Newbies Nest

[All done drinking]

Good morning all. What a nice thing it is to wake up early after a great night's sleep with energy to tackle my day. Can't tell you how many mornings were sluggish, slow, and some days a total waste because of my poor body trying to process the poisen out of it.

LostSoul, good for you to attend 2 meetings! I haven't quite found the right one for me as I want to meet some women and make non drinking friends who are strong in their quit. Was glad to hear your one meeting sounded like a good fit for you.

Eloise and Mr. V, it is hard at times with all of that drinking around us. So many ads on t.v. glamorizing it. However, the interesting thing that I have noticed is the amount of people who don't drink. I used to use flying as an excuse as I only flew when on vacation and we travel a lot. Didn't matter what day of the week or time of the day. If it was 9 am then it was time for a bloody Mary. Wine at noon, etc. So, now that I've quit, I've paid more attention to all of the folks around me as to what they order and I have to admit from my personal experience, hardly anyone orders an alcoholic drink. It's funny how we can tend to think that everybody drinks like us, but in reality, they don't.

Good morning to everybody else, you long termers (Lavande, Byrdie, NS) who always pop in to give us a boost to keep fighting the battle, you caretakers to others who are so caring (Ava,), to the early posters who were able to get out of bed because AL didn't kick them in the butt (LilBit, Mr. G, gingerspice) and everybody else who comes to nest here (Kensho, MaryLou123, Frances, Pavati, Starfish, QW, LavBlue, SoThankful, Dutch etc.) And to think these are just the names in the past couple of days. The nest is growing!

Addy :heartbeat:

[paulywogg]

Mr,V,great job on eating first!! I know those events are basically built on drinking but they do have some amazing food,good for you I love the chicken costumes Lilbit,hello to all,have a great Sunday everyone

[NoSugar]

It struck me yesterday as I was reading that the nest is full of some of the most open, honest, supportive people I've ever seen. We support one another not only by directly giving encouragement but by letting others see the real person in each of us.

I wasn't able to quit for good and get past the guilt and regrets until I finally let the people here know what I was thinking and feeling. It was so difficult and embarrassing. It is hard to allow yourself to be so vulnerable, especially if like me, you present yourself in real life as fine, strong, unfazed, free of any sort of distress, and in control almost all of the time. But, I think its critical if you truly want to get free. I'm so grateful that I found a safe place to do that - safe to me because of the anonymity of an online forum. I shudder to think where I'd be right now if not for this amazing technology that is so easy to take for granted these days. I work online and so in frustration often claim I'm about to become a modern-day Luddite but when I think of this, I remember how fortunate we all are.

I had some days last week that were classic in terms of what pushes me to the edge: NoSugar vs. The Impersonal Automated Machine. I was trying to get an Rx (that I desperately need) filled starting last Monday that I finally obtained Friday at 5 pm. I'll spare you the phone calls, trips to pharmacies, and tears between those time points but just say I was at a very high frustration/desperation level.

Because the fact that I don't drink is always in the background of my thoughts (in a good, not obsessive, way), it occurred to me how great it would be to check out, untie the knot in my stomach, and just escape. I even commented (flippantly) to a friend that it was a shame I'd quit drinking. But I didn't mean that - I'm thrilled that I quit drinking! I'm so grateful that even at my most irritated, stressed moments, a glass of wine held no appeal and in fact, just sounded really stupid.

Stick around here, Nesters. It takes awhile but I know it is possible to get to the place that alcohol isn't a solution - for anything!

xx NS

[LostSoul33]

Happy Sunday!

I agree with NoSugar, this group is definitely the most authentic and encouraging bunch. We are so lucky to have one another.

This morning I've been doing a lot reading on MWO and just about finished with the new recovery book I picked up.

It's Canadian Thanksgiving today, so I'm especially missing my family (I live in the US). So I plan to stay busy, get some house work done, go to my favorite farmers market, whip up a healthy lunch, gym and head to another AA meeting. Some people I met yesterday want to go for coffee, and I think I might just do that

Happy to hear everyone's doing well!

[Dutch1988]

Great post NS, this open community has definitely been a blessing to me. Much like yourself, I try to present myself as having all my shit together and handling everything without it phasing me. It is nice to have a place to go tone honest about how your feeling. Posting how I feel on here regularly has definitely been a major factor in me not drinking.

That being said, this past week definitely took its toll on me. I have been lifting weights 4-6 times a week for months and with my bro out with his health issues at work o didn't workout once. I know time was crunched, and I could of used a rest week, but a routine is a routine, especially when it's one towards not drinking. I also caved three times in the past week, and after not doing it for months, had a dr pepper. I was stressed and tired and it just sounded nice. This was another decision I made after quitting drinking for my health, so I am definitely in the danger zone. So this week I have planned out my workouts and am going to stick to them. I already made some iced green tea in the fridge and plan to drink that instead of sofa. For me it's a viscous cycle of giving up little health goals and going back to drinking.

Been thinking about drinking a lot this week. Like basically all day after work yesterday. I really should just take it off the table, then it kills the internal struggle. i also have been thinking of buying a e cig, I used to smoke one about a year ago for a month. I guess I just am looking for some kind of fix or something I can control since work seems so out of control right now. Here's hoping tomorrow I only work 2 hrs instead of 8 since it's supposed to be my day off.

[Guitarista]

Take care of yourself there Dutch.

And a big round of applause for our treasured friend Quit wining/Q dubbya who has racked up 50 days booze free! Congratulations mate, that is huge!

Wishing everyone a safe, sober and magical week.

[Byrdlady]

A late check in for me. Had a wonderful but short visit in Charleston, and hit major rain on the way home. South Carolina has all the water it can hold. We got home after a miserable drive. Today, I stayed busy finishing the turkey cookies I started and made a few others.
NS, it is a blessed relief when we get to the point where AL isnt the first go-to thought. Learning different coping skills takes time, but it is so worth it.

Hope everyone had an easy day. Byrdie

[kherriot]

OKAY I give up. I'm done. Sorry, you have all been so helpful but when you have a hubby that is feeling sorry for himself all the I can't keep boosting his ego if he doesn't do something for himself. I don't know, maybe I should think about me more. Why is it that when I feel good he feels shitty? I don't get it. I always thought that we were to support each other, so I say again,,,,,,I give up.

[Byrdlady]

Stop
Observe
Breathe
Experience
Respond

Dont drink AT your hubs, Karen. Stay strong for you!

[kherriot]

Sorry, venting right now, get over Turkey Dinner tomorrow and then I don't know what. I am not sure if I should be worried or not. I know he has been out of work for a while and then I go and work out to try to make myself feel better and really enjoy talking to other adults instead of just trying to make him feel better for himself. Like I said if it is going to be like this WTH. I give up. My mom died at 66, my birthday next year is 60, my son is doing great, why do I have to stroke his ego all the time!!! I am totally getting fed up, and now I don't care anymore. Just venting.............all I can say is CRAP!!! Not in a good place right now. But thanks for letting me vent, I know it helps to get it off my mind so maybe I can sleep tonight.

[kherriot]

Thanks, but I do feel like just giving up. Some of the girls in my support group turns out to be A**holes but I still try to help them and it is really grinding on my nerves. Just not sure what to do right now.

[Byrdlady]

Right now is the time to save yourself. You can save the world once you get solid sober legs! Do whatever it takes to get thru this day sober. Do not let AL win. Xo.

[Byrdlady]

I am sure of one thing, getting drunk will make everything worse. I relapsed more times than I care to count. It always ended the same way. With guilt, shame and remorse. Change your focus, go for a walkl, go take a bath. Eat something. Do anything but drink. I promise, it isnt the answer.

[Lavande]

Good evening Nesters,

I had a super busy day with 3 grandkids, some of their parents, dogs, chickens - you name it & I probably fed it today

Karen, I spent years drinking AT my husband & it never phased him. He just wanted to act like an idiot & wasn't going to change for me. He got even more miserable after I quit (despite his behavior). I did turn my attention to myself when I realized that I can only control myself & do what is right for me. Some people, honestly just don't want to be happy - my husband is one of them. Kind of pisses me off sometimes that I have spent the last 42 years married to someone who just 'trust happiness' (his words)!!!
Take care of yourself & focus on what is good for you - you won't be sorry.

Dutch, slipping with Dr Pepper huh? I'm smiling but I understand your thinking. Take lots of deep breaths before you reach for something you already know is not good for you. I hope you have an easier week ahead!

Wishing everyone a safe & comfy night in the nest!

Lav

[abcowboy]

Hey kher, what are you giving up on? Your quit? Your relationship with your husband? Yourself? Think it over, right now you come first, not even your support group members should come before you! As Byrdie said, you can work on the other things once you realize you have to come first!

And you know that drinking doesn't help. Oh maybe it can help you fuel your pity party, maybe give you the idea that someone should care about you, but all those things will still be there tomorrow, with the added hangover and the GSR that comes with it. Shitty days will always come, we just have to find a way to deal with them outside of a bottle. I know you know all this, that drinking seems like the only way out. But I also know that you know it isn't. So where do you go from here? Turn all your thoughts on yourself. Tell hubby that you can't deal with all his problems right now, you have to deal with yourself first. You need to be selfish as tough as that may seem, but you do. Get yourself healthy, then deal with the others. You need to let go of the other problems, they will be fine without you. :hug: