Newbies Nest

[kherriot]

Thank you so much Liz for your response. Thant means a lot to me. He has his own co. and makes good money, but the company he contracts to is going through union complaints. I just have to wait it out or win the lottery. Thanks for your advice, makes me feel good that someone is reading and understanding.

[kherriot]

Thank ABC he contracts to the telephone co's mainly in AB. Telus has pulled back a lot of work so he is just waiting, driving me nuts and not helping my AF time. I have found that stress is the most worst time for me to have a drink. Really trying hard. Thanks for being there.

[abcowboy]

kher, my son works for Telus in I&R in N.E. Alberta, and told me how contract work was being cut back so now the Telus workers are run off their feet, 3 - 6 week wait on a phone trouble... but Telus gets bigger and bigger....

[kherriot]

Thanks ABC. My hubby works what used to be called 'OUTSIDE PLANT" Telus is run off their feet because the "bean counters" and the "union" are not helping. Thanks abc but I&R is totally different. He is the outside guy, up the pole with, down the man hole, sitting in crap at a cross connect.........etc.... I am sure your son would understand what I am talking about. He is paid 65.00/hour plus traveling plus hotel, so you can imagine what I am up against. Sometimes he does not make it easy for me. Now that he is home he is asking about stupid things like the finances that I have taken care of for the last 18 years but I think he is bored. Oh, give me strength, he is always called when the weather gets cold and some employees wont work in the cold.

[KENSHO]

Hey Kher.... Sorry you're feeling so low. An unhappy spouse is the WORST!! Sounds like it's hard not getting your "you" time as well, having him always there. Just remember that when things feel really bad, they usually don't stay that way. Tomorrow is a new day, and you will have more moments of good to come. Just try to weather this storm without alcohol, and do whatever it takes to make it through tonight. You can do it! Thinking of you!

[daisy45]

Messed up again......really need to get a grip! My kids were away last night....ended up in a neighbours house.....so embarrassed right now. Don't want to see anybody.....

[Guitarista]

Hi Daisy,

It's never too late to be what you might've been. What was the trigger? Triggers have been my focus recently, as in what are they/it, and where do they come from. I have found just identifying and knowing what my triggers are to be a huge help. Now I know what they are for me, I can work on it directly and head on.

Take care of yourself and jump back on the horse my friend. G

[daisy45]

Being home alone.....although just about anything right now. Have to get this done.....Today

[Lavande]

Good Saturday morning Nesters,

Karen, I am sorry you are dealing with a depressed spouse, have been there & done that myself. What saved me was focusing on myself & doing the best thing for me. Sometimes people just need to figure stuff out for themselves. Now is the time to tell yourself that drinking will not help or change his situation - right? Keep telling yourself that until you really believe it & stay busy. Keep your focus on what's good for you.

Daisy, I know I've said this before but nothing changes if nothing changes, right? Aren't you tired of repeating the same old pattern? Please take a leap of faith & jump in the nest with us. Adopting a zero tolerance policy is the only way to save ourselves ::hug:

Wishing everyone a good AF day.

Lav

[daisy45]

I know Lav.....and yet I do it again. I am sick of it and that is why I am coming back to the Newbies.....to get serious

[abcowboy]

Howdy ho everyone, hope everyone got through Friday night okay.... I see some didn't, but they are back and that's what counts...

2 minutes ago, Bubba asked how I made out during the week..... she wasn't talking about work, she was talking about drinking thoughts. I have been alone at the farm all day long this past week working on the shop extension, and being alone used to be a big trigger for me, time to get the buzz and then more to get drunk. I'm not going to lie, there were a few times when I was hard at work under the sun, that the "I wish" crept into my mind. But on further thought, it wasn't about getting the buzz or getting drunk, it was just about the cool, refreshing taste of a cold Budweiser on a hot day. What I did was reach for a Coke or Powerade, said a quick prayer, then got back to work. There will never be a time when I let even one cool refreshing Budweiser jeopardize my new found freedom from alcohol, period, end of discussion.

So daisy, pauly, and all the rest who struggle, I can say all the same things to you again, welcome back, dust yourself off and get back on again, one day at a time, but what's important is what Lav said, nothing changes if nothing changes. It's all in your mind and attitude...when triggers hit, you need to occupy your mind with other thoughts for 7 minutes, don't worry about the whole day, or even the next hour, just get through the next 7 minutes. Phone me, phone a friend, a loved one, anyone, just get through that trigger...take it 7 minutes at a time if you have to, before long the triggers will get fewer and fewer.... you can do it, reaching out for help is a big step in the right direction...

kher, hope things are better this morning. My son does a lot of work outside on the overhead lines and pedestals in all kinds of weather as well. It's not always a glamorous job lol. Missing that kind of income will be tough no doubt, but again as Lav said, you have to think of yourself first :hug:

Have a great day my friends, it's back to being a farmer for me today, 6400 acres of crop still to combine.....

[LilBit]

Daisy, I just wanted to offer you some encouragement. Don't give up! Think about what you'll do differently this time. Maybe visit the toolbox and put together a new plan? We've all been @ Day 1 and it's no fun. But, you can do this. Hugs.

[NoSugar]

Although many frown on using cliches, all languages have them for a reason - they clearly and concisely sum up an important message.

"Take the option off the table" is a good one. At some point, that is what absolutely everyone who has succeeded did. They decided that NO MATTER WHAT happened (good, bad, or indifferent), their response was not going to be to drink.

It doesn't matter what you do "instead". It's good if you have a plan in place because it increases your odds of success. But even if you don't or things go awry, it's easy to remember a cliche --- the option of drinking is off the table. Think of something else, anything else, and do it.

Have a good one, Nesters. :heart: NS

[Byrdlady]

Good afternoon, nesters!
I am neck deep in cake. I am making a bed cake. First try doing a rectangle and its kicking my arse! Having a project like this is a great thing, it certainly keeps my mind off AL!
Daisy, how can we help you? I am asking seriously. Do you want tough love or an easier approach? What will work for you? What has worked in the past? Let us know HOW to help.
Hope everyone has an easy day. Byrdie

[KENSHO]

Howdy Everyone. I have a bit of a headache today. The thing that pops into my head is: Have a drink, it will fix everything. Amazing I can have these thoughts. Once alcohol was tagged in my brain as a "fix" or "cure" (to just about anything), I was a gonner. I know Al won't FIX anything - it will make it worse. But it gets harder to remember the bad as more time that passes without AL. SO, reading back to old posts, checking in here, and having faith. Doing some home projects too. It's unbelievably hard to make design decisions for my own house!

Hi Daisy. Sorry you're struggling. Nestle in.