Newbies Nest

[abcowboy]

Email sent, thanks Birdie!

[Lavande]

Good evening Nesters,

Hope everyone had a good AF day, I did
I'm in my shop getting a little pre-holiday crat work done. Those pesky holidays will be here before we know it, ha ha!

Is it true that we haven't had any new members in two month? Geez!
I hope the site gets a tune up pronto.

Have a safe night in the nest everyone & stay grateful.

Lav

[Byrdlady]

I hope so too, Lav. What a shame, MWO has sure been a lifesaver to me. Byrdie

[kherriot]

Hi Nesters, just checking in tonight. Have been extremely busy at work and things are kind of screwed up. My boss (if you want to call her that because I am contract) Is ready to lay down and just cry. Losts of problems an she just can't afford me. I dropped my price to less than half just to help her out and I get all my lunches free, if I am working or not. Oh well her staff is stealing from her and there is "trouble in Denmark" as she says. I am just trying to help her out the best I can. She is a wonderful lady but I KNOW the problem is "drugs" and live from pay cheque to half of next pay cheque. That is the problem working in a rural community that is basically making their income during the "tourist season" Just barely make enough to stay open during the off season.

I do read and check in but just find myself overwhelmed right now. Hope all is well, I will always treasure the support that all the nesters give me.

Have a great night.
K

[KENSHO]

Where is everyone? Had a fun, productive day. It's getting easier to pass those AL thoughts by, though they come out if the blue at times. Before at this point I didn't know if I could somehow moderate (I would have if I read more of the toolbox and relapse threads). But now I know that any alcohol would send me back into wanting and needing. No thank you!

[Pavati]

Hi, All:

Checking in quickly - really just a lot going on these days at work. Home late, homework with the kids, and now I am very tired and heading to bed. NO thoughts of drinking - so much to do and so little time.

Happy Birthday, Kensho! Way to go all the 30 day milestones. Usually we ask for a speech around here on such a momentous occasion - Mr. G's was short and sweet. Anyone else?

Is it true no one new has come? I saw names that are new to me - are they just people who don't post much? Wow. That would stink.

I am out of town for three days and likely away from much reading. I'll try to fly in with a post to say hi.

xo
Pav

[All done drinking]

So I went to a bar last night - 2nd story bar with a treetop atmosphere. Very scenic with a tree in the middle of the room. I ordered a wine. Tasted really good but then I craved another. That awful old cravng experience. The 2nd one made me regret that I had done it. Why in the world had I had the first one to begin with? I didn't feel good at all, just remorse, shame, and then regret. Then I started to panic at the thought that I would have to be honest and post the fact that I was back to day 1. I started to struggle with that thought. Should I lie? It actually occurred to me. But then I knew the zest in posting another day would not be the same if I were lying. I was debating, and worrying about it, bothered I had to go back to day one and was tossing and turning. Wait a minute...I was tossing and turning, and tossing and turning...and then I woke up. THANK GOODNESS. I woke up! I experienced my first drinking dream...and I didn't like it. Was so glad to post another day, almost 70 and proud of it. No day 1 today. I am simply All Done Drinking and tacking on another non drinking day to the roster tonight. :welldone:

Addy~ :love:

[Dutch1988]

You scared the shit out of my Addy, jeez

[Eloise]

Sounds good Dutch!
I still struggle with anxiety, truth be told, I always have so no surprise it hasn't magically disappeared.

I am suddenly quite busy with art and I am taking a drawing class which is great. Really getting me back on track, but tricky to juggle. I am managing.
No fantasy thoughts about drinking, thank god.
Anxiety is basically my big struggle just now. I am listening to a meditation recording for anxiety at night.
Noticeably I have not been spending so much time w/Mozart and he really does calm me down. I hope to find a bit more of a balance in my mind, working on it.

[Lavande]

Good Thursday morning Nesters!

Eloise, anxiety has been a lifelong problem for me too. I really don't remember ever living without some degree of anxiety.
Quitting drinking & smoking helped a lot, supplementing with good quality herbals has helped a lot too. Mindfulness & taking a few moments to bring your attention to your breathing helps a lot. I can now center myself with three, slow deep breaths - works like magic

Addy, the drinking dreams are frightening but serve a purpose, ha ha!!

Wishing everyone a great AF day ahead!

Lav

[Byrdlady]

Good Morning, Nesters!
Addy, I'm with Dutch, I was just SICK as I was reading your post....I was so relieved to hear it was a dream. I have those realistic dreams sometimes, too, and I am always so dam happy that I didn't blow my quit. They are like getting a second chance without having to redo all the work!
Been busy this week, it's the end of our fiscal year and I'm dialing for dollars. If you ever expressed the slightest interest in my product, then you've probably heard from me this week. I always make time to check in with The MotherShip (MWO) for support. Priorities! My quit is #1 and I take care of it first and all the rest comes after.
Hope everyone has an easy day, Byrdie

[Mr Vervill]

Jeez, Addy, you had us all scared!

[abcowboy]

I concur Mr V!!

[All done drinking]

You scared the shit out of my Addy, jeez

Haha Dutch and everyone else who shuddered like I did when I woke up! :happy2: It was SO real and a subconscious reminder of how we can so easily slip if we don't remain vigilant. Let's keep posting and sharing and "Keep coming back" as they say in AA.

Addy

[KENSHO]

Wow Addy - thanks for that little scare!

My 30-day thoughts....

Things turned around for me when I stopped separating myself from everyone else here (thinking I couldn't possibly be as bad as others), and when I learned more about alcohol addiction/abuse. Because I constantly made up reasons why I didn't fit in here (didn't drink as MUCH... as EARLY... or blackout...), and because I had no real understanding about the science behind addiction, I didn't believe I was in the category of needing to stop completely.

After trying to moderate (at first successfully - but then returning to old habits), and after listening to an audio book given to me by a friend - and listening to some very wise people here, I realized that I came to this site for a reason: I am an alcohol addict. The science behind alcohol and the brain states that once the switch is triggered for this addiction, it never goes away. It can be several weeks or several years, but we will always return to wanting, needing, longing for alcohol once we drink. We will lie for it and forget who we are for it.

So for me, I needed these things to get on the right track:

1. Acceptance of the fact that I am addicted to an addictive substance - and the only way to break the cycle is to stop using it.

2. Understanding that it is OK to be an addict, and that it doesn't mean I am a dirty, smelly, loser. Being an addict is not my fault, but it IS my responsibility. Also understanding that there are plenty of people JUST like me - successful, holding down good jobs, relating to society fairly normally, living in decent environments, etc. (thanks NS!)

3. Listening to what successful people are saying here. I heard the words a million times: "You ARE one of us...", "We are the SAME"... but I didn't believe it.

4. DON'T GIVE UP! Don't let pride keep you from starting over, admitting you screwed up. Keep looking toward the prize: A life NOT struggling with alcohol. If you came here, its because you were struggling. The only to stop is to stop drinking. Period.

Thanks to everyone here, for your kindness, support and patience. I owe so much to this place.