Newbies Nest

[LostSoul33]

Good Morning Nesters,

I am grateful to be alive, awake, aware, attentive, available, accepting in this incarnation right here, right Now, present, patient, peaceful, at this point of my karmic cycle and spiritual development. I am grateful for the interplay of light and shadow.

For the light in your eyes and the beauty in your soul. For reflections inner and outer. For growth, transformation and healing. For the healing power of touch, the healing power of listening, the healing power of patience, the healing power of Love.

That Love, not time, heals all wounds. I am grateful for being sentient and sensitive, for nature and nurture, for Grace and gratitude, for Love and Light, laughter and levity, compassion and kindness, blessings and bliss, I am grateful for being kind, gentle and Loving with myself and others... for tender concern and generosity of spirit, for Loving acceptance and compassionate awareness. We are all doing the best we can from where we are with what we've got.

I am grateful for my life perfect precisely as it is ... and with vast room for change, growth, transformation and healing, that I have a practice that leads to practice, that the obstacle is the path.

Before enlightenment: chop wood, carry water. After enlightenment: chop wood, carry water. Fall down seven times, get up eight.

That there is no "right" and "wrong" nor "good" and "bad." There are only lessons. "Like" and "dislike", "me" and "you", "wanting" and "rejecting" only lead to suffering. There is an infinite and inexhaustible Source of Love available to Us, if we make ourselves available to it.

I am grateful for surrendering my illusion of control, surrendering my fear, anger worry, self-pity. Surrendering trying to figure "it" out, whatever "it" may be. Breathing a little deeper, pausing a little longer, judging less, fearing less, complaining less, and Loving more.

I am grateful for expanding my faith and trust, my Loving acceptance and compassionate awareness just a little wider. For talking less and listening more. I will become quiet enough to hear the truth whispering in my heart. I will live with all that is "unresolved" and trust the unfolding of the Universe.

I will fear less and trust more; I will judge less and Love more; I will whine less and breathe more; I will take less and give more; I will know less and understand more; I will posses less and appreciate more; I will complain less and help more; I will talk less and listen more; I will destroy less and create more; I will criticize less and compliment more; I will reject less and accept more; I will do less and accomplish more; I will compete less and collaborate more; I will think less and Be more; I will react less and respond more; I will speak less and say more; I will blame less and resolve more; I will resist less and harmonize more; I will have the courage to live authentically and unapologetically. I will be kind, gentle and Loving with myself and others. I will look for Love in me so I can see Love in you.

No matter what I will give myself a break and be kind and compassionate, gentle and generous, patient and peaceful, unconditionally Loving to myself and others!

I am so grateful for you! Thank you for letting me share these lists with you. You make my heart smile! I am grateful for you being you precisely as you are, me being me precisely as I am, Us being Us precisely as we are.

One Love. One Heart. One Mind.

Thank you.

Have a wonder-full day!

PS - Hi gingerspice, Lavande, NoSugar, abcowboy, Byrdie, Starfish1, KENSHO, All Done Drinking, sothankful & to everyone else in the nest

[sothankful]

Hello, today is Friday one of my most give in to the booze day..I know all my boozer buddy's will be out tonight. My mind is saying come on one more time, but I'm not going to give in to the voice that's says you will have so much fun letting loose getting loud a lie, it's nothing like that..it bad hangover tomorrow, it's what did I do? Waking up in a panic did call or text or even Facebook something stupid ? Eating all the next day to comfort myself because I taken in so much AL that my poor body can't handle.. The feeling scard saying to myself no more I really mean this time ..well for this Friday I am saying NO instead I'm going to dinner with my husband and then coming home to my wonderful little pups... Thank you all for the kind words and such wonderful encouragement.. One day at time right ? I will just handle today..

[Starfish1]

Sounds like you got the idea, Sothankful! Just keep thinking those thoughts. Al is a lying, cheating, soul-stealing blankety blank. Very sneaky too. Al wants you to die. No joke. Don't let him win.

Lost Soul. I'm with whoever said it yesterday. It sounds like you WERE lost, but now are found. That was a beautiful post! I need one of those LIKE, LIKE, LIKE buttons for that one!

Stay strong everyone!

[LavenderBlue]

A late but sincere welcome to new and returning faces! Others have already nailed what made a difference for me in this quit - having a plan and taking the option completely off the table. It means that when my AL brain wants to cajole (or threaten!) me I don't have to be strong enough to win an argument, I only have to hold on to that "no" until the craving is over.

Also sorry I've been quiet! I had some major computer issues, but things should be fixed now. Had it gone on longer I'd have found another way though, and I have still been reading! time to catch up on the things I did miss!

[Lavande]

Good evening Nesters from a very soggy portion of the nest, ugh!
All of the cold rain & wind is from some storm system not related to the hurricane which is apparently turning out to sea. So I guess that's good news, LOL

Sounds like there's a bunch of happy AF nesters here - that's just great
In another 5 months I will be celebrating 7 years AF & I have no doubts that day will come. Life is much, much better without AL! You all can do it too if that's what you want!!!

Wishing everyone a safe & cozy night in the nest!

Lav

[LostSoul33]

Hi all,
Checking in again, and I have to say that I am quite envious of everyone and how well they're doing. As mentioned, I'm on day 4 and am barely surviving. I'm also very depressed so this quit is even more difficult-- being sober and realizing how much I've screwed up is leaving me so sad and I'm especially feeling lonely. Been passing most of my time in bars, my "friends" are bartenders and drunks. Without any of that, this week has been very, very quiet. I don't miss it, of course, but I don't know what to do with myself. I am finding myself circling liquor stores and obsessing over going to get a drink. I'm so lost and alone.
Also, didn't notice much activity on here all day and was desperately looking to interact. Does anyone know if there is another group that is more active? I'm still in the uneasy stage, and I know I have to get through this... but I'm grasping at straws here and afraid I don't have the willpower to do this, well I know I can't do it on my own. I need support. I need help.

[available]

Hi LS, PM me if you need to, im around. Im in Australia so its still daytime here. The positive aspect of you circling liquor stores is that you have not stopped to buy any. I used to come home and have a shower and put on my pjs as then i didnt want to get re-dressed again. I watched so many movies about alcoholics and youtube videos. You do have the willpower you are showing already that you have what it takes. As you realise each time gets harder. Its not easy there are so many tv shows with happy drinkers, the problem was we are not one of them. Your post bought back memories of when i stopped and it was hell on wheels in the early days, it was like ever nerve ending was begging me to get al and i fought within myself 24/7. The best day for me was when i got home from work and didnt have that 5pm urge for a drink, then i knew i was making progress.

[LostSoul33]

Thank you, Ava. I'm heading to bed right now. I appreciate your words and will send you a message tomorrow.

[LilBit]

Hi Lost Soul. I check in here, at least once daily and read, even when I don't post. Maybe I'm mistaken, but I believe others may do the same. So even though we don't always appear visible, think of us as the Munchkins in the Wizard of Oz, ready to pop our heads up at almost any time. You're not alone. I'm sorry for what you're going through and, as Ava said, those early days just call for sticking with it and using absolutely everything at your disposal to get through it without drinking. You can do this!

Welcome to Sothankful. It's great to have you here. Pull up a twig!

Hugs to Karen, thinking of you. :hug:

Byrdie, have your feet grown webs between the toes from all the rain? My goodness. I hope you're OK.

Pav, how's the homework saga going? I remember those days, well. Parenting is not for the faint-hearted.

I decorated my front porch for Halloween yesterday. It's really so much easier and more enjoyable when you're not tottering on the corner of an unstable chair, hanging plugged-in candy corn lights while already schnookered with a third glass of wine in your hand.

My-guardian-angel.jpg

[paulywogg]

Hi Lost Soul,just wanted to add that the site tends to be kinda slow on the weekend, people out doing stuff I guess,I'm usually around talking to myself somewhere haha,don't lose hope and welcome back

[Lavande]

Good morning Nesters,

Still chilly & damp here - oh well!

LostSoul, I think this thread is one of the more active threads. People will post when they have a free moment. Jobs, family responsibilities & all that sometimes get in the way. Have you visited the Tool box yet? Take some time to go thru that treasure chest & gather some great ideas for your plan. See what others have done to get thru thru the first few days. Treat yourself with loving compassion :hug:

Hello to all & wishing everyone a good AF Saturday!

Lav

[All done drinking]

Hi LostSoul,
New messages pop up on my phone so if you had posted something I would have seen it and probably would have had time to have replied so keep that in mind too. You are never as alone as you feel.

Also, keep this in mind. Think about fake book...er...facebook. LOL! People are always posting the happy, happy perfect life. One can look at it and get depressed! When folks are doing pretty good or maybe really well, it is so much easier to post. When depressed, a lot easier for everyone to hide out. Some even feel they'll bring others down so they don't post but we really want folks to bring the good and the bad, whatever they need to do to stay strong.

I have actually been having a very hard time this quit as well. I quit many years ago as a co-dependency counselor wouldn't work with me until I addressed MY alcohol problems. What problems I thought? I'll show her. So, I went to AA for 7 years and it was the easiest quit EVER. I don't recall having any problems but I was a lot younger then and it was easier to make new non-al friends, etc. Now I am older, established in my life, and people my age have settled into life with little time for people outside of their immediate family of kids, grandkids, etc. Their friends are the folks they've known when kids were little and everybody grew up and they don't have time for new ones. The sad point I am making is my best friend (has been like a sister to me) has not seen me ever since I quit drinking. You see, she is an alcoholic too, but her problems are much more severe than mine were. She would go through full blown DT's if she quit and she has no desire to quit. She knows she has a problem but she doesn't care. So I am very threatening to her. What does she do with this friendship when it doesn't revolve around drinking? What do we truly have in common? Sometimes quitting can be very difficult for the person recovering.

I have also has been the big social director. Get togethers with friends always seem to be initiated by me and one of the big desires for me to go out was for the excuse to drink wine. I am not so enthusiastic to go out now, I would rather stay home, prepare organic and healthy meals, and not be tempted looking at beautiful wine glasses on other tables that I can no longer have. And yes, I go through those moments of feeling denied and sad that I cannot and will not ever be a social drinker. I am simply a person with a drinking problem. Faulty shut off valve. Vampire effect (often) when I just have one and CRAVE that 2nd and white knuckle not to have the third. So, it can be hard, depressing, frustrating, etc. I am under 100 days so I haven't gotten to the stage of being able to not think about it yet. I know people can get there where it simply doesn't matter anymore and one knows they are finally beyond the cravings and can simply say "I don't drink" and MEAN it from the bottom of their heart, but not me yet. So, I am really struggling too at times with feeling friendless in the real world and alone (many times) in this quit.

The positive aspect. We are bonded here with this mutual disease. You will make wonderful friends here and hear amazing and heartfelt stories. And you will get a natural high when someone's story resonates so closely to your own. You will feel a magical connection in knowing that someone really "gets" you. Keep circling the old haunts if you must. Just don't stop in. Stop over here instead and we will wrap our cyber arms around you.

My name is Addy, an acronym for what I am...I am simply All Done Drinking...Yes! :hug:

[Byrdlady]

Addy, what a thoughtful and inspirational post. Thank you for taking the time to lay that all out.

LostSoul, Addy makes a great point! What I notice about these boards is that conversation begets conversation. In other words, when people are quiet, it doesnt spark much in someone else to comment. I think many of us have our notifications turned on, so if you leave a message, most likely, someone will respond. In addition to that, NN truly is one of the busier threads and we are always on point. It is also safe. Keep posting and you will get responses. Last but not least, there are 7 or 8 years of history on this thread alone. If it is too quiet and you need reassurance, read back and you will find you are in good company. I would venture to guess in the 62000 posts on this thread, you will find that we are not unique and others have overcome what we are experiencing and worse! This site is a goldmine, so start digging and learn all you can about this disease we share. You dont have to be a victim of AL for one more second! Stay glued in, read and POST!
Byrdie

[Dutch1988]

Lostsoul sorry you felt a bit alone last night. I know what oyu mean though, when you really need someone to talk to here, your pretty much settling for a computer screen. The best thing I can say is I always post just like you did, and tell myself I am going to wait before I drink. Wait to read what people respond with before I do anything drastic like actually go into that liquor store. I don't know any more active forums, but if you find one let me know. I also recommend just reading people's old posts, people's stories, the relapse in retrospective thread. The big tool here isn't really the immediate interactions as it is the wealth of information. You can read through the nest or other threads and probably find someone who is in the same boat as you and learn what they did about it. I usually check on here often, like multiple times a day to read and post. Some days are more difficult than others...

Yesterday was challenging for me personally. My wife and I talked for a long time about my concerns at work and it not doing as well as I would like, and how I feel less motivated for numerous reasons, like just running the damn place for the past 8 years. My brother called and I was arguing with my brother about us dropping the ball on systems we put in place for us to be successful at our business. I don't know why I am bringing it up now, he just took yesterday off because of his manic depressive schizophrenia, so I decided to stress him out even worse because I am just a paranoid dummy. He attempted suicide earlier this year and was talking about it again last night, but he is also 80 sober and was drinking quite a bit for a long time. I think he's just like me, going through delayed onset withdrawal, but he refuses to go speak to someone. I was reading on schizophrenia last night, and cognitive behavioral therapy is supposed to be just as effective as anti psychotics for his situation, although meds have not helped and given him bad side effects.

I've been looking for meaning in my life outside of making more money, which for a long time was what i thought I wanted. I would much rather help my twin with his problem, especially since my family has a history of mental illness, and I might have a kid, grand kid down the line with the same problem. My grandmother used to tell me I could not help Hank, and I needed to worry about my own family, but she had a daughter with the same situation that she ended up not being able to help. After almost finishing Man's Search for Meaning, I really feel like my meaning is in making my business successful for my brother and myself, but I haven't had the motivation to do it for a long time. My wife says that it's because of this imaginary bucket that never gets filled up from working there with him, as many times something extra I do makes him uncomfortable because he feels obligated to do more when he is always going through tough times.

Drinking made this easier because I would just drink when I got home from dealing with a bad work day that was longer than usual. You can try and convince me otherwise but that is how I feel. Drinking actually helped with that problem, because i could do the extra work and not get anything and the drinking was for me. Too bad the drinking was becoming a problem too, I really need to look into a new hobby that is strictly for me, something I can indulge in as a treat on a daily basis that I can do instead of drinking to make up for having to put in extra hours. Otherwise i will lash out at my bro and make him feel bad, and even if we maintain the business if he feels inadequate then I blew it. Oy, okay, off to work, sorry for the rant, but I had to get it out.

[Byrdlady]

Dutch, crosspost, same message!
It has been such a pleasure to see your growth during this journey. I am so proud of you! Keep up the great work! b