to restock I became a venting outlet. I don't know if I helped giving him an ear since I wasn't drinking, my BIL has a tendency to talk too much when he's been drinking and get redundant, and I have a filter that gets removed when I drink, so I am sure by the 4th drink I would have said something to piss him off. Instead I tried to just listen, which I think helped. We spent the night because it seemed to help the two of them act like more of a couple. But if he's killing this much alcohol just to numb his feelings about her cheating I don't see how they are going to work. Still, yet another family get together where I didn't drink. I even talked my wife into having one because I know she can't hold her liquor and would be dancing with two year olds after a fourth of one. I know people talk about alcoholics being allergic but she's the only one I know who is really allergic, she can't hold her liquor for jack. Like a walking talking Antabuse.

I would have been stressed all day hanging out with my family, yesterday I almost enjoyed hanging out with them despite school everywhere. That's progress but still not where I want to be.

[Starfish1]

Sounding great, Dutch! Keep up the good work!

[Byrdlady]

Good afternoon, all! My niece and her dog just left. We had a great visit. She recently broke up with her BF and I thought we'd be trying to mend a broken heart, but instead, she got right back on the horse, joined a dating webiste and has met a new improved guy! They have been texting back and forth for 2 days....it must be love, right?! This morning we went on a helicopter ride and then got pedicures. We had a blast. No AL in sight! I am so happy to be free of that burden.
Everyone is doing great! Hang strong!
Byrdie

[okoren1]

Well… this is really tough. I am here with my head hanging down; ashamed and embarrassed.

I drank a few times over the last couple of weeks. This is after successfully clocking in just over a year AF.

Last night I returned from a cycling trip for a couple of weeks in southern France and after a long day in the saddle, a beer just sounded too good, so I succumbed 4 or 5 times.

The beer wasn’t really that enjoyable, I’d just have one each time, but I broke my pledge (to myself). So, I am starting over, (this is day 3).

Its’ been said on these pages that a relapse starts well before that first drink is taken. So, I am going to do some serious soul searching to figure out what’s going on. Bear with me folks, as I try to unpack this thing; as thoughts come up, I will be posting here in the Nest.

[Quit wining]

Hi Okoren1, welcome back to the nest!

No need to feel embarrassed or ashamed as pretty much everyone here has done the same thing.

I've read the comment a few times that a relapse starts well before the first drink is taken. I believe it. In my case, it was a false sense that I could moderate.

This is my 4th time here, the longest I made it AF was about 5 months. I'm on Day 16 and enjoying the return to better health. I know I have a long way to go and I try to constantly remind myself that I'm only 1 drink away from being right back into a multi bottle of wine per day habit.

Glad you're back with your friends in the nest!

QW

[Guitarista]

Hi Nesters near and not so far,

Okeron, welcome back. After 2.5 years AF a couple of years ago, and breaking that run, I felt devastated! And I suffered for my choice to drink again for a long time....all self inflicted. Be careful not to be too down on yourself for too long friend, as for me, any regretful, shameful thinking was very damaging and led to more drinking, so please take care of your thinking and emotions at this time. What an AF achievement you have though! You can pick up right where you left off and capitalise on your great work previous. Good job on day 3.

Day 18 check in from a grey and windy Oz spring morning.

Best wishes, G.

[Byrdlady]

OkOren, I am so sorry that you broke your AF lifestyle. It is something that all of us must take to heart, as QW so eloquently said, we are all one drink away from the cliff. Thank you for coming back to the place you found success before. I hope you will share your experience on NS's thread, Relapse in Retrospect. That thread is so powerful when someone is considering 'testing the waters'. Settle in, particpate and you will feel right as rain again in no time. Time is our best friend with this one. Byrdie