Newbies Nest

[KENSHO]

Hi All. Thank you for your comments and stellar posts. NS, I think you hit it on the head for me - at any given moment I can step back and ask myself how I would be feeling if I were in a drinking pattern. The answer is often "hungover, nauseous, sluggish, irritable, craving, dirty, dishonest", etc... AND to think about what I am grateful for at any given moment - "feeling honest, clean, etc." is really helpful. I lost sight of focusing on those positives.

I am feeling crappy again - the ear thing. I noticed that the few days prior to it returning, I did not eat well. Lots of carbs and sugar (halloween candy!). This seemed to be the case the last time it hit. Don't know if it's Meniere's or what, but it is SO uncomfortable. I truly hate it. I would like NOT to feel it. BUT, it's here. And what better way to be motivated to eat better and keep up my exercise than to feel bad when I don't? It definitely feels like nervous system stuff, and I worry that it is a precursor to MS, or other yucky things. But all I can do is my best, and alcohol will definitely NOT make anything better.

SO, I made my fav. juice this am (beets, carrots, purple spinach, apple, celery, cucumber, ginger and lime), and have taken all my vitamins.

Sorry - could be more brief - just sharin' stuff.

I hope everyone has a great weekend - and do whatever it takes to NOT DRINK!

[Starfish1]

Hi Kensho. That juice sounds yummy! I used to drink one simular. Mine had beets, carrots, Apple, lime and ginger, I think.
It is so interesting to me that you are making a connection between the carb overload and the cravings. I am sure that same thing happens to me. I have been eating very low carb for the last 8 weeks and I think it really helps. I sure hope your ear problem clears up quickly!

[Rahulthesweet]

Hello All,

Good to be here in the Nest.

Kenso : Its never to late to start again. A day at a time and you will sail thru. It did get tough for me at 45 day mark and i slipped. But i read a lot did daily postings here. spent lot of time reading about AL and I managed to stay sober for now about 1.5 years. Still the most difficult time as I recall were first early days thenaround 30 to 45 day mark. By that time the AL starts taking to you. "Hey come on you managed to stay for so long, do dont have a drinking problem. You are not an alcoholic etc"

Dutch: Please take care of yourself and do show yourself to Dr. You hada tough day

Byrdlay : One day I will have a bite of your cake !

So sitting at home doing nothing exept resting, watching my wife going marry go round taking care of kids, work etc I amaze to see her how great women she is and how much lucky I am to have her in my life. I am also so lucky that she didnt leave me or our marriage fell apart due to my drinking.

Watching kids off to school and back, while I am sitting at home with broken leg was something new I am not used to doing.

<B>Flight</B> a great movie about an alcoholic pilot. I saw this about 2 years back when I was in Chicago. When I saw the move I was high when I came out I was even more thirsty. The movie did not have any impact on me then. Infact straight after the movie I went to one of those bars which has those tap beers. Today when I saw it, it made so much sense and I really appreciated that I am today sober and in a different state of mind.

It also reminded me kind of life threatening accident I have in past . Once it was duing college time when we bunch of friends were drinking the whole night on a new year's eve. And I drive out past mind night in a foggy night with a friend to get food, drunk. Windows down, music loud, bad fog, high speed, we both drunk. I rammed by car onto the pavement. I had seat belts so was safe, my friend hit his head ont eh wind screen but was safe well. The car was mess. had to call my parents the next morning for help.

5 years on boom, was drinking with 2 friends and out of one which a really close one. So I thought, few actions let to a realization that this friend was just taking advantage of me for so long and making a fool of me. I in a drunken stage made of fool of my self by crying. Left the scene, drunk driving a car and texting him while driving. The hit the divider in the middle at high speed, flew up in air and landed on other side of the road with a slam and all car tyres just jammed. It was like a movie scene with screaks and sparks on the road. Fortunately I was not hurt at all. The car was a mess.

another 5 year or so went by I was sucessfull busniness man coming back from a party celebrating. Had a lot, I mean a lot of drinks and was driving and bam I hit a 90 degree cut on the road. The car was totaled. Air bags saved me ...

then again another 5 years or so went along ... this time I was sober ... earlier this week. And I was cycling and I fell, broke my leg !!

Seems kind a joke ... a harm less sober man riding a cycle fracturing a leg and on all earlier occasions in drunken state I escaped un harmed. But this I am not ashamed, I am not guilty, I am rather happy I had an accident while doing something good rather than on earlier occasions when I could have killed some one else.

The best part of the movie in Flight is not the beginning scene of the movie when plane went crashing down but was the end ... when he called himself free by really powerful words.

I am so glad to be sober and glad to be here in the nest.

[Guitarista]

Good to see you Rahul. Wishing you a speedy and full recovery, along with you Dutch.

57 days here today. It is amazing and I am very grateful. I will push through because I know on the other side of 6 months the sky will open even wider than it has now.

How are you June? Hope you're cruising along nicely too LS.

Take care everyone and kick some ass in your own way.

[Byrdlady]

Great posts today.
It was a beautiful day here. There was a festival nearby to raise money for dogs during emergencies/hurricanes, called Salty Paws. 5 years ago, I volunteered to help with the event. The hours were from 11-4:30. I was already drinking by the time I got there. I brought booze with me so I could top off during (frequent) bathroom breaks. When I got off duty, I went over to the wine booth to try and but a glass before I called my hubs to pick me up. I was really irritated that they were only selling it by the bottle. I have not been asked to help since then. I have to wonder if it is because she could smell booze on me. Ordinarily, charity organizations will accept anyone with a pulse.

I was outside this afternoon enjoying the weather, it was about 4 o'clock and I thought, WOW, what a blessing to NOT have thought about AL today. Not watching the clock like a hawk waiting til I could start. Sobriety is such a blessing, it beats the hell out of being led around by a bottle!

Thank you for the kind words about my cake. Come on by with your fork, LB! This afternoon's project was Paint Your Own Cookies!

[Guitarista]

Brilliant Byrdy. Do you create that in one day? If so, wowza!

Here I am at 10.30 sunday morning lacing up my running shoes about to head out for a run. I found myself naturally whistling away happy with just..............being. I can tell you this is directly linked to 57 days of no boozeville. It feels damn good. If I am to move forward onto bigger and better things and achieve things I want to achieve, I know I will only do it living sober 24/7. The alternative as I've said before is just existing. Going sober for 2 weeks, 30 days, 50 etc then falling back into the same routine. i.e. a few days on the booze then off it again. Might not sound too bad, but for me in the early days/weeks I am focusing on not drinking and self care, and so I don't put myself 'out there' and kick some ass because my self confidence/esteem is still recovering from the last episode!

But now at 57 days I am feeling strong and confident. What a great foundation and springboard to launch oneself to stardom eh? Whether it be a cake, book, album, garden, relationship, career, study, painting, knitting, skateboarding, building your own furniture......Hell, there are no limits. L8tr g8trs.

[available]

Morning nesters

Check in time for me. I always thought i would be bored when i did not drink but there never seems to be enough hours in the day.

I get you on looking at the clock Byrd, 5.15 for me on work days and about 4ish on weekends if there was not something to celebrate to give me an excuse to drink earlier, like a nice day. Now its time to defrost the freezer and clean the damn pantry cupboard.

I took my 13 year old dog to get bloods done yesterday due to her epilepsy meds and her liver levels are high. Now that would have been a great excuse to drink but instead i gave her a cuddle and we go back again in a month. Even my fur babies are happy i dont drink, all those haircuts drunk i used to give them. Now everyone appreciates the sober me, even the animals.

For me now there is never a good enough excuse to drink, I appreciate life and what it gives me way too much.

Take care x

[Guitarista]

xpost Ava! All the best with your pup. How are ya?

[available]

Hey G, nearly catch up time for a coffee i am thinking. All good with me. Have bursitis in my shoulder so no gym and physio now. I am starting back tomorrow and have been told what i can and cant do. Loving the warmish weather except the 2 1/2 drive in peak hour in 33 heat on Thursday. Hope all well with you. My dog is a strong old girl and i keep telling the kids she will live forever. Fingers crossed.

[Guitarista]

Bu.....bur.....bursi........bur whaa? Crikey, in some ways I'm glad I don't get some of my niggles and aches diagnosed. They'd have me never running again! Just being stoopid. Total rest with shoulder injuries is often the only thing that heals them for me. Speak soon my friend. Hope your day is a pearler.

[Lavande]

Still Saturday night here you guys!
Hi there G & Ava!

Dutch, Rahul, Lil, Ava & anyone else with aches & pain - hope you all take care & feel better soon.
We can heal our wounds much better without AL's help - for sure!

Byrdie, my grandkids would love those cookies, the cake is fantastic

Wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[Guitarista]

Hi Lav! Warm regard's to the Stella.

Kensho's 3 truths: (as posted by The Kensho a little while ago)

1. I can't drink AL responsibly.
2. AL makes me feel like shit.
3. I can't have the life I want with AL still in it.

I gotta go along with all 3!

[Pavati]

Hi, Nest:

Crazy, Byrdie. Those cookies are so cute. What a great idea.

Great to see your infectious enthusiasm, G. 57 is the new 7,000.

Wow, Dutch. That sounds scary and hard. You, too, Kensho. I hope you both get straightened out soon. In the meantime, no consulting Dr. Google. Get to a real doctor!

I had a great day working on my side project, but looking forward to a real day off tomorrow. Tonight, exhausted, I had a long, sad sigh when I saw a beer in the fridge, but thankfully that's all it took. The long sigh helped me relax in a mind-clearing way, and I was able to move the beer to grab my dinner. Moments like that make me realize that vigilance is key to staying off the grog. I can't believe those sneaky thoughts still get in there.

Night folks. Bed with a good book soon - really looking forward to it.

xo
Pav

[All done drinking]

A couple of posts reminded me of this poem that a high school student wrote. You must read it from the top to the bottom and then re-read it from the bottom to the top.

Today was the absolute worst day ever

And don’t try to convince me that

There’s something good in every day

Because, when you take a closer look,

This world is a pretty evil place.

Even if

Some goodness does shine through once in a while

Satisfaction and happiness don’t last.

And it’s not true that

It’s all in the mind and heart

Because

True happiness can be obtained

Only if one’s surroundings are good

It’s not true that good exists

I’m sure you can agree that

The reality

Creates

My attitude

It’s all beyond my control

And you’ll never in a million years hear me say that

Today was a good day


Now read it from the bottom to the top

A lot of us here at NN have been having some real crazy things going on. Hubby and I have 2 winter visitor rentals that are completely furnished - pots/pans, towels, linens, beds, dressers, all of the furniture to fit 2 bedrooms. We found out today that not only had the tenants skipped out on us, but they had a big garage sale and sold all of our things! At first I was understandably pissed and we did file a police report and will go the whole justice route with having them punished. But as time went on, it became a little easier to say, things could be worse. We are in a situation to own rental properties, some people don't have a home. This will be a good story one day that we will laugh about. Of course the anger comes from being violated, trusting people who weren't to be trusted. All of that. However, I will try to do as NS does. I will read the poem from the bottom up and will sleep well tonight and know that tomorrow will be a good day, because honestly, even drinking over something like this isn't going to happen. This will not break me. Heading over to the roll call now to tack on another day.

Addy

[Dutch1988]

That was really good Addy, thank you!