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    Drilling further down on the notion that a relapse starts well before that fateful drink is taken, I’ve been looking at what was different in the time leading up to taking the recent drink(s). What was going on? Were there any tell-tale signs that might predict or at least provide a warning that a risk of relapse may be lurking?

    What I have come up with so far-

    Lately, I had definitely been less attentive to my interior prayer life. I regularly attend daily Mass, and this was also not happening as frequently. I’m pretty sure there is a spiritual matter here.

    I asked in an earlier post, who the “I” and “myself” parties are in my interior discussions regarding having a drink. I think it’s’ temptation from the devil that plays a role as one of these parties (“I” vs. “myself”). Drinking/drunkenness is definitely sinful. I know this because when I had quit for a year, daily prayer made all the difference; I was never able to quit this long before without this help. Of course the MWO’ers played a role; I always considered the wonderful souls here as guardian angels, looking after each other.

    Comment


      Drilling further down on the notion that a relapse starts well before that fateful drink is taken, I’ve been looking at what was different in the time leading up to taking the recent drink(s). What was going on? Were there any tell-tale signs that might predict or at least provide a warning that a risk of relapse may be lurking?

      What I have come up with so far-

      Lately, I had definitely been less attentive to my interior prayer life. I regularly attend daily Mass, and this was also not happening as frequently. I’m pretty sure there is a spiritual matter here.

      I asked in an earlier post, who the “I” and “myself” parties are in my interior discussions regarding having a drink. I think it’s’ temptation from the devil that plays a role as one of these parties (“I” vs. “myself”). Drinking/drunkenness is definitely sinful. I know this because when I had quit for a year, daily prayer made all the difference; I was never able to quit this long before without this help. Of course the MWO’ers played a role; I always considered the wonderful souls here as guardian angels, looking after each other.

      Comment


        That is very interesting, Oko!

        In my longest quit ever, I also had incorporated a LOT of prayer and attendance at daily mass into my life. I was almost obsessive about it.

        I, too, became less attentive to my spiritual life and routine practices before my relapse.

        I definitely agree that, for me, daily prayer makes all the difference in the peace and strength I have to overcome daily obstacles. I also think that we have many angels looking over us, not only on this site, but in the real world.

        I think it is great that you are giving so much thought to "WHY" you relapsed and that this will be very useful to you as you maintain your sobriety. Thanks for sharing!
        :heartbeat:

        Star:star:

        08-13-15

        I am only one drink away from never being sober again.

        Comment


          Originally posted by okoren1 View Post
          Drilling further down on the notion that a relapse starts well before that fateful drink is taken, I’ve been looking at what was different in the time leading up to taking the recent drink(s). What was going on? Were there any tell-tale signs that might predict or at least provide a warning that a risk of relapse may be lurking?

          What I have come up with so far-

          Lately, I had definitely been less attentive to my interior prayer life. I regularly attend daily Mass, and this was also not happening as frequently. I’m pretty sure there is a spiritual matter here.

          I asked in an earlier post, who the “I” and “myself” parties are in my interior discussions regarding having a drink. I think it’s’ temptation from the devil that plays a role as one of these parties (“I” vs. “myself”). Drinking/drunkenness is definitely sinful. I know this because when I had quit for a year, daily prayer made all the difference; I was never able to quit this long before without this help. Of course the MWO’ers played a role; I always considered the wonderful souls here as guardian angels, looking after each other.
          May I say amen to that! Love your avatar btw!

          Comment


            You know I have always wanted to find some kind of spirituality but nothing ever really clicked. Every now and then when I got nothing else to do I pray on tough days, it seems to help, but more like venting to a friend in a car helps. Not trying to get into any religious debates, but just want anyone reading to know even if you don't strictly believe in God you can still pray and it seems to help.

            Having a tough day, triggers are at an all time high. I am slacking on working out because I slipped a disc and its so damn hot today I just don't feel like it. I'll try and sneak a mini workout in during one of my classes but man I am just not feeling life today. Typical shit, losing students, bitching parents, twin having a tough time with their stuff causing more work stress, physical pain, just don't feel like going to work and teaching today along with all the other crap I have to do.

            On the flip side 60 more pages and I am done with my personal trainer course, just have to take the test and pass it. Gotten a lot of work done on it this week with no exercise. I need to figure out something to do with this two year old during the day workout wise that doesn't hurt my back.

            Comment


              Hey Dutch, sometimes, when I am feeling down like that, I try to ask myself "What can I do to make myself feel better?".

              Sometimes, just taking the time to realize that MY needs and feelings are important enough to care about and to do something about is enough to cause a change to occur.

              It may be something as simple as deciding I just need to chill and read a book or watch a movie (escape from all the drama in my life- that can wait til tomorrow). Or I may treat myself to a healthy drink or meal. I may just take a hike or a car ride.

              Get your mind away from the triggers until you feel better.
              :heartbeat:

              Star:star:

              08-13-15

              I am only one drink away from never being sober again.

              Comment


                Originally posted by okoren1 View Post
                I’m pretty sure there is a spiritual matter here.
                Okoren, I typically avoid saying too much about spirituality here in the Nest because some people are put off by it and others immediately think we're pushing AA principles. BUT...there is no doubt whatsover in my mind that we're in a spiritual battle, struggling against "powers and principalities" that are beyond what we can physically see and touch.

                For starters, if you begin monitoring your thoughts, becoming aware of what you think about from the moment you awaken until you go to bed at night, you'll notice that hundreds -- even thousands of thoughts pass through your mind on a given day. Are they all good thoughts? Do they all agree with your belief system or ethics? If not, then why not? That is, why are you thinking things that don't line up with your beliefs -- things like "Just have that one drink. You can mod now...?" Where might those thoughts originate, if not from you?

                We can win this thing if we learn to choose what we think about. Joyce Meyer's Battlefield of the Mind has a lot of good info about this. 'Highly recommended. At the very least, we need all the help we can get so it doesn't hurt to ask God or the Universe or whatever you believe in for it -- regularly, because our triggers and downfalls occur regularly.
                "If you fell down yesterday, get up today." -- H.G. Wells

                Comment


                  Good evening Nesters,

                  Lots & lots of rain here in my portion of the nest today, better than the blistering heat of late.

                  I've wandered away from church over the years but my beliefs are strong. I have actually been working more or my spirituality since my quit, it helps. If it helps you to pray or to meditate then by all means take a little time each day.

                  Wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

                  Lav
                  AF since 03/26/09
                  NF since 05/19/09
                  Success comes one day at a time :thumbs:

                  Comment


                    Well, Kaiser Permanente's hand sanitizer smells just like the strong vodka I used to schlep down my throat. Most sanitizers smell like alcohol, but theirs was straight from the bottle. The good news is that I thought, "Wow, I actually have poured that acid into my body?". The bad news is that at dinner, the lady next to me had a glass of wine that made me long for it a bit. I told myself, "you know it's not an option, so stop". And mostly I did. I look forward to getting to that point where I don't want alcohol any more.

                    I was just reading last night that spiritual practice - or prayer - or whatever you do or believe is one of the things that has been researched to increase longevity and wellness. In the book "The Secrets of People Who Never Get Sick" by Gene Stone, there are some silly things listed, but there's also some solid research on various practices. It talks about a study on spirituality with "393 people in two groups, one [group] was the object of prayers from strangers, the other received no prayers (the patients did not know to which group they belonged). Results showed that the patients who received no prayers were nearly twice as likely to suffer complications of their disease as those who did."

                    It lists a lot of other studies too. I believe that being in touch with our energies and the energies (or the "higher stuff" we all call something different) is healing - I need to do it more often! Thanks for the reminder Okoren!
                    Kensho

                    Done. Moving on to life.

                    Comment


                      Good Morning, Nesters!
                      As usual, great conversation going on about what is near and dear to all of us: Keeping our quits!

                      Remembering 14 years ago with a heavy heart. Stay strong everyone! We need each other!! It's only Friday, not a ticket to BoozeVille!!! Byrdie
                      Last edited by Byrdlady; September 11, 2015, 01:31 PM.
                      All you gotta do, is get thru this day. AF 1/20/2011
                      Tool Box
                      Newbie's Nest

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                        Lil, I'm like you, I try not talk about God, religion, church, etc. I was born and raised Roman Catholic, faithfully practiced that religion up until I got divorced and then applied for an annulment from my first marriage so that Bubba and I could have our marriage recognized and blessed by God. My application for annulment cost $1200, and was approved at the provincial level, it was then denied at the National level. I appealed, that cost another $500, and I lost the appeal. I was then told I had one final appeal, that was to the Pope, I would have to pay $10,000 up front and possibly more depending on how long the appeal took!

                        I lost all faith in the "church" at that point! It seemed to me it was all about money, not if I believed in God or not. In my heart, God forgave me for my divorce and that was all that mattered to me. I no longer go to church, and I fell away from prayer etc. I think that's when I hit my bottom, no reason to live, nothing seemed to be able to get me out of the bottle so I resigned myself to the fact that I would drink myself to death. God intervened, why, I have no idea, but He did. He has some purpose, some plan for me, of that I'm sure. I still don't go to church, but I pray daily, not just when I feel I need His help and strength, but also to give thanks for what He has given me, a second chance! And this my final quit, is not a struggle, not a battle, it's my last chance to get it right and hopefully help others on their journey.

                        Like Dutch said, you don't have to believe to pray....you don't have to go to church to have faith... I remember a saying that I heard, "Church is not made of bricks and wood, Church is made of flesh and blood" all you have to do is be open to help from a power greater than yourself.....
                        Quitting and staying quit isn't easy, its learning a whole new way of thinking. It's accepting a new way of life, and not just accepting it, embracing it...
                        Worry about tomorrow, tomorrow. Just get through today. Tomorrow will look after itself when it becomes today, because today is all we have to think about.
                        Friendship is not about how many friends you have or who you've known the longest. It's about who walked into your life, said "I'm here for you", and proved it.

                        Comment


                          Morning here on a cloudy day. Had my sick daughter with me the last two days. Glad I could be there for her, but I'm also thankful to have a day to catch up on a few things! Thankful to feel whole, clear and strong. Not succumbing to cravings for two hard weeks has made me feel strong. Feels good to pay attention to what I really NEED, not just what I want.

                          Have a super Friday Everyone!
                          Kensho

                          Done. Moving on to life.

                          Comment


                            Good morning all
                            Quick check in for me.

                            Lots of things going on today as we remeber September 11, 2001. So many lost their lives that day.
                            A number you may see floating around is 343 , this is the number of Firefighters who paid the ultimate sacrifice so that others may live. If you watch any footage, you will hear many high pitch alarm devices in the background. Those are alarms built into a Firefighters SCBA (Air pack) these alarms will activate if the person wearing it is motionless for 30-60 seconds. To this day if I watch videos from that day I have to mute the tv. To this day it hurts my heart....
                            We will never forget

                            Stay Hard my friends
                            Last edited by Matt M.; September 11, 2015, 08:39 AM.
                            AF 08~05~2014


                            There is a 100% chance I can't do this by myself! ~ Me

                            Comment


                              Hey Gang!

                              Checking in here, but have been hit with a totally absurd MAJOR deadline at work this morning and don't even have a minute to read. Will hopefully get back in later today.
                              DAY 30 for me :hugesmile:
                              Love you all and thanks for getting me here!
                              :heartbeat:

                              Star:star:

                              08-13-15

                              I am only one drink away from never being sober again.

                              Comment


                                YEA Starfish!! GREAT work on 30 days!!!!!!
                                Kensho

                                Done. Moving on to life.

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