Newbies Nest

[KatieB]

Newbies Nest

Morning all,

It's good that everyone seems to be having a fun night in the nest whilst i've been asleep! lol.. had a good giggle at some of the posts.. I do love your penguin, coco - Pingu is one of my son's favourite shows! so funny, and cute..
Hi Nora, Mama, Fennel, Mollyka, Mazzie, Lav and Tranq..
It's now Saturday.. I have plans to take my son to the park again today.. and my ex has finally agreed to look after him as I have to work this afternoon.. sometimes I don't want him to look after him at all due to the way he is with me, but he is a good dad.. and I don't have any family out here so I do rely on him to look after him when i have to work on weekends and public holidays (nurses don't get these off like everyone else!),
Here's to a great AF day.. and hopefully, weekend - i've slipped up the last 2 weekends so I hope I can keep away from AL this one!
Katie xxx

[mama bear]

Newbies Nest

Be strong my friend

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Evening Nesters,

I must have worked hard today because I sure am tired now

Wishing everyone a safe & cozy night in the Nest.
Leaving the night light on for the late fly-ins...

Lav

[ChickenNumber3]

Newbies Nest

Okey Dokey!

I was going to try to get back here last night, but as usual things got away from me and I was SOOO tired after a day in the new job trying not to smack my forehead into the PC screen out of frustration!!!!!!!

So I am here now and have just had a nice laugh at the happy banter in the Nest!

As always a big clucking hello to Mum-Lav, Tranq, Hippy,Coco,Mama,Katie,Nora,Running and all others who check in and who I have in my heart (even if I can't retain alot in the old brain).

Hubby just went to the fridge and pulled out a beer and my thoughts turned to a drink, but only for a minute! I find it hard on weekends especially, because he tends to drink then.

For the first time ever I actually admitted my AL problem to my sister and asked if she would be my support person. Basically things have come to a bit of a head in the marriage, and I knew I needed to address my drinking issues again. She was very supportive and we text or email every afternoon at my witching hour,I check in with her...and she knows the 'other relationship issues' I am having, so is very empathic,which I seem to need right now!

Interestingly she said something to me about my reasons for drinking and why I lack control, which I had never considered before and thought perhaps that others might have this same 'trigger'.

Basically my partner drinks, but can moderate very easily (although he used to be a heavy drinker when in the forces). He always tells me I just need to learn 'self-control' and that I can still drink, but I just need to get some will-power!!! (Which tends to make me feel frustrated and guilty and weak).
My sister said, "yes it is easy for him to say that because he is drinking for the pleasure of it! He can stop when he wants. But you are drinking because you are unhappy and are using it to cope with relationship issues which you haven't yet found a way of dealing with effectively. You are not drinking for pleasure, you are self-medicating!!!"
I am lucky to have her support in this!!

Today I am feeling a little fragile and think that I am potentially vulnerable to the idea of a drink...but I won't! I shall go spend some time with my wee chicks and get active.

All the best to the whole Nest!
Chook

[TranqWilly]

Newbies Nest

Hi.

Hey 1967. Hang out in the nest, there won't be any disparaging words. You ask anything and say anything you'd like here. No judgement here.

KB - you're awesome for being strong with you're ex harassing you. Don't give in - you are in control now! Way to go.

Pap - sounds like you have a handful of pet problems there. Good luck on the meds.

Mamab - a vat of spaghetti sounds great. LoL at you and Cocs - funny!

Yep I saw the creepy Tiger commercial. It comes off different after you hear it a few times. I can't imagine why they wanted to produce that. "let's talk about it. Did you learn anything?" Hmmmm. Maybe Tiger needs to hang out in the nest a while.

Hi Molly. Hi Lav - my good pal!

Chooks - sis is right. I've read that same logic from another source. We start-out feeling bad about something and drink to make it better; others start out okay, drink, still okay. Let's get to okay, then stay there without the drink - what do you think? Ok?

Me, I went out for Mexican with an old gf - still behaving though.

Take care all.
tw

[KatieB]

Newbies Nest

Hi All,

Thanks Tranq.. I am feeling much much stronger when dealing with my ex now..
Chook - you are very lucky to have such a lovely supportive sister! Most people have to go to AA to get a supportive person! She is probably right about the self-medicating meaning that's why you cannot stop, that may be the case with your situation.. however, I do think a lot of us on here can argue that we also drank for the "pleasure" - I know I didn't always drink just because I was unhappy.. though when unhappy, I would tend to end up suicidal and worse things happened to me when drunk.. but drinking AL when happy can also lead me to binging! I just don't know when to stop once I have AL in my system.. the tempation to get drunk is too big as it is what I did for so many years.. I think I just got accustomed to the feeling you get when drunk rather than the feeling you get after just one or two!
Moving on.. great day today.. took son to the park, about to start work - Day 6 for me over and out!
Katie xx

[ChickenNumber3]

Newbies Nest

Thanks for the comments Tranq & Katie!

Wow! I am having a real struggle today,mainly this afternoon. Hubby is a bit grumpy and I think this spirals me into the thought pattern of "quick have a drink...so if he gets angry or has a go at me..it rolls off and doesn't hurt"..am feeling very twitchy and angry and .....low in mood! Feel the cravings really strong right now. Have just got myself a diet coke and come online..as I am feeling very vulnerable right now!!! Despite sleeping okay and this being Day 6 AF, I am feeling VERY tired. Is that normal???
Chook

[KatieB]

Newbies Nest

Hi Chook,

Yes.. being tired is something i feel all the time! i think as im getting older i feel more tired than i used to - less stamina! lol.. you have done so well keeping away from AL - when me and my ex-hubs argued I found drinking AL made our arguments worse - especially as he just threw back in my face the fact I had had a drink, so he "won" every fight in this sense.. I was Day 6 too - but ive had a couple of glasses of wine this evening.. feeling stressed out before but ok now.. my son is in bed, and ive had some water.. but well done Chook, you are doing GREAT!! :cheering:
Katie xxx

[Hippy Chick]

Newbies Nest

Hey Chook.
Hope you are hanging in there. Just pop in when you need to.
Hippy

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Morning Nesters,

Chook, take it from me, the original self-medicater, it doesn't help in the long run!
You can deal with the miserable spouse more effectively when you have a clear head. I warned mine last year when I quit that the 'real me' was about to emerge so he'd better straighten up & take care of his own problems!! Life is not perfect now by any means but definitely less stressful! I refuse to continue to abuse myself because HE has behavior issues

Tranq, HC, Katie & everyone here - wishing you a great day!
Think I'm heading out to lunch with my daughter today - nice
Be back later!

Lav

[NoraC]

Newbies Nest

Good morning Nesters.......this is going to be a quick note but I wanted to get the grill open.
Breakfast / lunch / dinner - wherever you may be. :chef:

So, place those orders. Kitchen is open.

[sunshine_gg]

Newbies Nest

Good morning Nestlings!

I'm back - tail between my legs, so to speak. A couple of very successful social situations with one drink and 2 not major, but worrisome incidents afterward - time to come back to what works and what sets me straight again.

Chook, so good to see you back here as well! Lav, Tranq, Mamabear and everyone else - you make the nest such a supportive and fun place for newcomers and *ahem* oldies as well

In a way, it pisses me off (pardon my french) that I STILL have to WORK on this AL thing! Grrummble. I have too many other things to do! Good things! Fun things! Oddly enough though, if I don't deal with the 'AL thing' first - everything else falls apart thereafter. Grrummmble.

As of last night my new horse is bought and paid for - now, someone fix this weather situation, make the grass grow, so I can bring both my monsters home I'm actually very excited... I've started learning a new training method and practice a little with Miss Sophie every morning, but can't wait to really get going when I have both of them here

Speaking of which... gotta get going to feed horses! Have a fabulous day, everyone!

[fennel]

Newbies Nest

ChickenNumber3;835807 wrote: Despite sleeping okay and this being Day 6 AF, I am feeling VERY tired. Is that normal???
Chook

I've found myself occasionally taking some "cat-naps" during the day. Literally "cat-naps" as my kitty-girl joins me. I think it's a result of clearing the A out of our systems.

[fennel]

Newbies Nest

NoraC;835846 wrote: Good morning Nesters.......this is going to be a quick note but I wanted to get the grill open.
Breakfast / lunch / dinner - wherever you may be. :chef:

So, place those orders. Kitchen is open.

Dang, I already had breakfast...pumpernickel rye toast and a goat cheese, tomato, basil scramble....

[dancingon]

Newbies Nest

Breakfast sounds good, Fennel.
Chook, it is such a problem when your drinking has been closely related to relationship problems. Even when you're sober you want to reach for a bottle during the slightest hiccup, and it doesn't help at all. In fact, as Katie says, it can be thrown back at you. I'm having to fight this, at the moment. You hear all these stories men (mostly) tell of how their ex-wives fleeced them when they separated. I'd like to know how they did it, because I doubt I'll come out of this separation with enough to ever buy a house again. I spent Thursday and Friday feeling depressed about that and drinking, but it just made me feel worse, so I'm back on track with a vengeance. Day 2AF and this time no nonsense about trying to moderate - it's not for me. Sunny, I think the key to not having to work so hard is to stop yourself from feeling deprived if you can't drink. You get so much out of being sober that a drink can't do for you.
As for creatures - cats eating flowers?
I had a mouse in my kitchen last two days. I heard it scratching and found mouse poop, so bought some traps. The cats could reach one beside the dishwasher and kept setting it off. I put one in a cupboard and the first day it was upside down but not sprung. The second day, the food had gone, but the trap had not sprung. This morning - success. A fat little mouse with its jaws still clamped on the piece of chocolate fish in the trap! Eeeew.
I hope it hasn't invited the family.