Newbies Nest

[LavenderBlue]

I'd say I definitely changed a lot in my life after getting sober, and continue to do so! I got out of retail and into the job at the animal shelter, and I just finished sending in two articles to two different websites who will be posting them! There will still be more changes coming - I have to find something that pays better than my current position, and as much fun as blogging is I'd like to practice my fiction writing - but I feel confident that I'll b able to handle and even enjoy the changes when they happen.

I also love the fall, I actually spent all of yesterday cleaning and re-arranging my computer room. I don't tend to get into spring cleaning much, but for some reason the fall has always felt like a time for new beginnings and getting a fresh start.

Have a safe night in the Nest, all!

[Dutch1988]

Lil I want to read your book when your done! I love fiction and have thought about writing as well. That sounds tough without alcohol though, anything I ever wrote was while drinking. Let me know how that goes.

Kensho don't get me wrong, I think martial arts is great for kids, I mean I have done it all my life. If it was not for what martial arts taught, belt factory or not, I would not have been the first in my family to make it through my bachelor's or masters in a group of five kids, or make it through starting a business. Everyone gets into martial arts for different reasons, and balance and stability is a great benefit to a lot of them. I'm just being negative, got the grass is greener syndrome, like if I taught something more complicated or more adults I wouldn't be having these problems. Why's your son say he doesn't like it? Where's he train at? Maybe there's something physical out there he would like better, and to be honest kids can slack pretty hard in class and not get as good a workout, especially if the instructors isn't beating them with sticks(something i would never do from a business standpoint =D)

[Pavati]

Hi, All:

Kensho - that flat period is normal. Maybe this time is harder because you know in your heart you won't drink again? Anyway - Google "Pink Cloud Effect." It might help.

I am making a MAJOR career change right now. I love my job but I am taking a big risk to try something new and very different. I have to believe that I wouldn't have had the confidence to take this leap with the ball and chain of alcohol to carry around. Good luck on whatever you decide, Dutch.

Lil - YES! Can't wait to read.

Safe travels, Byrd.

Hi to everyone else. This new career endeavor has me very busy - in a good way.

Night.
Pav

[Byrdlady]

Morning, Nesters!
Hotel sleep! Ugg. Raring to go for my big seminar today! Oraganized Retail Crime! jealous? Eheheh.
Hope veryone has an easy day! Byrdie

[Guitarista]

Morning, Nesters!
Hotel sleep! Ugg. Raring to go for my big seminar today! Oraganized Retail Crime! jealous? Eheheh.
Hope veryone has an easy day! Byrdie

Can you knock off a hotel towel for me Byrdie? I can duplicate it and sell the rest as original Americana.

[LavenderBlue]

Dutch - I can tell you that for me, my writing has gotten much better since I quit drinking. It took some time to adjust, but with my head more in the game I'm writing faster and better, and have a lot more faith in my ability. It's also a lot more fun to experience my creativity sober than stumbling around (figuratively in this case) in my head trying to grab on to it. Even Stephen King has said that needing AL to be creative is a lie that it tells you, and I like to think he knows what he's talking about!

[Starfish1]

No one wants bad days but we need them so we can show ourselves that we don't need to drink to make it through them.
Its amazing how a commitment to the people here can help us through. Maybe we just got so used to letting ourselves down, those promises didn't mean much anymore. After some time AF and learning to like yourself again, you won't want to let that friend down, either :hug:.

Thanks to everyone for their support. As NS says, we need to struggle through tough times, without drinking, to show ourselves it can be done, but, at this point, I find the strength of ALL of YOU most encouraging. I see you struggle through tough times, so I gather the courage to do it too.
And yes, commitment to friends is a very big deal to me and NS just spoke a very revealing truth. I have let myself down so many times that I didn't even value all the commitments I kept making to myself. She is right I have not liked myself or thought enough of myself to honor promises to myself. That is why I kept failing. That is why I lost hope. That must change.
I usually talk a good talk and encourage others to care for themselves but I still fail at doing that for myself. I think that has been a major flaw in my previous failed attempts at sobriety. I see it happening again.
You all have made me realize that if I want to take my sobriety seriously, I will have to stop being so hard on myself and so stressed about every little thing. Sure, I am living through it and I am not drinking, but I need to find some joy in being sober and some pride in my accomplishments. Lot’s of work to be done. Thanks for helping me, friends.

[gingerspice]

Hi all at the nest.
I am one of the many 'Lurkers' that have been reading around mwo for quite a while. After receiving a pm from abc cowboy ,it has spurred me on to come here. I Have been around mwo for years ,with a few months here and there of sober time followed by a gradual rise back to a stupid amount of wine consuming (2 /3 bottles a day) Every time has been a worst progression ,with my poor husband (27years married) through floods of tears told me that he could not watch me kill myself anymore ,and if I didn't stop that it would be the end of the marriage . I have 4 grown up girls who I have caused them more worry than I should. Anyway on the 10th June 2014 was my first AF day, and by the grace of god , and all of you angels here (male and female ) I have stayed that way.It has no been easy at times ,but I have learnt, at times through gritted teeth to 'take the option of the table'( I have a head of Byrdlady Quotes )
I am stuck at home at present with a FHL (big toe )Tendon transplant to my Achilles , and have had more wine thoughts than I want .-I will not drink no matter what -,but it is a testing time.
I just want to thank all of you here for all of your posts ,and all he help and encouragement they have given to me.
Take Care and thanks again x

[KENSHO]

Hi Gingerspice! So glad you spoke up and introduced yourself! Way to GO with your AF success! I can tell you that if you think this has been hard, it only gets harder each time you try to quit. Keep this going!!!

Dutch, the dojo got repetitive and didn't offer enough instruction beyond "just do what I do". He gets bored and lazy pretty easily. But he seems to be interested in sparing!

Pav, thanks I think definitely experienced "pink cloud" my first attempts. This last time I experimented with having "some", I never took it far enough to have terrible hangovers, etc., so I really didn't have that morning after so bad that I exclaimed "never again". I just knew I was headed back in that direction again, so I stopped the forward progress. It IS all more dramatic admitting what I am and that this needs to be the end. I never believed that previously - just wanted to "take a break". Fully understanding leaves me a little bummed - but that's a place to start I guess.

G - See? Stop drinking and the ideas flow... "Americana"...

Lil and LavB - You both give me hope with your statements of functioning even better now, without alcohol. I look forward to that.

Starfish, you are a good friend here. I hope you know that your support and positive energy is contagious

Last night was testing for me. When leaving my son's karate class, I backed up and bumped the car behind me. Because of the angle of my protruding tire cover and their bumper, the small impact left a sizable scuff. SO, desperately wanting to drive away and pretend it didn't happen, I instead left a note. We do what we do, and we have to face the music, no matter how uncomfortable it is. I ended up meeting the family of 5 at their car, and they were awesome about it. She must have sensed my discomfort and sincere apology and she gave me a hug and told me not to worry about it. I drove away and cried. I was still crying when I arrived at home and my kids questioned me - I told the that admitting a mistake is uncomfortable, but we have to take responsibility. And then I felt much better. Hard, but easier than perpetuating a drinking cycle

Today my husband and I meet this therapist. He isn't feeling very well, and woke up saying that this appt. is cutting into his day and stressing him out - that it's bad timing. I told him that I didn't want him to go if it was "just for me", that it was his choice but that I was going. It will not work if he goes for me. He turned it around and asked for the address. It IS inconvenient - the timing, the location, the talking about problems - nothing about it follows his MO of avoiding pain and feeling good. But at least it is clear that HE chose to go. I have decided that trying to "get him to see WHY" I have to stop drinking is pointless. He just needs to know that is my choice and that I hope he will support me. Then I hope to talk about my goals with the sessions, which are simply to communicate better, deal with conflict better. Not making him wrong, nor me right - just that I think we can do it better and I'm not interested in continuing some of our dysfunctional ways of relating.

Anyway! Whew! Sorry for the play by play! I've been telling him I want to do this for 10 years - so it's a fairly monumental day. Wish me luck!!!

And for the love of God, DON'T DRINK TODAY!

[Matt M.]

Quick Check in for me. Going to try and enjoy a much needed two days off, even though my busy work schedule has created many honey do's.....

Welcome Gingerspice! Your AF time and experience can be very helpful!

Kensho you sound good. Hope your therapy session goes well!

About to enter the lunch room of 2nd and 3rd graders for lunch with my son. I'll likely need another check in afterwards...:nutso:

Stay Hardo Weirdos

[KENSHO]

Just flying by to quickly say how frickin' proud of my husband I am. The appointment went exceedingly well. Turns out he IS interested in helping himself and helping us. Also turns out I, myself, am not perfect And a most critical thing happened... I told him I needed to stop drinking altogether - for good - and he offered up support by the spoonful. I mentioned that I worried that he didn't want to be married to a non-drinker, and he acknowledged that it felt different because it is something we always did - but that he fully supported me not drinking.

Accepting that I have a problem that requires quitting - check. Belonging to a network of great people who have the same goals - check. Making those closest to me aware of my decision and intentions - check. Researching the best possible strategies to succeed and beginning to employ them (nutrition, supplements, mindfulness, exercise) - check. Really, truly and totally believing there is no place in my life for this poison for a minute longer - CHECK. Now all I have to do is get that tattoo

Seriously, I know its not that simple and there will be hard times, but I feel well on my way. Thank you all for your part in that!!

[Dutch1988]

Welcome gingerspice, impressed you made it a year plus under your belt without posting. I lurked for awhile but never made a serious effort until I got involved, it's awesome to hear people benefit without even posting as much.

Kensho I am happy for you and your husband. My wife being supportive of me quitting has played a powerful role in me not picking it back up. That support isn't a must but it sure makes life easier. I'll be happy to hear where things go from here for you.

So I went to a workout this morning with my kempo/Kung fu instructor and I have to say the guy is crazy skilled. I listen to one podcast by joe rogan and it makes me question my art and if it is truly effective for fighting, and I have a bad habit of believing whatever the last person told me. I told him some of the things on my mind and he definitely put my mind to rest in terms of making this system effective for me. He also reminded me that you can lead a horse to water and can't make them drink. I can bust my balls trying to teach these kids and the few adults I have but there are only going to be a few guys that take it beyond a fun hobby that keeps them active and healthy. Just one more example of me sweating the small stuff on a Tuesday.

I running a test today and generally speaking it isn't my favorite thing to do. My brother has been dropping the ball agai. At work, which is a pain in the ass running a partnership. I basically work harder so we can both still get paid the same. I think about drinking everyday again, basically if I am posting you know I am fighting cravings. But I come and I read and I remind myself that life has been better.

[Starfish1]

Welcome to our little nest, Gnger, and Congrats on your long-term sobriety! That's wonderful, and I am happy you have been getting support from MWO. It sure makes a difference! We have some wonderful people here. I am sorry you are not feeling well these days, but hang in there and you will be feeling better in no time and have even more sober time under your belt. It just gets better and better, as I'm sure you have heard.
Kensho, thanks so much for your complimentary words. Many times, I don't feel like I am being very optimistic at all, and I really don't like to complain, but I do see the value, this time in airing my sad times and thoughts as well as my good ones. It helps me "vent" and I think it shows everyone else that it's not always smooth sailing around these parts. I do believe it gets better and better though, like I just said (LOL)! Also, I am SO HAPPY to hear that you and your husband had a good and productive meeting. You are doing all the right things and I am so proud of you!
Hey Dutch! You are sounding good too! You are working through issues day by day and showing the rest of us how it is done. Thank you!
Hiya Matt! How was lunch? Did you get a carton of chocolate milk with yours?
I wanted to share with everyone, that I am really proud of myself. Since I told you all that I realize that I need to be nicer to myself, I forced myself to pry away from my critical deadline today (during lunch time) and took a nice long walk in a beautiful butterfly garden near my office. I thoroughly enjoyed it and made a point of trying to be "in the moment". I noticed all of the beautiful, vibrant colors of the flowers, I enjoyed to sound of the water fountains and seeing the butterflies. Lots of fun. Thanks for listening!

[Guitarista]

Nice one Kensho. All the best.

Yo Ginger spice!

Beautiful stuff Starfish. I had a similar moment yesterday on my run. The sun was a shining and I found a nice spot on some grass out of the wind to do some stretching and cool down. Just being present and appreciating nature and my AF efforts. The joy. Joy is a state I go for now. I am a stress free, AL free zone. No stress, no grog, Not negotiable. Feeling that AF power on day 27.

Have a bewdy Nesters.

[Byrdlady]

Had a great conference today. Law enforcement and retailers working together, it's a beautiful thing. None of my customers attended, thats a real shame, I learned a lot. I left the hotel at lunchtime and there were about 25 police cars parked in the front lot, it looked like a RAID. If there were any guests who were fleeing the law, they picked the wrong hotel! Mr G, I will NOT be stealing the towels this trip! Maybe next time!! This place is so well protected I may not even take the little soaps!

Ginger, thank you for the shout out. Im so glad my cliches didnt fall on deaf ears! I have become a bit sensitive about using them! Congrats on your sober time!!! It is 1000 times EASIER to keep it going than to start over. That is from the voice of bitter experience.

Kensho, great to hear of your progress! Im so glad that things went better than you expected. Getting sober is a lot like that, too. It is a lot better than I ever expected, and keeps getting better! Keep up the great work!

Star, I agree with the others, you are such a shining force around here....kinda like a STAR!

Lil Bit, sign me up for a copy of your sci-fi thriller! Congrats on the new dimension you are entering!

Pav, exciting news about the possible career move!
Dutch, a guy I used to work with used to say 'You are only limited by your lack of imagination'. I used to get irritated at that, but it has turned out to be very true. Many times if you can dream it, you can do it!

Hope everyone has a wonderful night....Im settling in to watch the debates! No AL in sight! Byrdie