Newbies Nest

[Byrdlady]

Star, look at you bouncing around with you shiny new pair...of MONTHS! GREAT JOB! I am so happy to see you reaching your goals!! You make a really good sober person! Much love and admiration, B
:fairy:

[Byrdlady]

A great post from FB!
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[Lavande]

Good evening Nesters,

That is a good one Byrdie, thanks for posting it here!

G, Tolle made a huge impact on me - changed everything, especially the distorted thinking I developed over the years. Glad you like it too

Starfish, congrats on 2 AF months, yay!!!
No turning back now - you are velcroed to teh nest, LOL

LS, glad your interview went well & that you are finding support with AA too - great!

Dutch, remember to smile while you are crunching those numbers
You are doing just great with everything!!

Happy Thanksgiving to Karen & anyone else celebrating the holiday today!

Wishing everyone a safe & cozy night in the nest!!

Lav

[LostSoul33]

Thanks for the post, Byrdie!

And thanks for the job encouragement!

I am home for the night now. I attempted to go to an AA meeting today but when I pulled up, I quickly knew that one wasn't for me. It was a rough looking crowd and although Im not one to judge, there weren't any females in sight, at least hanging outside. So I figured if I won't feel comfortable, theres no sense in going. Im such a newbie at these meetings and they can truly be daunting especially when going solo and already suffering from social anxiety. Anyhow, I gave myself a break (anyone in AA would not have understood my reasoning but thankfully I can come here and tell the truth without feeling judged.) Instead I went to the gym and it helped with the cravings and my mood. Very good therapy.

One other thing I have to get off my chest is, I just got off the phone with a friend who is coming to visit this weekend, and told him that I am sober and won't be able to go to bars or the regular types of restaurants he likes to go to. I don't think he believes me, because we are both heavy drinkers. To be honest, he booked this trip a month ago, and I know its for work but he plans on spending his time with me and I couldn't feel more awkward about the whole thing. I can't think of one thing we have in common outside of drinking. Im having a lot of anxiety regarding this... any thoughts or advice would be truly appreciated. I have to protect my sobriety, this is my life and its the most important thing Ive got.

Have a good night xx

[Dutch1988]

Congrats Star on two months!

That's tough LS, I just turned down a hangout yesterday because it was at a bar. I just didn't feel comfortable. I don't need the pressure from someone to drink. I am sure he and everyone would understand, but if everyone is drinking I don't need that.

Just had to post tonight dealing with a migraine. I remember before I quit I had a really bad headache and wouldn't take anything because I was worried about my liver. Today I popped some excedrin and am praying for relief, but at least I don't have to worry about AL screwing me up.

[available]

LS a few weeks into my quit my SIL was visiting and she was my best drinking friend in the world. we had gotten blind more times than i have had hot breakfasts. I fought with myself and worked myself into a state but in the end my quit was the priority. i knew deep down i would drink so i told her that my dog was really sick and i could not meet her. The dog wasnt sick obviously but i had to say something. otherwise she would have said that i would be fine and I could have just a couple and i would have even though i said to myself i would be strong. My quit is still my highest priority and it always will be, if you feel wobbly dont go. dont worry about what he will say or will think, this is your life you are protecting. I have since told my SIL what i did and she admires me greatly for what i have done to get and stay sober.

[gingerspice]

Way to go lostsoul hope the interview was a winner .I've never been to AA ,its probably a prideful thing ,as I live in a small town and are afraid of meeting someone I know . I suppose deep down although I know I am an Alcoholic ,not so confident to verbalise it ( I can type it !!!).
Glad the classes are going ok Dutch. My son in law does not earn the amount personal training as you do. he has to do it as a second Income you must be very good,
Well done Starfish 60 days a huge achievement ,:goodjob:
Hi Mr G ,when I get anxious I bite my cheek and my eyelid ticks ,not nice.

take care everyone and enjoy a pleasant day x

p.s my first Emocion hope you are impressed

[LostSoul33]

Thanks, Ava and Dutch. I know in my heart that I cannot see him but I also know he made this trip just to see me and was able to convince his work to get him to come for "meetings." He doesn't know anyone in this city so the burden is on me to entertain him. He's been talking about this for a month, and I feel awful because, when I was drinking, I did want him to come. But I just can't risk it. That said, do you think I should tell him I can't see him? I don't think I can or is there anything we can do that wouldn't tempt me to drink? Only thing I can think of is the movies. Or do you think I can tell him I will have to leave if he drinks in front of me and see what he says? I have until Friday to figure this out. I've already told him I will have to work everyday (Im an awful liar but this is what I must do).

[Guitarista]

Thanks, Ava and Dutch. I know in my heart that I cannot see him but I also know he made this trip just to see me and was able to convince his work to get him to come for "meetings." He doesn't know anyone in this city so the burden is on me to entertain him. He's been talking about this for a month, and I feel awful because, when I was drinking, I did want him to come. But I just can't risk it. That said, do you think I should tell him I can't see him? I don't think I can or is there anything we can do that wouldn't tempt me to drink? Only thing I can think of is the movies. Or do you think I can tell him I will have to leave if he drinks in front of me and see what he says? I have until Friday to figure this out. I've already told him I will have to work everyday (Im an awful liar but this is what I must do).

Hi LS. It sounds like he's ready and looking forward to partying hard with his ol drinking buddy, which might be an assumption on my part.

2 ways I would go:

- either tell him the truth and meet on your terms e.g. say for lunch at a café/non bar nightclub vibe. That way you honour your commitment to meet with him, but you are taking care of yourself and you have control of the venue and time allotted to meet. e.g. 'Basil, I can meet you for lunch at a café near me but I must leave at 2.30p.m.'

Control your transportation. e.g. Drive yourself.

- or, maybe the 'I'm on antibiotics for 6 weeks so cannot drink' story.

Either way, he may be a little disappointed at first, but if he values you as a friend and a person, he will suck it up and go with your lead out of respect.

Good luck!

[Lavande]

Good morning Nesters, happy Tuesday to all!

I'm watching my grandson for a few hours this morning then dropping him off at his preschool. Glad to be of service

LS, you have been given some good ideas to consider about your situation. I bet if you searched the Tool box you could come up with hundreds more!! Never forget that you are an adult & you make the decisions that are right for you. Your sobriety takes first place, always. Your friend will get over any disappointment he may or may not have, right?

Dutch, hope you feel better!

Wishing everyone a great AF Tuesday!

Lav

[Rahulthesweet]

Hi All,

I am 599 days sober today and I spoke my knee while cycling here in spain. This is so bad. I was cycling when the type slipped and I fell on my knee. The knee which was already strained out due to last 30 miles of cycling could not take it any more and broke as I fell.

I am thankful to one small family which called emergency and helped but next few hours I felt so help less especially being alone in a foreign country.

I feel bad but there is a part which is happy that now I don't have to travel.

I am taking a Flight back home in next few hours and then straight to doctor. I also hope there is no need for surgery.

So I will be grounded and on bed rest for next 3 months or more. .. what a terrible way to celebrate 600 days (

[Pie]

So sorry to hear about your knee, Rahul, and glad that there are kind people around to help you. Take care, and congrats on 600!

[Byrdlady]

OMG, Rahul, that is terrible news! We are all wishing the best possible outcome for you, I am so sorry that happened, it makes my knees hurt just reading about it! Please take care and do what the drs tell you! Keep us posted!

Work is nuts over here....this is our time of year...everything has to be done by Thanksgiving. Then to make it interesting, I have 8 online training modules to do before the end of the month! UGG!

LS, great advice given. I have seen many a nester get derailed in those first delicate days! Take care of YOU....no matter what it takes. It really IS a matter of life or death for us. We are in the battle of our lives, we need every advantage we can get. Staying out of temptation helped me and is always a good strategy. In battling ALK'ism, I also have to fight the disease to please. I don't see anyone else stepping up to re-do our Day 1's for us. Protect your quit and you'll never be sorry.

Hope everyone has an easy day! Byrdie

[KENSHO]

I had a hard weekend. I had a hard two weeks. Friday night was exceedingly difficult, and Sat. I caved and had a drink. I recognized the addictive thinking as it was happening, but I just couldn't turn it around for some reason. It helped a ton to log on here, but my phone ran out of juice Sat. afternoon and my thoughts got the best of me.

Then I had a strange event on Sun. morning. I moved my arm and pinched a nerve or something, and my shoulder had terrible pain. I sat up, and then passed out. I awoke to my husband on top of me yelling my name. It was scary. I spent the rest of the morning in Nowhere, Desert feeling very down and intensely disappointed in myself. It was not worth it. At ALL. It was stupid, actually. All this thinking and contemplating and trying to refuse my thoughts and one small drink that was absolutely NOT all I had made it to be.

The two weeks prior I had been feeling pretty down. I was feeling physically "off" - the ear thing, and kind of dizzy and headaches and very mentally foggy. SO uncomfortable that I often thought of wanting any kind of escape I could get. It sounds silly, because here Rahul is going through major knee pain, and Kherriot is living with someone totally draining, and all I can say is I just didnt feel "right". But it is what it is. In one instant, she poured me a drink and I took it - one second of screw this - I just want to feel better - and I start over. All I could think of on Sunday, besides I hope I didn't just have a heart attack, was how sorry I was going to feel to you all to come here and tell you what happened. But better to be real.

You all gave good advice - that discomfort is only temporary - do whatever it takes for TODAY - I heard it and I couldn't get through it. SO I am disappointed in myself and I AM sorry to you all. If it's any consolation, I awoke yesterday feeling good. Mentally clear and none of the headaches or brain fog... with-it and ready to go at work. I feel pretty good today as well. I did think a bit over the weekend that maybe my depressed feelings were my dopamine receptors trying to heal? At 45 (?) days AF, is it possible that my brain hit a major struggling point to try to make its own dopamine? I felt absolutely horrible - gloomy, sad, sick, foggy, etc. And I hated it. Not that that drink seemed to offer me any immediate relief - maybe it was all just a virus or changing hormones for the season change... I don't know.

BUT I feel better now, and I am on day 2. Better to be on day "something" than drinking, so I have forgiven myself and am moving forward trying to learn from this. It's OK to feel bad sometimes - and it should be temporary (though it didn't feel that way). Being out in Nowhere, UT without my support group, and a female friend that clearly doesn't support my intentions and feeling like dogshit the previous two weeks was a recipe for a challenge. I faced the first night with flying colors, but failed the second.

One to a new day. I'm truly sorry to those here who have offered me such support - it is not unheard and I appreciate you all very much.

[Starfish1]

Wow, friends! So much I want to comment on, but in tne middle of reading posts, I have been hit with a family emergency and have to leave town. I will check back tomorrow. I am glad I am sober for this.