Newbies Nest

[css54]

Thanks Kensho Im AF#2 I start a part time job today I thinks that will help Ive been unemployed and live alone and also suffer from depression not a good combo. thanks for the welcome I plan to come on here and read when I get urges and also walk more. gotta go start my new job thanks for the welcome.

[Byrdlady]

Welcome aboard, css! We have 7 years of history in this thread alone, so if things get slow and you need to be connected, just go back and do some reading....most of our stories are very similar! We were humming along and drinking til our hearts content and then one day we realized it wasn't so much fun anymore. We weren't drinking because it was fun, we were drinking because we NEEDED to! Yikes! You will never be alone around here! We are so glad you found us!
Hope you have a great day at the new job! We can't wait to hear all about it.

LostSoul, so glad you are finding your mojo in the kitchen! That's the stuff!!!

Sothankful, stick close and as my old piano teacher used to say, let's do it again, this time, WITH FEELING! Now you know what NOT to do, right? We're glad you came right back!

Still raining! Byrdie

[sothankful]

part of my slip was a tiff my husband and I got into..plus low blood sugar, I also have some family issue going on that I am trying to deal with..my hubby and I had a long talk and he's being supportive but him and I bicker too much at each other and we are trying to stop that .
He pisses me off very easily.... Plus My friends all drink so trying to figure that out also..
but I know I need to self protect right now..just want to get some time under my belt. The only thing I know to do is to keep moving forward and try not to give up..

[sothankful]

Thank you Byrdlady, your right I need to stay close to the nest.

[Springstart]

Hi css54, hope your first day in your new job went well. I'm on my own too and am really pleased that I don't have alcohol anymore, its much better without and I found the depression and drinking alcohol went hand in hand so well done for giving it up. Just keep thinking how lucky you are and all those times you'll wake up after a fantastic nights sleep ready for you new job. Just wanted to say hello.

HI sothankful, all my friends drink too, I'm so glad I don't now, I still enjoy myself and still go out, but I don't have the hassle of having to get a taxi, dreading the next day and that horrible guilty feeling I used to wake up with. One day they'll realise how much alcohol strips from them but until then I'm just thankful that I came to my senses. Good luck too.

[Lavande]

Good evening Nesters,

Hello & welcome css54! Glad you decided to join us, this is a good place
Get your plan together, use ideas from our Tool box & stick close to the nest.

LS, Congrats on your 1 week AF, YAY!!!
Just keep doing what you've been doing, you've got this

sothankful, sorry you chose to drink this weekend but glad you came right back to the nest. Learning new coping skills has to be a huge part our plans for success. Drinking is what got us here, it's never a problem solver.

Byrdie, I think the rain should be stopping real soon!! At least I hope so, LOL

Wishing everyone a very safe night in the nest!

Lav

[LavenderBlue]

LavBlue, checking in! I really have been busy lately, but when I go a while without posting here I ask myself if I'm still prioritizing my quit. I don't want anyone to get the idea that I'm still thinking about AL all the time - the longer I'm sober the more I can really relax into an AF life without the effort - I just feel like if I don't remember AF is a priority for me, I'm leaving myself more open next time I do have a random craving. Anyway, I usually decide I'm not avoiding the Nest on purpose, but at the same time ask myself why risk it?

One of the exciting things I'm working on is starting to plan more longterm goals for myself. I want to get out of school and credit card debt and think I can handle a second job to help with that. I'm also researching my school options for when I do feel comfortable going back. I'm most interested in going back to learn how to be a vet tech, but I'm trying to stay open to other ideas. I'm nearly all caught up on health type appointments I'd fallen behind on. I have dental appointments this week and next, and tomorrow I'm going in for an eye exam. I KNOW I was buzzed the last time I had my eyes checked, I can't imagine that helped at all. *groans at past-me*

Newbies and returning-bies, reading back through posts here, the Toolbox, and other threads on the site helped me immensely in my journey to get sober. I avoided threads that seemed like they might spark cravings, but there is so much great information on here. Even when I wasn't sure how to process any of it, just sitting and reading about people like me and how they got sober and why it was important helped keep my focus where it needed to be.

You'll hear people mention the Toolbox and having a Plan a lot; but for good reason! It was thanks to reading here that I avoided situations that might cause me to drink until I felt stronger, and when I did want to start (I wanted to be at a friend's wedding reception) I was able to put together a plan that let me get through the experience without caving into my AL voice. It was a combination of things for me - I made sure to stay full, found the non-AL drinks right away (I should have brought my own, really), only stayed as long as I could handle things, and my closest friends knew I'd quit. I also used my accountability here, checking in before and after the event.

The hardest thing, and most useful, was to start listening with an open mind to the successful AF folks here. When they suggested something I didn't like - such as getting all the AL out of the house - I made myself sit an unpack why I didn't like it. Was I hoping for a loophole? Was I trying to leave myself an out? Usually the answer was yes - of course it was, addictions are very good at convincing you of things that get in the way of recovery! I think a lot of what got me through especially the early days was faith that things would get better. It's hard to hold on to that when you've got yourself in a hole, but it truly does get much better.

Stay safe all, and have a great night!

[Dutch1988]

Lavblue it's good to hear how well your doing. Taking on a second job sounds ambitious, if you can handle it your doing awesome! I had the shortest second job career ever, I worked at target for a week, they changed my hours last minute on a Friday and I came in an hour late, I tried to pretend I forgot to clock in but was caught. After my first I expected better talk From the supervisor I was a bit turned off. They tried to switch me to the day shift which killed my martial arts job where I made diddly squat, and of course it's hard to change a supervisors mind when you just lied to their face. I sure learned a lot from that experience, I don't lie anymore at least haha.

Css54 welcome to the nest! I stand by this place being why I don't drink. I joke about checking in here with my family but it has made a huge difference. I equate it to journaling but having plenty of experience to give you perspective. Let us know what your plan is, I had to replace drinking at night with something, for two months it was soda, then green tea. I also had to workout at night late to keep myself from drinking, meeting friend there. That got me thru the tough days.

Today was another challenge. My brother drank last night, and I knew it would mean I had to teach on my day off. I didn't get to train and only got a short workout in. Still I am maintaining, and on tough days like today that's better than nothing. I am grateful I had the energy and capacity to work today instead of my brother. I could give him a day off to get perspective and make a new plan to see his doctor. I am hoping he doesn't drink tonight but we all know how that goes. I would be really interested in anyone dealing with serious mental illness who drinks to cope lurking. Giving us some insight into how it helps you. Giving up alcohol is such a hard thing to do, and he made it almost three months, but he said he just couldn't take the voices anymore. On long days at work I don't even like the radio on, and prefer silence. Can you imagine having voices talking to you 24/7, some belittling you and making you feel like crap, telling you to do things? I'll take that craving voice any day, at least it goes away...

[Guitarista]

Dutch,

Does your brother have any peer support, groups he is linked with around hearing voices? There are some networks around. They are often known as 'Hearing voices' groups. Here's a link in the USA. Hearing Voices Network USA | Intervoice

This guy Larry Davidson is a decent fella and is very involved and passionate about mental health and research, so might be worth contacting if you are at a loss. https://medicine.yale.edu/psychiatry...vidson.profile

Another Scottish guy with lived experience of schizophrenia is Ron Coleman. He runs a program in Scotland I think, but you can probably find his talks on you tube which may be of interest. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pUSWfxg1TRM


Many of these groups share coping strategies that have worked for or helped them. But like for us, a group of people who are experiencing such issues can show us we're not alone at least. Good luck.

Kicking ass here. Hope all's well out there Nesters.

[Lavande]

Good morning Nesters.

Happy Tuesday to all. It's sunny here, yay!
After last week's heavy rain, I am grateful

LavB, good to see you & good to hear you are moving forward in your AF life!

Dutch, I'm sorry about your brother. Living with mental illness like his has to be rough. He needs to be closely monitored & on medication. I hope he gets the help he needs before his drinking takes over. Sounds like he needs a multi-faceted approach to wellness.

Hey there G! Thanks for posting those links

Wishing everyone a great AF day. I'm out shortly for some exercise to get this day started right!

Lav

[Byrdlady]

Good morning, nesters!
Still raining. We are going to be some kind of happy when the sun finally comes out!

Yesterday, I forwarded something to a coworker in confidence and he turned around and sent it to the boss! I'm telling you, I am floored, I really trusted this guy and thought we were 'in the same boat' but this has taught me a very valuable lesson! As Ben Franklin said, 'Two people can keep a secret if one of them is dead'! UGG....

Hope everyone has a peaceful day. Byrdie

[gingerspice]

Good afternoon fellow nesters ,Glad the rain is stopping Byrdie it must be a relief.
Congratulations on 1 week lost soul the only way now is onwards and upwards ! It is a journey so worth making.
Pleased so thankfull that you came back on board so quickly , don't get discouraged , best foot forwards.
Welcome css54 , you have to the best place to ensure success - like lavb said listen and learn from the old timers who have got it licked the advice that they give is invaluable. I also found reading the toolbox and learning about alcoholism / alcohol abuse was really usefull it made me understand why I craved etc.
I would encourage all newcomers to formulate a plan ,change certain things (if Poss ) that are a trigger ,and to have in place a short list to go through if and when you are tempted -ie * H .A .L . T (hungry , Angry , Lonely, Tired ) -are you any of these ,if so eat ,talk to someone, go to bed !! *Play it forward ( think about the consequences of having that drink -it has helped me ) and don't forget to * post here and use the support of others.

Take care x

[KENSHO]

Good morning! Great posts! Busy day ahead for me. Feeling positive - I can hear (hallelujah!), and am making progress in my stack of "way behind" items.

Have a good day. Remember, the best day drinking is not as rewarding as the worst day sober. We deserve to live without the haze of alcohol!

[sothankful]

Good morning all, had a much better night lastnight... Ginger spice I never heard of h.a.l.t.
That's very helpful, lastnight I started to feel irritated and I'm thinking why? My husband was super nice yet I was started to get snippy with him, then I realized this going to sound silly but oh well, I wanted a hamburger.lol I told husband and he ran right out and got us both a burger and all fine..that's striking me so funny, then he's says all better now? ha ha , sometimes I guess it can be that easy .. So I will remember the h.a.l.t

[Dutch1988]

Thanks Giitarista, I followed and forwarded the links to him, it's definitely like leading a horse to water but I appreciate the help. After trying to help him for long I can start to feel helpless, it's good to read people benefiting from help and support