Newbies Nest

[Byrdlady]

Great conversation, all!
Kensho, I read someone's post the other day (Addy, it may have been yours) that said, 'The further away from drinking I got, the worse problem I realized I had'. That is WORD right there. As I was coming out of the tailspin, and life became more peaceful and simple, I realized just how chaotic AL made everything! I had to make sure I had my supply, I was always concerned about hubs finding my empties, or smelling my breath. I didn't plan anything much on weekends, because I started drinking at 10:30 in the morning and couldn't drive after that. I needed to be finished with any work that required thought by 4:30 or I would start getting agitated....didn't want to miss the 5 o'clock Booze Bell! Every thing I did revolved around AL... It really isn't normal is carry vodka in a hairspray bottle in one's purse! It seemed normal to me, how else was I supposed to get it?? With time and distance we realize that we really WERE as bad as we thought (and worse!) Even my glass there at the end was skewed....it was a Viking goblet instead of a wine glass! (But I only had 1 glass, I would protest!) Time and distance are a real gift in this war. I believe something so strongly I put it as my byline below. All you gotta do is get thru this day. So far, so good! B

[Guitarista]

Byrdy, not sure if you were serious about that book 'Numb and number', but you should write it. I reckon it would be a best seller and a brilliant read.

Cool beans LS!

Great posts Starfish, Kensho and y'all, thank you. I am currently at a previous personal relapse point i.e. anywhere around 30/50/60/90 days, and I like to think I've learned a thing or 2 about my thinking by now. It get's a bit old going back to the bottle time and time again. So this time around, I want to stay the path and get to the magic that I know is waiting for me. I need to give myself a chance and keep pushing through to the treasure. Why? Because I'm worth it.

Welcome Lbardina!

The weekend aint no ticket to boozeville see?

[Starfish1]

G man. I want to stick here with you. We can do it this time. I feel it in my spiny appendages! All we gotta do is get thru this day, rinse and repeat!

[Guitarista]

Right on Starfish buddy. Nothing changes if nothing changes. :llama:

[Lavande]

Good evening Nesters,

My granddaughter has gone home for a few days but she'll be back to stay again next week. Her parents are working hard trying to find a new preschool/daycare place for her. In the meantime I am providing the care for her & loving every exhausting moment. Yes, I am grateful to be happy, healthy & AF

Hello & welcome lbardina, glad you decided to join us. Settle in & hang out in the nest for as long as you like!

Kensho, it's true that none of us want to be active alcoholics. You know what the best treatment is so let's just stay on plan knowing & accepting our reality. Stay put & we'll help you get thru the tough parts.

Star, glad you survived hell week - geez!!!!

Wishing everyone a safe & cozy night in the nest. We're getting frost warnings so I hope everyone stays nice & warm!!

Lav

[LavenderBlue]

Jumping in quickly for now, but something that sometimes helps me:

"If I'm an alcoholic I definitely shouldn't have even one drink, everyone knows that! If I'm not an alcoholic...I should have no trouble abstaining since it's healthier and I've decided that's my goal, right? If I don't have a problem then I shouldn't feel like I 'need' it." (I mean, I do consider myself an alcoholic, it's just something I point out to myself when the AL brain gets going.)

[Pavati]

Hi, All:

Kensho, as another "I wasn't THAT bad" thinker, I get what you're saying. I didn't have any outside pressure to change (yet), but having read plenty about alcohol and the progression it takes, I can say that I was headed nowhere fast. I consider myself lucky that I was able to find this group before something worse happened. I know for a fact that I wouldn't have walked into an in-person meeting any time close to when I was able to come here, and I know if I hadn't found MWO I would have suffered through that last hangover and eventually gotten back up on that horse very soon. Byrdie, I think I wrote that about the farther I get the worse I see I was - I got that from a Bubble Hour episode. Kensho, I recommend the blog Unpickled. Start from the beginning and work your way to present day. It's author is Jeanne from the Bubble Hour who was a very high functioning alcoholic. It is interesting to see her progression from secret blogger to recovery advocate.

Star and G - together you're magic. THIS is IT!! I know it. Thanks for the great post, Star.

Overit - I see you stopped by. I hope you're ok. What's going on??

I have to run. No ticket to Boozeville here this Friday night. Just some flannel PJs and a movie with the family. So glad I won't have to keep pausing it to fill my glass...

Pav

[Lavande]

Good morning Nesters,

Rise & shine
What's everyone doing to stay on plan this weekend?

Have a wonderful AF day!

Lav

[Dutch1988]

Yeah I hate the inner voice calling me back to drinkin because I wasn't "that" bad a drinker, it is probably my number one cause of discomfort right now. I know people say to just take the drinking option off the table, and I tell myself I don't drink, but I don't think my brain really believes it. Hopefully someday it will be a non-issue

So Friday was stressful as hell, but I have more ofa a personal medical problem right now. Normally I am super open on this forum, but I think I can't leave out the details on this one. Still you may want to skip this if you don't want to visualize my...undesirables, I'll try to be colorful.

I had surgery as a kid that took one of my soldiers away from me, thursfsy I had a throbbing pain at night that got better as I slept. Yesterday a six year old kicked me in the nuts, and the pain hasn't gone away tonight. I am trying ice and anti inflammatories but which I think is helping. Either way it's causing me a lot of stress and anxiety, I am just going to say I have a pain you know where that doesn't seem to be going away. My wife, hyper sensitive about fertility, made me freak out worse so now I am a bundle of nerves at 5am in the morning when I need to go to work for 10 hours. I just need to work through this one day and then I will just go to the ER if I am still worried.

I had to post this guys, it made me want to drink on a Friday when I haven't felt like it for a long time. I hope other folks aren't afraid to post their problems that are less than...pretty haha. I'll let you know what the doctor says, unless my uni baller bursts into flames

[LilBit]

Lordy, Dutch! I thought my tight hip flexors this morning were an issue until I read your post. I hope you're feeling better soon. All joking aside, I'm sorry you're in pain and hope that AL is still off the table as an option, no matter what.

With changing one's mindset as a concern for all of us, here's a little light reading on some simple "Flip the Switch" techniques. Red Read - Stuck On Autopilot? (5 Ways to Flip the Switch)

Happy booze-free Saturday!

[Byrdlady]

Good morning, all!
Got up this morning ready to play in CAKE! Here is this morning's project!

[LilBit]

Byrdie, that cake's GORGEOUS! What time shall I show up at your house? I'll bring my own fork.

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[Mr Vervill]

Damn, Dutch,
As a guy I cringe just thinking about your problem. Adopting the soccer penalty kick stance now.
Byrdie, you must get up awfully early to finish something like that off before noon.
Lil,Bit, talk about tight hip flexors, despite near freezing temperatures this morning, I went kayaking with a few friends this morning. I could barely get out of the kayak. The hips are still stiff.
Lil and Byrdie, I'm still blushing from your salute.
Some wonderful reflections from Kensho and Star, good reading, and things to contemplate. I wish I could be so eloquent with words.
Pav, I've got to start listening to more bubble hour podcasts. Listened to the one on denial not too long ago, yup, that's me nailed it.
Me, I'm just waiting for the day I'm not THAT bad. Until then, Mr V

[LostSoul33]

Morning!

Byrdie, you've got some mad skills! I am in awe at that piece of work, don't think I could eat it!

Dutch, Im sorry about the incident. My heart goes out to you

Mr V, I love the Bubble Hour, are they still doing podcasts? I listened to all of them twice and iTunes hasn't updated new episodes for a while..

Doing a little check in here, I made it through another test yesterday. Without getting into too much detail, I was a victim of a phishing scam and feel absolutely violated. The person hacked into all my social media accounts, email, and Im still trying to figure out what other damage he did. I am praying he didn't get into bank or financial-related accounts. I got to "know" this person for 3 months over a work related offer he extended-- honestly, Ill cry if I talk about it. Anyhow, I stayed sober & grateful for another day.

Have a great Saturday everyone! Im heading to the beach

[Starfish1]

Hi friends!

Dutch!! I am so worried about you! Please get to the doctor ASAP! Keep us posted and please don't let this drive you to drink. Things will only get worse.
LS! What a mess! I hate thieves!! They wreak havoc on innocent souls wherever they go. As you know, my family was also victimized by that type this week. Good thing you are sober to deal with the aftermath. It's much easier that way for sure.

I'll have to admit here, guys, that I am computerless this weekend and my phone is not cooperating well. I can barely see what I am typing so there may be lots of errors and my posts will be brief but I am here and sober and happy to be that way.
I plan to spend the weekend enjoying my family, my new sober lifestyle and my pets.
I hope everyone has a great day.
Love you all!