Newbies Nest

[gingerspice]

Good afternoon lovely weather here clear skies and lots of sun .
Had a day out with youngest daughter to see Eldest daughter and grandchildren - they are all growing up so fast. Elder Daughter had to get the special diet for husband sorted . He is very disciplined- he does collision muay thai (I think it is a bit of kickboxing and boxing ). He does personal training mainly teaching bodybuilding and is always on a special diet. It is difficult to get it all sorted for him,+ all meat has to be halal - she loves to cook, but as his diet is so restrictive he cant eat most of it we always get spoilt as she cooks for us when we go round - I think ive gained a few pounds !!
Good day today feeling quite positive
Welcome Londoner , I live in Bedfordshire - are you in central London ?
Off to cook dinner for rest of family x

[Quit wining]

Good morning fellow nesters.

Since joining MWO a few months ago, I've seen many topics discussed but not this one.

Over the years I know that I operated motor vehicles - car & boat - when I was likely over the allowable blood alcohol limit. I'm sure I'm not the only one here who has done the same. I was fortunate in not hurting anyone or causing an accident.

Over the weekend, near Toronto, a young man, impaired and apparently twice the legal limit, T-boned a minivan. The driver of the minivan was killed. His wife injured. Their three grandchildren, all under 10, were also killed.

The young man was not hurt.

Think about the lives impacted by this. A wife lost her husband and grandkids. A couple lost their children and her Dad.

The lawyer hired by the young man asked the public to understand his client is going through a difficult time. The young man comes from a monied family. It will be interesting to see how that impacts on the legal process.

Oh yeah, the young man was to be married in a few weeks. His fiance's life has certainly been impacted.

I've seen lots of discussion about getting AL off the table and kicked to the curb where the b**tard deserves to be.

Here's one more reason to be done with it.

QW

[Dutch1988]

That's progress Londoner, bouncing back is way better than staying on your back. Stick with it.

After reading Lilbit's post yesterday I decided to start reacing Viktor Frankl's Man's Search for Meaning. The book is about surviving at the concentration camps during WW2 and what life was like. I am convinced I have simply adopted a negative mindset and think of myself as some kind of victim of life. I am going to get rid of this, permanently, starting with posting on here. Originally I would complain on here about my day to day problems because I didn't really want to talk about them in my life, and I was convinced my negative attitude came from wanting a drink and not getting to. Now I know I was a negative, low self esteem person long before I started drinking. Reading about this man's life, and the happiness seeing the sunrise, or imagining conversations with his wife gave him such strong feelings of love and happiness, even in such horrible conditions, definitely has changed my perspective of the meaning of life. As far as i am concerned, as long as I wake up in a bed, with a house, and have food, things are going fucking amazing from now on. I am not going to focus anymore on my challenges in life, and I sure as heck am not going to complain on here. i am going to give it thirty days and see the impact it has on my thinking.

Received my blood work from the doctor and I am borderline anemic, I used to worry about this cutting into my alcohol, as I have had a low blood count in the past. now, I think it might be the green tea I guzzle with every meal. I stopped drinking it, and probably will just enjoy some when company comes over or at night. How nice to not crave something like tea during the day, dreading having to give it up like alcohol. Here I was worried I was getting addicted to it, now I think I just really just enjoyed tea haha

BJJ yesterday I got my butt handed to me by a wrestler who only had 5 classes under his belt. I am glad he did it as I went home immediately and googled counters to everything he did, and plan to seek revenge today if I see him. Reminding myself this is the kind of person I am, i don't linger on getting beat by someone based on their rank, all I care about is making sure I get better, I don't have time to care about anything else.

Today I go back to work at my martial arts school, where I teach kids how to defend themselves and strengthen their mental fortitude, not work like a slave for some nazi concentration camp, I have to be grateful for that. I can do so much more with my life thanks to the choices I have made and the sacrifices my parents and others have made for me, I must make sure I seize the day.

[KENSHO]

Dutch, LIKE, LIKE, LIKE!!!!

[Starfish1]

Wow, Dutch! What a great post! I LIKE LIKE LIKE it to. I think I will start reading that book!

Londoner, I am glad you came back. I missed you on roll call over the weekend.

Lav B, I want to personally thank you for taking care of all those precious animals. I sometimes think of volunteering at an animal shelter, but I get sad every time I visit one, just seeing all the homeless animals. I need to get over myself and see that at least the animals at the shelter are well taken care of (by amazing people like you!)

KENSHO, you sound great! I hope your ear gets better.

I am doing well in the abstinence department (knock on wood). Not even many thoughts or cravings. As I told a friend, I have worked hard over the past (almost) 6 weeks to replace bad habits with good ones. I can see a difference in myself and I like what I see. Other than that, I have been feeling a little under the weather for the past week. Unfortunately, I suspect complications from a tick bite I received on one of my "sober" nature walks several weeks ago. I hope I feel better soon. Also, I have been super busy (both at work and at home). Busy is good, I tell myself.

Have a great afternoon, all. Love you!:hug:

[LavenderBlue]

Starfish - I never volunteered for about the same reason, seeing the homeless animals made me so sad. It was hard to even go in to adopt since I could only take one home. I'm not sure when or how that changed, but it seems like now I'm able to see it more as being lucky enough to care for them while they're waiting for a new home. I can't take all of them home, but I can make sure they have some love while they wait, and it feels really special to be a part of their lives like that. So thank you so much for your kind words, but I hope you don't feel too bad about it being a hard thing for you. Even thinking about it is really wonderful! And if you want to help out other ways, I know my shelter at least will totally take even cheap donations like old towels or bleach, you could maybe call or email yours and see if there are other ways you can help?

[Starfish1]

Yeah, thanks, LavB. I have helped by giving donations, but, like you, I have a hard time going to shop for an adoptee bc I feel so badly for all the others. At least the dogs I have are strays, so at least I am giving them a good life.

Here is one of my favorite stories. I have shared it before, but it's a good time to share again, I think.
The Starfish Story A young man is walking along the ocean and sees a beach on which thousands and thousands of starfish have washed ashore. Further along he sees an old man, walking slowly and stooping often, picking up one starfish after another and tossing each one gently into the ocean. “Why are you throwing starfish into the ocean?,” he asks. “Because the sun is up and the tide is going out and if I don’t throw them further in they will die.” “But, old man, don’t you realize there are miles and miles of beach and starfish all along it! You can’t possibly save them all, you can’t even save one-tenth of them. In fact, even if you work all day, your efforts won’t make any difference at all.” The old man listened calmly and then bent down to pick up another starfish and threw it into the sea. “It made a difference to that one.”:star:

[LilBit]

Yay, Dutch! You are so far ahead of the game, viewing things this way at your young age, that I see an amazing life ahead of you. I wish I could have known and embraced the principles you mentioned much earlier on, and would not have wasted a lot of precious time and energy for myself and others. Viktor Frankl is a great example of what perspective can do for a human being. "As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he." (Proverbs)

Also, I hope you'll continue to talk about any problems or hardships, here, and hope I didn't dissuade you from doing so. Your quit buddies (including me) are here to listen to it all -- good, bad or indifferent -- and you don't have to come across as all Skittle-pooping unicorns if that's not the way you feel.

[Byrdlady]

Amen, LilBit.....talking it out does amazing things, it gets it out of our heads AND we have some good listeners with whom to bounce ideas around. Also, writing it here gives you documentation of how far you've come. In 5 years you can look back and see where you were.....It's neat to see how much we grow! B

[Guitarista]

Talk about growth. I'm growing I tells ya's. Growing and feeling a forward momentum each day I leave the booze further behind.

Love it Dutch. Go for it!

Right behind you Starfish hitting 40 here on this Wednesday morning. Thanks for that beaut story. True that.

Have a bewdy out there y'all.

[Matt M.]

Good evening from Tejas

Out enjoying a nice evening watching my little one play his baseball game.

I was asked by a friend, who has been struggling with this thing we have, he asked me what was it about this time around that helped me "get it". Initially I didn't have a definitive answer.
I pondered on this question and I realized.
It all comes down to being just "compliant" vs actual full blown surrender.
In past attempts, my initial few days or months I was convinced I was done for good, yet after time the drink thoughts returned and I would begin to struggle with the finality of never drinking, holding on to the possibility of moderating, this turned into just getting by or just being compliant, to keep my wife or whomever else off my Ass. Everytime this happened I eventually drank, EVERY time.

Fast forward to about a year ago, I didn't make a grand announcement, but over time I began to see alcohol for what it really is and even if I didn't have a problem why would I want to poison myself? I surrendered to Alcohol, I surrendered the belief that I will never be able to drink "normally" ever again.
Am I powerless over alcohol? That word is often debated.
Without support I know I'm powerless over that next drink. We have an uncanny ability to forget our misery, -with that alone tells me I am powerless over my AL brain, unless I guard it. This time is different for me because I have surrendered all. Though few and far between these days, if I have a thought of drink, immediately I play that drink out for the next 24 hrs and it's gone. I now do this as natural as breathing.
If your struggling, new or old ask yourself are you just being compliant or have you completely surrendered?

Stay hard sickos!

[Lavande]

Good evening Nesters,

Glad to see the positive, happy posts from everyone

It's the calm before the storm here - Byrdie is sending her rain up into my territory, ha ha! Looks like an all day & all night event starting soon plus there's a hurricane forming that will travel up the east coast this weekend - swell.

Stay on your plan everyone, have no regrets!!!
Have a safe night in the nest too.

Lav

[kherriot]

My twin is going through hard times right now, manic ex hubby still creating problems, she has health issues, my hubby not working still, my boss is getting overwhelmed because her boy friend is home for 2 weeks and is trying to get all of her attention and she can't spare the time right now. Another payday coming up so will be in on Thursday, if I am not called in before. Seems like all is going down hill, but I am staying strong. I figure with all the crap that is going on someone will have to be there to keep things all together. Haven't been posting but have been reading every chance I get and liking posts. Looking forward to baby sitting the grand kids in November so if I am not here I can't be called on to "fix things". Just had a great steak, seafood, baked potato dinner, hubby cooked on the BBQ. Things between us are going great despite all the crap. Just checking in. Have a good nite all.

[Guitarista]

Hang in there Karen. Have a great night also. Take care. G

[Pavati]

Hi, Everyone:

Fighting with my son about homework - again. Sigh. I really miss summer. We all get along so much better. Makes me think - what the heck are we doing with these kids that school is such torture. I wish I could send him to a different type of school that would honor who he is and not make him sit and comply with "work" and getting points. But I digress.

Excellent post, Dutch. Like x 3, too. I would agree that skittle pooping unicorns aren't all we're here for, too.

Drunk driving scares the crap out of me. It can all be gone in a blink.

I am having an existential crisis about where to live, what to do, who I am - all without trying to drown these thoughts in alcohol. I put my hiking shoes on and got outside for a bit, and I will talk things through with my husband. I will get THROUGH rather than go around these ideas/thoughts/feelings. When I pass the liquor cabinet when I am in a mood like this, I sometimes DO still have a fleeting thought about how easy I could clear my mind with a touch of bourbon. But it is fleeting - I know that the fix would be temporary and would only result in worse thoughts later.

Off to bed. Good night. Stay strong.

Pav

PS - Byrdie - is it true that there are no new members? I haven't seen anyone new in the nest in a while. Any ideas what is going on?